HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010
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September 30, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I felt pretty good today because I was doing something different! I met Horacio and Kirell with the Traveling Piano yesterday while at Red Rock and they interviewed me today for a project they are creating cross country called 2020 Americans Portraits and Voices of a Nation. The interview was going to happen at Red Rock but we ended up in Mt. Charleston. The truck made it there but does not work well in the heat. Just spending sometime with new people was refreshing. On film I talked as personal as it can get about myself and my past, growing up, my process of maturing emotionally, etc... It felt right and good, it is the first time some of my personal life has every been recorded. There is nothing that I have to say about myself and my life hat I am uncomfortable with. The change of scenery was also great. Feeling cool air that I can breath in deep was awesome. The yellow fall flowers are blooming. I want to be so busy doing something new all the time that I do not care about what is going on with the environment, trump, the virus and humanity. I ditched my protective mask when we were together. Constant awareness and... it just dawned on me in this moment that I need to think about what I can do in this present life situation verses focusing on what I cannot do and trying to work with that negative focus to find ways. Acceptance has something to do with all that.
September 29, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I felt driven to visit Red Rock Canyon today and take in some nature with Mo. The park will close an hour earlier for the year beginning October first and I never get there until near closing. When we go hiking now it is to find a nice place to nap! Lol, so we did just that. Mo burrowed a hole for himself in the sand and I found a smooth rock in the shade in between humongous rock formations. The sky was as blue as could be and air temperature perfect. We laid and rested, I cleared my mind in total silence. It was true heaven, especially with Mo along side of me. Then, I drove to create some music at the overlook and ran into two guys from Los Angeles on a road trip with a film project. I let one of the guys hold my camera to shoot some video for me... virus boundaries and limits... ugh, but I did mention the wearing of masks while we were talking. They filmed a lot of me and I looked like shit, lol. The one guy was from Panama and the other from Russia. After they left Mo and I again sat in silence, in the dark with the stars beginning to shine. It got cool enough to put a light jacket on and after all the heat... what a relief! The piano was very difficult to play on. Sometimes it is ok and then other times... what a pain in the ass. And I can't replace it for a few more months because the only one I can use for the truck is not yet in production because of marketing manipulation. It felt very good being in nature today.
September 28, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I had a rough last twenty four hours in falling down the rabbit hole of anger and hate and frustration. My anger was triggered by the simplest of things like getting up too late in the day yesterday. Lol, thats part of my disease of alcoholism calling to me to just self-destruct. With thirty-eight years of healing from the disease ever present I know stuff like this. As you would read in this blog I have been using my not getting up early enough for this entire journey on a regular basis. It is what it is. Sometimes I have no control over my brains direction. Even prayer and meditation does not help. I need to just go through the chaos of... me. Anyway, I grabbed on to the flow of disease online by tearing into people justifying self- centered response ability over the worlds state. It is what it is. Could not get to bed until ten in the morning, got up at five in the afternoon, felt better, went to the supermarket, took it easy, came home and made some chicken soup and thank God... Mo is with me... he keeps me present, in love, full of gratitude and gives me a feeling of security and consistency. Also, I wrote a hello and thank you to two consistent contributors. I'll be doing that with the rest of them, a few a day. Twenty five people keep me going with contribution to this journey. It equals less than 50% of my bills and at the same time I it is not about that at all. They help sustain my love for the world in every way through their care, support, validation and vote of confidence in me..
September 27, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
While out on the streets doing my thing with sharing water and Gatorade through the Traveling Piano I came across a couple getting. There are always people getting married here in Las Vegas, it is a thing to do in chapels and through the city. I'm pretty sure that a lot of places are set up for money laundering much like psychic storefronts back east in the 70's and 80's. Anyway, I thought I was drawn to this specific couple because of the dress the woman was wearing, it was crazy almost funny to me and they both looked so sharp and slick. I had to get a photo. But once I got close I experienced a strong energy of love and respect and two people just celebrating a union with each other. It was very special. They were full a maturing youth and thats the energy I was being drawn to. When I saw the photo I realized they were wearing masks and that just another "tell" that this was a couple that cares in life for life in of itself. Later online I began to look for sources for food to hand out onto the streets. Max from McKee's ranch was great for a while but he has moved onto other interests. The original spots, the Rescue Mission, the food bank at Veterans Village and other places where I used to play with the Traveling Piano... the pandemic has stopped all that.
September 26, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
My energy is low. We needed to get out into some nature. It is smoky, hurts my eyes, breathing deep well, just breathing deep. We drove to Calico Basin. It is so beautiful there. I forgot it is Saturday, there were people around, it was sunset and I wanted to create a short music video which did not come out well. The people around were in awe of the music... I was in frustration with them being there, I do not know how to act and cope with the virus and deal with my anger concerning those who do not care. The music silenced a group of about eight young children. It was absolutely awesome to bring them into a silent space with single quiet notes. They were behind me and we never saw each other. Mo and I went for a walk. I did not take my camera because I didn't have the energy but I should have. The colors I experienced I've never seen before, somewhere in the orange, red, blue, magenta, brown spectrums, it was amazing. Mo was in his heaven. We did not walk too much, it was getting dark, we are both older and out of shape from the last few months of... whatever. I'm glad we got out, created some music, took a short hike, got into some nature and created some music for people.
September 25, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Keeping as much water and gatorade as possible in my room forces me to deal with it as in consistently working to give it out because I have no room to store anything in my room even a bottle of water. The air being smokey from wildfires and the heat... going out to enjoy nature would not be so enjoyable these days. So I take advantage of what is possible and just work on the streets with my homeless friends. As I hand out cold liquid, whenever anyone asks about music, I just say, yes! Well, actually I did say no twice today but I also created music for people on three separate occasions. One guy told me, "my eyes leaked some water when you were playing." As I drive down the streets, homeless people randomly call out, "god bless you" just to let me know that they know who I am and to show appreciation.
You would not believe what it is like to connect with what appears on the outside... the worst looking, slimy, drug addict, wild, young thief suffering in desperation and to experience only appreciation, care and respect. It happens through trust. It happens through a lack of ego. It happens in gratitude. It is all about relationship. There is no feeling of need or desperation when connecting with people, none at all. Really, we all just have short moments of nothing but love. When I pass out water to three or more in a group there is a feeling of community. Everyone enjoying a cold bottle of water together in a group, it becomes more significant. Before the sun went down Mo and I stopped by the Peddlers Antique Mall on Main Street in Downtown Las Vegas to share our love and create some Traveling Piano music. Owners, Sara and her husband are friends of the Traveling Piano.
September 24, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Music is much more healing for many people than I can grasp emotionally. Mo and I were out on the streets creating music for those living on the streets today and several people just pleaded for us to stay for as long as possible. They said the music was soothing and real and helped them to feel some love from us. This, as a result of all those who have contributed to help us continue onward through the recent repair of the Traveling Piano. Thank You. About four cases of gatorade and water also went out onto the streets and when I was done both Mo and I felt exhausted! I've been waiting for the air to get better in order to spend some time in nature and as well the hundred degrees temperatures... I've had enough!
September 23, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Todd delivered water to be distributed today. As I said before, he purchases water, takes off the labels and replaces them with bible verse. I take them, refriderate and then distribute with the Traveling Piano. I call it holy water. It helps some people others just toss the bottles away. Either way, we are both different people with different ideologies, I am sure he is a trump supporter but smart enough to stay off the topic unlike Max who recently began to blow me off. (which I am thankful for) Todd and I hung out in my small room and talked, got to know each other a little better. We are both in agreement that we can be very oppossing people in thought but being able to connect in a symbiotic relationship concerning something mutally good... is very good.
September 22, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
200,000 people are dead here in the USA alone. 7,000,000 infected. People are dying as I write this with many more to come as a result of those with their heads up their ass saying, "I won't die" and negating the fact they will easily kill another person in the same ways people used to get sick with the flu. And this, not not main news of the day. If you are out in public wear a mask. Do not congregate in groups of people, especially indoors. Avoid crowds! Do not objectify human life, neighbor. Navigating all this with the Traveling Piano and its work is excruciating.
I am constantly drawing my boundaries with it all while trying to stay in the flow of spiritual response ability while fighting off the fatigue of isolation and quarantine as needed and trying to stay conscious of not hating people who do not care, are in denial or a state of rationalization for the sake of self-centered entitlement and need of immediate gratification. The worst, all the "I'm ok, the hell with everyone else people." No... the worst is people in my environment with the Traveling Piano and my not including and embracing them totally as has been for the last fifteen years because... I care.
September 21, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I am still cataloguing printed nature photos to matt and frame and sell. Also, there is the going through all the music I have recorded through the years, then there is work online, taking Mo out daily, doing my work with the homeless, I've been watching television shows, actually binging on Veep, all the episodes because that is a comedy and funny correlates with fun. Living in the present moment with acceptance can be really difficult especially when I reminisce on the past or try and project into the future. When I try to project the future... nothing gets done. Musical Fun, Friendship and Respect... Empowerment and Inspiration... Love of Mo and Nature... the Legacy of my Work... Appreciation and Gratitude for the People Who Care About and Love Me and as well, Mo... Awareness that I Presently have Security with Bills Paid, a Working Vehicle, Food and a Roof Over My Head... these are My Favorite Things. (like the song, lol)
September 20, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
My friends Eric and Mary had Mo and I over for dinner and a dip in their pool while sister Betty grilled a rib-eye steak to eat and die for. I was given an amazing chocolate cake to take home all to celebrate the successful end of the Traveling Piano Fundraiser. When I was leaving they surprised me with 10 cases of 20oz Gatorade that I will refrigerate to give out to people living on the streets downtown where I live with the Traveling Piano. (It has been over a 100 degrees everyday) Then... a new neighbor helped me carry it all upstairs and into my room and offered to go out on the streets with me to distribute it all. Good Day!
September 19, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I should not be going outside but I just cannot help myself. Mo and I drove to the Red Rock canyon overlook before the sun set and it was very smokey from the wild fires. I created music anyway sucking in all the smoke through my mask. Mo was affected but not as much as I. It felt good to create some music for myself and as well the people that were around. I had a conversation with two both interested in how I create music and how they can do it for themselves. So I did some of my usual as if they were on the piano seat themselves. its awkward and frustrating. I only talk to people with masks. There was a wedding happening up on the hill and I would have engaged with them except for the fact that it was like sixty people and one person wearing a mask. Ain't gonna happen. Not many people with masks on, the roads are packed everyone returning to what they think is normal. Idiots. My wearing sunglasses and a mask keeps them away from me. Once I get talking it is difficult to stop, I am Traveling Piano action craved. I came home covered in the smell of smoke and the grind of it. As the night moves on I am feeling it in my system throughout not just the respiratory part.
September 18, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I feel a need to get out and work. My friend Eric who used to volunteer at the mission when I played there has been a constant supporter without my asking financially. He always had treats for Mo. His wife Mary has never met me and her sister Barbara lives with them. They are originally from Boston and moved to Vegas to retire. drove to surprise them with a Traveling Piano visit. I went to purchase $30 worth of gas first. But I am so out of it I forgot to fill the tank and the next person in line took my gas after I left. While driving on the road then miles away I realized what happened, went back, it was too late, nothing I could do about it. Smoke is really rolling and and I almost turned around to go back while driving because it is dangerously thick. In just pushing on, Mo and I setup up outside their house and tried to draw them out with music while I was live on facebook as Eric is usually on it and I wanted him to discover me outside his house on facebook. Lol, it didn't work so I ran up and rang the door bell and then jumped back onto the piano and they all came out. It was getting dark and they were in the middle of doing things so we did not stay long.
September 17, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
The fundraiser ended today and I reached goal. I feel numb, it was a lot of work. I am so thankful. I have the truck now because of it. I can replace the piano and hopefully get this computer updated. Friends have given me a gift through this fundraiser worth more than money for Traveling Piano repair needs. That gift... trust. It has become very clear that people love, appreciate and respect me personally as well as my work. People want to see me succeed in life not just because of my work but also because of who I am as a person... my values, intent, passion and commitment, empathy, compassion and desire to share what I have to offer for the world. I thank you for giving me the ability to trust you... through your trust of me. That has been a difficult issue for me since I was born. Thank you! With humility and gratitude, Mo and I will move forward in doing what we do. Thirty three years of working full time with a piano in the back of the same pickup truck! Amazing and only through the support of individuals like you. Sharing our validation, the worth of being a human being and resources for those living on the streets along with Musical Fun, Friendship and Respect with Empowerment and Inspiration... Onward!
September 16, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I posted on facebook... It took many years for me to get rid of thoughts concerning obligation and expectation and as well projecting why people do and do not contribute. There are as many reasons as their are people under the sun. Finally, for this last Facebook Fundraiser ever... I've achieved success on those matters... and it has come through the trust of friends... trusting in my intent. I am so happy as a result. With all my friends who have contributed and more than once... thank you... thank you... thank you! Here is an interesting tidbit about me with less than $200 to goal and 10 hours to go. I was raised as strong as possible, indoctrinated even... through fear of being inappropriate, humiliated and rejected... to NEVER, ever ask for help or contribution for support in life. That to do that was a sign of weakness, self-centered, needy and lazy as I should do it all on my own. Guess I failed with that lesson, eh? GOOD THING! As a result of asking for support in all ways I have been able to help support the world! Contribute! The time is almost over for this final Traveling Piano Fundraiser ever.
September 15, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
The new auto repair shop I was trusting to checkout the Traveling Piano engine, put new shocks on it, etc... they said I would have to wait a week with an appointment because they were busy. I said no problem as long as you do the work on it the day you choose for me to bring it in. No way am I going to go through again what I went through at the other place for over a month! So, I waited a week, called a few days before to check that the appointment was still set and the parts were ordered to be ready and then took the truck in. They did not do it that day. They did not do it the second day. here we go again... not. I went and took it out of there without any work having been done. Damm... I want to trust people. It amazes me always how many people do not follow through personally or in business with what they commit to. In my entire life I think I messed up, not on purpose, no more than five times ever in not following through with what I say I will do!
That is sixty-five years of commitment! It is a matter of respect! I sort of had an inkling about these people, not my kind. No one wore a mask around customers or in the office. They are in with the city "old boys" network here in Las Vegas and I have no interest in playing their game to be "one of." I have never played that game in life even to benefit financially or otherwise. It is too much work and not worth the dishonestly needed. I think they found out who I am and what I am about... and that I am not a trump-sucking ass type. Therefore they were just pushing me off to prioritize "more important" customers. Fuck that, lol! I am so glad I have a sense of self respect enough to demand at least basic respect from others. They did not want my business, good. I'll put my money elsewhere. They were glad I took it back. I was more glad I did not give them my business. The time and aggravation... it is what it is, I just keep going and going and going... On the way there I just keep praying, "say nothing, say nothing". I just asked for the key, got in the truck and left.
September 14, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Yesterday was Amanda's Birthday. She founded Vegas Masketeers and with friends sew masks for people with the idea in mind that everyone should have access to a mask for safety and without cost if needed. She has hand sewn so far, about a hundred masks for the Traveling Piano to share with people living on the streets of Las Vegas. Also, she sets up on the streets herself to collect people's personal masks, and then cleans them to give back. So of course there had to be a Traveling Piano Happy Birthday Amanda! After dark... because the heat is back. And the pictures and having people on the truck... it is SO difficult... I am finding out it will have to be all or nothing concerning this virus and how the Traveling Piano will continue operating. I am still figuring it out. People are amazing. Someone emailed me for a booking without realizing that I ended my performance career fifteen years ago before this journey. People have kept my information for up to 20 years waiting for an opportunity to book me. What a compliment, eh? The Traveling Piano has been Bringing the Beat to the Street for 35 years full time in various different ways!
September 13, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Whew! Just... whew! Lol, I phoned Todd who purchases water, takes the labels off the bottles and then replaces them with scripture readings... then he gives them to me to put in my refrigerator and once they are cold, I take out for people laying on the hot sidewalks with no where to go in the smokey air that could not be worse right now because of the wildfires in California. He delivered about 80 bottles. Then I went into fundraising mode and that went well for the day. There are only four more days and I hope I can reach the goal. Every penny is going into the truck, keyboard and computer. For anyone who sees this I am out 73% goal and here are the ways you can contribute.
Here on the left of the page... the Contribute Button, on Facebook: Traveling Piano Facebook Fundraiser or GoFundMe: Traveling Piano GoFundMe Fundraiser ... Paypal Direct ... and then there was Amanda that I will write about tomorrow.
September 12, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Today was not a day to go outside with the smoke and heat but I did it anyway to give out about 80 bottles of water on the streets, all within a mile circumference from where I live. What does that tell you about how many people are suffering on the streets in America right now. Thank God I can do something personally. I would have created music if not for the smoke. People really appreciate seeing Mo and myself. Many have a need to pet him. At night the sky seemed somewhat clear so we went for a walk and that was a mistake. For some reasons certain streets are more smokey than others. Those streets were farthest from home so once we were in it, there was no escaping it. We had to walk through it and I can feel the ramifications of that as I write this. Mo seems ok. The only way through the world for me more than ever right now is with as much musical prayer and meditation... gratitude and service.
September 11, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
The smoke from burning wildfires in California was not too bad today so Mo and I went back to Redrock Canyon because tomorrow the heat is scheduled to return again with triple digit temperatures and with smoke... we are just going to hide inside. My breathing is not great these days to begin with and Mo with his age... Anyway, today is the annual 9/11 remembering which serves no purpose in my book even though the tragedy was very close to my heart for personal reasons. Today makes me think... nearly 3000 people died on 9/11. Roughly 1000 have died daily from Covid-19 since April. That is a 9/11 event every 3 days. Where is the outrage? At Redrock we ran into some people and two brothers originally from Venezuela video'd me creating some music. I knew the undershirt I was wearing was large and blowing in the wind and in the video I look embarrassingly obese. I knew that would happened, just another level of getting over myself with... it is what it is. Still, it is shocking that people will visually perceive me looking as big as a "house."
September 10, 2020
Red Rock Canyon, Nevada
Today was better than yesterday emotionally, still not great tho and little energy. Some good news... I called Mo's doctor who I had been told died about a year ago. Not true. So, tomorrow he has an appointment. I am hoping ex-rays will not be needed but I have a feeling they will be needed. $$$ He was better today. I think the swimming did him in with exhaustion concerning his legs yesterday. An appointment was also made with a different auto repair shop. That will happen on Wednesday. The truck is still acting up. The plan was to drive south for more nature today but we ended up in Red Rock Canyon. We heal in nature. I need to fill up on nature after having been missing it for months with the Traveling Piano truck in disrepair. Being in Red Rock was best place in case the truck broke down. The weather was as good as it can get. We actually drove to the overlook and I began to create music. It felt felt totally good! I lifted Mo into the truck and onto the piano. His jumping up days are dwindling down. There were about fifteen people in the area at a time. Ninety five percent were not wearing masks. The five percent that were wearing masks did not come over to us out of respect. The other ninety five stayed away out of fear with my sun glasses and mask on, lol. Good! I was realizing how little I have played the piano over the years, sometimes only a few minutes a day as everything always turning into people interactions. Creating music just for myself as in the beginning of the journey dissipated through time and really stopped once the record function on the piano broke.
People were in awe as usual and that was gratifying for me. I was thinking, "this will work with the sunglasses and mask" but then again, do I want to be out in public around people gathering for whatever reason without concern for the virus? In my eyes they are nothing but "I'm ok, the hell with everyone else" people whether they think that consciously or not. Respect for the virus must be first and foremost, then for others and what about themselves and their own loved ones? As a high risk person myself, people not embracing the gravity of the situation does nothing to help their avoiding to infect me without knowing. If I die as a result of them, what will they care as long as they do not know, eh? Wrong. After a while we drove to another spot where Mo and I hiked less than a quarter mile before just laying down in a river bed to take a nap. It is a new and great state of being to just be in nature not needed to walk, take photos, think about anything, look at and for rocks... just lay in a spot and mindlessly stare at the nature. Like an old person sitting mindlessly in a rocking chair all day, lol! When we were leaving that spot we ran into a guy driving past us who was very interested in the piano on the truck so we connected at a third spot. He wanted to get on to play but the virus again... establishing my boundaries and limits... it is just awful. Mo and I then engaged with two brothers from Venezuela now living in Miami. The socialization was a great. Keeping virus awareness is going to take some getting used to and also sticking with Traveling Piano social restrictions... just, ugh!
September 09, 2020
Lake Meade, Nevada
I am definitely not into sugarcoating what is going on with me and Mo and the journey. It is now and always has been... "for better or worse" as I said from the start. Must the ending be looked at as a "worst"? No but, I do feel and think it is ending... everything. So it is time to gain perspective, adjust, deal, accept and...live in today. I woke up and it was one of those fumbling over myself with every little detail days. I had to be very conscious of every tiny move and take my time with everything, focus like, I am going to pick up the coffee cup now, put it down to fill with coffee nice and easy, ok pick up the spoon, etc... yea, that detailed all day I needed to operate like that, in that mode. I took Mo to Lake Meade not expecting to go to the water but that is what we did. Mo's ability to stand and walk the last few days have been troublesome. I wanted him to have one last swim. It has been a long time, like years since he swam. Once he got the hang of it, he really enjoyed himself. I stopped after not too long because he would have just kept going, and going and going. I felt so good to see him enjoying the water. The weather was perfect, the sun, temperature, cool breeze.
Other then yesterday we had not been in nature since the pandemic began when everything closed down even the national parks. With all the beauty, gratitude and release of today I was just as much depressed. I thought, how can I be so depressed while enjoying life like this at the same time? It was mind boggling. After being in the water Mo had trouble walking. He almost could not hold himself up. I lifted him into the truck and later onto the piano and back down. The truck is going to have to go back into another shop for more repair. That just makes me want to cry. Maybe it has just seen its day. I could not take it on any dirt roads because the steering wheel and wheel axels are so lose it felt like it was about to fall apart. So, we just stuck with paved roads. It is after all 35 years old with the piano in the back. My trying to hike, wow I can do so little but enjoyed what I did. We tried to take naps in cave like rock out-coves but it is September and the big, hard-ass, loud... hungry before hibernation desert bees would not let us alone. Still it was awesome being alone in the rock formations with Mo and exploring what we could.
I cleaned the truck some and then began to create some music. Everything has come full circle. In the beginning I was creating music for myself, then people found us, then people began to get in on everything to create music for themselves and now it is back to only me. A few bikers stopped and we had an exchange. They filmed me and I gave my camera to them to record me. Strangers hands on the camera with the virus, could not invite them onto the truck with the virus, no masks for protection... it was all very difficult. I just want to give up and not care and be normal like it used to be whether we all die from the cova virus or not. Of course I cannot do that but navigating the distancing and interactions... oh my God, it is so difficult because I just want it to be all fun and they don't care at all... I must care for all of us. It is totally exhausting.
It is difficult enough for me to create fun for myself with all the truck trouble, wondering if it will start every time I turn it on, the keyboard half shot in need of replacement with no keyboards that I can use to be had anywhere in the world. (that is another story) And then with the virus, my age with physical limitations, how little I am able to accomplish daily with my mental state and the state of the world, the environment, trump destroying my country, the income situation, Mo... dear God Mo is aging faster every day. Just staying interested with the same work day after day after all these years... I do know... the answer to all the doom and gloom is to stay in service for others, remember to remember that the passing of life as we know it is not the end of life and... not to worry, everything will be ok. This I know. Fun for me has always been "serious" fun. It takes work and now is not the time to quit although... nope, cannot quit. Just keep going Danny!
September 08, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
With the piano, speaker and equipment back into the truck, we drove to Redrock Canyon for a test drive today. It worked well with a few kinks to get ironed out. I was out simply to create music for myself and it felt very good. A few people were around, one young kid who was in awe with the visual and sound. We got talking. Right now, from the beginning, need to catch myself in not starting out with, "what would normally happen is that I would invite you onto the truck, blah, blah, but Covid, blah blah, so I can't invite you up on the truck, 100,000 people have done it in the past, blah, blah." It helps nothing for me to tell the experience of what people cannot have because of the virus. There is no fun in that. It detracts from the experience. And, it is all about me wanting people to know how great it all... was. The story line needs to change. What am I going to do for pictures to document the journey and people's experiences? While hiking for a short while I noticed that taking pictures of nature was not so fun but once I got going I feel into the routine.
September 07, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overnight, the environment went from super hot summer right into an autumn weather with a feel in the mid seventies and windy. It is an unbelievable feeling. I sat with my coffee with the air conditioner off and the door open for the first time in months. I was going to wait until tomorrow to put the equipment back in the truck but could not wait. The smoke from wildfires in California was not nearly as bad as it was yesterday when the sun was actually blocked out from it. Putting the piano back in, the wires the speaker... it was completely emotionally draining. But, I reminded myself that it has always been emotionally draining, the not knowing if I will do it backwards or if it will even work. With the truck, sometimes it feels ok, sometimes not when I start it. If I turn it off after running it for a while, it gives me trouble starting, the idle is running fast... I just keep on truckin' along hoping for the best. The truck is still in test mode from all the work done on it. I am ready to get back into nature and creating music. I feel emotional like ready to cry just thinking about it. The past few months have been difficult in so many ways with the virus, money, being stuck inside, the truck repair (that was horrendous) the heat, not being able to do my work. Living in the moment and finding joy in whatever can seem mundane but I know that is the way out into more joy.
September 06, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
The smoke from California wildfires was so bad today in Las Vegas it blocked out the sun. The day was dark and gloomy with the temperature over a hundred and ten degrees. Is that crazy or what? I have been very distraught over politics and the extreme danger in our mists. Worse than trump and republican politicians serving themselves and corporate cohorts... are the regular everyday people supporting them. They are culpable in a genocide that is happening right here in America. If trump was a pedophile, his supporters would still lie for and support him without choice. Over eighty percent of trump supporters I have met told me face to face. They start out with, "I have no choice" and then they go into the rationalizations, the lies they know are lies, the usual indoctrinating parroted, fear mongering that has been fed to them daily like hay for a cows. The rationalizations validate feelings and thought they never owned for themselves to begin with. Most all of these people are fundamentally religious. They also hide behind the cloak of Jesus Christ. They do good deeds for the poor in the name Jesus to tell themselves they are good people. They are not and they do not do any deeds to be simply good people.
They like the propaganda feed they give to themselves and get from friends and the media. It keeps them distracted from owning their own morally defective characters resulting from emotionally stunted childhoods. They have no choice but to take direction from what they perceive as authoritarians. They hide under trump's authoritarianism in order to cover their own darkness. They will not, cannot get honest with themselves and see their own moral bankruptcy. Better to look at trump with reluctant acceptance or out and out glee. Trump is their authoritarian, the dictator of their life needed in order to stay emotionally stunted, never to mature into their own person. Ahh, for the love of the Nazi, KKK, Qanon, republicans, evangelicals, white nationalists, greedy capitalists poor or not, and all others supporting trump. Smelly peas together in one pod. Soon they will all rot together in that pod. A little departure from the usual Traveling Piano bill of fare, but it needs to be said and everyone has a responsibility to stand up for the truth of spirit now more than ever before.
September 05, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
So the heat has been painful and limiting, the end is in sight for better days. The Fundraiser, I am wondering if I can make it work to continue. These blogs are taking three times the amount of time they used to take to make. Mo brings me joy. The security of having a place is important. The truck back in my possession is huge. Having people in my life who care is everything not just care about me but who care about life. Contribute!
I have no idea what happened today because I am writing this entry on September 9th. Too long a time has passed. I do not even remember what happens in a day by the end of it. This is why not having people on the truck and photographing them is going to be missed. When I write the blog, the photos remind me of what happened throughout the day. Oh well, time for big changes... again. Lol, although life is ever ending change, eh?
September 03, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
This morning I felt nauseous when I woke up. I was like... no, no, no you are not allowed to have that feeling. Every morning it is difficult to get going both physically and mentally. I know that is how it is for most people as they get older. Waking up becomes more challenging. Thank God, I'll say it a million times, that I can get the rest I need no matter how long. And, I say morning, lol... it is always afternoon because I am up late which fits now more than ever for both Mo and I as we cannot go for a walk during the day with the temperatures still at a hundred ten and above.
Mo and I took more fresh Panera loaves of bread and water out as the sun was setting with the Traveling Piano. People are so amazing. It is clear that the prejudices built into us through formative years, they can never really leave us. We must learn to live with them. I must consciously keep an awareness... and with action, work on mine. It is easy to see how people who do not subject themselves to diversity in relationship, they become complacent in their prejudices and this, one reason why they reject being confronted with them by others, do not even realize they have them.
There are generalized thoughts of prejudice I will always have about homeless people that are just not true. Thoughts as in, they will take as much as they can, take advantage of whatever they can because they are needy... will not share because they are needy... care only about themselves because they are in a survival mode, are dirty and trashy, do not want take care of themselves or want to work. People living on the streets have mental problems, are of low intellect, emotionally stunted. And of course we all have been taught they are on the streets because they are drug addicts, alcoholics and want to create harm out of anger, are unable of making good choices, are irresponsible, dangerous, etc...
What I have come to realize is that people are people. Being homeless has nothing to do with any of what I just wrote. Everything I said here is not exclusive in anyway to just homeless people, nor are homeless people more susceptible to any of it. Who people are, why people are the way they are and the fact that they are homeless are all three different issues. Of course there is overlapping but first and foremost they are three different issues. Every single negative stated here applies also to people who have homes to live in. None of it... is more prevalent with homeless people. This amazes me daily. The prejudices built into me are so strong, I am constantly surprised that my experiences refute them, always.
I learn and remember daily because interacting with homeless people proves the truth about myself and reminds me. For example, when someone comes up to me asking if I have any water and I say I am out or water, almost always if the person I gave my last cold bottle to sees or hears it, they will say here, take mine. I see people take care of each other on the streets when there is nothing to get physically in return. When people living on the street clean up other people's trash as well as their own, they are just trying and be tidy. People try to make clean and orderly sleeping areas for just a night and as well as try to keep their bodies clean. You would be surprised at how many people you will pass on the street and you would not know they are homeless. The sigma is horrendous for most living on the streets and as well the fear not only for themselves but of other people who will demean, humiliate, look down on them. It is amazing to hear the misfortunes that have landed people with educational degrees of all sorts on the streets. Many people have families that know they are homeless. There are as many reasons for being homeless as there are people on the streets.
I had super large loaves of bread today and when I ask if someone wants one as large as it is, they say sure... I can share it with others. Or, when I am with three or four people they will make a joke saying, we can break bread together. Very often, people say that they want just a small piece as they do not want to waste any. Some people ask if they can have some to feed the birds. Ninety nine percent of the people I interact with are grateful and express that. People find small tokens of appreciation to give to me... whether useless or not they just want to give in return. There is not one human being alive that does not want to feel needed, have purpose, at their core want to share, to love and be loved in return. All that is stripped from people who are homeless as they become inconvenient and objectified in society by those morally bankrupt who lack compassion and empathy for anyone who does not personally serve them.
The humility, hope, faith, appreciation and optimism that people on the streets mirror for me is priceless. It is worth life itself. Go out and find some of this for yourself. Everyone needs these feelings especially now if for no other reason it can be positive distraction from the hell that is. Relating with someone you do not know will raise your feeling of self worth. There are many people interacting with the homeless on the streets. Usually you do not hear about that or see them. Many are small non-profits and everyone has something to bring to the table. For me, my specialty right now is the water I share. It is cold, from my refrigerator. And often, it is in perfect timing as someone had just given the person a meal five minutes before I got to them... or a mask, or socks, or some hygienic supplies.
There will always be homeless people who are disgusting, totally mental, nefarious, stupid drug addicts and users. They are an overwhelming minority. The majority of those types actually live in homes and, they often are the very ones bashing homeless people on a continuous basis because they do not want to get honest and take a look at themselves. Deep down they live in fear that they are the same as homeless people and... they in fact, are. Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my!
September 02, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I need to seriously remember that I am now sixty five years old and to think about that when I am working... to not push myself too hard. I woke up after twelve hours sleep, thank God I am able to sleep as much as I need. Last night Mo and I walked too much. After I woke up my friend Max from Mc Kee's ranch dropped off half a truck load of water and fresh Panera bread for me to take to the streets now that I have the Traveling Piano back up and running. The truck gave me trouble starting few times but I need to remember that it also is thirty five years old which in human years is two life times. With myself and the truck we were working in a hundred and five degree sun. Last year I was not working with the homeless in the truck as much as now. I had enough strength to be walking around and did it in the middle of the night with water only, not with huge loaves of bread like now. So anyway, when I finished, that was it for the day, I had no-where-with all to do anything else. I need to remember that also, I am out of shape from being inside for months but then again when I was playing at the Mission Center back when, there were days when I played for two hours and that also wiped me out for the entire day. I need help to keep going... make a contribution to keep spirit high and alive! Facebook: Traveling Piano Facebook Fundraiser or GoFundMe: Traveling Piano GoFundMe Fundraiser ...or... Paypal Direct
September 01, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
The truck got back out on the road for the second day and gave me no problem, thank God, knock on wood. I drove Mo to Sunset park a half hour away and we walked on grass around trees and water in a cool night temperature for the first time since early May I think it was. There was such a feeling of relief and gratitude. I am hoping I did not walk too much as when I am enjoying nature there is no sense of anything like pushing myself too much physically and Mo seemed fine. Beforehand I took to the streets with a case of water from my fridge and it was amazing how much people have missed us. People told me they were seeking me out just to see me for comfort. Most everyone on the streets knew the Traveling Piano truck was down.
I wish more people would do the work I do so they could feel how purposeful and fulfilling life is in service to others on a consistent basis especially when on your own terms. One old guy... wow, he just looks worse and worse every time I see him. He calls Mo "bear dog." I learned something from him. We had kind of a terse conversation over trump a half year ago and I said if he was a trump supporter that amounts to nothing more than being a traitor as an American, that trump could not care less if he was dead and in fact would prefer it. Well, this guy as mental as he is and with very little clarity... what he remembers is me calling him a traitor. So, I need to watch what I say to vulnerable people as what I say means a lot to them as they have a high respect for me. He's not going to vote, it serves no purpose to call him out.