Raggin' Piano Boogie

HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010

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August 31, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

We drove out to Redstone in Lake Meade today, well really tonight... to be in the quiet, in the dark, in the desert. For some reason I was afraid before to be an hour out of the city in the dark. Since being there with other people a week or so back, now I am not afraid. It is an amazingly new environment from the daytime quiet and peace we are used to. I brought my lounge chaIr, Mo sat on my lap and we stared at the stars and the milky-way in silence for hours. There were ten kids shot in Alabama yesterday and today... absolute crazy in Texas. So much, I wish the resources and support existed for me to go be in the towns with those communities with the Traveling Piano as I have been in the past. It would be so helpful in keeping spirit alive. I'm really good in tragic environments with a proven track record to show it.

August 30, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

For the first time ever, I woke up wondering where I was and what day of the week it was. Everything was confusing but soon enough I got my wits about me. It was two thirty in the afternoon so there was not much time before going to the mission center and of course my creating music kicked ass! Ha, with all the fresh energy of the day and people were noticing it too. Afterwards I made some dInner for myself and went out to do my nightly water route. I also sent an email request to try and get together with the VP of human resources I know from a major casino. There are a few ideas to pursue with no idea of how to pursue them. For tomorrow, Lake Meade under the stars is on my mind. So is the gas money to get there. Recording music from the piano, I really miss that, in fact having fun playing the piano becomes more difficult daily. The keyboard is about dead from use and the elements. This website will also soon be dead because I do not have the funds to renew the server next month. Ha, and then there is rent for next month! Oh, for the days when I drove around with $30,000 cash in twenty dollar bills hidden behind the seat of my truck from the sale of my home. Now, back then that was fun! It is still fun at times, just in a different way.

August 29, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

At the mission center after creating music for about four hundred friends I noticed many more crates of water had been delivered and were sitting in the parking lot sun cooking in plastic bottles, in the heat. I kept saying to myself, "don't do it" but, I did. After asking if more could be taken for the homeless sleeping on the streets, I loaded six more cases into my truck, then unloaded and carried them upstairs to my room then loaded two cases into the fridge after taking out two cases out to stuff into insulated bags to take out onto the streets. Then I hoofed it out on the streets to distribute a hundred bottles before they got warm because... it is all about the "cold" water when the temperature is over a hundred degrees at night. Then there is the interacting with people in all states of mind to be concerned about. Ninety eight percent of people are nothing but appreciative, maybe two percent are jerks but I must remember they are living in gutters, in the heat, many are mental and lost, tired, etc... This is work! This all began innocently enough. I would take Mo for his walk with a backpack full of bottles of cold water. Then it became about, how many bottles can I get into the backpack. Then I came across all this free water just rotting in the sun that I could not just watch go bad with so many people needing it and now is the time they need it most, not next month. So it will slow down, but right now I need to keep hoofing it.

August 28, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I've stopped beating myself up about my sleep cycle. More work gets done that way. Over three hundred pictures were just added to the galleries. I think I broke my water record last night in giving out about a hundred fifty bottles of cold water bottles from my fridge to people on the streets in the middle of the night. It is still over a hundred degreed at night. A part of me will be glad when the water is used up and I hope a little... that more does not come my way. Still, the care for others is keeping me going. And... they need, want and are appreciative of it. Balance is needed in my life with the work I am doing as in a better life style with my personal life. Clothes, some money to throw around, a better truck, better apartment room, a social life with some different circles of friends... although if I can die just doing what I am doing without the financial difficulty part, that would be great too. Today was supposed to be a nature day. Even though it is not as hot 30 minutes away, could not pull myself out of the hundred and ten degrees where I am downtown.

August 27, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Across from the Salvation Army today I did not have to play music in the heat so much. Everyone else wanted to play and then clouds covered the last hour... thank God! It was a hundred ten degrees. I have had these wild dreams for over thirty years concerning the Traveling Piano. Many of them have come true. Most of my personal dreams have come true in life. Also, many of them have manifested in ways different from what I expected and not exactly my visions, but at the core they have manifested in one way or another. With my age now and for many other reasons, life is slowing down. I wonder constantly if the continued reaching for dreams not yet created is worth the effort or possible. The concept of the "process" has been eluding me and that I have learned and said several times throughout this journey is what it is always about. The goal is not the end all, the process is. This, I need to remember to remember. Joy is in the process as well as the accomplishment. In fact, in the process has much more joy than the end because the end when all is said and done is a fleeting moment in of itself.

August 26, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

The day was very difficult to start. I was to have a colon doctor appointment and an eye doctor appointment. I get one a year and called to reschedule because I just could not get out of bed. At three in the afternoon I got up and readied myself for the field. Thank God I can do this, work in a way that I need to work for myself to get the job done. After the field, Mo and I drove downtown to hand out the bottles of cold refrigerated water. I have been doing that every night. There is no way I would have the energy to do what I do without total rest. It is over a hundred degrees even in the dark. The field was chaotic in that, so many people wanted to play on the piano. I just let five little kids go at it on their own because there were two many other things to deal with like helping a few older people unpack food from their vehicles. And then I wanted to create a little music too. Julian Castro showed up to do his bidding in the run for president. The first thing I did was walk over to his people and tell them I did not want them filming with cameras, the truck, myself or Mo.

Then a few of them came over to me saying that he would like to talk with me and I said sure... without the cameras and they walked away, lol. Then I saw him walking down the street so I went up to him and said, your aids said you wanted to talk with me and when I said no cameras they walked away and at that point they all chimed in we were just coming to you. I thought, yea right. Anyway I said that I did want to talk, I wanted to say that everyone running is doing the same old with ideas and promises and all of it will be mute if the election is not secure. No candidate is talking about that fact. Then he began in complicated detail about what they were doing and I stopped him saying that no one is going to comprehend any of that just keep it simple and talk about it in simple terms constantly. Then I told him that the majority of the people serving food and giving out resources tonight as well as those on the street support trump.

He asked why that was in surprise and I said, because they have an emotional disconnect with the reality of what s going on and those serving as volunteers... their sense of need in giving comes from an self-serving mindset. So, I left feeling energized with life, with a sense of purpose. Why can't I wake up feeling this way? The heat... ugh... and thank God Mo is feeling better with his leg. Which reminds me, I asked someone to help me when Mo passes. I have a spot in mind where I want to bury him when it is time and will need help. So now... I have someone who will take him and can trust he will be in good hands if I should go before he does, and that same person will help me let go of his body when its time. That... is going to be tough because Mo is a constant "go to" many times a day for my simple hug needs as well as my comforting him... he helps me to wake up and we sleep our backs connected to each other every night. He also lays between my legs for hours as I work in bed every day. Mo is my constant comfort blanket.

August 25, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

We started the day at Veterans Village for the food bank commitment we attend once a month. We met some new people and everyone there just makes me feel so alive and grateful. Afterwards, I collapsed from the heat (over a hundred degrees) for two and a half hours, got up and took out about sixty cold bottles of water to give to people living on the streets and then for the rest of the day I could not get anything accomplished all the while beating myself up over that fact. Every day I inch more towards being homeless myself. I just cannot bear the thought of fundraising again and going back to what I did before this journey is not possible.

There is no desire to do anything new. To move forward with dreams created... I'm have not been doing that either because of mental, physical and emotional depletion or I just feel finished with life. The second is not true because I have learned that feelings are not always facts and my spirit tells me there is more living to do. It is what it is. I have one more rent payment, the website and internet costs for the month and truck insurance money, very little for gas and food, then who knows... but I can say this, that I will continue with the musical fun, friendship and respect... empowerment and inspiration and without fees, tips or commercial affiliation for as long as possible... still going everyday since 2006!

August 24, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I been thinking about how I want to spend every moment possible with Mo until the end of time. I wish I could be stronger in not saying this, but I know I will be lost when he goes and just hope I can be response able enough to not stay lost forever. This is why I must begin to prepare now. I must be willing to say at least say I will continue onward if I must. Although it may sound sound dramatic, trust me... it is all as literal as can be. We can't go hiking because of the heat and now his leg but just as the sun began to go down I decided to take a ride out to Lake Meade. Members of the Las Vegas Astronomy club were gong to hang out at a place called Redstone and I wanted to look through a few telescopes. Mo could hang out and move around as much as he wanted to which was not very much. His breathing was labored. The stars were just awesome. I've never seen the Milky Way so large and some guy was there who showed me how to leave the exposure going on my camera for 30 seconds! And of course, I created music on the Traveling Piano in all the skies glory. I saw the rings of Saturn and the storms of Venus for the first time! The quiet was beyond peaceful.

August 23, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I woke up at 7am after four hours of sleep and thought... this is great I'm goIng to stay up and then get to bed early. The only problem was how to get through the mission center concerning energy and then remembered that their was an energy drink in my fridge so that would get me through. I forgot to take the drink with me and there was no way I was going to make it through the second hour of creating music but someone had a drink there and gave it to me. That drink should have been drunk at twelve noon, lesson learned. After creating music I wanted to make sure to exhaust myself out so I took to the streets with a hundred bottles of cold water for people laying on sidewalks. None of that worked. I was still up at 3am probably because I am worried about Mo. He sprained a leg or something, none of my exploring his leg movements hurts but he's hurting big time and he can't put any weight on it. When he hurts I sort of sink emotionally into unfathomable depths. I saw when it happened, it was like a little twist when walking normally. Then I'm seeing where he was bit on the lip a few months ago that created a serious infection... its acting up again. I'll see if we can hold out until Monday before going to the vet and hope for the best.

August 22, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

There is no question about the fact that when I am rested, my piano playing is remarkably different from when not. About fifty people came up to me individually today to say I was fantastic. That is because I had only been up for a few hours and was full of anger. The anger was towards myself about only gettIng up a few hours before. It served for some intense musical energy from channelIng it. There were crates of bottled water still sitting in the intense heat on the mission center parking lot. Water cooking in plastic for over a week can't be good. I took ten cases home to give out on the streets and luckily my neighbor, the auto place that repairs my truck without cost, let me store it all in the auto shop's waiting area because there is no room to store it in the small living space that I have. Wow, I created a lot more work for myself with all this water but... It is what I do.

August 21, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

My procrastination is evil. I've begun to pray for the ability to move forward verses just sit around waiting to die. I mean my life is not miserable these days, the financial outlook certainly is. A large part of me does not want to show the difficult side of this journey and I know how people want and need the empowerment and inspiration this blog can... and has offered in the past and how healing it can be in general as well as how people want nothing but goodness for me. Never the less, the purpose of all this from the start was "for better or worse." This blog was never meant for entertainment purposes. It was created for the sake of accountability and as an example of "It is what It is." I know without question that when all is said and done the overall picture will be that of a total success. That has already happened. Success takes work to achieve and the work process is not perfect and always fun... for anyone. My life is full of love, joy, times of peace with sharing and contribution from both within and without... as well as having downsides at the same time. It is all about what I choose to live with in the present moment.

August 20, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

This morning I got up for a doctors appointment with six hours sleep. So, as in the past I challenged myself to stay up all day with the hope of getting to bed early tonight. That did not work as it is now one in the morning and I'm stIll going. Maybe it was the energy drink I took around 4pm. That was the first one of those I took in years. There is no maybe, I know that is the reason even though I worked to exhaust myself since taking it. Mo and I played with music across the street from the Salvation Army in a hundred and five degree heat for two hours. Six people got onto the Traveling Piano for some musical fun. Then... once it got dark I drove around and walk to give out about a hundred and thirty bottles of cold water to people on the streets. Easily, I could have given out five hundred. The amount of people living on the streets is growing.

Still, energy going... I took Mo for a walk around town. Oh well, so much for an early night and getting up early in the morning. When I finally crash it is gong to be for a long time. Notice came today for this website renewal and easily I could go into panic mode. I'm just going to have to ask people for money again. I'm asking you. Please create a contribution/subscription on this website to keep the work going without fees, tips or commercial affiliation. The flowers being posted today are from the desert a few months ago. It is time to force myself to get into some nature real soon. Why does everything have to take effort? Always has, I'm guessing by now at age sixty four, it always wIll. That is just something to accept.

August 19, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

We were at the field tonight as with every Monday night. The crowds are getting larger. People are crazy with this heat... that includes me, and Mo too. As time moves on I seeing society in general normalizing those who have and those who are losing what they have through no fault of their own. As well with the attitude of those who have... a class system is developing in our society. I feel a very strong and deep commitment to continue giving people, equally the respect and validation every human being deserves as one and the same in life. The Traveling Piano accomplishes this. I get a lot of enjoyment, total fulfillment interacting with anyone on the street with music, Mo, the Traveling Piano or just with a bottle of water while feeling equal with them and they with me. The most incredible down and out people, unbathed for weeks, sores all over their body, all skin and bones... I look right past all that and see their spirit as alive, interested, creative, caring and appreciative and they just amaze me with their love.

This is the way I always wanted to be with others and I remember clearly when it happened for the first time. It was when my mother was dying of cancer almost thirty five years ago and I was holding her in my arms on her very last ride to the hospital. She looked almost unrecognizable physically but I remember saying over and over to myself, "this is my mom, this is my mommy." I related with and saw her in spirt manifest and it was beautiful, she was beautiful to me in love. This is how I see others physically decrepit on the streets now, as human beings wanting to love and be loved in return. We all really deep down just want to get along with each other and actually help each other get along in life. Sometimes, say those who look down on the homeless, I want to look upon as having less worth than a hundred drug addicted, thieving vermin, lol. But, I just need to take a deep breath and let that go, as well as them... let them go as far away from me as possible with love. Ha!

August 18, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

There are a few reward shows I'v been watching... past Emmy, Academy, Grammy Award Shows and I constantly hear stuff like, "when I was five years old I used to pretend winning this award and it happened." Then I say to myself, "why doesn't that kind of thing happen to me, how can I make dreams come true for myself, what am I doing wrong, how am I blocking them, etc..." When thinking about it I was never taught to dream. I had a practical upbringing, structured for a preplanned, conventional outcome. In fact the very idea of creating dreams in life were repressed. Although, there was one dream that no one was able to repress. From childhood I've only had one dream ever. It has been said here in this blog, I'll say it again and that is to have a dog in my life. To me having that dream manifest has been a bigger win than any other accomplishment award could possibly be and... I've had not one but two! Both Traveling Piano dog Bo and now Mo have been the greatest personal joys of my life without question. The accomplishment through stewardship of both Boner and Mo has been my most fulfilling feeling to date. No one in my life thought I would be capable of owning a dog, even as an adult. That to me is almost unbelievable, but true.

Of course throughout my life, especially during this journey, many new and ongoing dreams have happened. From dreams to passion... as I walked downtown tonight handing out cold bottles of water on the streets, I searched in my mind what I have a passion for. Tapping into any passion is becoming very difficult. Traveling on my own terms, in my own way, in my own time to enjoy nature was a great passion that I do not have the resources for anymore. The Traveling Piano work has always been a passion when I get going with it. It has always been a push to get going or at least ninety percent of the time. This has been a fact. But once I get going, wow! The sharing of this journey online is a passion but I realize as people move more and more away from computers and onto their phones, the sharing is decreasing dramatically. Also, since I am not on the road as I once was and my reach of constant dIfferent and new people is much less. In 2008 I stopped reading this websites stats because there were millions of website hits and I did not want the fun of websites hits to cloud my motives. Creating music for myself, that has been a passion but now with my keyboard instrument less than mediocre, the fun is not there. It serves as a workhorse with purpose. And trust me, it takes a lot of work to play on the piano I now have. I do miss creating music in natural environments.

Relationship with marginalized people to create the respect they deserve as human beings for them... the desire for that has been with me since early childhood. I wouldn't call it nurturing as that sounds too much like cuddling. It is more about the opportunity to relate on equal levels of caring respect and friendship. Fun is an added feature. I have always had a great desire to empower and inspire personal respect for people, especially marginalized people. There has always been an innate compassion and empathy inside of me. As I write this I am realizing for the very first time that my dad had it. He did not have the tools to show it in a personal way but as we got to know each other through the last ten years of his life, as I look back now... I see it clearly. So anyway... that is it for me and passion... except for sex. Ha, I was very, very passionate about sex for a large portIon of my lIfe or maybe that was an obsession? Lol, in any case, that phase has passed for good. Did it, done that, it was great. Back to now... what do I want to do, what can I do at my age (age is a reality) in order to continue with this life I have? As people always say... just keep going Danny.

August 17, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I really pushed myself tonight. In a hundred degree heat Mo and I did two trips downtown to hand out from my refrigerator bottles of cold water to people trying to sleep on the sidewalks with huge cockroaches crawling all over them. The sight of how people are living and in knowing personally how it is not a matter of choice for the overwhelming majority, it is so awful it makes me want to crush those that look down on them. I got about six cases of water from the mission. It was six miles total walking and the carrying about a hundred bottles of water on my back. I know it was crazy but that is how much angst I have been living with. What a great release. My body was in too much shock to go to sleep. Luckily I have some ibuprofen and medication that helped knock me out for ten hours to recover. Earlier I spent an hour in the apartment complex pool. I've been praying for guidance to move forward in life... in as none painful a way as possible. And also, please give me the feeling of effort and desire. I love what I do and I do what I do with the Traveling Pano very well but a large part of it has been about doing it on my terms and in my way. That has worked very well all around but enough is enough. What that last sentence means... I have no idea.

August 16, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

The warping of humanities brain into self-centeredness worldwide on a whole these days, feels like such a regression of self-respect but at the same time, nothing has changed in the world. It is the same as it ever was. Still, I am very distracted wIth it all, racism, nationalistic fascists, trump a morally bankrupt demagogue infecting people's minds with his cancerous disease of self-centeredness, but at the same time it drives me forward daily through anger transformed into service for others. When I go to create music for people who live on the streets at the mission center as we do every Friday, that jolts me out of my self-centered anger and into the present moment of love, friendship, community, respect and fun. Thank God I have been able to create these commitments I have. They give me a feeling of being part of, a purpose but, these days mostly, they are a tool to act out my anger in a positive way. One of the best parts about having a dog in life is that they cannot talk back to you. Most people do not realize that is why they get along with their pets as they do, lol. There is a similarity with music. It is the language of the soul without complicated verbal dynamics.

August 15, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I have a friend who uses her washing machine to wash the clothes of people who do not have a home and/or are too poor to use a laundromat. (that includes me) Everyone can find something to create a needed service for others in a personal way that works for them... that they just "do" or can enjoy doing. Many people are focused on their own neediness and therefore cannot see how not to be needy themselves. Another friend gives hair cuts, another massages to people actually on the streets, some go out with food they made to share or with a few big bottles of gatorade they got on sale... For long term personal benefit, it needs to be at the very least weekly and on a consistent basis for like even just an hour a week. The more you do the less angry, the more powerful, more happy, less sad, frustrated, the more empowered and inspired with a strong ability to stand up to others who need a standing up to... of course I realize also, there are those who don't want any of that... deep down they want the opposite. They end up being the most needy for themselves because there is no help for them. They think they live life in the negative with no time or not enough resources for themselves let alone someone else, or worse... a stranger. Too bad for them. I was soaking in sweat when done creating music at the mission center today. In this heat it took all my energy. Of course for the hundreds of people eating there, it took all their energy just to come and eat in this brutal heat.

August 14, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

It is very hot. Thank God I have air conditioning and it is included in the rent. If I was still in my house it would be costing me $500 a month just for electricity right now! No matter how much water I drink, still it is not enough and functioning in mind and body is a challenge with or without air. Maybe it is because of the small room I am in. An email came through from a girl I met on the streets back a few years ago. Most people have thanked me for changing or affecting their live's in a positive way. This girl was sending me an email to thank me for saving her life. I told her she saved her own lIve through trust, by being open to suggestion through the grace of God. Many people save other people's lives every day in different ways. Mine has been saved at times by several different people. Doctors save millions of lives daily. The email brought into question my need to share the good deeds I do for others and what I am told about. There are several reasons but the most fundamental reason...

I have no basIc "good" self image other than what I have created for myself in life through others who I had to seek out and ask for help from... through the Grace of God. My parents did the best they good and God knows I love them today twenty and thirty years after they have passed as much as I can love but... what they knew suppressed any individual self-image that was mine alone for myself, which is what my life demands. So I have made a practIce with the writings shared. When I write them down they manifest in a more concrete way. I am missing memory links in my brain. This has been both a plus and minus for my life. So there are certain permanent deficiencies I have when remembering say written music, peoples names, what a good person I am... so writing down positives about the Traveling Piano and my life through the years has helped me to continue on a constant, worthwhile path in life. It is the "remembering to remember" that has helped me to save my own life and a large part of that job comes through my writing the good stuff down here on this blog. I must always remember to remember.

August 13, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Across from the Salvation Army today in a hundred an five degree heat, playing the piano with notes sticking and many keys not playing these days is literally a "labor" of love... nothing is going to stop us from the musical fun, friendship and respect! There were a couple hundred people being served dinner and being given food to take with them... Mo and I are in this same spot every Tuesday. Why do this in such heat and with no pay? Because of the two guys who were getting some relief playing on the piano and singing, others that constantly come up and thank us for being there with them, because of a guy who came up to say the I sincerely changed his life for the better forever in our being there today... People exist everywhere in the world who need you to just be with them, nothing more... through difficult times with some validation, reassurance and dignity. I sure as hell need all that from others on a continual basis... more than most. And because of my own trust issues that will be with me until I die, the agenda of my work needs to be one hundred percent unconditional and without an agenda to get paid for it. Because of this, trust is very easy for people, it keeps me humble and sure of myself as no one can place their false motives or intent on me.

August 12, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

At the field tonight we met a bunch of boy scouts. A few of the guys had some experience with a piano. We got there about fifteen minutes later than usual and people were nervous that I wasn't going to show up. Several said... "you are late". Ha, the sun was not as strong but still I had to use the umbrella. One of the guys who brIngs food needed my help so I unpacked his truck for him while picking out food for the week for myself. Then I had to run around and get food for my neighbor. There was not so much piano playing. Most of the people who get on the truck to play do not stay on if I am not there with them. I must remember that everything is most about the personal relating. The music and everything else is simply the catalyst. This computer keyboard of mine is going crazy! When a key is pressed you never know what letter will appear. My body is getting old age marks. It is really weird how new spots just appear out of no where. Eww... I must do something about this website. Unfortunately most people are now using their phone for the internet and this website layout does not work for phones. I saw this blog page on someone's phone and the pictures were almost non-existent in size. In a month I may lose it all anyway because the renewal with the server will cost several hundred dollars and I won't even have the money for rent. Lets get back to the fun. Today was good, everythng is fine. Mo is with me and he is more than everything.

August 11, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

There was some journey relief today! I told myself, get out to Red Rock Canyon for some healing, peace of mind. We found a spot where we could walk into shade. Mo and I walked a little, found a flat rock to lay on, listened to the silence, walked a little, found a flat rock to lay on, took a few minute nap, etc... I took some pictures of rock textures. As we came down the hill we came onto a dry river bed where a couple was sitting waiting for two family members to come down from hiking. Mo went over to see them and a conversation began. They were from Newtown, Pennsylvania, twelve minutes from my old house in Bucks Country PA and had just arrived in Las Vegas for a week vacation last night. Well of course that led to the Traveling Piano. They had never seen me back east but remembered me from the newspaper. When I was working as a performer I used to get a lot of media coverage and when this journey began I got a lot of goodbye coverage. So our encounter was to say the least, fun! They had an identifiable energy about them from where they live that was very comfortable. Of course, it was a home feeling. Like when you go to Brooklyn, NY and just know the way people are down to earth and straight forward in their manner and talk.

Then, as I was about to leave a young guy came off the trail. It was dark. He was doing a meditation hike and was totally open to a Traveling Piano experience. After he left I decided to stay a little longer and create music for myself. A guy who was driving by stopped. Man he says, I thought I was going crazy. I been partying hard all week on the strip and was hiking in the mountains with friends and thought the partying had got to me because I was hearing your music and none of my friends could hear it and it was just so out of this world. That made me laugh because what I do is to create music for people to discover and this was my most favorite and perfect scenario. It brings back many memories from the past with people. So we had some fun with the piano and he left. When I try to think about what I want to do for the future... this is what I want to do, what I've been doing for twelve years. It serves purpose for me, society and the world. It creates goodness on every level... fulfills the need for fun, friendship and respect in the world, human connection with strangers. My work inspires, empowers, creates validation and reassurance of everything that love is and exemplifies that love exist and abounds throughout the world.

August 10, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I got a lot of filing done today. It feels like I should go do something for fun but there is little inspiration to do anything. I've certainly had a lot of fun through the years with this journey, that is for sure. My float came out and I floated in the scummy apartment pool for a little bit. Mo and I took a walk through the inside of the Stratosphere Casino which is two blocks away from where I live. Lol, I've lived here two and a half years and it was the first time! It is just a bunch of gambling machines and stores. There is a Mc Donald's Hamburgers in there! Casinos are not much fun if your not gambling or spending money. A though came through my head that... I'm just waiting to die. Thats a waste of life that MUST change. It is just that, I cannot wrap my head around wanting to do anything needed to make money but something needs to happen quick. I do not want to wait until am desperate but I sort of am right now. My life process can be excruciating. I am aware that I have an intense passion to empower people, inspire, be an advocate for others but it comes out of anger not fun. I realize how significant the music is and how fulfilling the respect is, but again the fun is not there unless I in the work doing it. The inspiration to motivate myself which has been the only way I have been able to ever work, just isn't there these days. I know it is all about the need to work in a different way with more structure and conventional practices in life like going out to find money... again. I must say I had a fantastic ten year run using the equity I had built up in life to not have to worry about money. Then a single person stepped in. Now there are a few people contributing online but its under $200 a month total. Please create a subscription on the Contribute! link.

August 09, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

We went to the mission to create music for the dinner today as usual on Fridays. The heat may be getting to me, I hope that is what it is. I'm tired, lethargic, depressed a bit... need a change of scenery as I do not feel very inspired. The little room I have been living in may be getting to me. The apartment complex certainly is. The place is heading downhill (more so) fast. The internet is down and they do not care. Last week when it went down they did care. That was because it was the first of the month and many residents pay their rent online. So you can be sure they got it working real quick. Anyway, I'm working to go with the flow and to allow more non-internet activity into my life, which is a good thing. Part of me wants to put a fire under the ass of the management to become responsible but I'm not in the position to handle the fallout from doing that because the manager will just do something to try and make my life miserable for complaining. Two years ago I was still fighting the good fight, and winning when needed. I'm wondering if not doing or saying anything... has anything to do with my getting old or if I really am just taking advantage of the opportunity to practice going with the flow of life. Mo reminds me that the flow of life is worth it. He's my joy and I know I am his joy.

August 08, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

It is time for a trip to Mount Charleston as it has been a half year since we were last there. It is only an hour away but I need to stay aware of money with gas prices, etc... Mo and I headed to the Mission Center today. At night we took a walk and another homeless guy passed us, said Hi and also "Bless You" as he knew us from somewhere. Thats a far cry from some guy acting out on me at the Rescue Mission while I was creating music. He came up to me and started screaming, "Your a fucking faggot" while I calmly replied, "well yes I am." Lol, then he went away and came back at it again. I stopped playIng so everyone could hear and about ten homeless guys around me jerked up and yelled, "Yo John" they were all ready to have my back. SecurIty came and he started called them faggots so it wasn't personal. He was what they call eighty-sixed as in he cannot return for dinners any more. It happens. I am hoping it had nothing to do with Monday night at the field. Even though this was nothing I will ruminate on it for a few days to get it out of my system. I've got a real thick, paper thin skin that will be with me until I die. It is what it is.

August 07, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

It rained today. That is rare for this time of year. It also cooled the air down to a low of eighty nine for a short while and that felt almost cool compared to the constant over a hundred degrees for weeks now! I forced myself to go out for a little bit. I'm definitely emotionally stuck. As far as moving on I just can't decide what I want to do and it is a serious problem but I just don't care. I was in a mall and could feel people, strangers wanting to acknowledge me in positive ways. At a field where I took Mo for a short walk, a homeless guy came up to say hi. He knew us from a few years ago, had left the area and returned. There were many homeless people in the park and they were sending me good vibes. One guy came up to shake my hand. It was a little strange as he did not know me. The check out guy at the supermarket genuinely asked how I was doing, am I doing ok, is everything alright? The care was so strong I asked in return, why do I look like I'm havIng trouble? Lol, this has happened before in my life where out of no where people show me kindness and validation, like several in one day. I'm certainly not consciously creating it and in fact the experiences jolt me out a self-centeredness in my mind. I'm walking through the world ignoring the world when it happens.

August 06, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Check this out! Joseph Carrabis a terrific author who I follow on Twitter created a Win-Win Give-A-Way for you to help support the Traveling Piano! Here is the link and the backstory: Win-Win Give-A-Way for Danny Kean ... I could write what happened here, but it is all there. When someone cares like this it really gets me going as in with a feeling of responsibility. It is like if they care about my work how can I not care... I owe it to them to care about myself? Whatever it takes. He first sent me a ten dollar contribution. That led to a ten dollar monthly subscription which led to his contribution idea to help me out. He created the webpage and put on it, word for word our email exchanges, ha... which felt just a little teeny weeny bit uncomfortable because they were personal but hey, this entire journey is about being personal!

August 05, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

The Traveling Piano shade umbrella broke. George, who works at Quality Auto around the corner from where I live fixed it in five minutes. I told him that very few people would have been able to to that. He said he knew. The guy really is amazing. He's the guy who fixed the trucks air conditioner that no one could fix for thirty years! And he does it as a friend. No money needed. At the field my friend Brian who cleans the streets while food and resources are given out... he came up and handed me twenty bucks. This has happened a few times over the years and is a very special feeling. Of course he knows I need it but it came through the feeling of his being a brother, a friend, something you just do because you can, know its needed and know it will be appreciated and its a good thing to do. Like someone just buying a gift for a friend because they know they will like it. Let me tell you, feelings of experiences like that in my life I can count on one hand. A guy who lives on the street came up to me and says... I've been watching you from a distance now for over a year and just want to tell you how much I appreciate you and what you do.

He said there have been several times where he was having the worst of days, the very bottom of the pit kind of day and will come into the Rescue Mission for dinner and I'll be playing that "Bugs Bunny" type of music (the Ragtime, Boogie Woogie or just my upbeat Improvising energy) and... it will just change his life in a second! He wanted to give me a hug and I was a little resistant because he was a little scuzzy but I did it and was so glad I did. His love came through strong! Then another guy came up and said how irritating my music is, the same old, same old every week. Lol... As I was about to leave an older guy and girl came up to say they were afraid a bunch of people were out to attack them and they used my friend Brian's phone to call the police. They asked me for a ride and there was no way, I would not even let them in the truck to wait, I would not have even let them use my phone but... I did wait with them until the police arrived... with my lead pipe next to me. There is a fine line when helping people. Boundaries and limits play out big as does trust and care concerning alienating people and keeping out of relationships they have with others.

August 04, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

My computer is acting up again. Every "i", "I" and "8" must be copied and pasted as I type. Is that insane or what, lol? I have an external keyboard but cannot use it while laying down or the computer is in my lap as I am used to. Lets see how long this will last. I've been staying up until six in the morning and sleeping until three in the afternoon. This schedule has been working because there is nothing to do with the sun out with it being a hundred ten degrees. The day was spent processing Traveling Piano pictures which I have been behind in doing. Dealing with the inevitable future concerning no money coming in and no backup supporting me... I just can't deal with it, yet. The future concerning the world's affairs... the only thing that seems to grab my interest is that of caring for people and calling out those who reject caring with warped minds or the objectification of humanity. If you don't care, I won't incite any interaction. But, if someone tries to give me their opinion and especially concerning the recent gun massacres and it does not fit mine... watch out because I hold nothing back! Get Rid of the Guns.

August 03, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Tonight the Las Vegas Astronomical Society was having an annual community event at Red Rock Canyon in the dark. My friend Keith is the president of the club. I met him at this event last year so Mo and I went back to create music again under the stars with everyone. It was very dry and warm but still a lot of fun and I was reminded once again how I need to share the piano with other parts of Las Vegas community then just with the homeless. The night reminded me of the diversity of people who live here and the diversity of communities was a major factor in making Las Vegas my home. I swear there is a strange energy going on with me for the last two weeks. Sometimes my computer keyboard works and randomly it gives me problems. Other tmes it works like normal except for barley seeing through the worn out screen. The Traveling Piano keyboard was working tonight mostly, the volume control was working a little and that has been randomly on and off, my brain the same thing, Mo's behavior has been off... there is a fruit fly type nat just one, that follows me around my room.

If I'm laying in bed it is in my face, sitting in a chair same thing, in the bathroom, at the kitchen area sink... when I kill it another appears just one, its been going on for weeks and is driving me crazy. Back east there was a spider like this and it was a cyclical happening for years. I know when I write personal stuff in this blog it scares people away but lol, it is what it is. When I was younger and found unexpected personal Information on people's blogs it made me "very" uncomfortable. Ha, this blog has always been personal. So anyway, tonight I met a woman who for the last nine years has been fasting five days a week while eating only two. She does what is called the snake diet. Two Ukrainian women got onto the Traveling Pano and I loved that because my mother was Ukrainian. A brother and sister originally from Mexico created music together for the first time. Time was spent with two young musicians, one a senior in high school the other just graduated... a couple of people on dates... it was a very fulfilling night of friendship between strangers. More of this please? If only funding would come through.

August 02, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

We created music at the Rescue Mission today for about six hundred people, nothing new. I woke up at six in the morning! That is very new, eh? Spent two hours on the phone with social security getting no where, took a nap in the afternoon and then drove to the Rescue Mission. I wish every day could be like this. Waking up early feels more productive. At night we walked up the street to the First Friday Downtown event. While sitting at a friends food truck for about an hour, I tried to wrap my head around doing events like this as I did for twenty years prior to this journey. The journey began because I was so burnt out of doing events like this. I'm still burnt out but could do it if I was presented in a respectable way. That would take a lot of work. And, I don't want to make money unless it is a lot of money.

I like what I have been doing for the last twelve years... not making money. My friend revealed his politics and adoration of trump. Words cannot describe my adamant disappointment. Every time I discover a friend like this, it feels like another nail in the coffin for humanity. The reasons are different for different people and always come from a serious character flaws. Through the years it has been serious enough now for me to cut off relationships but a way must be found to coexist... until enough is enough. So I just state very strongly that I don't want to hear any of theIr shIt, none of it. He said he understands, it is like talking about religion. I said no, it is much worse as peoples lives are a stake and in immediate danger. Lets get back to the musical fun, friendship and respect.

August 01, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Today was very strange. Physically and mentally I was totally out of it. The issue was not that I could not think but that I did not want to. I laid in bed sleeping until three thirty in the afternoon. Mo knew something was up. When I'm not feeling well he does something very amazing. In bed when am on my side he lays his head on my back as tender as can be to let me know he cares for a moment and then stretches his back longwise against mine to be as physically connected as possible and just stays there sleeping with me to comfort me. I know he's hungry, wants to get up, etc... on some level, but also know that giving me comfort is his priority. Finally, I got out of bed took a shower and went to play music for the rescue mission with about four hundred people as we have done every Thursday and Friday for a few years now. It felt all day like I was living in two dimensions of reality, very hard to explain. The money situation is overwhelming, not stressful because I think its past that level. Going into a hopeless mode seems to be the way but that is just not how I operate.

So, there is sort of nothing in my brain right now, it is in shut down mode. I was in my apartment complex pool two days ago thinking about how a mass shooting was due to happen and at that very moment a mass shooting happened in California. For those that know my journey, these unfortunate happenings have been a huge part of the Traveling Piano's journey. Emotionally, the sadness can shut me down if I do not stay aware of just how deep the sadness goes each time. There is without question a psychic connection with these events beyond my understanding. I do hope this blog takes a turn back into synchronistic and spontaneous, inspirational people interactions and travel fun. When I think about it, there have been many dark times through the years, I've just never focused on them in this blog. It is not dark by the way right now... it just might seem that way in my writing. I have always lived in the light as well as the dark at the same time. What comes out of me in any given moment... is what it is. When I am am in work mode always, it is light only. That s the job, the commitment, the professionalism, desire, the intent.