Raggin' Piano Boogie

 

 
HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010

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May 31, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

It will be a challenge not to talk about the heat in the coming months. Mo and I went to my friends church to help create props for a children's summer bible camp they are about to start. While not being able to work with the Traveling Piano in this heat I can still stay active with contribution. Eric and Mary are good friends and are always willing to help and support me so of course I want to give that back. Mo had difficulty walking from the parking lot to the church building. The mix of the ground being so hot and his bad legs created a problem with balance. Once we got back home, I carried him for the first time from the truck up the stairs to our room because the ground was too hot for him to walk on and climb. Doggie pads on his feet will not work. As I was doing it I thought, this is not going to happen, we will need to get out of here for as much of the summer as possible. How? Where? The heat just makes me want to sleep. The temperature downtown where we live was a hundred and five degrees for this last day of May! When we we're younger we could handle it. Those days are gone.


May 30, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Trump, the first United States president, ex-president ever to be convicted of a felony... 34 felonies to be exact, the first accountability the man has ever faced in his lifetime of corruption, the lies, the fake facts fed to those with vulnerable minds, those raised under authoritarianism since birth from parents, religion, republicanism, teachers, etc... I must speak out about it in this journey blog. It is the opposite of everything, in every way of what this journey represents and everything I escaped from in my own upbringing in order to manifest this journey. I live with my indoctrinated youth forever and must stay forever vigilant for the sake of others and give those who want it strength support for the spirit of truth. The personal experience of those who support republicans with a vote disgusts me. With the supreme court, God help us. If for nothing else today serves as validation for our judicial system. No one is above the law in our society. Trump was found guilty through our system of checks and balances and a jury of his "peers." For today, just for today, I'm so relieved, feeling so good there is no interest in seeing what he or his cronies have to say about it in the news!

May 29, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

My friend Sid sent me a hundred bucks. I have friends who do that from time to time. They just want to support me and my work. It is not that they have money to throw around it is about friendship! Many years ago I remember writing about how my own family, with its large size, not one would never think to share support and God forbid I ever asked them for it, a big No, No! I have several male friends who have given me the feeling of what it is to be in brotherhood. This is something I am very grateful to have had in life because I missed that feeling in knowing it existed. I found that through this journey. With the price of everything going up, I need to fundraise once again. Every time in the past I say I am done. THis is the last time. Trying to wrap my head around doing it again has been excruciating. As I am able to do less through the years with age I do not feel worthy of asking for support to do less than what I was able to do say five years ago.


May 28, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada


May 27, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

The heat is here. Mo and I just did nothing today and I am glad we made use of the last few days with the Traveling Piano while the temps were bearable. There was a little tug to be out with people on the streets like in so many past years giving out popcorn, Gatorade, ice, etc... with the Traveling Piano, no feeling of a holiday. My strength to do the outreach seems almost gone. With it being Memorial day my political concerns are severe and I posted comments on about 50 Facebook and Instagram accounts my thoughts. What I posted is included with this writing. It certainly shows a side of myself many people never get to experience not that they would want to. Everyone had better wake the fuck up concerning the shit hitting the fan. Time to prepare in your head what to do, how to respond, no one needs to live in it, the future but... foresight and awareness is an absolute must. If trump gets back in the Traveling Piano will end because a new focus will take over for my life. We do not want for that to happen.

May 26, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

We hung out at my friends Eric and Mary's place by their pool today. I over extended myself with the Traveling Piano work over the last three days and need to take it easy now. Once home I found a beaked yucca (rostrata) on my street, never saw it bloom before. It is totally unique with flowers delicate, full and lush. It is stick like about 10' tall with a green ball on top and then out of the top of the green ball comes the white flowers! It is amazing to see.


May 25, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

While the weather is still nice I have been going out with the Traveling Piano as much as possible. The triple digit temperatures are going to start next week and they will last until the fall. God help us. Mo and I have been hanging out on Main street in downtown Las Vegas and it is a great spot for neighbors, locals and tourists. And... wow, you would not believe how crazy some people are. It can be kind of scary. The variety of types also. everything from wholesome families to people looking to hustle someone, couples, rich, poor, foreigners, people living on the streets... it is not dangerous just really weird. Was to have a meeting with someone I met last night about possibilities with the Traveling Piano. They we're micro dosing mushrooms which is the new drug industry in the making since pot is now already established. It is not good at all. I'll post about that at another time. Anyway, the person was with a friend and they we're both micro moving in and out of reality. What a waste of time that was.


May 24, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

It has been 2 yrs since the gun slaughter at Robb Elementary school in Uvalde, Texas where 19 young school children and 2 teachers were murdered. Mo and I went there to give support to the community with the Traveling Piano and continue to stand up for everyone affected with every opportunity. We are there today in spirit along side of people like Arnulfo Reyes the lone survivor, the teacher for room 111 to send a clear message for accountability and reform in all ways. It took police officers over an hour to end the massacre with their lack of effort and courage. Enough is Enough! END GUN VIOLENCE. When there, I was in the middle of it all and witnessed the beginnings of cover up, running away from responsibility, the republican negation and police on every level trying to deny accountability. The 2nd year for everyone can be worse than the first as everyone is still numb one year in. This gun slaughter was no means the first for the Traveling Piano. Virginia Tech in 2007 was the first.

May 23, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I put the spare piano in the truck with new cables and it worked, didn't work, had troubles and then it worked. Mo and I drove over to Main street to create some music for my sanity. I just needed to create music really bad. Earlier we spent some time in a park where the birds would not leave us alone. Pigeons, starlings, grackles and something else, they kept coming up to about three feet away. People must feed them like crazy because they were fishing aggressively for attention. They were not there to simply say hi. Anyway, creating music on Main Street was short lived because of the noise on the street. I drove to a quiet spot on my street. A couple I had met a few weeks ago and had a talk with randomly found us. They had not been on the Traveling Piano so... that happened. It sort of rounded off the night. I did get the music going again with a little for myself, a little for others and there was the interaction with the couple and that felt good.

May 22, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

When thinking of Mo in every way, I've taken to thinking of him as nearing 100 years of age which he is in human years. This has been helping me deal with his aging in every way. Doesn't he look great as an old man? This was just a few days ago. He is over 14 years old now and falling apart as we all do when getting older but... still enjoying life to the fullest. Nothing can be done about his legs, he still has his liver issue and now an abscessed tooth. So glad I am not a smothering over protective dog fanatic more concerned with fear of how we might hurt ourselves and what could happen. We just keep enjoying all possible as we continue to share our lives with the world.

May 21, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

The piano broke. Maybe the problem is the speaker, maybe one of the wires or the inverter. Maybe it is several of those possibilities. Maybe the problems are trading off with each other every time I try something different in the troubleshoot process. Right now it seems to be the piano most and also at the same time the piano wire to the speaker. What a fucking hassle. Thank God I have a spare which I so do not want to use because once that goes bad there will be no piano on the market that can replace it. Not that I could afford another piano. The one I need costs $2100 and there are no other options with the size and sound. The idea of fundraising feels just impossible. I have a spotfund account going that I've not updated for months. It all is so exhausting that when I took the spare down from my friend Eric's garage I could not lift the old one back up to the spot. And then there is the heat coming. The electrical equipment is going to get fried. Every year it gets worse. Onward we trudge... trudge... trudge.

May 20, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I had this blog entry written and then I deleted it by mistake. Hate when that happens. It was about AI and how it is taking everything over fast. Soon my photos, this website and everything else will be deemed passe and get lost in forever gone land. The health system, all customer service is now happening through AI. It is learning each individual in every way to direct your thinking and choices in life... it is a political dictators dream and for the purpose of profit. Humanities mind is being used for profit through AI. Not sure if I said it before but the founder of AI stepped away from it claiming it was being released before it was ready and may destroy humanity as a result. The 400 top developers penned a letter saying do not release, it is not ready. Greed through propaganda has won out. Never in the history of humanity has anything good come from profit first, progress second. My privacy online for what its worth is being more and more controlled and manipulated. My ability to use and search the internet becomes less daily. My fucking browser is working less and less as I refuse to upgrade and lose more individuality as a result. So be it. Goodbye internet and not ever so slowly... it is happening fast! The good that will come from the loss of the internet... I'll experience a lot less negativity for my life, thats for sure!

May 19, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mo's legs are becoming more difficult to use. Specifically his back legs. The left one keeps turning out and he had to drag it the other day when we we're walking and trying to stay up with the right leg. He has had arthritis for a long time and the socket is probably gone. I'll take him to the vet on Tuesday and hopefully a harness support can come into play. He will be carried around if needed. Online I found some herbal pain meds he can also take daily. Myself, everything about it shut me down for the day. I think the idea of his being uncomfortable, in pain or frustrated with his limitations is most disturbing for me. Of course, that is my own issues projected onto him. But then again, he and I are as one. He has always been as affected by my thoughts and feelings as I am his. Everytime the reality comes close that Mo's time is short, feelings of sadness and lose want to take me into a fog of despair and confusion. I do not want to project that onto him.



Of course my mind is in those places often. My mind issues are not necessarily all about Mo. Many people I speak with these days are living in a mind fog. I must remember at all times... we will all get through life... together. I can accept words of support from others just not phrases like "another dog will come along" or "get another dog" "he will be in a happier place." All that hurts everytime I see or hear it. Please do not negate another persons necessary grieving process, the love lost. It negates the individual relationship had. It is a selfish thought. Words like, "my thoughts are with you" "I love you" "I'm sorry for the passing" "I enjoyed how wonderful your relationship was" "I followed his life with you" ...there are many validating ways and thoughts to share about "us" rather than a replacement.

May 18, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I met the director of a non-profit called Friends of Red Rock Canyon that helps with the stewardship of the land. A meeting was being held for the volunteers and she asked how much would I charge to bring the Traveling Piano there. I told her too much and I do not offer the Traveling Piano for events. And then I offered it without cost even though I know they have money I did not want to sell myself short. As a gift, that is a different story. Of course I need money but how it comes my way is most important. If I am going to get paid it needs to be "my" worth to enjoy and feel respected. I thought, why did I offer that without cost? It was because the director was charming, lol. The problem was it being held at 9:30am which meant that I had to get up around 7:30am and that is in the middle of the night for me. Plus, the temperatures are now at a hundred degrees here in Las Vegas and the event was in the middle of the desert, just plain flat land with no shade. I had no sleep worried about the heat and Mo and myself and why... did I offer to do this!!! It all worked out, we played under a pop up tent they had for shade. I did not interact with anyone on the piano which saved energy and everyone was cooperative in getting a photo. Volunteers are very cooperative people because they are "giving" people. My kind of people, really... that what drove me deep down to go and share my music with them. I like to give to givers.

May 17, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mo and I connected with Phyllis Tilley today. Her stage name is Philly and she is a consummate Las Vegas lounge, lady piano player, singer and dueling pianist. I drove her down alleys and also on Main Street while she played with Mo on top of the piano. I wanted to see if Mo could still balance himself on top of the piano while the truck was moving as we have done for so many years in the past. With his time nearing the end of being on top of the piano because of his age, every opportunity to enjoy it is important. He would not lay down and paced back and forth while we were riding along which made Philly super nervous. He loved it as when we stopped he gave me a lick on the head which is a rare sign of pleasure. As we drove past the most crowded brewery a roar came in unison from everyone inside over what they were seeing and hearing along with the surprise of seeing the Traveling Piano passing by which many people know about. I offered Phillis the Traveling Piano to use should she get a booking that would work for it. She had to be a bit traumatized by the experience. I hope she enjoyed it. Playing for the first time on a moving truck is draining. The music has to be constant and strong and acute awareness is needed for what is happening in the surroundings.

May 16, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Continued from yesterday... There is no question that this present journey is winding to an end. I see it in life on many levels worldwide... everywhere. This reality belongs to myself only and I realize it does not belong to others, some not in the slightest. Do I want for others to see and live that aspect of my reality? Of course not unless it serves for the sake of wanted awareness. How to function with the knowing of what chaos, suffering and death is coming fast for the world can be incredible frustrating at times but... as the end nears, the present moment comes in with more clarity.



That is all there really is, the present moment. Thank God for the present moment. All the joy, excitement, feeling, knowledge and love that exists, it is in the present moment. Most of my sleep last night was dreaming in political resentment. I've said it before, trump like autocracy and fascist republicanism as we now know it, fundamental religious authoritarianism, those type of societal mindsets cohabiting as one is what I was indoctrinated into strong and hard as a child. But for the grace of God I escaped. This journey I have been on is the result of that escape, every particle of it.

May 15, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I know I have said that several times before and cannot say it enough. Once I step outside the knowing of our unified human spirit, there is nothing compatible about myself with those that adhere to what I was raised in. When I see the world turning to my past, I just... hate. Yep, I know how strong that word is. Dictatorships will destroy this civilization we are all living in worldwide. I hate that fact and have always known that in the end of times, most people will lose their truth of spirit by falling into the deepest of denial, that of who they are as one through falsehoods. Its happening not through one anti-christ, but many. This can easily happen to me, that of becoming gaslit concerning the truth of spirit. I must work daily and I do, to stay in a space of gratitude, joy, inclusiveness, acceptance, patience, compassion and empathy.



Some days are better than others with all of that. Sorry for those in alignment with destruction, self-centeredness, regression and exclusion... none of my goodness is for them unless they really, really need me for some reason and state that fact. I must detach from people who are toxic for me. The challenge on how I want to leave this world has always been clear... to leave it in personal righteous humility and faith, in the truth of spirit and with love for myself first and foremost, for the sake of others. Of course my gratitude rises above all else. I'll continue this tomorrow...

May 14, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

As I become more outspoken and open with my personal and more intimate ways, my opinions and attitude as to who I am and what I am about as a person, I think about how it turns off people, freaks some people out, some may interpret it as pushing others away but its not that at all. It is about standing up for what is important to me with a sense of self respect and for the sake of others who will benefit from that. Of course, I cannot please everyone, we all know that. The tradeoff for not presenting myself as a one dimensional Traveling Piano Man who creates and shares musical fun, friendship and respect is huge. It feels like my way in life shuts off commercial opportunities and being able to work with other entities for funding and brand development. But you know what? That is where the no fees, tips or commercial affiliation comes in. In this way, I get to be me... one hundred percent. That is more important than playing life for the sake of success in commercial or egotistical ways. What I do is by my design.


May 13, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Today was the first day of the year wearing shorts. The summer has begun. Mo is definitely happier these days now that I have been feeding him real food verses canned dog food at night. He has been getting rice and chicken mixed with string beans or carrots and he just can't wait for it night. I make several containers at one time and then freeze them. It makes me so happy to see him happy. Why did it take until the end of his life for me to do this? For much of his life we were on the road so it was not possible to cook but for the last seven years here in Las Vegas, it just never occurred to me? I am realizing that my nature photography days are winding down as neither of us can hike into new desert areas anymore. Mo is too old, I am too fat and out of shape, would never do it without him anyway. Thats all kind of sad but I have many, many photos and memories. The website gallery has... over 100,000 photos of people on the Traveling Piano and nature.

May 12, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Some guy wanted to give me tip, I said no thank you I do not accept tips. I said, "This is for you no agenda, a gift with no expectation or obligation." As he was leaving he said he left some money in the cab because he just had to, it was in a spot out of view. He left nothing in the cab and people like this are sooo... irritating. I just posted in my website about the hundreds and hundreds of people through the years who have set me up with expectation only to ghost their offerings and disappoint. I have put no obligation or expectation on others and I expect they do not craft the same for me, insert it into my head and then not follow through. This, when I never wanted or asked, or even said no thank you to begin with. I can list ten reasonings as to why people do this. There is no acceptable reason, period. It is just selfish, irresponsible, dis-respectful, inconsiderate, non-caring and shitty. Sometimes, I feel like I am in the Charlie Brown Sketch when Lucy keeps setting Charlie Brown up with expectation that she will hold the football for him to kick and then swipes it away at the very last minute every time so he falls on his ass. I trust, I want to trust that she will hold it for me even though everytime she takes it away at the last minute so I miss and fail because... thats just who she is, what she does.

May 11, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Weird, there was no getting up this morning until I could get up. I was totally exhausted until I was able to wake. Mo and I were going to head to my friends Eric and Mary but beginning tomorrow the temperatures are going to start hitting the nineties. While still possible we headed to the streets with the Traveling Piano. First stop was by friends I know living on the sidewalks to create some music for them until... the piano's sound battery went dead. The convertor turned on somehow overnight (it does that) and along with the present heat, the battery drained. I drove around to recharge and ended up on the corner of Sahara and Las Vegas Blvd until security came running over. The spot was perfect but the owner of the souvenir store there is a jerk and totally territorial. After a while driving around to find another good spot, we ended up on the Strip outside Albo's pizza.



I parked the Traveling Piano on the sidewalk and had fun with locals and tourists. Dazed from the drain of personal energy I drove back to my apartment where to the left two rooms down my old drunk neighbor with her old fat alcoholic boyfriend got into a fight big enough to bring six cop cars, with large cameras up in the air and lights to shine on the door? What that was about I have no clue. A half hour later six doors down on the left, some guy had a fight with a street guy he had brought into the complex and the street guy left angry while setting off the apartment complex fire alarm. Then it was twenty minutes with all alarms going off until the fire truck came to turn it off. All the neighbors hung out in the parking lot because the sound was too loud to stay in side the rooms.

May 10, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I am find that when I am rested enough I want to work with the Traveling Piano naturally all the time without thought. It is my first choice for any day even more than hanging out in nature anymore. Of course nature has major limitations now with Mo's not being able hike anymore. It feels like I am coming out of a very long period of my life ending in mind, body and spirit. So, today I was feeling good and went to several different locations to create music and hang out with people. There is a point I come to when it is clear I am done with no chance of pushing it any further. My mind just shuts down. There is no clarity for what I am doing and I cannot focus enough when relating with people to adjust to individual needs and personality. Getting in and out of the truck becomes extremely difficult. The energy to play music just practically stops. This is all a good thing because when I have been able to push myself in the past it has always been too much and I suffer for days in all ways for it.

May 09, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

When going out with the Traveling Piano I need to judge several factors now a days. Like today, the clouds in the sky gave a message that the sunset in Redrock was going to be phenomenal but with temperature it was best to stay downtown. Its always cooler in Redrock so save that for hotter days and work downtown while I still can. The temperatures are to rise at the end of the week. Neither of us can hang out in heat or sun even in the eighties anymore, nor can the truck or piano. The piano keys do not work when they are hot and the trucks engine runs rough. That with the engine having been replaced a year or two ago. I'm done with that mechanic I have been using for more reasons than just efficiency.

May 08, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mo and I returned to Spring Mountain today just to hang out. There wasn't much energy to be had. Practically no walking, we just maneuvered back and forth between sun and shade with my lounge chair. This needed to happen before it gets too hot. We must enjoy nature as much as possible. The rangers were on top of us immediately with the leash issue with absolutely no one around, anywhere. I guess I need to just go with the flow concerning my energy anymore, the fact that some days I have it and other days I do not. Last night I took a sleep apnea home test which I am 90% sure is nothing more than a joke. Of course they will justify giving me a machine that the government will pay for. It has become clear in the last seven years that the problem with health care is all about inefficient providers and price gouging from them. It all is too embedded into the system to fix and a 50-50 as to finding decent care at a decent price. As I have mentioned in this blog, the doctor who delivered me, he died back just a few years ago and he was it for my entire life with less than five specialists and one hospital visit ever. Now, 99% of the doctors I have dealt with equal practically zero in worth.

May 07, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I've said it about a hundred times now, the weather when it is good... need to take advantage of every moment be it in nature or working with the Traveling Piano. I took the truck out today onto Main street for just a while and pushed my energy until I had three different interactions with people. This felt good. There was a father with his young pregnant daughter, the baby just a few days from birth. They are friends with someone who was checking out the drug/murder business behind my place that just got shut down last month. The father's friend is getting ready to sign a lease for the restaurant there as the owners are playing shenanigans again to get the place going. By law they are to be shut down for a year. I told the guy to warn his friends not to sign the lease and now I need to warn myself to just keep my mouth closed to avoid trouble. It took seven years to get that place shut down. Everything has been nice in my area ever since. I so do not want to see it open again! What a coincidence that I would run into this encounter about the place so close to home and so randomly.

May 06, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mo and I found heaven today. We just laid in foot high soft green grass under the sun listening to the leaves blowing from the trees. The feeling was that of a cool, breezy, dry, late spring day. This, just three miles south of Redrock Canyon just outside of Las Vegas less than an hour from where we live. I went to get water from the truck and Mo started to run in the opposite direction for the first time ever. No... no... I'm not leaving, lol! Our hiking days have ended. He is too old now. This will be a perfect place to just sit in and enjoy nature while Mo eats grass out the wazoo. There are plenty of trees for shade, the truck close by, hardly any people around. Ahh the desert! And there was a lake also although it was fenced off and barely visible.


May 05, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Las Vegas Downtown in the middle area of the strip is fast becoming as strong a destination, just as much the huge casino area to the south and Fremont street to the north. Both locals and tourists are hanging out together here where I live. On any given day you can find up to ten places with live music of all types. There are the clubs always pounding their speaker music onto the sidewalks. Mo and I took a walk to see whats blooming with the neighborhood cactus and we checked out a few new wall murals today. It being Cinco de Mayo, the Mexican Restaurants we're over the top with bands both inside and out. One place named Letty's de Leticia's Cocina transported me out of Las Vegas and in into Mexico with an awesome five piece Mariachi Band in a small space full of people at little tables, everyone happy... and then the band outside was as good as it can get!


May 04, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

This blog, I am very aware how the tone has changed over the years from exciting trial and tribulations, getting into shape physically, adventure, possibilities, strength and high energy to being sick, old, angry, dying and fat once again. My weight issue has been the most consistent theme, it is my core life issue and fear too. And then there is my complaining. It is what it is. I try to keep a balance with what I share, that is a challenge. There has been a lot more to share than I have written in this blog. People say there is a lot written as it is so... The fact is that my life is complex and I appreciate that fact. I live on many levels at the same time in states of accomplishing, not accomplishing, complaining, feeling, gratitude and sharing wonder and joy. Through it all, the Traveling Piano work continues. It has remained consistent for seventeen years and twenty before that... which is pretty amazing.

May 03, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I had a weird night of sleep, got up early went back to sleep. Woke at two in the afternoon feeling rested. Thank God I can do that. A yearning, a feeling told me that I needed to get out and create some music on the street if only just for myself. Once I got going it was after dinner and when I opened my door there was a lot of traffic outside. After a few moments I realized it was First Friday downtown, a hang out event that is getting very crowded now with all the new bars and clubs. Everything was right for me to have some Traveling Piano fun and that is what Mo and I did with people, mostly young kids for about three hours.



I realized that most of the people were between eighteen and twenty three years old. The temperature was perfect and this might have been the best month concerning that for First Friday. Before driving back into my parking lot I played music for about a half hour on the street outside my apartment complex just for myself which felt good. With no parking to be had on the streets and living in the middle of everything downtown, how cool it is to be able to just drive into my apartment parking lot and have a secure place to park right outside my door. It feels like having an apartment in Times Square, New York with a parking spot right there, lol.

May 02, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I am just so disgusted with the fascist republican party as it is in America today and worse, those that support it. While this fact may turn people off to me and the Traveling Piano... so be it. I do not share my life for liars and those batshit crazy who harm others. This life of mine and my work is for me and hopefully as an example for others to benefit from. On my mind now is the South Dakota governor, the dog killer named Nome who wants to be vice president. Worse than her killing is the using of that to brag about it, who she is as a person. Her lies and way of life, her thinking and lack of character is contrary to every particle of my being. I feel hurt by people like this. Republicans, trumpers, if they do not like you, how you look or smell, if you do not behave as they dictate, if they cannot profit off you in some way, they will simply kill you and brag about it to create as much bravado and/or fear as possible for the sake of domination, manipulation and control.

May 01, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

It is a lot of fun for me to see people posting about their experience with the Traveling Piano online. God forbid I ever get so big that negatives begin to happen or just negatives, period. Last month was difficult in being sick and with my back out of whack. Now feeling better, today I became conscious of that fact. How crazy is that? When I have physical trouble anymore I get so into it that nothing else exists. While I tell myself it will pass as it always does, I forget the feeling of the reality almost completely. It is as though I will be in pain and spiral downhill for the rest of my life. I bet age has a lot to do with those feelings and thoughts. Anyway, it feels surprising to realize that the back pain and flu or whatever it was is gone. The energy ever since covid has returned sporadically. It exists in an ebb and flow... big ebbs and flows through the days. I am thinking about the coming heat with Mo, myself and the Traveling Piano while all I seem to be able to do is live in the day. That is best, correct? Not always. Planning is needed in life on some level while living in the day to achieve the plan at the same time?