HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010
Use the links to the left to read a past Month or Year... and then there is always your Backspace to return to a past page.
Would you like to support 16 years of Traveling Piano work without fees, tips or commercial affiliation? Venmo: Dan Kean @TravelingPiano 2156399378 - Paypal Direct: www.paypal.me/dannykean - And of Course this Website Contribution Page. Or email me for snail mail.
November 30, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
For the love of diversity and all Las Vegas has to offer... the Traveling Piano today was sharing Musical Fun, Friendship and Respect along with the idea of strangers becoming less afraid of each other all day long on Main Street in the Arts District. Mo and I were supporting small business day in the area. We stopped in front of eight businesses to play. The only business owners to acknowledge us were already supporters, the auto shop and an antique place. My friends came out to say hello. All the others, nothing. A few owners actually came to the windows but did not even wave or come out. What are they crazy? Lol, the very least would be to acknowledge our presence and thank us for being there or have some interest? Although, it was not too surprising unfortunately. But, it does weed out what stores I want to support for the future.
Doing this also gave me a feel as to whether I would want to go back to work supporting a street or business association. No, not unless it is really, really, really worth my while. Did that, done that already before this journey for twenty years before this last twelve. Creating music myself was exhausting and almost boring to me in knowing I was "working it" for the sake of the street verses just myself. People interacting, it was awesome as always. We met lots of people. This is such a perfect city to meet people from all over the world as well as the locals because it is not that large and I am in an area that everyone comes to. The Traveling Piano needs your individual support to continue without fees, tips or commercial affiliation. Please create a subscription on this website. Support a sense of community and relationship! Email me for another alternative way to contribute.
November 29, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
The rent got paid but at the cost of the computer not getting fixed. So, I have one month before the all the internet browsers are no longer compatible with the old computer I'm using. That would be when this blog stops unless funding comes through. Feeling distraught, I went to the mission as usual and sat in the truck with Mo praying for some energy to create love, friendship, music and respect for people in much worse a situation than myself. God, I hope I do not end up with them all next month without a home. I really did think I would be dead by now or that financial stability would have happened. I thunk wrong. So... onward. Mo and I went inside the mission and first thing, a volunteer walks up, shakes my hand with a twenty dollar bill in it. That felt like a sign from God to just keep going. I played my fingers off for an hour but by the time the second dinner came around I just had no energy. Also, there is no heat in the place. How can they not have heat? The temperatures are in the low forties. It was too cold, I could not play any longer and left early. Once home I collapsed into a no energy mode. After a few hours I woke up and needed to take Mo for a walk. I also wanted to give out a couple blankets on the street. Thank God for my desire to care for Mo and other people. Without that I would get no exercise.
A young girl was sitting by herself on the sidewalk rambling away, completely distraught. When I asked her if she wanted a blanket she said, "yes I would like a blanket very much thank you." Then she went back to rambling for a few minutes trying to communicate through none sensible words how much she appreciated that I stopped and was listening to her and how she is surviving. It is amazing to hear people's minds working when it is so very difficult for them. Then a few blocks away I came out of an alley as a guy was walking across the street and we just gravitated right into each other like magnets. He knew me well, I had no idea who he was. He had just got off the bus from San Diego and remembered me from the being on the news last year fundraising for the Traveling Piano. It was right about this time of year. And, he was also talking a little non sensible but remembered clearly about the piano and me also as the water man. It has really has meant a lot to homeless people, Mo and my walking the dark alleys in the summer when it was over a hundred degrees with cold waters in my backpack. I could see him struggling for words and he sputtered out "Danny". That was just a wow for me, that he tried so hard to remember my name and actually knew it. Can we talk respect? Anyway, I'm glad I had a blanket for him. And his mention of the fundraiser felt also like another little nudge from above to get going with fundraising. Please God, do I have to?
November 28, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
Here's wishing that everyone is having a decent Thanksgiving. I hope we all can find some gratitude in our lives not only today but every day. Those that know me, know gratitude is what keeps the Traveling Piano as well as myself in tune together. Thankfulness for Mo always by my side personally is number one. Having a way to connect with people in the world, for better or worse... the world would not exist without being in relationship with others, that is number two. It is through people that I find a power greater than myself, the God of my understanding. Our lives as we know it is contingent on the existence of others.
It is cloudy, rainy and cold here in Las Vegas today. I wanted to head out and create music, connect with people living on the streets between rain showers to hopefully find the loneliness person alive, so we can love them to death out of their misery! Lol... that is a joke, sort of... as in the death of misery. Well, it rained all day so tat did not happen. We did drive over to create music for people coming in off the streets for dinner at the mission center indoors. Much love to everyone and please say a prayer in thankfulness for us. As well, please create a financial subscription on the Traveling Piano website so we can continue. Why that note on the end of this? Because the situation is acute... in order to keep even the room Mo and I rent now. The fact is, there can be a Happy Thanksgiving along with everything else!
November 27, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
The old backup computer I am using, the screen keeps growing grey and needing a reboot. Its only a matter of time it dies for good so, I spent lots of the day backing up my most recent work. GoDaddy is screwing me by just taking away my email client and forcing me to switch to a new server where they will charge an additional fee monthly. The reply to my rejection of that idea... they said to go somewhere else. What a pain in the butt. That is going to happen if I can raise the money to do it. Also, I think this website as it has been for the last twelve years, may have to go because of lack of funding. My hope was that it would live on forever in the internet world. I drove to a computer repair place to ask if they would contribute their services to fix my computer.
They said yes for the services but not for the parts I need. So I can at least get the computer running with a replacement fan and keyboard even though the ports and sound do not work and the screen is very worn if... the problem does not turn out to be the motherboard as with this computer I am now typing on. Next door to the computer place was the largest Toyota dealer in Las Vegas so I stopped there to go fishing for support. Of course that was a lot of fun for a few minutes. I got a phone number for someone which is like getting a straw in a football field full of straw if you can catch my drift. Never the less, I just keep on going on as people have always encouraged me to do.
November 26, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
I became very ill last night. Not a flu type ill. It is an emotional, mental and physical illness where my ability to think becomes clouded except for a depression of unbelievable angst and pain. My spirit tightens into an almost complete oblivion of torture and my body shuts down. It is not new. I have been dealing with it for almost forty years. It has been described before in this blog. In the early days it would get so bad I had to be hospitalized in an emergency ward where a cocktail of ibuprofen, xanax and muscle relaxer saved my ass. I have not been sick like this for at least two years. Luckily, I have some drugs left for an emergency. The only problem, they are dated back in 2015 from the last time I saw my doctor when I was back east. At first I did not think they were going to work. Thank God... they did. So after fifteen hours sleep I pulled myself up and out of bed, took a shower and ate a little. I was feeling really depressed about the field last night. Mo being with me when I woke up helped. He knows when I am in need. When that is the case, he just lays spreading his back along my back and waits out whatever time is needed to just "be" with me... with my knowing and feeling he is with me physically in spirit 100%.
Someone called and left a message on my cell and I remember thinking, "who would call me, no one ever calls me?" It was Denise from the auto repair shop wanting me to check out an office desk she wanted to purchase. It will be in the Traveling Piano Gallery's auto shop waiting room. It was like a signal from God on several levels which I won't get into. But that got me out of the room to go check on a $250 office desk which the guy ended up giving me for free when I told him a little bit of what I am about. Then Mo and I headed to out for our usual musical connecting with community across from the Salvation Army. My thinking after being so sick was, "just get back on the horse and keep riding it." The weather is really cold now but as in the past I thought about all the homeless people who do not have a warm room to go back to as I do. Patrick who's group serves food where we setup came over and gave me a whole chicken some buns and a fresh cherry pie. I have stuffing that I got last night, cranberry sauce, vegetables... all I need is a few mushrooms and I can make myself a thanksgiving dinner, lol. A small group showed up, set up a table and began sharing coffee and pastries with whomever ever passed by. They get together and set up somewhere once a month. We had a lot of fun and they just brought me back to life... full speed ahead.
November 25, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
What an emotional mess I was today. I needed to go to the field for one last time to set the record straight as to why I was not going to return there on Monday nights after having been there every week for over two years. It was concerning well... you can read it all in the November 18th blog. The issue brought up the very worst of the deepest dysfunctional family issues that I had to detach from many years ago. And this, on Thanksgiving week. Holidays for me were very emotionally significant concerning family while growing up. Standing up for my principals, there is nothing more difficult for me to do. After all this time and with all the experience I have I can do it but never does it get easier than the first time I ever did it. I handed my statement on paper to key people and stayed away from thinking about how they will accept it. There is no figuring people out although I was born and raised in the mindset of the people who attend this weekly gathering to serve the poor and homeless.
I left Mo in the truck for most of the time and the Traveling Piano was parked off the street. The main newspaper for Las Vegas was there to create a story with video and I was very thankful I was not working. Yesterday I created a fundraiser on GoFundMe for Mo but have not told anyone yet. That in of itself was excruciating for me to do. I mentioned to the reporter that they might be interested in helping me out with an article for the fundraiser. As I transition into whatever is manifesting for my life I find myself more and more "real" and personal with this blog. I almost don't want certain kinds of people to read this blog anymore because I feel I am becoming more controversial by the week with the need to stand for the truth of spirit loud and clear. As I drove off tonight I was thinking how I just want to smack across the side of the head anyone I come across who is arrogant and prideful about their owning a gun.
November 24, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
Mo is such a comfort in life for me! The way he can be in situations is so amazing. A neighbor dog ran into our room today. It was the first time, just being rambunctious, went right for Mo's food. Most dogs would freak with a sudden intruder in their den and going for their food. Mo did jump off the bed instinctively but did not freak out, bark, growl... he just went up to the dog to smell its butt. He was actually welcoming the dog even though it startled him. Yesterday, Denise from the auto repair shop around the corner fixed my truck horn without cost. When we were about to leave another guy there, very drunk and crazy and loud got involved with our leaving... jumped into the truck, grabbed Mo while saying he was going to take him home... everyone was trying to talk the guy down, chaos... Mo in his arms just looked at me like... help? He didn't try to fight, or freak, or bite. Once he got away from the guy there was no running away. I never in my life imagined the possibility of love, respect and appreciation on the level that I experience with and for my pup!
November 23, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
Getting older for me is tricky in many ways. For example there is a tendency to become sentimental and if any yearning ais attached... not good. To get sentimental with gratitude and fun memories of "did that, done that"... is good. It is a conscious decision most of the time. Like with my house and all the "stuff" I used to own. It is better to just not revisit the memories unless I am feeling emotionally stable. I realized today with Thanksgiving coming up that I still chase the warm, fuzzy feelings and memories that my mom created... which ended in reality almost forty years ago! Enjoying the holiday for what it was and comparing it to now... not a good idea. It only creates feelings of neediness and what I presently do not have. No matter what, trying to delusionally create the past by going through the acts, trying to fake it or worse... working myself into chaotic distractions or depression over it all is just bad. Although, having traditions is nice. Once I broke away out of choice, from all traditions, no new ones appeared for my life. So now it is all about just living one day at a time? I'll be hanging out with my peeps on the streets this Thanksgiving. They are my family these days. I love and care and appreciate them all very much, as they do me. Thank God I have that for myself. We do not really need to know each other in any other way than through spirit. Life works best that way.
November 22, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
A guy from the streets at the rescue mission dinner tonight asked if he could record my music on his phone so he could listen to it later when going to sleep. I'll be eternally grateful that something like that has happened for me in life. I spent fifty years pushing back, away from creating my souls music. The fear of doing it created a distain so strong it was beyond my imagination. On the piano I left the music holder down for the first time which opened up a whole new sound. I never realized the music was coming out so bright. The music board holds back a lot of the sound. It was so bright, it was almost irritating. I'll need to remember that for the future because that is what people are hearing. My playing is loud!
November 21, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
The decision to stop going to my Monday night commitment, I know it is the right thing to do. I must take a stand but it all really is a test of the commitment to my values and principals as well as my truth of spirit. It is cold at night now so I have been taking to the streets with blankets for people laying on the sidewalks in the cold with nothing to keep them warm. I have a stash of about six left in my room. The original purpose of my being at the commitment was to give to the street, those giving and receiving weekly. That turned into getting my clothes washed and folded, all of my weekly food, (really good food) and I didn't think about it until tonight... the blankets for people sleeping on the sidewalks around where I live. All my "getting" could easy overshadow the original purpose which was to share the Traveling Piano on the street and now to give all that "getting" out of choice for the sake of doing the right thing... not easy. If your wondering what I am talking about read the blog for Monday.
November 20, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
I am working to garner subscriptions through this website for sustained income. Some friends have come through and it really feels like those few are keeping me alive...literally. Still, it only amounts to 30% of my monthly needs. I've been posting updates on facebook... The Traveling Piano now has 22 subscribers which equals 30% of "basic" monthly income needs! There are no tips, fees, or commercialization affiliation associated with the Traveling Piano. That fact is part of the brand in working as an individual, one-on-one with people. There are no sources of support other than from you my friends. Please help bring that percentage up before we go down. You can do that by going to www.travelingpiano.com click on the contribute button under the picture. If you need help or have a problem accessing the subscription link, email me and I will walk you through the process. Here's looking forward... and please help!
November 19, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
I'm working on a new routine or maybe I should just say a... routine. There have been musical Traveling Piano commitments in my life that have created structure but no specific routine time-wise. Gone are the days of free spirited musical peregrinating, for now? I don't know what to do about the photo gallery. Dealing with people and dealing with problems with people has always been a major challenge for me. When life is on my terms only, no problem. Mo and I drove to a homeless resource facility that we have been to before and created music there before going to our usual Tuesday commitment. It was cloudy all day with on and off drizzle very light not enough to keep us from doing our job. At night rain began to fall steady. Mo and I took a walk in it for an hour and even splashed in a few puddles. Rain is rare here in Las Vegas and it was still warm enough that we could handle it and I miss the rain so there ya go.
November 18, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
Sad times. We must all take a stand for the truth of spirit. This is going to be a long post because I want to say it all. Won't be going back to the field where we have been going every Monday for the last two years. I feel tempted to post this everywhere online but just here will do. This Monday night gathering of mostly Catholics and a smattering of other than, all Christians serve the poor with food and resources and some with guns for protection in their pocket, in their truck. It is just not appropriate. I won't have guns for the sake of protection in my church, my school, in my truck or around me and my dog. It all just pisses me off to no end. So here goes...
Do you think people carrying guns in their pocket at a poor and homeless community gathering for resources is appropriate protection? Where is the trust and faith in God’s protection? How about two guns... one in the car for additional needed use. Do you think that... what is good for the goose is not good for the gander? Should some lay people be able to have a gun at these gatherings while others should not? For example, people with homes should be able to carry a gun for protection while homeless people will get arrested if they have one? It is a ludicrous idea that any one individual volunteer is more sane than any one individual poor person or someone living on the street showing mental issues or not. Do you think that volunteers are more rational because they have a home and follow direction from their deemed authorities and are good people who took a gun class, have gun use experience or because they volunteer? And, as a result they would never shoot someone unless needed? The overwhelming majority of gun violence happens from people who spin those questions for self-justification through fear. I have more personal and extensive experience with gun violence than most people, 30 years of it with single gun shootings and well as in the worst mass shootings this country has had. Unequivocally I can say that protectionists and unconsciously (out of choice) fear-based people are loaded cannons. In this day and age I want nothing to do with them and will turn the other cheek, as in walk away. I'll have my say about the matter with them first.
Do you think that, community and family oriented gatherings should be armed with police, security or guards and people hiding guns in their pocket or worse displaying them with pride? Do you think that volunteers while spreading Gods love should be bearing arms while they work? Do you think that Jesus, the pacifist he was, only turned his cheek for God? That it was not for you also, as an example to follow? Do you think that Jesus felt more safe and secure than you because he was "special" and that he would have carried a gun around in this day and age to kill you in order to save others if needed? Jesus used his faith, trust in God and knowing of spirit... in order to deal with violent and dangerous situations. Do you think it is OK for you not to follow his lead because you are less than Jesus? Do you think that Jesus is OK with your feeling less than him and therefore condones your use of a gun and embraces your weakness in sin to protect yourself and others of your tribe?
While at my commitment, it is a weekly Christian gathering with a smattering of other types, I was boasting that I had pepper spray to another volunteer and that I wanted to use it on anyone who attacked Mo or myself. I've never done anything like that before. Make no mistake about it, my bragging was through fear. The volunteer then began to boost that he had a gun in his pocket and another in his truck in case it was needed. Another guy rationalized that a security guard who often attends, wears a gun. I had thought that was a stun gun. There is a big difference between pepper spray and a loaded gun in an environment like that. These types of people are wolves in sheep clothing. They are in denial about that fact. They deny with justified self-serving. There is no way I am going to allow my dog or myself to be subject to a dangerous situation where a gun supporter who thinks he is in control, because he has a gun. Or, that he will be able to be responsible with a gun in a present moment of chaotic fear and will do so responsibly. If people like this are too fearful to volunteer in situations like this without a gun I say, do something else. Work where you feel safe enough that you don't feel the need to protect yourself through gun violence if you deem necessary. Am I going to give control and trust of my life and my dogs life to someone with a gun supporter in a shoot em' up scenario? Have it triggered by someone who lives fear based themselves… through the need to feel secure, by shooting a bullet into someone? Nope.
There are many people who look forward to the Traveling Piano at this weekly gathering. We have been there every week for at least two years. Not returning makes me very uneasy on a selfish level. My food as well as Mo's food and treats for the week come from this place. A volunteer from this gathering contributes the time and cost of washing and folding my clothes which is a big deal for me on many levels, cost and otherwise. I am not going to call out the gun-toting individual specifically. But, I am also not going to lie, create a smoke screen or a pink elephant in the room about the fact of why I am not returning. I will be responsible and straightforward about it when asked. The "responsible and straight forward" is every word of this writing. When it comes down to the bottom line, most volunteers will not care enough about my being present or not in order to make a difference. My homeless friends and others... there are countless ways to continue connecting with them ongoing. My financial situation... I will just continually try my best to improve with, daily.
My principals are most important. Staying true to my character comes first and foremost. I will not fall prey to personal fear and insecurity concerning finances and emotional needs... as a way to negotiate the truth of spirit in my life concerning life and survival. I'll live with the fears for better or worse. The truth of spirit is not compatible with the idea of negotiation. You either do or do not strive for complete love through faith. That is not negotiable. There is no love in murdering others with a gun through fear, justification, rationalization, revenge, hate, protection, anger or the idea of killing in order to save life. By the grace of God only, I will not kill another person in a moment of passionate chaos or anger. I think about, and work to stay in that grace everyday. Along with mindfulness and faith, tools are also needed... such as staying away from as much as possible... people, places and things (guns) that will take me down the path of hell as we all know hell to be.
November 17, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
The world is turning upside down as in confused and chaotic in front of my eyes. I am determined to live through it until the very end and make the best I can for myself and others, for those that can realty to me. The Art Gallery, I just put into a state of limbo. There are people working at the gas station where the waiting room is my gallery space. The location could not be better for the gallery and Traveling Piano. There is one guy who has been living there and other workers who I do enjoy and know are really good people but they are all lose cannons. When we talk about drugs and alcohol and all that can create... the chaos, insanity, lies, jail, cheating, stealing, revenge, lack of respect for property and belongings, being hired and then fired and then hired again well, I should know better by now that there is little chance of my not getting sucked into one of the drama ridden situations eventually. When it happens, I just head for the door because I have many years of knowing that I do not stand a chance in the situation. So, I do not know what the future will hold but its not looking good today as when dealing with dysfunctional people of this type there can be no consistent boundaries or limits.
November 16, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
Today was a full Traveling Piano Photo Gallery day from ten in the morning to eight at a night. I arrived late for work a half hour. This venture is a work in progress. For the last few years my getting up around noon has been the norm. There are plenty of people on the street to interact with. I play, they find me, we engage, I do the Traveling Piano thing with them, then explain what I am doing (thats exhausting) then I take them inside to show them the gallery. There are not many people in a days time that I can engage with like this so... I'll figure it out. It is tricky to not come across as though I'm trying to sell them a photo while at the same time hoping they will buy one. I just need to stay honest with my intent. The experience of the Traveling Piano without any other agenda except for fun, friendship and respect is first and most important...
I just need to trust that the money part will fall into place without my needing to push for it. No one purchased a photo but they were all locals I met and hopefully they will return to make a purchase. Also, I must sent up other ways immediately to pay other than cash. Hardly anyone uses cash anymore and as one person said, once they get some cash they spend it immediately. I was really feeling my music today, what little I played. Maybe the idea of the Bellagio Fountains on the strip will work where the music goes off on the hour for ten minutes. That is so little time but I must tend to gallery issues and interacting with people. The ten minutes turns into twenty or thirty for each person that stops which is the idea. But then there is no time to look online for contribution, process pictures, build a following on social media, etc... I'll figure it all out.
November 15, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
Mo and I spent time between the Photo Gallery and the Mission center today. I set up store hours now lets see if I can follow through. I'm feeling positive about everything even though I have not made a penny. I have the tools to get going. Fast Print made a thousand more flyers for me and another sign. I so much appreciate them doing that. I need to get people to come inside the gallery. Unfortunately I was not clear in the directions so the sign which is an A-frame has the arrows pointed in a different direction on each side. I'll figure something out as I don't want to tell them as they already have done enough in making it for me. I began to sign my signature on my black photo matts parts of the photos in white. They look awesome. The piano with its problems had led to me creating music in a different way. I've been communicating more through my music lately, with more nuance. I can feel it. It is an energy. There is clarity in it like I've never before experienced. Sort of, like... I know what I am doing.
November 14, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
The curtains are up in the Traveling Piano Art Photo Gallery. Now I can hang pictures and not worry about the sun using the glass windows to burn the photos into a fade. Keeping the place clean will be a challenge. Everything is makeshift, it is what it is. I went to the store to get pieces of cloth to hold the curtains open. A guy opening a shop down the street offered to help me out with some printing needs and Fast Print Las Vegas is continuing to help me out with signage and flyers. Mo and I were at the Mission Center creating music today and one of the volunteers mentioned she might have a neighbor willing to help me out with a badly needed piano replacement for the truck. No hope or expectation... just observation and a continued moving forward. The air is moist today and I can feel it in my hand. My right hand has three screws in it from about fifteen years ago. With another school shooting in California today I made some strong posting on two facebook groups which is very difficult to do in knowing what I have to say will be attacked not only from opposition but people who cannot take any rocking of a boat. Aside from Mo, there is nothing more important for me than to stand up and speak the truth of spirit through my words and actions. Whatever happens as a result is not as important. I have the personal experience to be able to take a stand for those now dead who cannot take a stand for themselves as well as for all the grieving families, friends and community members who's lives will forever be fucked as a result of lose and personal witnessing of ongoing gun murdering. Get rid of the guns. For anyone new to this blog... I have personal gun violence experience with the Traveling Piano going back 32 years. Just to mention a few, the Traveling Piano was at the Virginia Tech mass murder, in Sandy Hook CT, San Bernardino CA at the elementary school, on Los Angeles skid row, here in Las Vegas, etc... etc... etc...
November 13, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
Well, as I knew might happen last night, after my friend Stephen left las Vegas, I got more and more tired as the night when on, physically slower, my head hurt and it felt like I was getting very sick, I could not think and just began feeling very sad and went to bed. I woke up every two hours through the night feeling a little stronger each time until twelve hours later I got up... did a few errands, worked on this blog and processed photos. As well, I wrote a detailed statement about Monday night for myself which I will publish tomorrow. My truth of spirit is clear and in alignment with my mindful intent. I trust in my decision to not go back to the field next week. This makes me very sad but on every level it is the right thing to do. Standing up for my principals and values... staying true to my character... and making that statement for the sake of the world... is what matters to me most... second to Mo. I realize that my significance is only relative to me. It only matters to me through God.
November 12, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
Stephen, the only person I am really in contact with still living from my pre-journey life was in Las Vegas today and we got together. I was supposed to go to my usual Tuesday commitment but blew it off. Stephen and his friend badgered me into doing that but on the other hand, maybe I am too committed to these commitments and it is time for a change. I said when I first saw him, that now I would need to work on not getting depressed when he leaves. His presence brings up all the failed obligations and expectations on my part as well as others from past friends and family in my life still living back east. It sparks just about every emotion in me both good and bad. The full moon energy has me spinning, as well as the loss of my very close friend John about two weeks ago and then there is what happened last night... plus my money issues.
November 11, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
My energy is spinning out of control with the full moon tonight. At the field I told a woman if she ever gives Mo a dental chew again I'm not coming back and will tell everyone it is because of her. I'm done with people just feeding Mo treats because it is fun for themselves. His teeth are going bad and if he breaks one from those hard chews he can die fast from infection. Also, he cannot digest them and they may cause a blockage in his system. They are not healthy for any dog. I've stated this several times but people don't care, they don't want to believe it and are just disrespectful. I scared the shit out of her and know she will never come near us again. I don't care. A few people have been getting crazier at the field so I have some pepper spray with me now. I was telling one of the volunteers about that. He sets up to give out resources next to the Traveling Piano and told me he has two guns with him and had one in his pocket in case it was ever needed. That does not work for me... at all. I talked with another volunteer and he rationalized it with a guy who comes every once in a while who has a security business. When he is wearing is uniform on the street he also has a gun. That does not work for me. It goes against my principals and guns do not belong in this environment whether your a good guy or a bad guy. I may need to stop going to this commitment that I've had for over two years and enjoy very much. It is a matter of principal, it is a matter of appropriateness, it is a matter of safety. I've too much experience with guns and gun ownership to know that I want nothing to do with any of it, or to be near it.
I'm not willing to give someone else responsibility for carrying a gun for safety in an environment that we share specifically in what could be a dangerous situation... on my time and for my dog as well as myself. Anyone who thinks a gun is the answer for security for anyone, in my opinion has a few loose screws and I don't want to be around if those screws fall out. Accidents happen, people are unpredictable and that includes myself. There are many other ways to deal with possible danger. Problem is... I get my food from this place and also my clothes are washed by someone who volunteers. Having my clothes washed has been a huge help for me in both time and expense. Not having the cost of food for myself and Mo has afforded me the ability to pay rent every month. A twenty five year old guy from the streets came up to me crying and said that through music, that is the only way he can get a release from his mind constantly having thoughts. He said he came up to me to thank me for the release. I'm feeling very insecure right now with the thought of having to give up two basic needs being fulfilled... food and my clothing getting washed. This is when I really miss my friend John who passed away a little over a week ago. For the last thirty years he was the person I would bounce my thoughts and decisions off of, to know spiritually what direction to take.
November 10, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
The day was spent distracting myself from the habit of trying to create a work routine as well as fundraising. I had the Traveling Piano out on the street but basically used it to hangout with people.
November 09, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
What a challenge and not necessarily what I prefer to be doing but I know always as I look back on life, I do the right things, exactly what I should be doing. My blog photos more and more are going to be less and less of nature and varieties of locations... like, just one location which is not fun for this blog but, this blog is not bringing in any money which is a must immediately. So, we spent the day on the corner of Utah and Main streets in Downtown Las Vegas at the Traveling Piano Photo Art gallery studio in the waiting room of an auto repair shop. The photos to sell can't go up yet because they need shade from the sun that sears through the windows. More setup material and product to sell are needed. But, I'm putting in the time, one foot in front of the other and hopefully everything will materialize. I spent nine hours at the shop today mostly trying to design promo material that takes for ever on the old backup computer I'm using. I interact with people on the street with the music only when they engage me from the outside while I'm inside because that truck piano batteries are running low and only get about an hour a days use and the piano itself is just beat. So the less I use it the more time that will by in staying alive. I met an amazing musician from Puerto Rico as well a classical pianist with her dog and just a bunch of really cool Las Vegas locals. Please send a contribution... www.paypal.me/dannykean
November 08, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
I only played for the first dinner only of the Mission Center today. I was just too tired and I didn't want to play for the second part. It is as simple as that. I must give myself this freedom. Through the years I have been one hundred percent committed to what I have been doing but now the commitments need to transition for the sake of survival. There are so many ways I can make money. Finding the way, in my way is so very difficult. My way has been the only way possible for me throughout life. I use guidelines, mostly spiritual. Working for the money... did that done that. Working for the love... did that done that. Now to find a balance between the two... any reality of that in my brain does not exist so I just have to fake it until I make it. To be interested in making money while also keeping the Traveling Piano mission going... I know that is a no brainer for most people and have heard how they do it a thousand times. My brain only works for me. It is what it is. This blog takes time as well as the processing of pictures but... it also serves as a needed diary and for calrity of mind in a way.
November 07, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
We were at the Mission Center for the dinner as usual. I used to save the days energy for that but now I must also put energy into working with the Traveling Piano and the street to promote support while also trying to create a Photo Gallery store while also doing my usual online work while also continuing with basic life upkeep. There were moments where I just sat without being able to think. So I took a few breaths and just kept going. Doing the Traveling Piano work as usual the Fun, Friendship and Respect with Empowerment and Inspiration while at the same time trying to infuse promoting support for it is exhausting!
November 06, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
I walked into the City Hall Council Chambers today planning not to speak and without my script but once there, knew I had to take a stand. Spent 9 hours there, talked in public for the 1st time politically. Of course, I fumbled in forgetting 95% of what I wanted to say! It is what it is. Pretty sure my friends in the room expected more of me because I can talk a good talk in print and during interactions with the Traveling Piano but, outside of my comfort zone... forget it! LOL The mayor choose to favor business over moral leadership and of course most of council kissed her butt to follow. It was about the soul of Las Vegas. They decided to criminalize anyone who they can find sleeping on a sidewalk or setting up an encampment. $1000 fine or jail if there is space open in the "for profit" shelters and they don't use them... of course the targets will only be in an area of the city deserving of political favor. Of course it will simply empower bad police seeds in the department to misuse the law in order to get rid of humanity deemed not worthy of living. Most people think of Las Vegas Strip as Las Vegas. The super commercial end of the strip is actually more in a town called Paradise which is adjacent to the City of Las Vegas. Mo was with me the entire time and he was 100% amazing the entire time.
He knew we were in a strange environment and he knew how he had to act, just to follow my lead. I love my dog so much and I love how he just wants to be with me and how he will cooperate when needed and always without force, fear, manipulation, consequences, coercion or over controlling. The type of politicians I spent today with, have no clue how to govern with leadership as I do with Mo... nor do they want to know, even with those they love dearly. Having been like and raised like them, having acted like them for most of my life... I have found the inability to empower in ways that last a life time... the need for control, comes from a lack of self-respect and the fear of that realization for themselves. People like this have never been given the "feeling" of respect to have it. In this world I have found that really is a "but for the grace of god" issue. As a result they lack the gratitude to create needed for compassion and empathy, in order to bestow respect onto the world, on the world's terms, on the level and terms of others as needed individually, unless... it is to validate others who demand respect from them in what is almost always a disingenuous way. Lastly, they know not of negotiation, boundaries or limits unless forced into them or they enter into them in self-centered ways.
November 05, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
I reached a turning point today. Tomorrow there is a city council meeting about a proposed bill that will fine anyone sleeping on a sidewalk $1000 or jail them if they don't use a shelter space when it exists. Of course thats criminalizing the homless, the total pits but really the city wants to set up an encampment about an hour away to just get rid of them. The shelters want to make money off of them as does the legal system and government agencies. The rich just want them gone or dead. It is all so ridiculous that I have spent many hours drafting a comment I want to make about it all from my perspective with solutions. I want the reality of the matter stated and to call out why those with power and influence want to just rid people deemed undesirable by objectifying their lives. After finishing the speech today, I've spent two weeks on it, I decided not to do it. I will go to the meeting to protest but will not speak. Too much of my ego is in it.
I realized that I will be on television, that there will be many homeless that know me there. I will create not good feelings with my straight shooting from the hip kind of way and... it really does not feel like my saying something will effect anything. It will just feed my ego in a selfish way. It takes years to create relationships that really affect anything and there is only so much energy I have for my homeless friends. Doing what I now do is enough and it is more effective than trying to keep inhumane laws from going into effect. Also, I will soon be homeless myself if I do not take care of my financial problem. I must either raise money or work with the Traveling Piano. I do not have it in me to do both. So the Traveling Piano is going to have a lot less time on the streets and most of my homeless commitments will need to stop until I get on my feet. Volunteers at my commitments care that I am there, appreciate and enjoy the Traveling Piano but not enough to help support my being there, unfortunately. So, it all is what it is. I miss my friend John. He is the one I would go to and run my thoughts by, my wall to bounce off of. He passed away this week.
November 04, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
Five hours of the day was spent trying to put up curtains, just four panels two rods and hooks. It hurts to write that but its the truth. I guess there is a lot of clutter in my mind subconsciously. The curtains are for this photo gallery space, the waiting room of a car repair shop I have to use of which I don't have the money to create enough photos for and keeping the space clean with dirty car mechanics all around, a guy living in it and other nefarious characters in and out... its all so distracting. Later ,Mo and I went to our usual Monday commitment at the field. After about an hour and a half the piano batteries went dead. They need to be replaced. But enough people had a go at it musically before it all ended. The piano itself is almost unworkable at times. The temperatures now colder, that does not help anything. Although personally, I'll take the cold over the heat. Also, it is dark now and seeing what is going on around me in the dark is getting more difficult.
November 03, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
The Traveling Piano now has 19 subscribers which equals almost twenty one percent of "basic" monthly income needs! There are no tips, fees, or commercialization affiliation associated with the Traveling Piano. That fact is part of the brand. There are no sources of support other than from you my friends. Would you please help bring that percentage up for our basic needs before we go down into a darkness never to return? There are also other costs. This month I must raise money for truck insurance, website costs and there are piano and computer needs as I do not use a cell phone for my work... and more. If you need help or have a problem accessing the subscription link, email me and I will walk you through the process. There is a contribute button to the left of this page. Here's looking forward...
November 02, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
I'm still thinking about those school kids I spent a short time with yesterday and the teaching of compassion, empathy and community service through volunteerism in school programs! Here in Las Vegas the students do a few hours a year of mandatory community service. I wonder how much the school programs link with the volunteer work specifically with the idea of compassion and empathy. I had to sleep in today I was so exhausted. Everything is moving slow. Mo is my enjoyment in life. I want to live as long as he is alive. Living and working in and with drug addicts, alcoholics, thieves, a basically a dirty environment as well as this tiny room I am in with old clothes and resources that have been constantly dwindling less and less is really getting to me. I've been less out in nature because I just have not had time or gas money. My friend John who passed away a few days ago weighs very, very heavy on my mind. This is going to sound very odd to a lot of people but I am thankful that I have a close personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Not at all in a religious way or in sharing the fact in community with others or most especially in wanting others to have what I have... it is very personal in just knowing there is more going on than the physical we perceive and spirit is alive and I am never alone... ever. People living on the streets remind of this. It is also how many of them keep going with life. Faith and hope and a knowing of the truth of God's love is a wonderful thing. I have had spirit reach out to me through people and circumstances several times in life so I know and have experienced my truth. Onward with the music...
November 01, 2019
Las Vegas, Nevada
Yesterday while at the rescue mission there was a group of Orthodox Jewish sophomore school students volunteering to serve dinner from Los Angeles and I was impressed in watching them enough to offer some Traveling Piano time for them during their lunch break today. As soon as the words came out of my mouth I was like, damm why did I say that because I knew I was going to have a full day with it being First Friday downtown where I set up the picture gallery on the street all day and night but, I'm glad I followed through. I had no choice, it is not in my constitution to not follow through. There were about sixty kids and they were no work for me at all. They just went right for it with the piano and singing and taking pictures and having fun and enjoying Mo all by themselves. It has been a while since doing something like that. We were at Three Square, the food bank in Las Vegas which I have heard about weekly since I arrived here. What a huge, impressive, posh, non-profit building and setup that place is! All afternoon I set up for tonight. There were less people this time then last month! I won't be wasting my time with First Friday again until the street really gets going. If I was up by all the First Friday activities, I would have sold a lot of photos but I must keep with my agenda for community and being at the photo gallery here in my end of the neighborhood.
I sold two photos... whoop de doo! I took ten bucks from a guy because the wanted to tip me and began to feel hurt I wouldn't take the money and also ten bucks from a woman who argued with me over tipping. Some people really want to interact from their point of view even though I try to explain that I am the giver in the situation and if they want to reciprocate which I did not ask for, it should be in a way that I will appreciate and that is to purchase a photo. The piano batteries are going dead. Thats going to cost three hundred bucks! Of course I don't have that so... onto my friend John who just passed, the grief began to express itself through my music several times tonight and it was beautiful. I could feel the love, acceptance, poignancy and a little sadness in it. I'm going to miss John, I already do. I am very, very exhausted in working with the photos, creating fun for others, trying to deal with grief... the fun for others part helps concerning the grief. My need for money issue is unnerving. I have truck insurance and website bills to add onto everything else this month. Then there is the issue of the piano, the piano batteries, the truck itself, my clothes are really in need of replacement, it takes three times the normal about of time to do computer work because everything is a work around with it barely working... blah, blah, blah. Thank God for Mo!