Raggin' Piano Boogie


HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010

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March 31, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

The truck went back to the shop to correct some work that was not done up to par. It will never reach a satisfactory level anymore. I've given up. After all the money paid, I've just traded off issues and problems the mechanic cannot take care of and God forbid admit that. We had a heated exchange as friends which consisted basically my keeping my cool while he lost it with his whining, denial, complaining, shouting, screaming about other customers to keep me from complaining and refusing to take responsibility for anything. I think that relationship has ended as a result of a lack of respect. And with the difficulty in getting truck parts that work these days... it feels like, I'm done. The only solution would be a complete rebuild from scratch and that is not going to happen unless someone or an entity with money pays for it. So... it is what it is. What is to come will be interesting because I am at the end of my rope. This is not the first time I have lost a lot of money that I do not have. So just... onward.

March 30, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

When the school shooting happened in Nashville my first impulse was to care and do something. And then, I became acutely aware that the second impulse was to use that as a distraction for what is needed for me to do for myself to take care of myself right now. There is really nothing in the present moment I can do about the murders except to take a stand spiritually and mentally. Physically all I can do is post here and online concerning how fucked up republican voters are that they would not push for the strongest gun measures possible to help save lives. I am going through a lot at the moment trying to stay sane and keep going not only physically but with the Traveling Piano. Mo and I took a walk, a long two mile walk on the Las Vegas strip. I would not have been physically able to do that one year ago today, so that is good! Mo's paws got a little raw from the walk due to his age but I know he enjoyed the exercise.

March 29, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

People can be so irritating and irresponsible! Yesterdays blog entry, forget it. I received an email today that basically said, not interested. Then, they insulted my sensibilities with ideas and suggestions that help nothing. Why did they show interest to begin with? Why did they reach out? Why waste so much time acting interested and leaving the situation saying they are going followthrough with their interest? Luckily there was not to much investment into the sham. What hurts and it does hurt, is that I fell for it. it makes me angry when people cannot be direct and upfront, honest. By this time in my life I have been through so many people who put on a false face, who offer something from an impulse that fades as soon as they turn away, who just are bad at communication and clarity, who self-serve every word out of their mouth without consideration of how it will affect others, who just change their minds, you would think I would know better by now? The fact is, every person is an individual and so every spin and delivery of bullshit is as unique as the person... especially when they are good at it. So there is no way to know anything until it happens. Onward...

March 28, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I had a lengthy conversation today with the county public arts office who is showing interest in the Traveling Piano and its work. This is definitely an entity I would be willing to explore a partnership with. Clark County is no small potato and they have a strong hand in government. I felt no resistance with anything I said. Of course I have been down this path before with people showing interest, making offers, etc... without success but something felt different today. It is truly a do or die moment for my current decision making process. Do I move forward, change direction or just stay as is, until I putter out and die. What may be my biggest opportunity to date, this holey moley is crossing my path even to the extent of the Traveling Piano Superbowl Dream. Will I be able to rise to the occasion? How much do I really want this. I feel no wind beneath my wing so it will be all up to me. Ugh. Everything I have worked towards may be directly in front of me. In the meantime lol, a homeless guy in the park wanted to sit and listen to my music while creating a caricature for me. I really felt honored with his respect and appreciation.

March 27, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I would like to not be political on this blog but sometimes standing up for human lives, that is more important. This is a personal blog not a business blog and not maintained for a "sell." The Traveling Piano is about attraction, not promotion. The Presbyterian school in Nashville, Tennessee mostly Republican I can be fairly certain about that, they are all living through the hell of their elementary school mass gun murder today. Fascist republicans in this country want these school shootings and could not care less about children dead or alive unless they are to use in serving their agendas. One agenda is to dismantle education in general through fear as they are doing with books and restricting teachers and administrations. Another and the bottom line, to create for profit-schools only. This... not new, they have been working on it for many years.

Does the name Devos under trump ring a bell? Supporting gun ownership is more important for every republican voter than the lives of their own. If you have voted for any republican politician since 2016, the blood of these children is on your hands. Sad and true. My compassion and empathy goes out for everyone who cares. When this happens, everyone who has been affected in the past relives it in the present. It takes me back to my very first time with the Traveling Piano in Virginia Tech, then Sandy Hook CT, then San Bernardino CA, less than a year ago in Uvalde TX, the Q-club in Colorado Springs, Sacramento CA... I can not be more disgusted with all those who stay silent in public about all this. Actually, the Traveling Piano's relationship with children being gunned down began in 1987, in North Philadelphia through an organization named Save Our Son's and Daughters. This all hurts so bad.

March 26, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

There was a dog event in a local park today where Pawsitive Difference a rescue organization that helps me and Mo, they were setting up. We headed there to support them. I was able to get the Traveling Piano into the park and all setup. We were ready to go, everyone around was thrilled and then I discovered the new battery I was using was dead. I must have not checked when turning it off yesterday, that it was actually off. Mistakes like this cannot happen and I do not trust my clarity of mind anymore. I am going to have to purchase a new inverter to replace the old one that went kaput two weeks ago. That is a sad fact but I can not handle new things to think about, and take on extra steps to do. Then, when leaving the park someone offered to guide me around a tree (always a bad idea, best I do everything myself with the truck) and while doing so the corner of the piano caught on the tree and broke off. It felt like the ripping of a limb off my body. The piano wood is old to begin with. Just another piece of everything falling apart. Hopefully some nails, glue and paint will create some stability. Each hurdle becomes more difficult to negotiate. It is what it is. Coulda, woulda, shouda been a fun day. It was, we both got out, hung around people, I made a good dinner for myself, we went for a walk, I watched some tv.

March 25, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

While feeling like an old wanna be angry bear, I sat in my chair organizing files so I can find what I need when needed. An email came through from a women I met in a park last week who was with a church group sharing dinners with the homeless there. "Hey Danny, we are at the park can you come play some music?" Fuck. I'm thinking... should I ignore it so the request does not start coming every week and because I feel too shitty to go out and play? That was not the way life works. I knew I did not want to be feeling as I was and that the only answer was to get to work with the Traveling Piano. Sometimes I think it would be nice if there we're other choices but then again, not really. I got my act together and went. Once there, I nicely reminded her that it was not going to happen every week. It felt like some of the other church members were not so happy to see me as it threw a wrench into their process? I just kept a look out for the cops as I was inside the park with the truck on a sidewalk. It was all good. Those homeless always enjoy seeing us for a distraction factor from the norm if for nothing else.

March 24, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

It was not until afternoon when I woke up. The sleep must have been needed especially in seeing I needed some ibuprofen first thing. Still, I beat myself up all day over anything I could. This, just pulverize my lack of worth and self respect. It happens from time to time while I just move through it all. Mo and I took the public bus down the strip. For anyone visiting Las Vegas, that in of itself is an experience. People from all walks of life, tourists and homeless people changing their clothes, old people like myself, families, every ethnicity you can imagine with an amazing amount of personal eccentricities, many bus first timers... all packed closely with each other trying to keep to themselves, be friendly cordial and behaved. The feeling for me was not for the sake of being all that but to not set anyone off who might be crazy and who might create a mass murder chaos situation. Everyone just wants to get along in this world, that I am sure of.

March 23, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I drove around the block to park on Main Street and play some. The battery has been on the same charge for almost a week! It has only dropped thirty percent. That is just unbelievable that this battery I purchased a few years ago will power both the piano and amp. Very soon I may just dump the two boat batteries, inverter and all the wiring to the truck battery that I have been using for the last thirty six years. Lol, thirty six years on this truck! At first there was no one around. That is usually the way for the first ten minutes. And then we began to meet people always one-on-one, never a crowd hanging around because they see I am involved with whomever is present. It is like... he's busy, he's doing something... which I am. I was reminded once again how the Traveling Piano experience is like a fun musical amusement ride for many people.

March 22, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

We headed out to Lake Mead. Now is the time before the sun becomes too strong and the heat becomes unbearable. There is a spot where Mo and I have never hiked because it has been just too barren and dry. Today, grass was growing, the flowers are beginning to bloom. At first I could barely climb over the stones. My balance and strength... just, ugh! We found a place to sit and meditate. At the end of the meditation, I began envisioning Mo's passing and began to totally lose it while thinking, please do not make me go through this.

Then Mo got up and in my face with a direct... I am right here! That brought me back into the present moment. We got up and found flat terrain to walk on and that was much easier. With the green starting, it is just going to bloom like wild in another week! Speaking of... a wild horse came charging towards us while the mate stayed in the background. Did not know if it was going to be friendly or not so I called out loud and strong for Mo (he's getting hard of hearing) and the horse stopped suddenly, turned around and walked away dejectedly, for real! It had become wary.

March 21, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I was going to write that this journey is winding down and then really, I do not know what that means. Winding down to what? Will whatever take ten years, five, one, a month? The inertia is becoming less and less. If I lost some weight, that would help. If I wrote and printed a damm info sheet and pitch that I've been putting off for over a half year... that would help. If I actively pursued something newer and bigger, someone to work with, that would help. If I choose to stop thinking negatively, that would help. (doing my best with that) The truth is, I have no idea what is in store for me in any way, shape or form. There are some dreams it is becoming time to let go of. To just let go of what, I am not sure. To totally let go can help. Like for example the Traveling Piano legacy. If it be, it be. If someone steals my identity, oh well. (that has been happening) My desire to clone Mo and use his offspring as the first cloned dog for the entertainment industry, lol... like the superbowl for next year... having a nice place to live... creating a one of a kind transformer like Traveling Piano and giving it to the world... taking the Traveling Piano to the Ukraine... having an app, selling my photos, music, branding, merchandising... travel doing what I do like I have done in an easier fashion... getting enough validation, reassurance, incentive, inspiration, desire, tools to continue. That last part I know can come from no one but myself.

March 20, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I said to Mo, lets go to Redrock Canyon for a walk. Silence was needed and it has been a while since being in nature. We must take advantage of the weather before it gets hot. Once there I realized I forgot to let him pee and poop before we left. He was going crazy. At first I thought it was enthusiasm. Then I realized that might not be what was going on. I pulled over to the side of the road and let him go. There was practically no pee which was curious. We got to our spot and began to walk. About a quarter mile in I realized I forgot my camera. There we're some beautiful shots to be had. Decisions, decisions. Meanwhile Mo was trying to poop... allot, but there was nothing left. I decided to walk back to get the camera while thinking also that I had left the camera on the trucks dashboard, not good for potential theft. Walking felt difficult for me physically but I wanted to push myself.

On the way back Mo was stopping ever few steps to try and poop. Something was off. At the truck he drank some water. We went to start again but his poop situation got worse. I tried to study him. I could see no pain and it looked like he wanted to continue. What, trying to poop? It was best to drive home. The entire issue was unsettling. It took the wind out of my sails for the rest of the day. He seemed ok. Before bed we went for a walk. All seemed ok. When I look back there could have been several things happening. First, maybe it was a senile moment. He had become fixated on not pooping in the truck and now fixated on trying to poop? Maybe the horse shit on the trail was doing it but I doubt that because we have been have been walking in horse shit on trails a thousand times before. Maybe the Universe was working through Mo saying it was too much for me to walk today.

I had meditated earlier and so know from past experience I was in a "cared for" zone. Some people would call all that mumbo jumbo and say I think too much. Ideas like that we're indoctrinated into me strongly as a child whenever I thought, questioned, explored or tried to find solutions on my own. Now, I now better. This part of my nature has been responsible for my survival. It has not made me who I am, it in fact is who I am. Those who know me and also who have read this blog over the years see clearly that the miraculous and amazing life events that have happened... they are all a result of deep analyzation, thoughtfulness, belief and faith... from the inside out. If for no other reason maybe what happened is a reminder to prepare for Mo's passing. Ever since he was a pup when uncertainty about the matter has come up, feelings of utter indescribable emptiness and separation happen.

March 19, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

It was rainy and cold today. That forces me to change modes. I would have pushed myself to take out the Traveling Piano and it would have been too much for me physically. There is so much to do without the truck and it always feels like I get so little done. (even though I know that is not true) This week I will not read the news, a very difficult thing to do. What will happen politically may very will create a stir I need to just keep out of. Everything concerning it is out of my control and I have learned form past experience to stay out of the way for the outcome of my choosing and just let God/Universe handle it. What I should have done today is go into the desert rain or not. Without the sun concerning heat, me and Mo with our age and physical abilities and... no tourists, good photos, it would have been a perfect time to explore.

March 18, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Every day that it is sunny and the temperature good, I need to get out with the truck. I thought going to a local park where I could double the agenda in a walk for Mo and myself would be good too. After creating some music for myself which always feels good, a women came over from a church group serving dinner in the park for those living on the streets. She had seen me on television a few months back and so I was a celebrity to her. I have been to this park before. The church group that used to frequent the place, they we're hard core, authoritarian bible thumbers which I wanted nothing to do with. This lady was easy going, friendly and spontaneous. She suggested I drive the truck in to where they we're. That was chancy concerning the police but I could not resist the spontaneity and also I thought we would all share the blame, lol. It had to happen because it is not often I find a "like" group of people so easy going, open and enjoying what they do with their mission.

Of course we all had a Traveling Piano experience. Then they needed to go soon after but had food left offer. The piano man said, "give it to me"! With a mixture of "ugh and oh, joy" ...the first because a part of me does not want to get started in doing that kind of outreach again... the second part because sharing food with people on the streets and in the alleys is totally full of passion and purpose and fun. It just had to be done. I thought about getting water, but told myself, no. Don't get started. I had about 30 meals with donuts and bread to take out with me. Of course it was appreciated and went fast. For those new to this blog, for the last six years I've filled the Traveling Piano truck up often and overflowing with food and resources while sharing it all on the streets in Las Vegas. I specialize in those lost, too sick or mental to get to resources, usually those on their own often just laying on the ground. I care about stray people the way others care about stray dogs. I mean, seriously... think about that.

March 17, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I was cleaning out the truck on the street today and a guy in a car stopped behind me saying there was an opening of a restaurant addition up the street, could I stop by. I knew the restaurant as they had contributed to the Traveling Piano Christmas Candy Fundraiser. I was talking to the father of one of the partner owners. So, of course! Once there, it was in an alley, I could see there was going to be conflict as the restaurants general manager had ideas already set in place and the Traveling Piano with its stop/start music and interactions would not create the focus (or ambience) the place was looking for. Dad with the money was having his fun with his own ideas and I was not going to add to any dynamics of chaos. So, I pulled out of the ally and parked on the street nearby in front of his other two establishments. The guy was loaded, influential and showy with his wealth. As difficult as it was I said I wanted to talk with him about some ideas I have for investment with the Traveling Piano.

Ha, negotiating situations like that are never easy. He was in a crazy mindset and said he would call me. As an insider in Downtown Las Vegas he has seen me before. I made it clear my being there was a gift and gave him an idea of my worth which was substantially more than his dinner offer. I told him I was not going to chase him down. I'll call you, "I'll call you, he said." Fat Chance, LOL. I am no good at, and have no energy to chase down potential opportunities at this point of my life. Mo and I had super fun on the street as it is St. Patricks Day and everyone was in a celebratory mode and drinking of course. It took me back to almost fifty years ago when resturants and bars would pay me top dollar to play piano and sing songs for St. Patricks day. No amount on money was worth it. But, back then that was my living and also. I did not want to feel left out of being hired on a day where if you we're a gigging musician... you needed a job to show it.

March 16, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

A little relief, a ray of light. I have an expensive rechargeable battery purchased when I had some money. It is to use as an emergency if needed while traveling. I've never used it and was afraid it might not even have a charge or be chargeable any more. A new power inventor has been needed for the piano and sound system, this just after the truck getting repaired. That would be about $500 and the hassle of finding one and getting it installed. I looked are the battery to see it can only hold half the wattage of the piano speaker but I thought I would try it anyway. It has an emergency shut off if strained too much. Well, it worked perfectly! Not only that... I played straight through for forty minutes which used only 5%!!! This may be the way to go permanently. No more boat batteries at a couple hundred a shot, (need to purchase two everytime) everything running through the truck battery, the need for an inverter and isolator, the wires, etc...

Creating music felt so good. I can really speak clearly through my music at least I did so today. It is incredible to do and to feel so good about it, satisfied and to know my music is as good as music can get. When looking back over my entire life until this journey, I think... everything in its time. For me it took fifty years! The building behind me as a new prostitution ring happening. One of the young girls visiting from Miami came over. She was totally amazed. It felt good to share some respect with her through the music. And then from across the street on the other side... an older woman I've not seen in four years who used to volunteer at a local food bank where I played walked over. Her energy was full of poignancy as she handed me a twenty. She is leaving the area. In a very moving way she thanked me for my music. It was like a goodbye for her and so synchronistic that I would appear so randomly for her before leaving.

March 15, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I've not been on social media very much. Something like 90% less than a month ago. Usually, I go onto Facebook and while there... to Instagram and then Mastodon to post about this journey. Along with my internet being irritatingly slow, my not wanting to see anything from postings that will set me off in a negative way and Facebook not allowing me to post most of the time or get into my messenger anymore...it is like, fuck it all. I cannot update my computer browser to satisfy Facebook and so the system is simply allowing me to disappear. Just like when GoFundMe screwed me over with money, Facebook is doing it with my social life. It is my choice really. I could go buy a new computer or use my phone as most other people now do. Not interested. So, I will just drift away. Just look at how few people actually call each other on the phone or correspond via email. Texting is still a thing but not with general friends. All relating for friends in general is via social networks. How will I continue to get the word out about the Traveling Piano? I'll lose the audience built up through the years! But, everyone can still find me here and they know that. And I know that for most people... it will just not be convenient enough to leave their social networks to come here.

March 14, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mo is my saving grace. Really, totally... to wake up with him, to know he is with me, wants to be with me, to go to bed with him, his companionship through the day, getting me to exercise everyday because he needs a walk... when it is time for him to pass from this life I want to be happy for having been in existence with him. Becoming depressed is not an easy task with Mo in my life. When I begin to lose control with hate and anger, insecurity, frustration I just go lay with him to ground me in what is most important... the safety and security we share in each other, the gratitude, beauty, appreciation and simply to enjoy the present moment together for all it is worth.

March 13, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I woke up to my self-centeredness today. With a couple of friends, we have a friend contract to check up on each other every day or two. With not wanting to answer my phone to make them need me more because I am so pathetic (lol) I thought, these people in my life are going through hell and I need to call them to show support and care. It can never be all about me nor to I want it to be. There is no need for me to call them and whine. I can simply call to say I'm connecting, or maybe talk about what is going on with them. I've been thinking for the last week how most people seem happier than myself these days. It has been sometimes almost shocking how people respond when we connect eye to eye. More than usual, people randomly smile at me, say hello, want to interact as if they recognize or know me. And it definitely is not about Mo. Then I thought, maybe this is spirit, God or whatever reminding me to stay positive and know I have worth, am valued and appreciated. I've always known for myself that God speaks through other people.

March 12, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I've been barely holding on. When I feel like no one cares I don't answer the phone to prove no one cares. How fucked up is that? Thank God it never takes hold for long. I have a life history of working on myself to not act out the thoughts and feelings of self loathing failure I live with all the time. I also want to blame the world when I am not active and for the fact that I must do the work to live in the most basic of ways. There is no one to push me (not that I'd allow that) no obligation to keep me going (definitely do not want that) no expectations (few people have ever had any), no one to make me want to do anything. (well, there is Mo, he makes me want to keep him happy and cared for)

March 11, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I was stopped at a red light and the guy next to me beeped and rolled down his window. "Yo, its great to see you, remember me?" He had asked the apartment manager to let him into my complex three years ago to come up to my place, knock on the door and give me a contribution. I have no recollection of it what-so-ever and that be very strange! But, it happened because he gave undeniable details. "You would not believe how many people I have told about you" he said. It feels good having the truck back and being out and about. Although, today I said, "no truck work." My energy is low and my body aching from the other day. It also feels good to have recent photos to post as there is an inner need to prove I'm still working everyday to others. Ugh, it always feels like I am doing Traveling Piano work less and less but when I look back it has always been more and more.

March 10, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I only try to impress myself in life in ways to stay interested in life. And also, to rewrite the story of the life given to me as a child by my parents and society. The base of that story says I am only capable of what I am told by others. It all was totally restrictive, limiting and had not an ounce of my own creativity or desires. My life has been a contrast of feeling both capable and not. To write my own story side by side with what was ingrained has been "the" mighty challenge. My siblings could not write their own stories as they felt they had no choice. I had no choice but to rip myself away from it all and create my own struggles in life. I used to think that I was lucky being the last child and having my sister die a crib death as an infant. I used to think my parents were easier on me than the others as a result. Now I realize that through the grace of God it was my being able to stand up for myself. My parents accepted all their children equally for who they were and the life they led. So, now on with my story for the future...

March 09, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mo and I drove down to the gutter area of homeless people. I wanted to create music for my peeps. Not having food or blankets or anything as usual to give out I had to tell myself the friendship and music would be enough. Of course it was. Most of the people I knew are now gone. The place really is disgusting and on some levels I have had enough from the last seven years. There are more homeless than ever before. Of course that is no surprise, eh? Spirit reminded me that these are people, they are sick and suffering, lonely and desperate for some reassurance of worth. When I took a picture of one guy it was clear he just wanted to be seen. I drove around the block to find a not so scummy area and then I thought... you just need to dive in. There was a little fear and I thought, "What is this about?" Maybe it is my age creating that.

I am glad we stopped where we did right in the center of the muck. You would not believe the validation people send my way. And the Traveling Piano brings back feelings and memories for people. It just makes them cry. Trust allows them to do that in my presence. "My mom used to play" "We had an upright piano in our house when I was young" "Thanks for letting me pet your dog, I miss mine so much." Someone came up to offer some soda. Everytime I would go to leave even with Mo in the truck ready to go, someone would come up... "Can I play"? They are bored, feel useless, helpless and then there are also always those lost in "working it" as in life for survival. One must always watch their back in situations like today. As I leaving all throughout the street people would thank me for being there.

March 08, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

After a few hours on the phone trying to straighten out legal crap I took the Traveling Piano around the corner to a pizza shop on the strip where the owners (a brother and sister) and I are sort of friends. The music I create just gets stronger and stronger with intent as time goes on. It is impressive only in the feeling it gives people, not the technicalities of playing which have been getting weaker and weaker. A few neighbors came by, of course people walking the streets and two people staying in a hostel up the street from Spain and China. With my writing over the last few days about the Ukraine I am reminded how not having a comment section on this blog is a good idea. At the start I had wanted it. Now in todays world and knowing about fifty different spins that have gone down with different opinions and thoughts about my ideas, who I am, what I am about, yea... I don't want to hear any comments, lol. Most people read this blog as voyeurs in a sense, anyway. People read into me in the ways they want to see me. Sometimes, it is uncomfortable for them I know this and don't want to take any of it on for myself. And then there are those who think I am just crazy while blind to all I have accomplished through what they perceive as crazy.

March 07, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I had to take the truck back to the repair shop today. I told my mechanic Chris that if the engine cuts off and dies while I am driving somewhere, I will not kill him, I will kill myself so I never have to deal with anything like the Traveling Piano truck engine again and he can live with that fact. Mo and I also stopped at a local non-profit that has had some experience in shipping resources on a cargo plane from Las Vegas to the Ukraine to see what info I can garner about that, like the name of the company, etc... Then we ended up in a park on the western end of Las Vegas that was like another world. The area was completely domesticated lol, as in upscale, uniform, clean, content people with their children, quiet, secure, peaceful... any dark corners in the community were certainly not visible. I thought, could I live my days in a place like this? And then I tried to imagine spending the rest of my days in a devastated war zone. Having been over the years to many devastated communities I think fire was the worst, more so than tornados, floods, massacres... a war zone would be worse than all of it put together. Would I choose this in order to live out my life's passion in a way greater than ever before? Probably not. Maybe. Am I just using this Ukraine issue to distract myself from myself for some reason?

March 06, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

There is still an impulse happening about Ukraine. I had an impulse about a month and a half ago that I did not act on, that was the first time ever. Still. I just let the thoughts flow and observe. Mo and I went over to our friends Mary and Eric. Mary has been very sick, I mean seriously sick. Eric washed my clothes for me. His whole purpose in life is to be helpful. I went through stuff of mine stored in his garage, things that I removed from the Traveling Piano truck before taking in it for repair. If I did something like go to the Ukraine with the Traveling Piano, I would be forcing myself to live life, my last hoorah so to speak in a meaningful way. It would put me into survival mode where I would have no choice but to stick to basics with my purpose in life through music and how I present myself and to play it out all out in true faith. Mo is my priority, I'd never let him leave my side or put him in a space of fear for himself. Spirit has an enormous ability to adjust to physical needs. My mother had always said, "you are going to do something big." I've often wondered if I'm doing it presently, I'm over the hill with it many times over in general with the Traveling Piano. Maybe... this (Ukraine) would be the "big."

March 05, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mo and I went to the park to clean the truck some and to create music. We we're pretty much left alone which is what I needed. We have not been out with the truck for ourselves since it had gone into the repair shop a month ago. It was a little cold today. We had a good walk. I have been thinking about what I do not want in life. Working for the "money" again... well their was always an illusion behind that. What I had really worked for was self-respect and respect from others through money. Money helped to create a veil of self-respect for myself. I now know that true self-respect comes from sharing my life with others... without agenda. Another thing I do not want is to get sucked into the new artificial intelligence becoming unleashed in the internet world. Artificial intelligence will soon become the actual internet to direct, control and manipulate the human mind. Thats not going to happen to me and the only way to do that would be to remove myself from it all before it begins. So, using the internet to dissertate reality as to what is present, what there is to enjoy, create, what exists in the world, the news, etc... forget it. I see everything becoming a blur on the internet and it is by design for self-serving profit.

March 04, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

Ukraine is on my mind all the time for reasons I've already written about. Today I thought, it will cost about three grand to get the truck repainted and it would cost less than that to ship it on a cargo plane to Europe. If I took the Traveling Piano to Ukraine having it look spiffy and shiny would be a none issue. And... it is time to up my game concerning this journey. I could spent the next year floundering and also doing what I've been doing for so many years. I'm feeling like that is all burning out. I could push for the superbowl dream and go back to making money with sponsorship, create artist residencies where there would be obligation and expectation once again for others. Or, stick with my true passions, to validate and reassure the worth of humanity, to empower and inspire, to show courage and strength, to nurture and care for but that would need to be on a larger level for me personally. Something that would necessitate change and what life has to offer for me in order to grow in the ways that satisfy my personal intent in life, through music.

March 03, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I woke up feeling like I was going to throw up with a headache. I took some Ibuprofen and then sat on the toilet thinking about how God wants for me to show how beautiful I am in the world and that I must feel as vibrant as possible for myself for myself. Going to get the truck back today just means this all is going to continue and it is very unnerving. Should it be continuing? Got my coffee, my friend Eric picked me up to take me to get the Traveling Piano from the shop. Mo could not wait to jump back into his den, (the cab) and then to jump onto the piano. I had to help give him a lift as he had not jumped in a while. Chris, the mechanic had his whole family there including his mother. He wanted everyone to see and experience the Traveling Piano. I appreciate how he worked so very hard on the truck.

All that was repaired is listed below. It cost $8,300 which really makes me sick as I need to raise that money to pay for it. I just hope I did the right thing but it did in fact need a new engine right away along with all that other stuff. Having the truck is probably more important than a place to live. It was the downtown First Friday Event here in Las Vegas, so I drove to the street and parked near my new friend Joycelin's place. She owns a crystal shop. People really have a visceral experience to my music when I play. They feel the beauty of it strongly. It is so very personally satisfying to know that. So, it all began again... the music, people, exchanges, sharing... I knew when to stop and not push the energy too much.

March 02, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

I feel unbelievably lost. There is minimal clarity about every day tasks. Most people I talk with feel the same for themselves. The world really is in turmoil. I've cut off about 90% of my news reading online. That has been pretty much a miracle to be able to do. I just become so angry almost instantly and can also catch myself when I begin to just keep going back repeatedly over and over to the same news sites expecting something new or the next big horrible thing to happen. But, what is making me close down most is the idiot people that make comments and worse the news writers. Hardly anyone simply reports the news objectively anymore. There is so much personal insinuation, projection, opinion, guessing, applying question, motives, intent and agendas to the most ridiculous topics. Like... "so and so lifted their arms to pick their nose, I wonder if it was because their mother died." Seriously, that kind of example is not so far off from the reality of what I see online these days. I'm done with it. My social platform postings are suffering as a result. So be it. People will eventually forget that I ever existed once I die. So does it matter if they forget while I am still living?

March 01, 2023

Las Vegas, Nevada

So, I'll be picking up the truck soon. It will cost bigtime. The suspension was checked along with the brakes, the rear shoes we're cleaned and adjusted, some of the electrical wiring was repaired, checked tire pressure, the window regulators we're greased and lubed on both doors, everything checked for leaks, the engine was removed and replaced with a re-manufactured engine, the cuburetor was overhauled the kit for that, transmission and fluid serviced, headlights replaced, new side mirrors, the tailgate handle was replaced, a new catalytic convertor and pipe was cut and welded on, new exuast pipe, the drivers door latch was replaced and the window handles we're replaced, new thermostat seal, radiator hose, coolent hose, a new clutch, oil filter, exaust manifold, water pump, oil pan, spark plugs, fuel pump, water outlet gasket, fuel pump in-line and pump spacer, oil... and of course all the labor.