HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010
Use the links to the left to read a past Month or Year... and then there is always your Backspace to return to a past page.
December 09, 2017
Las Vegas Nevada
My energy level finally reached a point where I had a cup of soup and a bagel. Then around 6pm I felt enough energy to update this blog. You'd think I'd be feeling better but now the coughing is starting as a result of the movement. I can't remember feeling this sick. At least I'm not on the road with this happening. Thank God for this place I have. And for Mo, thank God Mo is with me. Taking him outside to go to the bathroom is a challenge. Even bending over to put food in his dish is a total effort. I wish I could read or watch a movie or something but my mind has no ability to think, focus or concentrate. Interesting how important this blog is for me to force myself to update it.
December 08, 2017
Las Vegas Nevada
Sometimes I wish Mo and I could be less emotionally emeshed. He has always been this way. When I am anxious, he is anxious and shows it. When I am happy he is happy. Right now I'm sick with a coughing cold or flu or something and so he has no appetite to eat because he's feeling sick along with me as a result. He is more empathic than I. When I am sick and laying down he purposely stretches his entire body out along mine to press close for as much full body comforting contact as possible. My love for this dog never ceases to amaze me! I have never felt as much care from a living being as I have from this dog. It is because spirit has given me the ability to trust and respect intent through him more than ever before.
December 07, 2017
Las Vegas Nevada
The flu got hold of me. Strangely enough while I was in a semi state of sleep, I know the exact moment that it triggered in my body. I'm completely out of it. This is being posted on the 9th because I have not had any energy. I must have driven my neighbors crazy last night with my coughing it was constant even with cough medicine. By day break I was too weak to cough. I cannot remember when I was so sick that I could not eat for an entire day. To turn to my side in bed takes every ounce of energy I have. Total pain. Where is my mommy! I took a picture of a pigeon in my back alley a week ago. It looks like I feel.
December 06, 2017
Las Vegas Nevada
Mo and I headed to the streets today into the poverty stricken, homeless area of the city. At a corner, there were parents waiting for their kids to get dropped off from the school bus so I decided to stop and create some fun for them to come home to. That was a short time and then I continued down the street lined with tents and people laying on the sidewalk. At one particular spot I felt compelled to park and try to bring some life to one specific lady who definitely had some mental problems. She was across the street from me hiding under a blanket. I was loving it as she began to move, and then got up and then started coming across the street running back and forth about three times getting closer and closer. I turned behind me to see about twenty kids at a fence freaking out over what they were seeing. It was a high school and the administration came out to embrace what I was doing and I ended up taking the Traveling Piano into the school parking lot for more fun.
December 05, 2017
Las Vegas Nevada
Everyday I pray, "god please direct my life." It helps me to feel secure because I have faith and trust that the god of my understanding does direct my life as long as I allow that. When I am in the frame of mind to let all thoughts go as in "give it up" I remember what I learned in 2010 while hiking in Glacier Park Montana that simply "being" demands nothing, there is nothing to accomplish, it demands zero responsibility. Simply "being" is a state of joy, security, fulfillment and contentment. Reality can become warped when seen only through the mind.That is when an illusion of being comes into play. There are many ways to experience what I am writing about with simply being. There are different ways for different people. For me the easiest way is to walk into it through nature. It also always happens when I am interacting one-on-one with someone through the Traveling Piano.
December 04, 2017
Las Vegas Nevada
In being honest with myself I know my biggest challenge in life is to allow myself to feel part of... anything. My thin skin from a lack of self-confidence has always been with me and always will. It is a matter of whether those feelings take control of my mind or not. Being in a room with other people interacting is almost an impossible task. I can get by with small groups and have no problem one-on-one. Must I be part of something? I know realistically in many ways I am part of many things, ideas, etc... but realistically my mind can also tell me otherwise. Being part of the universe, no problem but in the reality of relating to people in this world... it can be a challenge. This journey has been such a gift because I have found a way to relate that is successful and 100% on my terms. But thats not the kind of relating that is a challenge. It is when it is not 100% on my terms that it becomes a problem. Sometimes I wonder if this journey has been yet another distraction from dealing with the reality of my life's challenge, that is the issue of being and feeling "part of" something bigger in life. Focusing on God too much can be a distraction for reality. That can become a distraction in saying we are all part of God's love which is bigger than, blah, blah, blah. This issue is the disease of my life.
December 03 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
I have been thinking about how Mo is the embodiment of everyone who has ever loved me throughout my life. Also, how the past few days in Utah, going there was providential, meant to be and how grateful I am to have been able to give it to myself. The timing in every way was perfect. I wrote about that over the past few days but now just another point... the temperatures have now dropped into a winter feel. Whereas it was in the seventies, tonight it is going down into the thirties. I caught the last part of any warm weather for the season just in time without knowing. When I take care of myself good things happen. I spent time at the local Asian Center today. The place came back into my life and I do not want to project why, for what, etc.. I must think one step at a time as I have learned in the past that jumping to positive assumptions can be detrimental to my well being. I'm having difficulty with choices and decisions which is nothing new but always a huge challenge to have to deal with again, and again. I'm not complaining as I have decided to make my own choices which is the only way for me to live life. When I was away and in nature living in the present moment was so easy. Now back here in Las Vegas I must consciously remember to place myself into that state of being.
December 02, 2017
Utah and Nevada
The last few days were fun! Thank God I could enjoy them. Before leaving, I met a Mormon family in town for a Christening and the son got onto the traveling piano to play a hymn. It was enjoyable interacting with them all. In wanting to make the most of my get away I meandered back to Las Vegas. A state park nearby was first on the agenda. They were chraging $10 to get in so screw that and then I found another state park that had a lake with no charge. With such a beautiful day I wanted to just lay near the water. My dog allergy with Mo got to me last night so I had little choice as functioning was almost impossible. After some aspirin, and rest on the ground using Mo's piano rug I came back to life under birch trees growing in the water with their yellow leaves still clinging on. It was totally peaceful. Mo came up and sat next to me while literally pressing his cheek to mine. There is no better feeling when he shows pleasure with intimate closeness for me. My dog knows how to cuddle and nuzzle!
After that I headed to the Snow Canyon overlook to eat lunch, create some music and walk around a little. What a fantastic place that is. The fact that there are so few people around everywhere I go is always a "double" fantastic. During the drive through the desert to Las Vegas I looked into my rearview mirror to see the moon rising and had to stop and take a picture. The cream color with the deep blue background was just beautiful beyond the usual. Once back to my place I could feel all the crazy people living in apartments around me. Not in a bad way, just as in... it is what it is. There was also a palatable feeling that I was missed. I do not know what that is about. maybe the consistency of relationship good or bad for them or the stimulation of seeing the Traveling Piano in the parking area everyday, who knows. All I know is that I must keep a healthy distance from everyone! Lol, I am so grateful to have my little room to return to with my familiar possessions to work with at hand.
December 01, 2017
I woke up feeling very good and then I went onto facebook and my mind turned instantly to anger and thought, why did you just do that to yourself? There are certain type of people I do not want in my life and I had to deal with that on facebook. Mo and I headed out to experience some nature. At first I was heading for Zion Park. Now is the time with not so many tourists. Off season just began. Last week there were 3000 vehicles that went through the park. This week... 300. When I was here a few years ago you could not drive through the entire park, they made you use a tram because of so many people. This time everything was open. Then I thought, I don't even want to deal with a few people. We went exploring the park through the Kolob Plateau. As I drove, there was a constant déjà vu until I realized I had been through the entire area before. But, I never walked around in it and today Mo and I did.
Through a pasture type forest of pines trees to different overlooks. I can feel myself slowing down physically. It does not feel like a bad thing, it just is. I cannot jump into the truck from the side as I have always done. My hearing is going as well as visually... I do not only experience night blindness, the sun now makes driving or walking difficult when it is in my eyes. My breathing is not so good, my thinking is slower with my movements. I'm going down with the truck! Lol, it has lost its performance level of operation in both function and looks so to go back to making money with it does not look promising. There are things I could probably do to help myself get better. The grace of God, if it is meant to be is needed for anything to happen. I just keep focusing on doing... enjoying... balance and having a good time! We passed through a small quaint town named Toquerville and it felt so peaceful, clean and quiet, a quaint sleepy town to retire in?
Lol, I think not because of practical reasons, but its an idea. I am fairly certain I will never retire in a traditional sense. That is not in me to do. Once I returned from the days exploring I shared the Traveling Piano with the hotel night desk person and the owner also happened to be there. I was exhausted but they were interested and that made my day. The owner and I got talking and I asked if he was Mormon. He said yes and then like I can do sometimes... I put my foot in my mouth with a not complimentary Mormon statement. A half hour later a young kid comes to my room with a Santa hat on to say Merry Christmas and handed me an envelope. It was cash, the cost of the nights room and a Mormon "Light the World in 25 Ways Over 25 Days" card. This is the first motel ever to reciprocate, the first religious person ever to contribute in the name of their faith in all my 50,000 encounters! And, despite of my being an imbecile. Lol... its a good feeling.