Raggin' Piano Boogie

HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010

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August 31, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

This was the worst month I think for the journey. Not to be a downer, but it is what it is. I was really bad in staying consistent with the blog. Nothing new was happening with the heat except that I have been falling down the rabbit hole into darkness. So few people interactions, practically no music, physically and mentally just really bad... my spiritual state has been keeping me alive through gratitude and meditation. I've been fighting off anger big time. Mo is slowly losing his cognitive abilities, hearing, sight, etc... his passing will be the most difficult challenge to accept in my life to date. The Traveling Piano's truck paint and undercoat peels away daily, the heat has destroyed the piano and speaker, they still work but it is really difficult to work it all, no fun... yep, its been a bad month. I must climb up and back out of the hole to move onward into a more stimulating life. How can I get the support to bring everything up to snuff? I've lost my mojo. But then again... I am up to date here with this post, right?

August 30, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

This is a continuation from Aug 28th - 29th - and today now. Random thoughts from 2012. ... After that, Los Angeles. I've been there but never with the piano and truck. The idea, "New York to LA" with the Traveling Piano has always had a nice ring to it... even more than New York... to Seattle or Newfoundland, Mexico, Canada or Alaska which we have done. I was heading to Hollywood five years ago with a plan to open up my wildest dream to the world on a television show and also to have the world meet Piano Dog Boner before he passed. I was where I am now in Arizona when the student government from Virginia Tech called me after their massacre asking us to come and spend time with them so... it turned out not to be the time for Hollywood. The second attempt was when Boner became sick. I thought, "we need to get there before it is too late. We got as far as Missouri before he passed. The world did end up meeting him just not in LA. So now... third try. The only specific agenda will be to share the Traveling Piano but I am apprehensive because I don't want to lose myself and that is easy to do, meaning... become someone I am not. (bigger than life in my own head and to other people).

It will take constant and diligent effort (which I hope will not exhaust my energy) to not see every person and interaction not as an opportunity or possibility to fulfill illusional needs. I want to experience everyone as an equal and be responsible with my interactions of fun, friendship and respect. When I meet influential people my job will be to enjoy their spirit and accomplishments. The nature of the stereotypical hollywood animal, oh it can feel so good... is enjoyable and I do want some but... must know when enough is enough and when to get out and... be always objective about what is happening if anything does. God, I hope I have learned enough to "keep it all real" trust myself, stay conscious and not become delusional about what I want more and more and more of. Then again I may not even partake in any hoopla. Here in Tucson I haven't even been to the center city upscale hoopla and I know in Vegas there is a possibility I may never see the inside of a casino although for about thirty years I've been wanting to see Circus de Soleil. But then again, "Hey Danny don't project concern... your still here in Tucson will be another week and then it will probably be a few more weeks before you even get to California.

August 29, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

This is a continuation from yesterday, thoughts from 2012. ... After that, Los Angeles. I've been there but never with the piano and truck. The idea, "New York to LA" with the Traveling Piano has always had a nice ring to it... even more than New York... to Seattle or Newfoundland, Mexico, Canada or Alaska which we have done. I was heading to Hollywood five years ago with a plan to open up my wildest dream to the world on a television show and also to have the world meet Piano Dog Boner before he passed. I was where I am now in Arizona when the student government from Virginia Tech called me after their massacre asking us to come and spend time with them so... it turned out not to be the time for Hollywood. The second attempt was when Boner became sick. I thought, "we need to get there before it is too late. We got as far as Missouri before he passed. The world did end up meeting him just not in LA. So now... third try. The only specific agenda will be to share the Traveling Piano but I am apprehensive because I don't want to lose myself and that is easy to do, meaning... become someone I am not. (bigger than life in my own head and to other people).

August 28, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I wrote these thoughts in 2012... The journey as I know it will be ending soon. Exactly when, why and what it will mean or look like to me I have no idea. It could be end today and then again it might be six years from now. "Soon" is a relative term. My mother thought the world was going to end "Soon." It did for her... just not in the way she thought which was from a religious armageddon stand point along with media chaos and predictions. She thought about it, felt the fact her whole life and that life ended thirty years ago. I lived with my dad and he felt an impending doom as he began to drink alcoholically and show physical signs of deterioration in his later years. As he used to do things like fall down or just sit in darkness and watch television I would think and feel, "he is going to die any day now." It was all a very real for me as I analyzed and calculated from life experience through fear. I was sure of what I thought I knew everyday... for fifteen years. So anyway... before the journey ends and at whatever cost or consequences (like ending up living on skid row)... I am going to Las Vegas. I just want to see it. It has been on my bucket list and is one of the original animations made for this website when I first began. Even if I just drive through it and get a picture that will be good enough.

August 27, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

It is too hot to function. I found these silly random (maybe not so silly) thoughts from 2012 so I have been posting them throughout the month. While driving I was thinking about my reality that we are all here in heaven. I use my brain to have the experience physically here on earth. Along with my brain I use grace and free will. With free will I can also choose the experience of purgatory (hanging around doing nothing) or hell. To experience heaven is easy, all I have to do is "be"... not to confuse that with purgatory... I "consciously" use my brain to be... I use my brain in choosing when or when not to think or feel.

August 26, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Had a not so nice time taking Mo for a walk tonight. While walking down the street I heard screaming and thought it was just a woman, crazy and screaming at her tent on the sidewalk. But when I got to the spot, the guy she was with was pounding her head in with his fists. This is where I wish I had more strength. I pulled him off her twice as he jumped back on top of her, it was not good. I even punched him and that was when he had to reassess his priorities as to who he was going to continue his attack with. While he was doing that, she ran off. He must have known me which translates into respect because then he tried to rationalize that he was angry because she had destroyed his food for the next day. I was like... you we're killing her. For the first time ever, I had my phone with me and called 911 to come check on the woman and take him down. The police did come and I made a voluntary police report of it all and they arrested him. I hope the woman is alive, I said a pray for her. There is not much feeling about it for me, it was clearly not acceptable, I feel sorry for them both, if I was stronger or had a metal pipe with me I may have killed the guy. Beating on a defenseless woman... not on my watch.

August 25, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Wow, everyone living on the streets are having a difficult time in the heat. I was laying on my bed next to the window. An emaciated woman got into the apartment complex and walk by, saw I was there and paced back in forth with a timid knock one of the times. I opened the door and as she tried to make conversation I had to say she didn't belong in here and had to go. That was so difficult but I must keep my limits and boundaries. They all know where I live and they know I help them but what they don't know or get is that I help them when I can. Of course they are desperate so they are going to ask all the time. Another boundary and limit for me is a homeless person asking for a ride in the truck. Sometimes it is no big deal but all the time I must say no. There are too many things that can go wrong in the future from one little slip up. The boundary is for myself first and foremost. I need to know what I cannot do as well as what I can do... for myself. Once I slip with giving out water or food from my doorway well, can we talk Pandora's box? And a ride... that boundary and limit is for me alone. It does not have to make sense or have reason.

August 24, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

It felt very reassuring to see Democratic American Social Justice working today with donald trump and his co-conspirators being booked on criminal charges. Enough is enough. And, for the world to see as an example what makes the United States of America different from all other democracies... no man even a president, is above the law. We the People. His mug shot, a bratty childlike scowl with blood shot eyes that showed the sadness and humiliation of being served his due process like a child spoiled and about to be punished. What is happening now affects all our lives, it has affected this journey in many ways. I cannot state how important it is for every good person to speak out against the fascist republican voting sector of this country that trump has empowered. Many may think that I am shutting off many people from the Traveling Piano in speaking like this. Fact is... they are not my kind of people. The Traveling Piano is for everyone... except for fascists, they get nothing from me but distain.

August 23, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Four years, every Monday rain or shine and for every holiday, I joined up with a local Diocesan Roman Catholic church community as they fed people living on the streets and gave out resources. Even when they did not show up, I was there. Towards the end of those four years I became almost homeless myself and asked them all personally for help. I thought by that time we were all friends, family "like" even. The help I got... the priest while saying a mass on the sidewalk, told his parishioners to help. Out of obligation and expectation for the priest they created an act of symbolism to escape guilt and/or disobedience. They collected eight dollar bills and presented that to me. This is no joke, that actually happened. Here they give every week to those living on the streets and for people like me... too bad for me. This is because their giving is not real. They do it only for the sake of obedience... or else. At that point I thought... the priest himself gives out money weekly. He loves how everyone surrounds and mobs him for it as they gather and press in to get the cash and gift cards he has. For me... he pawned any personal help off and any personal responsibility to his worthless parishioners for eight bucks total.

Then, I found out that some of those church people we're walking around with guns for protection every week. Of course that kind of "faith" does not work for me. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I tried in five different ways, at five different times to get in contact with the priest for clarity and as a friend. I wanted to tie up lose ends as to why I was going to share the Traveling Piano in other places from that time on. The priest dodged me at every turn. He completely ghosted me even when I went to where he lived. Well, I synchronistically ran into that local diocesan priest a few days ago. He arrived with a few of his parishioners to give out some resources to the homeless where I was sharing the Traveling Piano. All his people avoided me like the plague. They knew better than to approach me. I had given every single person a letter as to why I was detaching from them because a few wanted to assign false motive and reasons, to create denial of what they are really about. I wanted to make sure everything was clear because I was respected and valued... or so I thought. So, I personally handed out about fifty letters to every one of them and that was it. I detached.

After the few that were around the other day left, the priest stayed behind and thought he was going to be the big man after his cowardly avoidance of me years ago. He walked over to me while I was creating music... "we missed you" he said. "I have a beef with you" I replied. A personal prayer was said in my head before he got to me... to stay strong and clear. He thought I would bow to his gesture as I am sure he has set up his life so that very few people have ever confront him. And he is now like eighty years old. He was totally taken back while denying completely any knowledge of the past. He knew... but as I jolted his memory fully, he flitched and it all completly kicked in. But, he just continued with his denials anyway. I gave it to him right between the eyes, the facts and truth. It was a whammy like only Danny Kean can deliver. He said, "I got to go" as he began to back off. I said no, I am not finished. You are to give me the respect I deserve and hear me out fully. Come closer to the truck... which he would not do. I said, do you want me to say it loudly for every to hear? Come closer. He would not so I said very loudly, there are those that "do for" Jesus and those the "do through" Jesus. You are not the latter. What you do is for yourself.

Away he scurried as he said "God Bless you." I replied, "and God Bless you." He said, "Lover your enemies." I wanted to reply, "don't try to preach you're Catholic guilt to me bub, I got over that many years ago." But, I stopped myself and just let him go. It is because of that kind of people, this journey began. The people in my life we're all takers. They loved what I gave to them and then they just took, took, took until I became a dry well... empty and none of them cared, none of them ever gave back in any way to nurture my continued giving. All of my love, compassion and empathy for other people manifested fully with this journey through the relization that there is basically just me, myself and I... when all is said and done. Sometimes I just need help, right? Born from past suffering that I was able to endure through the grace of God, all the happiness I have been able to bring into the world has manifested.

You can read in this blog many times where I state... I now, only give to other givers. Homeless people on the streets give me real love and that is enough. I have a few close friends in life who are givers. Thank God for them. The random Traveling Piano giving to everyone else has been perfect because I do not know who is a giver or taker. It does not matter because now I give for the sake of my belief in the truth of spirit and how the universe works. This journey is what God, the universe or whatever has given back to me as a result. But, if I find out you are nothing but a taker well, I don't want to find that out. If I do, I detach. If I did not detach, that would be simply enabling a dysfunction that causes a lot of suffering for me. It felt very gratifying to be able to tie up lose ends with that priest and have closure. His kind of behavior, his congregants, diocesan Catholics as a whole... thank God I do not have to live with any of them. I'll take a Franciscan, Jesuit or Dominican Catholic any day over a diocesan Roman Catholic. Although I must say... the present pope, a Jesuit, Pope Francis has been a shining star. Actually a star that most diocesan Catholics with their authoritarian political views would like to see die. This is the music of my journey, every day my experience, strength and hope and most importantly my truth of spirit... for better or worse.

August 22, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

With a day of cooler temps before the heat comes back, Mo and I took the Traveling Piano onto the strip. We we're in the sun. I put sun block on my head and Mo... after about 20 minutes began to actually hop around on top of the piano rug. Its too hot... its too hot... its too hot! He lets me know when the ground is too hot for his paws even though he likes to lay sideways on hot cement. So that ended. And it was only 90º out! Looks like the high 80's will be our new mark unless it is more windy and we are in the shade with the Traveling Piano. We had pulled up on the sidewalk outside my friend Pavel's Pizza place on the strip. It felt really good with the people we got to interact with during the time spent.

August 21, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Wow, some relief. The storm from hurricane Hillary never manifested. It dissipated west from here. The day was sunny and the skies were beautiful. Part of me was disappointed as I had set my brain on cloudy rain for the next four days. Usually, I am good with predicting weather, it has been a huge part of my life with the Traveling Piano for over 35 years. Especially, when I was performing and my money depended on good weather. I go inside of myself to know what to do, whether to prepare or not because the media hype is super not dependable. Well, I went with the media better to be safe than sorry mentality and it was all for naught. The truck cover and bungie chords all came off and got packed away pretty easily. Then, with the sun and temps in the high eighties I thought, I need to deal with the piano. If the power source had stopped working because of the heat or what. I pulled it out onto the street and hooked it all up and yep, the heat for sure was the problem. The equipment no longer works in high heat.

Well, that makes for three of us... the truck, Mo and myself... none of us can work in the heat anymore. Then we took the truck out to play some music. The heat has pretty much destroyed the piano and speaker. Thats a couple of thousand bucks gone. I'll deal with it as long as I can. Creating music is not so much fun but the work of doing what I can in creating music for others especially those living on the streets is more important than my fun right now. It has been a friggin' month since we we're last out! Mo jumped into the truck with my help three times. He loved getting back up on top of the piano but also now with his age and knowing his senses are not always there he is super cautious. When he feels unsure he wants off the piano. He just jumps down not caring wether I want him to or not. A large part of his being comfortable in his own skin is to have enough exercise which he has not had because of the heat.

August 20, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

As Mo and I have been walking the streets for the last two days giving everyone living on them a heads up about the storm with flooding on the way, I thought that I had best take care of the Traveling Piano. There is so little rain here in Las Vegas that I forget that the cover is no longer very protective from it. A strong downpour will soak the inside with all the equipment and a storm as big as what is expected will absolutely destroy everything. Thank God I have a heavy cover in the back and am loaded up with bungie chords to use. It was like old times strapping everything on and making super sure it will all be secure concerning strong winds.

August 19, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Nothing going on new...

August 18, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Through the years, living with the lack of security in having a home base out of choice, it was very difficult. I'm grateful I am not still in that mode for today. The money issues... I am paying the bills, just enough. I feel amazingly thankful about that and also that I have not been obsessing over the need to replace equipment... which is needed or the future when I will need more money than I have. The down side to that is, I just don't care. I do not have it in me to obsess. I also do not have it in me to change how I have been working. If it all just stops, it all just stops. The world... dealing with the service sector in anyway be it the health system, stores, internet... I see now how older people get scammed the most. They just do not have it in themselves to care about it and so they allow it to happen. Keeping the awareness of not losing myself in my head is an everyday challenge. I remember one of the main sayings in recovery from alcohol. Danny, don't go playing around with the toys in your head, they are broken. lol

August 17, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I need to make some decisions with clarity about moving forward. It is difficult and has to do with how straight forward I am on this website and on social media platforms about issues that are important for me. Issues concerning homophobia, pro-gun maniacs, republican voters, fake Christians, you know... the great divide right now in America? In wanting to get the truck refurbished or find support, for those that know me or for people that can give benefit to doubt it might not be an issue. But I know that in a business sense... my openness will turn off most people on both sides of the fence. Do I just continue with who I am resulting probably in no growth but feeling very satisfied with my life's work or negotiate in guessing what I should put out into the world or not... for the sake of finances. This comes down to the "people do not need to know everything" mentality. I would like my truest character with all its warts and blemishes to be more helpful to the world in reality, then molding myself and what I divulge to appease what people want to experience. It all comes down to a personal choice, eh? I feel appreciative that I am self aware enough to know the consequences of my choices in life and can in fact choose for myself.

August 16, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I wrote this in 2012. Since nothing is going on today except intense heat outside... this was about Mo. My dog has an instinct for complete passivity. It happens when he experiences total helplessness. As with my dog Bo he does not seem, with humans... to have a fight until death instinct... with other dogs, yes. That same instinctual passivity crosses over into trust. His sense of physical trust with me is simply amazing. It feels like he was born with trust all around and the fact that I have stayed out of the way, not blocked it, questioned it, destroyed it in anyway is critical. He does have a fear/flee impulse and if it is not related to me and is related to something else, I do not have any influence in his behavioral action. Instinctual resistance does exsist always. He pushes away from me even when he wants me to pull him in closer. His physical looks. Before this dog I have always thought blood hound eyes were ugly. Mo has learned to mirror my smile. He has a have smile where he curls his mouth in on one side and a full smile where he grins with all his bottom teeth showing... a look I have always deemed ugly almost disgusting. Having come to love and enjoy this look immensily I have realized my embracing of it comes from trust. Trust of basic spirit intent and our relationship together.

August 15, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

This time without using the Traveling Piano because of the heat has been used for going through about a million files that comprise my archives, no exaggeration. I do not want to move on until I have a comfortable sense of order. Other than that, I am going crazy in this room. If I do not meditate, fear begins to take hold. I am not going crazy over any one thing, just in general. That and lots of anger about politics, bad people feeling empowered, the environment, all the same stuff on most people's minds whether they are aware of it or not. The state of the world, Mo's getting older with all of what that entails and also my own physical limitations.

August 14, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Nothing going on new. I found some random writings from 2012 so I am just going to post a few. - In thinking about what I have to offer for life concerning a legacy of my "own" for people to have after I leave... I grabble with if and how much the internet plays in it all. Is my connection to the internet necessary, important for the future? Certainly now... it helps get my word, spirit and actions out into the world. Just how much effort do I want to continue putting into it and why? Today, it is so important for me to stay conscious and not to get caught up in all the business of the internet which translates into an impulse to try and protect my work and keep myself visible. When you type "Traveling Piano" into most search engines these days the words are now being directed to different business sites that have nothing to do with the Traveling Piano

My internet presence is becoming lower and lower on the totem pole because... I am not selling anything not creating business for business. I remember how in the beginning the internet was about educational people. Then it became about people connecting for different reasons like friendship, family with personal websites, people connected with "like" interests... sex for example, barter and exchange, the sale of personal items... that is all still there but now it is becoming about people dominating through business... all that is a sell, dominate and have the most of everything. I am finding that everything on the internet is becoming less and less about sharing unless attached to a business agenda with obligation and expectation.

August 13, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

More random thoughts from 2012 that I never posted... So... how much do I want to be a part of it... certainly not enough to try and change, manipulate, save or play the domination game myself. I am not even into damage control. It is important for me to find ways to work with and in all the dysfunctions of life I come across including my own. Disconnecting myself and isolating... going my own way entirely is an illusional way that serves no purpose and can be destructive all around. It is also very lonely.

The only thing I can figure to do for now is the best I can to remain a person... that shares first and foremost and not who "works" a business, all about business and... keep the transparency of that fact to the best of my ability. I want to say there are many, many people like myself in the world. There is a difference between a business and nonbusiness in how people operate. It is possible to operate from both ways. If it is possible to live life all about business. It is also possible to live life all "not" about business. It is possible to live a successful, fulfilling and enjoyable life in a productive balance of both.

August 12, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Just rambling thoughts from 2012 I found as I have nothing new to say today. I want a name for a "non-business" world. A "sharing" world does not work. People tend to be or fluctuate between the two worldly states. Giving the name "spiritual" to it creates all kinds of misleading connotations because people often confuse spirituality with religion. The bottom line is that I want to live in a "transparent" world and that is what I best have to offer through myself, a transparent world of enjoyment. A business world creates a life of ownership. Ha, I'll say it... a spiritual world creates a life of sharing. I want for myself and everyone else to see the transparency of it all. This is a way to survive, through transparency.

August 11, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I am posting random thoughts today from 2012 that I found because I have nothing new happening. Animals do not seem to need transparency although I would not know. They do have the same issues as people. Right now as I am writing this on a small house porch in the woods with Mo laying next to me on the ground... we are minding our own business and... a deer is circling us. It stops every so often in different spots about a hundred feet away not hiding or anything it stands out in the open while stamping one of its hoofs on the ground or against a fallen tree stump. It is snorting at us loudly to say, "get out of the territory she "owns." Probably because she has babies to protect. But... she is instigating trouble. I am so resisting telling Mo to "Go after and get her!" Ha... he so wants to. I mean, we were here first, she's only a few years old and... who's ancestors were here first? We own this spot! Ha, she has been at it for over an hour now. Its probably because of the crazy energy in this vortex where we are staying. I am going to go eat a fresh salad in front of her and not share any of it!!! Not really. I'll eat it in the house.

August 10, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Youtube took up most of my day. I've been uploading videos randomly from the start in 2006 and through the years I've paid less attention to my channel because of time constraints more than anything. So every few months I'll post something and discover my settings have changed, because there has been a system change like... the videos are on mute or have become private for no one to see. Then I need to go in and change them all one by one because there is no bulk change for something like that. I have just ignored the super old videos thinking they were ok. Today I realized why no one sees any of the videos or likes them or comments on them. The comment sections we're turned off and all the comments I used to have are erased. There are so many settings now it is ridiculous. I've always clicked on the "Made for Kids" setting because obviously I want kids to see the videos and they are ok for kids. But Youtube needs you to select the "Not made for Kids" setting for everyone to see the videos including kids. How stupid is that?

So my videos as selected have been directed to kids only except for the fact that there is nothing about them specifically for kids so they are directed to no one. And, there is no bulk setting for that so I had to go into each video to change the setting. Then I saw postings with old fundraising links from facebook and the hell of all fundraising scams... gofundme. I'll never forget how gofundme screwed me over with its system changes and non-transparency so... all those links had to be taken out. There are almost 500 videos I have uploaded on Youtube. To realize that from over so many years was mind blowing for me. I've now created playlists on my channel to find the videos easier like videos of me playing ragtime and boogie woogie verses improvisation, slideshows, vintage videos, the videos of people playing have their own play list, etc... It feels good to be somewhat more organized.

August 09, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mo and I have been taking walks inside local malls these days because it is over a hundred degrees out and even at night the temps only go down to the high nineties. Of course... it is summertime and we live in a desert. And then there is climate change and all the greed creating that and destroying the earth. The stores found in most neighborhood malls now sell mostly crap. They are totally boring. The food courts are all pure junk and processed, dirty fast food chains. And oh my God, the sneaker stores. Sneakers dominate the malls by filling them up a good thirty percent. How many sneakers do people purchase every year now? They probably cost three bucks to make in a third world country and then they come and sell them here for no less than sixty bucks. It seem that sneaks are the most marketed item for tourists to purchase. I went into Saks which is a nothing special department store now, and they had a blue pair of sneakers for nine hundred bucks! I have more of a problem with people who would spend that kind of money on a sneaker than those with billionaire greed.

August 08, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I worry that my weight is destroying my bed mattress and I would never have the money to replace it. Every morning I still think first thing, Musical Fun, Friendship and Respect... Empowerment and Inspiration and then I go into things I am grateful for. Mo... my room... the ability to pay for it... friends... the toilet... air conditioning... etc... When meditating or just sitting with little activity, my thoughts always turn to food. It has always been and will probably always be this way. Sometimes I think that my need to organize and file and create lists into nothingness is a pathological illness while knowing I do it to survive. It helps my mind to work. I was going through my files of contacts over the years. There are more than 10,000 people... where are they, why am I not rich from all the work? LOL Eating my way through the five pounds of steel cut oats with different ingredients every day is beginning to be fun. Right now I am eating oats with salt, milk, apple, cinnamon and honey. Mo is sitting on the bed in front of me right now licking his paw in boredom.

August 07, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Sometimes I write things about myself, my feelings and thoughts and think, feel a little uneasy about making it public. There is a comfort in knowing most all will get lost in the massive amounts of data and writing over time because there is so much to read and go through. There are not that many people who come to this blog now everyday as before. I am sure there are those that lose interest but return every once in a while to see if I am still going or what I am up to. There are many who have died off from age, lol. Most people these days are too distracted in life flittering from one point to the next. People have a lot less ability to give attention to any one thing for long enough time even to access this blog in order to read an entry.

Hell, most people who have experienced the Traveling Piano in person no longer even seek out their photos! The experience... here one moment, gone the next. Unless, somehow it is jolted in there memory down the line. But by them they will have forgotten I have pictures of them to share. Watching videos online, shopping and reading about negativity, posting on social platforms and seeing what other people post dominates the internet. When you put the Traveling Piano into a search engine what you begin to see is ads for "purchase a traveling piano" "13 best traveling pianos" "average cost of private music lessons" " purchase a Traveling Piano man" or other people traveling with their piano's for commercial advantage, etc...

August 06, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

My internet was down for three days and wow, what a jolt of reality. No computer or phone internet. I am not on it all the time. I go on and off all day long. My level of use, I consider to be medium but losing that medium level left me in a very uncomfortable state. I almost could not think and felt totally lost. How crazy is that for such a short time? If the turn off would have been planned, it would have been easier I think. No checking accessing my finances, emails, the weather... reading all the shit in the news... feeling connected to life on social platforms, posting here to the blog, it was just me and Mo in our room. Although, it did help me focus on work.

I have been consolidating all my backups of data and there are thousands of photos from other people I have been wanting to organize and file away for years. Never the less, I do not want to be dependent on the internet for my life. I think about people for example in the Ukraine. A bomb hits their town and home and they are immediately placed in a state of nothingness. I want to know I can live in and through that. Of course I would have no choice in the matter but still... confidence, reassurance through myself and validation on an every day level of who I am without the worlds conveniences is important. The loss of access did spur some creativity and the start of work arounds just in case it was forever. I could get to several needs via the phone.

August 05, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

There is no drive for me to leave a personal legacy but there is a very strong drive for me to keep my love alive through as many generations as possible after I am gone. The world will forget feelings, then the objectification takes over, and then all there is, a faint memory. The memory of me and my work and my pups probably won't last more than a generation. History is no longer important to people in the world. And, who knows how many generations will be left in this world anyway. I would love for my life to be discovered in the next civilization ten thousand years from now. How would I preserve everything? That would be out of my hands to place in a power greater than myself. The power of the Universe or God maybe? I'd love a viral movement to create as many tombstones as possible for me throughout into the world with as many mediums as possible in as many ways saying... "Traveling Piano Man Danny Kean, 1955 to ... He Did It His Way." LOL, that would be a blast.

August 04, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I am writing this entry first thing in the morning as it does not seem to get done otherwise anymore. The blog is important to me, a daily account of the journey coming on twenty years! On another note, my friends Eric and Stephen are going to help coordinate my passing when it happens. Of course they both may goes before me. Maybe we will all go together. Who knows? Eric lives here in Las Vegas and Stephen on the east coast. Eric and Mary will take in Mo and get the important things out of my room pronto. Mo is family to Eric and Mary. Stephen will fly from the east coast to get the Traveling Piano truck and my archives and a few personal items very important to me. The two watercolor paintings of me and my pups, my mom's plants having a lineage of a hundred fifty years, a porcelain hummingbird my friend Gertrude gave to me, my collection of crystals, coffee cup... there is not much left of my past life but what there is, I want to live on. I passionately love, cherish and care about everything I own. Some people say possessions mean nothing. Too many possessions turn into things meaning nothing. But, a few can help to sustain life. Those possession that serve for positive memory and feelings most, are most important.

August 03, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

The blog entries have not been consistent for a long while. That is because the journey has not been consistent. The piano for example is not working right now and I am hoping it is because of the heat. And otherwise, I really do not want to deal with it. There have been many periods over the years where the journey took pauses of a few months. That needs to be remembered. My health well, I am getting old and that is a reality. Even though I have not hit seventy yet, I have lived a physically tough life and I cannot abuse my body and mind like I used to. Crazy way to think, eh? If only I would care more about my body than I seem to be able to do. And then there is Mo. Subconsciously I am living with his aging process which is speeding up. The inability for both of us to be more physically active because of the heat helps nothing. But even though I am enjoying his life in every moment with him, I know his inevitable passing weighs heavy on my every moment also. When I look at pictures of Boner, I see our love and joy but also can end up crying and feeling major lose over his passing still so many years after.

August 02, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Should I stay positive for this blog or fake it until I make it, or just say how I've been feeling. Positive is just not where it is at these days. I can do gratitude, that I can do. There is Mo when I focus on his being with me in the moment, the security of this shit hole that I live in, lol... I must say, there are some nice aspects. I love that I live on the strip in Las Vegas and I am not in a suburban shit hole. Although a nice one would work. I love the view of the Stratosphere Motel/Casino out my window just a few blocks away.

I love that I have options in life, that I am smart, aware, a giving person with empathy and compassion... I take none of that for granted. And friends, I have friends even though it does not always feel helpful that I have them. There has been no music or interacting with people in real life. That feels so distant. I've been through periods much longer than now having been away from everything but now... the passion is not ever present even when I am away.

August 01, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I took the Traveling Piano back into the shop today. It over heats to the point of not turning off, it smokes, smells of gas, has issues when starting... it is all just simply depressing. Of course none of the symptoms show for the repair guy. As soon as I got it into the shop the temperatures dropped, humidity came and so all the heat problems just are not there to check. The piano has not worked because of the inverter. I am hoping that is heat related also. There is no incentive to try a different solution, like find money to either get a new truck or completely refurbish this recently refurbished truck. I just had a new engine put in a few months ago and paid out the ass. It is all worse and this is the fourth time in taking it back to the guy. It is not possible to pinpoint a lack of workmanship. Onward...