Raggin' Piano Boogie


HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010

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March 31, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

We were at Veterans Village today on the strip for the food bank. It is amazing that I have been able to be consistent for over two years with this last Sunday of the month commitment. It helps that I can get some food there as an incentive. Today there was practically nothing to be had. I've been watching the cost of food go up and the supplies going down over the last few months everywhere. Guess who is feeling it most? Food banks and the people who need them to survive. Afterwards, the day was so nice I could not resist getting out to another food serving area. A place I've been to in my neighborhood several times now. I need to get a sense of who I start a conversation with because everyone is different and often fragile emotionally as well as mentally. It can be difficult as so many people know me and especially if they have been on the Traveling Piano even years ago. I don't remember if we have interacted or not and do not want to hurt their feelings.

As I talked with one guy it brought to mind how I was tortured by others in many ways for many years of life... listening to their inability to trust their own inner voice and putting that on me... calling out what I knew was right for me as an individual a cop out, thin skinned, undisciplined, misdirected, on and on... it happened with religion, relationships, sex, family, money, the work I choose... But, in the end... the truth of spirit has always won out and the truth of spirit can only come from myself. The guy I was talking with who lives on the street was saying how he knew he was doing the right thing for himself. Whereas when I was younger, I would think as I was taught that he was mentally unstable, wrong, fooling himself, coping out, damaged, etc... I now am able to trust his soul, respect and appreciate his knowing for himself what is right for himself and, if I can... I will help him find his best comfort zone to the best of my ability. Of course I also have boundaries and limits for myself. Also, I am writing about one specific individual only. We tend to lump thoughts into groups of people and not respect the choices of each individual... individually.

March 30, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

This picture posted today makes me think... where childhood innocence and play, love, music, fun, friendship, respect and a pup on truck meet... on the Traveling Piano here in Las Vegas, Nevada. My mind keeps flipping back and forth between making money and doing my work and how to do both at the same time... that will work for me in a successful way. More so, it is a desire and energy issue. Whether I want to go back to making money or just die. There is a twelve year back story to that sentence and the story is all here written down in this blog. At this point in my life I would like to have something I've never had before and that is sustainability. But what is sustainability? It is as relevant as time which is an illusion as we all know. For the last two days I've written the first two parts of what I tell everyone when they get onto the piano to play for the first time. Here is the third part. I tell them to play their third note and then I say, A bird makes three sounds and they call it music. If you make three sounds... is it not music that you are also creating?

March 29, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Friday at the mission center... I'm thankful I have a baby grand piano to play on every week. Of course I wouldn't tell any management there because they would not appreciate it and try to use the fact in someway. It still boggles my mind that I have been there consistently for over a year two days a week and not a sign of appreciation has ever been extended by the board or anyone who runs the place. They could care less. Everyone knows about me but I've only met two administrators once, and that was because I approached them... two new ones to tell them they need to show more appreciation to their volunteers. They said that was going to happen. I'm still waiting. The place is run by volunteers. But, I'm not there for them. I'm there for my "peeps" from the streets and they... tell me every time they see me how much they appreciate me and Mo and our music. So, to keep going from yesterday, I'm going to write the second part of what I say to everyone when I share the Traveling Piano with them. Here goes: When you play that first note, that one note, play it like you mean it! When you say what you mean and mean what you say... thats the truth. Everyone will like it. Everyone knows and trusts the truth. People can even smell the truth! This is why when I play it is impossible to play a wrong note... when I mean what I am saying clear and strong even if that strong is a tender strong. Then, people know what I am saying.

March 28, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

We were at the mission creating music for the dinner, about six hundred fifty dinners. I'm thankful I don't have to eat there everyday. It is the best of the worst left over, going stale and fake food that people, organizations and companies donate as a right off on taxes. It gets cooked and sometimes it is ok but never special. I don't know how many times I've written the routine I share with everyone who gets on the Traveling Piano here in this blog. But this is what I have said to over seventy thousand individuals through the years. It was the very first thoughts back in 2006 that I had in creating the first note of my own music that was significant. Here goes: Keep it Simple. Just start with one note. Hold it down and own it. Do not let it go. It is yours. You made it. Who is to say it is right or wrong, good or bad, enough or not? No one. If they don't like it, tell them to take a hike. (my choice of phrasing and words at this point depends on who I am talking to, sometimes its... tell them to fuck off.) Listen to it. Enjoy it. Those were the first thoughts that began to create a huge paradigm shift for my life and that I carry with me everyday and began this journey.

March 27, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Today was magical once I got going... after two in the afternoon. Mo and I headed out not knowing where to go, only that I needed to get some nature into my life. We ended up inside Redrock Canyon after trying to decide whether to go inside or outside, south of the park to find First Creek Trail where there is still water running from the winter snows. The Oak Creek Canyon trail is where we ended up but of course I rarely stay on path, so we wondered off and actually found First Creek. I can't remember when I last stayed to just sit in one spot. I am always moving, climbing, whatever but, in this spot I sat at least a half hour if not more just listening to the babbling brook running through yellow and white boulders in the trees and with spring grass everywhere. I was in heaven. Mo jumped into the water in one spot over his head. I wanted to stay and get a good picture of the water when the sun was not so bright but, thought I'd better to start getting back to the truck. And then, we got lost, really lost. Everything is so green right now it is difficult to find markers. The height of the brush, the landscape is all the same level green up to about four feet high. My truck parked in the distance was not visible. I looked for large stones to stand on top of with the hope to see some people walking. I could see the highway but it was "very" far away. Then the sun went behind the mountains.

Then I began to hoof it towards the highway because I was zig zagging back and forth getting no where. Mo, unfortunately... cactus needles covered the ground like we have never experienced before. I had to stop almost every minute because one would get stuck in his paws. He was beginning to have a difficult time and is also showing his age concerning strength and energy. We were practically running to the highway toward parked cars while realizing they where parked outside of the park... a couple miles south of it. I had to get back into the park before it closed and it was getting dark. The entrance was about sixteen miles away and it is a one way road. I began asking people for a ride to the exit where I would need to walk in a mile or so and then another mile to the trail parking lot where the truck was parked. Getting caught in there after hours carries a hefty fine. The third person I asked gave me a ride to the exit. While I was racing in to the truck I was thinking how there have always been people who cannot trust giving a stranger a ride. I understand that but, there have always been, there are... and will always be those willing to be helpful without fear. I really appreciated the ride. Mo and I reached the trail road and a van pulled in and stopped. I asked if they were going in and they said, "no, but do you want a ride in"? Wow, it was like they pulled in for us. It was a perfect opportunity for a musical thank you. Can we talk adrenaline rush? We all met outside the park and had a Traveling Piano experience. They were two couples from Portland, Oregon... I think... my memory, ugh.

Almost instantly more people began to show up. It was not a good time for a crowd but as the first people left there was enough time... before it got pitch back to have some fun with four other people standing around. Of course they very curious. One guy knew how to play the piano. They all got onto the truck for a picture and I did not realize until afterwards, they did not know each other. My energy was flying with everything happening like in the old days, they didn't have much choice in the matter of getting swept up in my energy and onto the Traveling Piano for a special moment together, lol! I was so full of gratitude and joy and really glad I rested by the brook earlier to have had the energy for what was to follow. Also, while resting at the brook I was able to get some clarity for the future. I want money to come to me, a lot of it, ha! I've never said that before. What I will do with it first, is buy a wardrobe, a good one. Then I will get a decent space to live in, the truck redone, clone Mo, the television show going, the branding of me and my stuff, get the truck to China all while continuing to do what I do. I know that anyone who does not know me or the backstory here with this journey will think I'm crazy in having just read that. Hahaha! But... as was my thought when I began this journey... I should care? it is what it is and it has all been very significant in many ways on many levels. What a day! Mo... is zonked. Was getting lost fun? Hell, yes. Scary and fun.

March 26, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I had a breakthrough realization this morning and then we went to Foremaster street where we created music for a short while. Mo and I pulled inside the gate of a place that shares food and necessities everyday so that... the police could not hassle us. It was private property. The city made the street no parking specifically to keep people off it who want to share with the homeless. The cops drove by twice and just from their looks, they were no good. Then we drove over across the street from the Salvation Army where a few guys were cooking on a small grill that was smoking allot. I was not going to park there in my usual spot because if someone drove by and called the fire department just to be a jerk, I would get hassled just like what happened on Fullmaster a few months back. So we parked at the sidewalk and met two mothers and their kids who were staying at a shelter down the street and we all had fun. Here is my breakthrough realization:

It is amazing that at age 63, with the same issues I've been working on for most of my life, I can finally come to resolution with them. When I get hurt, resentful or angry concerning another person... it can get really bad, I can't stop, can't seem to let go. I ruminate constantly and have difficulty distracting myself from it. It has lasted for years several times without going away. There are many tools I've learned in life to try and cope with it. I know all the "let go and let god" stuff, and for most of my life I've heard, "pray for them, do it every day for 30 days". Ha... not. BUT... a friend suggested I do the "pray for them" the other day. I did it and found the answer. When I pray to for-give, or just "let-go" I have been expecting my anger to end. It does not end the anger... it ends the rumination of it!

Then every time the anger comes back, I do the "god help me to care for them, understand, accept, embrace, or just let-go, etc..." again, the rumination stops. Sometimes it takes several times an hour for it to take hold, I do it every time I can catch myself, sometimes every five minutes, but it stops the rumination every time! Each time the anger takes care of itself. Through time it dissipates, always. The length of time it takes varies. I don't care if it takes years... it is the rumination that drives me crazy!!! Of course I need to be honest with myself first that I don't want to be angry with the person or situation. If for other reason, I've had to many people in my life die from anger. They contract a dis-ease from their anger and die as a result. I'll take peace of mind, any day! I'm posting today mountain pictures from Saturday here outside of Las Vegas.

March 25, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

As I belong to the community with the Traveling Piano... Mo is also like the community dog for many. People look for him, enjoy the consistency of being able to say hello, they ask to have their picture taken with him. Mo creates a feeling of connection through his relationship with people. My friend Micas is going to Love this picture! It shows his knowing contentment in having friendship. We were at our usual Monday commitment at the field. There were lots of people... it is the end of the month and everyone's resources have run out. I got ten blankets to hand out on the street tonight and was reminded how of course people appreciate them to help stay warm while sleeping on the cement but more... it is about the fact that another human being, specifically a stranger cares enough to interact, not be afraid, is showing an act of kindness to another person... "strangers" being the operative word. I really enjoy the fact that like ten people wait for me to arrive now just to get on the piano for themsleves to play around some before the food arrives.

March 24, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I have neighbors who open their home every Sunday to everyone... friends, family, strangers, neighbors, people who live on the streets and are passing through... everyone hangs out together with a sense of community to watch tv, talk together, rest and eat some unbelievably delicious home cooked Mexican food at both breakfast and dinner. There is the sharing of clothes and other necessities if needed, music... it was this feeling here that created the decision to settle with the Traveling Piano over two years ago. There are many communities of people in Las Vegas like this. This gathering just began two months ago, it is organized as a non-profit and they served 350 meals at the house today! As they were closing up around six in the evening and those without any place to go were leaving, I could feel and know there dread in being alone for the night.

March 23, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mo and I headed up to Mount Charleston which is an hour drive from where I live to be in some snow before it all melts for the year. I had to push myself a little because my brain was saying that one in the afternoon was too late to leave but, that is just not true. There would be more than four hours of sun light to get my fix. I love finding new places in nature. And, with some snow left it was perfect! We hiked on the Spring Mountains, Fletcher Canyon Trail. We were on the Eagles Nest Loop. It is a 2 mile trail, we just went about a mile and decided to save the rest for another time, like real soon, like Wednesday! It felt like I was walking in Montana along a ridge with pasture and pine trees below, no people, big and open... just stupendous. I'll post some pictures later. The priority for the day was for Mo to have some fun in the snow!

March 22, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mo and I headed for the mission and afterwards hooked up with the Supreme Knight of the local Knights of Columbus which is a Catholic fraternal service organization having an open mike, music jam close to Fremont Street and the Las Vegas strip. I know Brian from the field where I take the Traveling Piano every Monday. I need more friends and so I pushed myself to go. I'm not very good at being social when I'm not the center of attention so I need to practice with every opportunity possible. There were just a few people there and I told Brian he needed to throw some Catholic guilt out to his more than two hundred members so they come together and socialize more. I did spend some time with the Traveling Piano there and showed a young guy of eleven years old how I experience life through music. We talked back and forth a little and when done he said, "you know, that was the best conversation I've had in my entire life." What a huge compliment that was!

March 21, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Playing at the mission center today was just totally fulfilling. Who wouldn't like strangers, friends and workers constantly coming up and simply saying hi, glad to see you! Beforehand on facebook I responded to someone complaining about trump with, "I act out by going out and creating acts of kindness for strangers. It works. Its my "fuck you" to trump and what is going on." A reply asked, "what do you do." I responded: Actually I do many things but with summer coming one example is, when I take my pup out for a walk at night, I take along my back pack with five gatorades, not the small cheap ones or just a bottle of water... I go to areas where there are people sleeping on the sidewalks and hand them out to people sleeping on the ground while making sure I look them in the eye to say hello while doing so. I get the drinks when they are on sale for .49 a piece at the supermarket. What do you do?

Another thing I do in the winter, I take 2 clean blankets each night that people give me or I get from the dollar store for the backpacks. Sometimes when I walk down a street during the day and pass someone, I simply look at them and say hello as I am passing, never stopping even if they reply, never looking back but making sure I look them in the eye and mean it when I say it while passing. I'm not a do-gooder, trust me. Good is the result but it is not the motive. The motive is to rightly relate with the world and to do something positive with the negative in myself to dissipate the negative again, in myself first and always. The amount good feelings I have illuminated into the world as a result is amazing... but they correlate with the amount of angry feelings I get from the world.

I feed on the bad not that I want to, it just is what is it. For me that is a lot of bad, which is why I am real good, lol! A person cannot know how amazingly successful all this is unless they do it themselves... most important is the consistency over a period of time to build on the success. It is a practice. When someone brings up something positive about trump I say, "If you support trump you need to check your moral compass." and then I refuse to engage further. I may repeat like a parrot "Check your moral compass" two more times but never anything else. And then as they continue to try and engage I look them in the eye and say not.... that I don't want to talk about it but... "I don't want to talk to you." And then I just stare at them until they stop and go away. It works 100% of the time and I sort of love winning that baiting game. That too... a huge practice over time.

March 20, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Today was a lost day. I've been emotionally distraught over a friend who is very sick physically and another friend who is very emotionally sick but does not know it. They are my closest and I may lose them both.

March 19, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

This getting older thing is getting tricky. I twisted my hand the other day and thought I caught it before twist went too far. Then yesterday I could barely play the piano. Today, no problem, then big problem, then no problem in a period of an hour while playing the piano. Pulled something in my neck over a month ago and cannot sleep on that side ever since. Sometimes it feels like the pain it is going away almost completely, and then it comes back. Up and down, back and forth, in and out... that's life for ya. Today, I was feeling lonely (not alone) and a guy came up to me from across the street, from the Salvation Army and began to sing improvisationally with me while I improvised. He was overflowing with gratitude for my music and my being there and I was overflowing with gratitude over his being there and loving me and the music, the opportunity to share some love together.

March 18, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Being with friends at the field tonight with the Traveling Piano where we are every Monday I was thinking... Thank God that I have found a fail-safe way in life to feel love with other human beings through giving and receiving. It happens with the Traveling Piano via Musical Fun, Friendship and Respect! If in no other way, I have had this way and it is good. And then there is Mo. The loving respect we have together is on an entirely different plain of existence. This, as I am always struggle with friendships on any ongoing intimate levels. I was asked to join a bunch of guys on Friday night at the local Knights of Columbus. I may force myself to go as I need to start meeting new people to hang out with... without the Traveling Piano. I am so not social when I do not have my comfort blanket with me. (The Traveling Piano)

March 17, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

As I get older I realize that so many basics do not change for me. The ability to rise early is one example. So, I woke up at noon and originally was going to go to the Mexican family that serves food to the homeless as I did next week but I did not have the desire. I realized that I was about to make it a weekly commitment and there is not enough incentive to do that. One Sunday a month like at the Veterans Village will be enough. So I piddled on Facebook until I was able to tear myself off it. Then Mo and I drove to the desert to meander some. Check out the photo posted. Can you see the parked Traveling Piano in it? Mo is losing his energy big time. When it gets hot our physical activities are going to be limited for sure.

Afterwards I felt an impulse to create some music with people around so we drove to the Redrock overlook off the main road and spent an hour there as the sun set. At first I tried to ignore people and just create music for myself. After about five minutes I knew that was not going to last and had to push to extend myself into interactions with others. I am glad I did because wow, I needed that. Some good old musical, fun friendship and respect with others. The piano key are so uneven now, the speaker broken... lol, everything is falling apart, it always does, has been doing it almost since the beginning and probably always will be falling apart but I still continue forward... through the grace of God as I understand God. God is certainly not an authority figure for me, that is for sure. He's my buddy!

March 16, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I met a guy named Mike who is on the road and passing through Las Vegas trying to get some work. He is my age and there is some good bantering we have together. Today we hung out some, met some people where he was staying, visited a local Buddhist monetary, I helped him move his stuff from where he was staying to another place. I met the head monk who owns the place and he seemed like a nice guy, a little lonely, money conscious to keep the place going. The air inside was stuffy and had a smelly feet oder. Lol, I was wondering if my socks were dirty. Outside the gold molding looked a little too plastic. It was in fact, plastic. Gifts were left at the foot of shrines like... opened plastic 7/11 bottles of water?

Afterwards we went shopping and I was treated with some cabbage, carrots and potatoes so I can make myself corn beef and cabbage for St. Patrick's Day, lol! That will really me happy. It is such a little, tasty comfort memory, alive and well in this present time for me. I had also met a classical pianist, a woman from Japan yesterday who was having dinner at the rescue mission. She was to play on the Traveling Piano but was a no show. In knowing she may not show up I planned it along with another hookup for a neighbor I met last night. I stopped with the Traveling Piano outside his work for him a block off of Fremont Street which is a huge party street in Las Vegas revving up for St. Patrick's Day.

March 15, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I'm dealing with anger over several life situations but still Mo and I went to the Rescue Mission to create music and that always helps any negative in my spirit without fail. This blog posting is three days later because I got behind... obviously. One of the situations I deal with on a daily basis is the disease humanity while always having had, it is becoming actually worse with the rise of minds self-centered resulting in tragedies like the New Zealand gun massacre. These happenings affect me with a knowing response ability to speak out with the truth of spirit. It boggles my mind how the religious can be so evil and how the oppressed can support their authoritarian oppressors. Although, I do understand how it happens. So I posted this on Facebook and I am posting it here. People say... what are you doing, your going to alienate people that might be of benefit for you and lose the accomplishment of your mission with them. Well, I'm not out to please everyone and there are more important things in life than benefiting from others.

For example, caring for those that cannot care for themselves and/or have no one to care for them. Trump the racist, spent the last two days spouting venom at fox news for removing a host who attacked an American politician... he attacked the late John McCain with his beyond-the-grave feud... threatened Saturday Night Live, took shots at an Ohio union boss, fulminated against the Russian investigation and Democrats, and as a result of the gun massacre in New Zealand said white supremacy is not a growing global problem. This leader of morons ignored the Prime Minister's request to speak a few words of sympathy for the world as a sign of respect for good Muslim people. Anyone still supporting this warped minded sicko... they really are as sick minded as the loser they look up to. It is difficult to love these diseased people, so I will attempt to ignore them unless... they cross my path with their support for Drumpf, then they had better get ready to run! It is what it is.

March 14, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I've been feeling depressed because a "special" friendship I had is withering whereas I thought it might stick. My idea of personal "specials" in life never seem to stick. Not because that is the way I want it but because... it is what it is. Although, I get plenty of different unexpected kinds of "specials." equally as good and fulfilling. They have been consistent when strung together as one since this journey began. Here is an example from today. I'm at the mission center creating music for everyone as I do every Thursday and this guy comes up to me to say hi. He was in the program there and had helped me with my truck speaker over a month ago. I was able to show my appreciation and validation of his worth as a human being in a spiritual sense and he was able to trust that from me. When that happens it is without question for me, the Grace of God. So, he left the mission because of some personal trouble and I've seen him here and there on the streets fucked up and miserable. He came up once to connect while on the streets but that was it.

I think about him all the time because I know what a good guy he is and that he deserves to have a good life for himself. Tonight, he came up to me to say he's back in the mission. As he departed he said, "its amazing how one person's caring can mean everything." I knew he was talking about me and it was my friendship interactions in the past with him that gave him the courage to be humble enough to reach out for help to take care of himself. For me, another person trusting my intent, having faith in it, embracing my intent with me... that connection... is all I really care about in life. Concerning long term and consistent relating with anyone on that level... it has not happened. Well, that is not true. It just feels that way sometimes. At my age it has happened for many years with different people but none of them are around anymore. I either detached or they passed. So... I have had it long term special relationships in life, just not life long. After all, whats life long? Anyway, what happened today was very significant for me and I have nothing but gratitude for it right now.

March 13, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

So, you know what? I was angry when I work up. Immediately I turned to acknowledging gratitude and working my way into a better attitude. Originally I wanted to go to the Valley of Fire but it was already noon. Then I went onto Facebook and the site shut down. It was one in the afternoon and I thought, "I can get to the Valley of Fire by two and still enjoy the full day especially now that daylight savings time kicked in. What a great decision that was. Both Mo and I really needed it. Of course being in nature is totally healing. We meandered and then laid down on a flat rock in the sun to take a short nap. Then, more meandering and as the day wore on it got windy and colder. We found a little cut out in the rocks and laid down once again for a nap and listened to the wind. I kept asking myself what I want to do in life now and what I enjoy doing most. The answer, exactly what I was doing. And... I forgot my park pass. The ranger let me in without paying! Gotta give them kudos when they deserve it. I am so grateful to be able to enjoy the nature of this earth!

March 12, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I am emotionally drained so I slept until mid-afternoon and felt better in doing that. Then we headed as usual on Tuesday afternoon's, across from the Salvation Army where a few people come to share dinner with those on the streets. Next to me on the street were chalk lines where a guy was killed earlier in the day trying to cross the street. No doubt some jerk murdered someone while having no respect for people who can't think very well when trying to cross the road. Then as I created music a guy across the street collapsed in the gutter. The police came and parked their vehicle with the front wheels within inches of the guys face while they waited for an ambulance. I was hoping they would give the guy some comfort or respect but I guess the best they could do was not run over his body by parking up next to it. Morons. An older guy stood to the other side of me with his back to me looking into sun and sky while I created music, taking it all in. When I was done he turned around and came over crying to thank me. He was having a moment just "being" with my love and respect for him musically and God's nature all around him.

So now to finish my thoughts from yesterday concerning capitalistic types of people with their money and rationalizations of how they keep it for themselves and the whys of not letting go. Guilt, shame, obligation, expectation and no other choice usually works for them in letting go of their money. At their worst, they judge harshly whether others are deserving, capable or not... even when considering other people's giving of money. They never share their own fortunes freely. Self-centered business and emotional agendas or practicality is the bill of fare, never giving for the sake of giving. All... the energy is put into the "whys" of not to share, or delusions of sharing, or how it is not their responsibility to share. They have a distain for those who ask for support. To share without a return that serves them first and foremost just cannot be. They cannot accept the concept of neediness in the terms of anothers. Nor do they experience or embrace truthfully the perspectives of another person unless related to their own experiences or mind set. They are indoctrinated with a distain for those they see as undeserving, even if only a few in a large group.

That distain is at the cost of all others deserving or not and even at the cost of their own singular humanity. They see those offering to help the undeserving as moronic and stupid, less than. The idea and definition of socialism they have been indoctrinated with, while false... is almost evil to them. The understanding of socialism is full of thoughts served by a few at the top of the capitalist ladder, never from their own truth of spirit. They have no balance in their thought process concerning others in need of support. Just as the extreme of a dysfunctional enabler, they are the opposite extreme. Both wrongfully minded capitalists as well as socialist enablers are lost, trapped, secluded, detached from everything but themselves. There is nothing wrong with the idea of capitalism when used for the purpose of equality and inclusion with others. Alas, that is not how it has ever worked, or ever will. There, I'm done. It can all make me angry. I take care of that anger by acting out with the Traveling Piano. It is a good vehicle to act out with. It turns my anger into love and care through fun, friendship and respect.

March 11, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I've really been hurting from dealing with potential situations that concern the road back into making money. People can be so disappointing for me as they seem to share my values and then reveal through time a different reality. It will not stop me but it is usually depressing for a short period of time. Thank God I am not in the position where I must sell my soul. Mo and I went to the field today and now with daylight savings time, being there in daylight with the sun not yet hot... its really nice! For the next few days I'm going to write what I think about people who do not share specifically money to help support others and how they are fakes about that fact. Reaganite's and now worse, trump capitalists: Those types of people are all about accumulating wealth, not sharing it. They hide behind justifications in the illusion that their wealth will trickle down somehow to others automatically.

Problem is, they only do that through the paying of services to others and in reality it is only to grow what they already have for themselves. It has nothing to do with support, equality or progressiveness and operates through self-serving eyes only. They create a thin veil for greediness hidden within their souls. This is why there is a difference between making hundreds an hour verses the minimum wage, a few dollars an hour. God forbid those providing services for them rise up to be equal or worse, surpass what they have. They live through delusional rationalizations of deserving more through education or in having done more work. In reality, they will only teach others to have what they have or create opportunity for others in order to accumulate more wealth for themselves and... as long as others do as they are told so, they can keep the control and manipulate.

March 10, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mike, who we met yesterday joined up with Mo and I to go to the house I found last week where a family with some friends who feed the homeless and anyone who wants a good meal and a place to hang out. Let me tell you their food... home cooked Mexican food, I think it may be the best I've every had. We had some fun there and then I drove Mike to Redrock Canyon to see it. It was drizzling and cold so there was not much to do but it was a good ride and we got to know each other some. He is a sea captain of his own vessel off the east coast, a mariner and we both travel the same spiritual path in life. By the way, the family we visited earlier in the day... I had met them synchronistically on Mount Charleston with the Traveling Piano two years ago. It was an amazing experience to find them in my neighborhood last week with the non-profit agenda they have going to help people in need.

March 09 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

It was a beautiful day, I could have gone out in nature to enjoy it but I also need to take the Traveling Piano out to the streets to create some spontaneity and synchronicity. Everything I have been doing lately has been a commitment I've made. Originally I was going to go to a new neighborhood but the pull was too strong for the usual areas where people are living on the streets. The first stop as at a downtown park. There was an older guy there so enthralled that music had appeared for his enjoyment. He was so happy for the music and I know he would go crazy for the Maple Leaf Rag and so I played that for him as he danced around the park plaza. They really gave me a good feeling. Then another couple came over and then a visitor from Boston named Mike. Mike and I began to have a significant connection but I had to go because friends were waiting to have pizza with me. So we planned to connect tomorrow. The meeting with my friends had a business aspect to it that fell flat. Oh well, until I find the right fit for the financing I need, I'll just keep dealing with any disappointments and move on.

March 08, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

While at the rescue mission today a guy came up to talk with me. I asked how long he had been there, he said five months. Residents have been coming up to me to meet, say hi, thank me, tell me they enjoy my music and talk for a while. I asked him why now? He said, he thinks it might be a result of the consistency of seeing me every week and that.. was major validation for me because I have said over and over the consistency of my going and being there every week does more than anything else concerning trust, relationship, caring, healing, nurturing, inspiring human spirit and musical enjoyment.

March 07 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I'm exhausted babysitting Koda and am looking forward to ending this gig tomorrow. I'd take a lot more chances with Mo because he is my dog but with the responsibility of someone else's dog, I must not take any chances so I am very careful in every way. It was my offer to do this and I'll probably do it again because I want to help my friend out. Koda, Mo and me, we went to the mission center today. Both dogs sit under the piano as I play. Of course Mo's used to it and Koda is great because he knows his leash is on and he's not going anywhere. I was feeling tired, angry and just disgruntled going in. As I began to create music I began seeing people I know from the streets while realizing I can now tell when they are having a difficult time or not just by looking at them. There were some really mentally crazy people tonight and I thought how amazing that they can function to keep themselves going in-spite of their difficulties.

I have nothing but respect for them. Then there are those like this one frail guy who had obviously been punched in the face for no reason and it was difficult for him to eat, just to have the sanity to eat. I saw people reaching out to validate others in the same situation as they, just to have a friendly connection. Watching everyone gave me gratitude for being able to love them as they are and be able to give that love through my presence. I really got lost in the music while thinking all this stuff. Towards the end an unusual amount of people came up to thank me, say hi, validate me... one woman I see almost every time looked at me and said, I really enjoyed your music tonight. She has never before acknowledged me. Thank God for all this. It makes me feel good. It keeps me in touch with what is important in life and feeds me gratitude which is what I use to live on.

March 05 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I need to get out for a hike in the desert. Having Koda with us is too much. We walked the Las Vegas strip instead. Mo is slowing up. I want to enjoy every moment he is here. Actually, I am enjoying every moment. He is the manifestation of all my dreams, all the wonderfulness I have experienced in life to date. They are all to love and be loved, to nurture and be cared for. I've said it before, Mo represents all the cumulative love that has ever existed for me. Now that the fundraiser of the last three months is over I must do more to keep going. What a drag. It has paid the bills but is being used to pay the bills. What comes next I do not know. My life has been complete, I do know that. And the completeness is all documented here on this website. That feels very gratifying. Onward...

March 05 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

It went up to seventy five degrees today. We are dog sitting again for Koda until Friday. After we are done, I'm going to need a break for a while. I love him, I just can't stand lugging my stuff back and forth. Like my air purifier, humidifier, computer stuff, food, toiletries, Mo's dog food, etc... I tried to just bring a book and read it but I can't not do computer work as in processing pictures, organizing my life, uploading on to the internet. Working on the computer is now a comfort zone. Don't know what I'm going to do when it wears out because its wearing out fast. I've been staying away from the timeline on facebook like 95% and not reading the news. It all just makes me too angry, finally angry enough to... just not go there. Thank God! Someone contacted me today online from my first paying gig. It was as a church organist, choir director when I was fifteen and a half years old!!! They were in the church congregation. Is that crazy or what? The food servers where I usually play on Tuesdays did not show today so I had a day off and I needed it after the last five days straight of playing.

March 04 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mo and I went to the field today and after about an hour I became very tired but I pushed through and the time spent was fine as usual. When I left, my mind was out of it. We went over to watch Koda our friends dog and his owner having been sick and busy with work, Koda has been in the house too much without enough airflow so I became dog-ified! I am allergic to Mo which surprises a lot of people. I do things to live with it like make sure my door is open to the outside as much as possible, he must stay very clean with exercise to air him body out, I brush my bed everyday for the dog hair, etc... So, with Koda my breathing began to affect me and I started to feel sick to the stomach.

I took care of his immediate needs and left. That zonked me out for the rest of the night. Some of the kids at the field can get really wild. I had to come down on a few like a hammer tonight. There can be no jumping in and out of the Traveling Piano truck at will or onto the speaker, excessive banging on the keys, screaming on the truck, etc... Some kids have not been taught limits and boundaries. When it comes to me, they will learn. This is for sure because I can turned from very soft to very hard in a flip of a coin. You should see their eyes pop when I yell to break the chaos happening, lol!

March 03 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

I got over yesterday, it wasn't easy to do. I saw a video of myself, it wasn't disastrous... the playing was like an out of control freight train running down a hill and I showed my expertise as a performing musical flubbing-coverer in being lost with what I was doing, lol. Mo and I went to Veterans Village today where we should have been last week for our last Sunday of the month commitment but did not realize that last week was the last Sunday of the month. The month went so fast and with only twenty eight days in it, I lost track of my days. People were concerned as to why I was a no show. Its been over two years now that I've kept that commitment. A couple friends had their pet bunny rabbit, house trained and very smart with them. Mo and the rabbit got along great on the piano! The guy explained that the rabbit answers to commands but you must give like a seven second wait for it to understand. I understand that because often, Mo needs a few seconds to digest a command.

There were several hard core people that got onto the piano to play today. I feel very honored when people who have had it very hard in life trust me enough to share some of their fun, friendship and respect with me, their desire to just get along with others in life and their interest in what I have to share. This can be an awesome world! I heard about a place nearby where a family gathers to open their home one day a week for those living on the streets to cook breakfast, lunch, dinner for them and so they have a place to hang out, get some resources, etc... I took Mo for a walk and to check it out. It was a small place and as I walked in the backyard a young girl says, "I know you, your a piano man." Another guy came up and showed me a video of myself playing on his phone. We had all met on Mt. Charleston about an hour outside of Las Vegas on my birthday, July 9th in 2017. Every person in the picture was there today!

March 02 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

No one can flog themselves like I can flog myself. I'm really trying to not do that. I performed on stage today for a seated audience for the 6th time in my life and wow, did I mess up! I had just one piece to play, the Maple Leaf Rag... a piece I've played at least a 100,000 times in my life and I just went blank like I have done every other time except one. I mean we are going back to age 18 here. My friend Alex with her non profit Notes with a Purpose and the Nevada Clark County Library system sponsored a concert called Dr. Alexandria Le and Friends Live in Concert. She had me in mind since the inception to offer me an opportunity to slide back into performing and well, it is one of those things that... it is what it is.

There are a million thoughts in my head but the bottom line is that I wanted to impress Alex even though I know in my heart that is not needed. The impression I wanted to create was one of gratitude. Oh well. The Traveling Piano was outside and of course I had a lot of fun with it as did many others. Thank God for that and for Mo. If I had to come home alone this situation would be much more difficult. Mo loves me no matter what, lol. Of course I know I am not loved any less because of today but its all about me, myself and I. When I am in control of a situation without pressure, obligation or expectation I do amazing work. When I'm not feeling comfortable in my own skin... life is not very pretty. Anyway, onward...

March 1, 2019

Las Vegas, Nevada

February without question went faster than any other month of my life so far. I cannot believe it is March! Mo and I were at the mission center today, as we are every Friday. All day I have been working to not obsess with fear about tomorrow. I have been invited to perform the Maple Leaf Rag on stage in concert on a program that will include music from Bach to todays JayZ. The concert will be in a huge upscale library auditorium sponsored by the city along with my friend Alex's non-profit named Notes With a Purpose. I've performed on a stage solo in front of a seated audience about five times in my entire life. And I've really messed up with it big time in the past. I freeze, feel put on the spot, my mind can go completely blank and has in the past. Ahh... just have a fucking good time Danny! Also, I will be paid and this will be the very first honorarium since the start of this journey now in its 13th year!!! We will also use the Traveling Piano outside. There is a reason I've created a life long performance career where all my bookings were within distractions as in festivals and promotions and for parades where I pass by real quick, lol! I love being the center of attention but associated with other centers of attention so all the pressure is not just on me to entertain.