HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010
Use the links to the left to read a past Month or Year... and then there is always your Backspace to return to a past page.
July 26, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
Not getting distracted with all the politics going down in the United States today was as difficult as it can get. It hurts, feels sad, is frustrating, makes me super angry and choosing how to fit into all of it responsibly is a constant challenge. I remind myself that I do not need to be social online and be conscious of other venus to fulfill my social needs and contribute to life because... once I get stuck in the online crap, it is very difficult to let go of it. Being by myself is not a problem but when I get fearful well, where I turn to for help is crucial decision these days. Reminding myself to not waste my life lashing out at people online with opinionating in order to feel less fearful, or to feel more powerful and in control, helpful for humanity... online must be a very small part of my life. I can be most helpful for both myself and others with one-on-one interaction, person to person in real life verses online in cyberspace.
July 25, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
It is a most beautiful worldly experience to have someone uncontrollably drawn to me, a complete stranger approaching me with tears running down their face to acknowledge mutual truth of spirit between us. It happened today with this beautiful girl through my musical improvisation in a park. I almost cried myself, she was so beautiful. It was a typically synchronistic encounter and the spontaneity made it magical for her. We drove to the park and into the only spot with shade and it was next to another car with a guy and a girl in it. No one else was around and I joked with them a little as I made sure they were not going to freak out with my creating some music. After about ten minutes the girl came out of the car to meet. She was having a difficult time in life and the music moved her out of that difficulty.
I was there to meet a family for the second time while I try to figure out if I can turn what I do with the Traveling Piano into a structured teaching mode. I have no idea what I'm doing, its all an experiment and while we are together the father tries to teach me how to speak Chinese by repeating everything I say in Chinese. The goal is to learn conversational Traveling Piano type Chinese to speak. Staying personally interested in what I am doing with all that is a challenge because there is no flow (yet) and I have not figured out how to make learning fun for myself let alone other people. The intent to learn first and then do it in a fun way... is different for me than an intention to have fun in a consciously learning way?
July 24, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
Mo is having a tooth problem and I think a teeth cleaning is needed quick. I thought a vet could do it better than myself. I went to a small local vet place for the first time and they said... $295. I said, "Wow, how did you ever keep it under $300!" They got the sarcasm. And then they began with, "Well he needs an exam and ex-rays, then he will need to be anesthetized, and then by state law..." I said "Stop" and "NO." Only an idiot would fall for a "sell" like that. "I just want the dogs teeth cleaned. Can you do it or not." They said, "No we must do the package." As I was leaving I held my tongue and finger in wanting to say... "Package This!" (if you know what I mean) We have been trained to knee jerk, be afraid, be over concerned, think the worst, run to the doctor at any first sign of trouble, tell each other the horrible things that might happen, get the ex-rays, get on pharmaceuticals, pay for procedures, must have the examinations, blah... blah... blah. This is a problem in society. It is not only with pets but with ourselves and families. We... have... been... conditioned... and... trained... to... think... that... way. Common sense is what I work with. Observe, look at options, explore possibilities, take it easy, use intuitive spirit... not what "industries" instruct us to use. (which is them) We need more intuitiveness in the world with how we live. We don't need all the warnings. We don't need all the information. We need to not be lazy by wanting to be fed with instructions. I've been using a cotton swab dipped in hydrogen peroxide on the infected area and it seems to be working. Don't be looking to see if your dog is in pain. Just be aware that your dog will tell you... if it is in pain. They do that you know. I've been here in this position more than once with Piano Dog Boner. Intuitive knowing is the way to go. Don't be looking for trouble, death and potential desperation. Practice, trust, faith... common sense through spirit. The answers needed always come that way, always.
So, I found a sensible vet for Mo who gave an exam with sensible options, a realistic diagnose, practical followup procedure, he got up into Mo's teeth, scarped some, told me how the infection got started, what was going on, (hair got stuck up there)... end price... $40 bucks. Do you know what brings in the highest profit margin for veterinarians in the USA today? It is Teeth Cleaning. And... its not like cleaning the teeth will fix anything. If a tooth is abscessing it will continue to do that until the tooth falls out. While antibiotics can help with infection the tooth is going to do what its going to do once it starts. You can also pull it out but it will also fall out naturally just like with people. When you get a teeth cleaning, you must follow up every day with cleaning on your own or its just going to get bad again. Everyday teeth cleaning will, after time reap the same results as any vet who does it. Every time you put a dog under anesthesia from a vet to get its teeth cleaned, there is a chance it will not come out of it. Are you going to risk that every six months and for at least $300.00 a pop? (an idiot who online blocked me was paying over $500 and trying to justify that I should do the same) Other vets tell you it is necessary when often, it is not. Learn how to ask questions, don't just fall for getting ripped off. Learn to use your intuitive nature... do not ask online friends in general what to do. That last point I want to emphasis as the strongest. I repeat, do not ask online friends in general what to do. Many will give you suggestions anyway, they will dump on you fear mongering, negativity and unnecessary information that will confuse you.
Tell them you do not want to hear it and then seek out your own answers intuitively. Learn to trust yourself or... give yourself up to the industry and people who will take advantage of the situation or... just plain morons who will spin everything into their own personal failings. Do you want that? Websites with animal health information... 90% of them are written by over indulgent, self-serving dog fanatics who know nothing or advertisers out to redirect your thinking! Do not confuse yourself with them. Lol... learn to trust yourself, not the internet and the fear mongering warnings. Also, be aware as to when people have a vested interest in the dog industry or those who do not want to get honest with themselves about getting ripped off... and so they try to rationalize it to bring you down with them. Those people will absolutely negate what I have to say here. With this whole vet and people issue, about 10% I have found to be simply fair, honest and caring about you and your dog personally, not... how it relates to them and their dogs or business. Seek out people and intelligent vets who will tell you how it is straight forwardly as in... "Its a dog!" Perspective is very important when money is involved. Do not let money cloud rational thinking. Do not simply knee-jerk yourself into doing what other people tell you to do or are doing themselves. Think intuitively for the answers of how to care for your dog especially when dealing with the pet industry.
July 23, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
Today was a lost day... I'm trying to wrap my head around what I am doing. So... I want to write the end of my thoughts on motivation. There are two recent writings on it from a few days ago. This is the last. The bottom line... I am a "user" both in the sense of self motivation and any motivation that I attach myself to from others. What I was ingrained with as a child will exist forever. I practice on living with and through that fact, without embracing. It takes an enormous amount of effort to stay self motivated and interested in myself. The only way I have found is to extend myself when possible to others in being of help to support, empower and inspire the love of personal spirit from within. That has been the easiest way for me to sustain the self motivation to live. Motivation from others does not exist. Support from others does help my motivation. It must always start when getting it from within, through humility.
Support gives me the attention, validation and reassurance, comfort, security and the relevance I desire but the actual extending of myself with or without support no matter how small, creates the ability to attain support. If I don't self motivate to attain support, I get nothing. Through constant self examination I have learned to trust and know my intent. Knowing my intent gives me the ability to ask for desire and that gives me the ability to extend myself, which gives me the ability to motivate myself. Basically, what this is all about... damm, getting and staying motivated has always been difficult for me! The reason is fear... an ingrained fear that if I motivate myself to explore my own personal desires... I will be redirected, rejected, suppressed, obliviated in mind, body and soul... rejected from society and cast into eternal damnation. I know this is difficult for people to believe and understand about me. It is what it is.
July 22, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
I wanted to make some hulupki but... do not have an oven to make the wraps and cook them but... I just purchased a huge wok for $5 and thought... "you just cut it all up to eat it anyway" and so then... I had some carrots and mushrooms and... along with hamburger, cabbage, balsamic rice, onions, tomato sauce, pasta sauce, ketchup, sea salt, cayenne pepper and fresh garlic... timing the cooking of each ingredient as I added them... yum, yum, yum! As I was doing my usual walk... it is not unusual to pass 50 people laying on the sidewalks sleeping. I came across this organized little outside room on a block with no one around and thought...
"I wonder if someone set this up for the night for someone to use... and then they would take it away in the morning when everyone gets up." There was the water dispenser, a five gallon jug of water, a cart with a boombox in it, the mattress and pillow and I wondered if the styrofoam container had food supplies. There was no one around so I took a peep. Opps, it was someone's personal stuff. On the top was a porn mag! Lol, in 2017? It was all pretty unusual and let me tell you, not much passes as unusual to me anymore. Mo and I are finally using the pool where we live. We sneak in after it closes when its dark. My neighbor found us tonight and took some pictures for me. It is over a 100 degrees even at midnight. The heat is brutal, its making me sleep alot.
July 21, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
First today, I went to my Chinese speaking class. Learning in a class format is excruciatingly difficult for me, always has been, its exhausting. Then I drove the Traveling Piano under Route 95 to test the sound out against the cement ceiling, the bottom of the roadway. What fun, just me and Mo. Then we drove to Las Vegas Blvd and Owens Avenue as it is a great spot to open up my new speaker sound and see how loud it could get. The music was louder than all the homeless people talking, evangelicals milling around with their free donuts collected from supermarkets in the name of Jesus, the Friday rush hour traffic, cop cars and a police helicopter circling overhead because something serious had gone down about a block away... the speaker was so loud that the musical fun, friendship and respect, as well as the sharing of it with others superseded all other sound! The fact that it was a hundred and ten degrees well, when your immersed in beautiful sound nothing else matters.
July 20, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
I want to thank everyone who made a contribution to date. If you have not done so, there is a contribution link to the left of this page. I used the new speaker today for the first time and cannot express how it felt to be "whole" again with my sound. I played with the speaker broken for over a half year maybe more. It cost $900 and my ability to express myself musically now has increased two-thirds as a result! Listen to the first improvisation with it. That can be found on todays date using the "A Gift of Music Daily" link in the column to the left of this page. Thank you everyone who made a contribution. You can still donate from the Contribution link also on the left of this page. The goal... bring the Traveling Piano up to snuff. Mo and I drove to a park in North Las Vegas first thing, to share the music with people right from the start.
July 19, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
It was cloudy when I woke up and the temperature dropped to eighty degrees for the first time in over a month! It has been raining. Very, very wierd but oh so welcome. The air felt delicious. I began to come back to life. The weather might be affecting my ability to function a lot more than I realize. My new amp came. My broken amp went into the shop. I was able to do some errands that have been on my brain for weeks. I was going create some music but the sun came out, the temperature shot up and the humidity stayed, ugh. Inside for the rest of the day damm, I was beginning to feel normal. More thoughts on what I wrote about below with self-motivation... Fortunatly, through what I call the Grace of God, manifested through people that I have found in life... or maybe people who have found me as a result of personal desire... I have been empowered and inspired to learn self-motivation. (just a little bit)
I learned through people (from without) how to create and feel it for myself (from within). This has been a new way of thinking when it comes to being self-centered. I have embraced a God of my own personal understanding as in a power greater than myself and now still, I must overwhelmingly rely on that power through working with others to get me through most days. My biggest tool for self motivation is to inspire and empower others through a higher power from within myself. Hence, the Traveling Piano. I have learned that all agenda is self serving. What I want to be served is dictated by desire, and I must be honest about what I am desiring. I stay interested in my desires through gratitude and must consistently question whether my desires are for illusion, for real, for the sake of indocrination or the desire of someone else.
July 18, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
It has been humid! What a strange feeling. I've never felt humidity in the desert before, I don't think. A dad with his son and daughter who I met at a Chinese class, we hooked up tonight for some Traveling Piano time speaking in Chinese. I want to learn phrases like, "thats good" "push a note down" "again" "keep the pedal down" etc... The dad speaks Chinese. It was awkward because I didn't know what I was doing, could not hear him, did not know what direction and how to give it to him. We lasted for about forty five minutes and I was completely exhausted both emotionally and physically. I keep asking myself, "Do you want to do this?" Thats not good because now I must either do it or not. The humidity might have had something to do with my energy but also... the direction I am moving in is towards structure and more consciously teaching. Thats not fun for me, did that, done that so... I must find a way to interest myself and make it fun. It was only the first time. We set up another time to try it again for next Tuesday at sunset.
July 17, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
The idea of self-motivation as a child was destroyed for me. I was taught not to trust anything from within. My parents and teachers, their motivations were what I was taught to have. The problem... I never learned for myself. All motivation was for their purpose, through them and from without. All self motivation was redirected, rejected or suppressed. Any shown from myself that suited them, they took credit for or was redirect onto something else, God for example. As a result I rejected the idea of motivation altogether through resistance to just about everything including myself. In fact I learned to hate myself through all of that. Life was not functioning in joy. I knew it was from everyone else's way of thinking and acting. As far as for and through myself, from within... I had no experience, knowledge, or feeling to pull from in order to learn. The idea of from "myself" was taught as being self-centered, a reason for obliviation of my mind, body and soul... rejection from society and eternal damnation. Such a dilemma! No way to know self-motivation from within... and pushing all away from without. I have more to say on this subject....
July 16, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
It is important to remind myself that I have no need to accomplish anything more in life. There are things I would like to accomplish but attaching any urgency, obligation, expectation or responsibility to them stops all processes from happening, dead in the tracks. My life as I said many years ago feels completely fulfilled so everything now is sort of like icing on the cake. A personal milestone has been reached today concerning my living consciously without alcohol or drugs in order to illusionary attempt living life. Whereas other people are able to live life using and enjoying alcohol or drugs for whatever reason without any detrimental effect to themselves, wether its true or not... I am not one of them. I have the "dis-ease" and we all know the medical term for it. It is called drug and alcohol addiction. Today marks thirty five years of one day at a time in being one hundred percent responsible for my mind, body and spirit... consciously. This journey I have been on in life is the manifestation of my decisions, the tools I have used to stay clean and sober, and the people in my life from whom the grace of God or whatever you want to call that, has flowed from my unconditional trust in being able to ask for help. Life throughout this journey has not been easy, but completely worth it.
July 15, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
Putting one foot in front of the other, I must be conscious of not letting my feet melt when the sun hits them as I walk outside even across a parking lot to get to the truck. It is at least one hundred ten degrees everyday a hundred five on cooler days. Mo and I went to the Las Vegas Asian Cultural Center to meet with the director to explore finding several people to help me with Chinese language and a series of small events happened. I found myself hanging out with the director as well as a few other guys who just began a television network through the center. I appreciated how accessible they were, interested and easy to talk with. Here I am with the China dream circling around in my head. Am I going to take advantage of the opportunity that may exist, am I going to create my own opportunity with what is available for me, am I going to setup roadblocks in my head to create doubt, mistrust. lack of desire, capability or... just go with the flow and take action steps right now, not tomorrow, not next week... right now towards just doing it no matter how big or small the steps are.
July 14, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
Whew, the heat how many times can I say that. It is a new experience, difficult to function in especially while living in such small quarters but... its happening. I forced myself out to go to a Chinese Language class offered free to the public at the local cultural center. I missed the last two weeks and going is basically like putting one foot in front of the other, a sign of willingness to myself, like dipping only a toe in the water but... at least, its something. I met a family there and the dad's fluent in speaking Chinese. We all had a short time on the Traveling Piano afterwards and he may help me with some speaking specifically concerning Traveling Piano type communication in Chinese. I'm thinking he might shadow me when I work with the truck with what I say to people, but in Chinese. I have a basic script of the Traveling Piano experience. Do you know that I have a goal to take the Traveling Piano to China? After that I headed to the local music store to feel my way once again into replacing my amplifier.
The sound equipment is shot and a lot of money to replace, which thank god I have from the fundraiser last month. Choosing what will work for me is a challenge concerning price and being a solid piece of equipment. The kid trying to make a sell, I think he tried to profile me as an idiot to push off the amp he wanted to get rid of. Onward... What I wrote yesterday in the blog I had posted online and has had some serious flack from people taking it personally. That validated for me how important it was to make the statement. I have no issues with people using pot or the sale of it. I do have concern with the fact that some have made it a "god" for themselves out of pot. The result is a total disregard for the fact that it can make some people acutely ill in mind, body and spirit when used in excess. All they can do about that fact is defend there belief system with complete rigidity and irrationality it it not harmful for anyone. So be it. Thank God I have the courage to be a voice. Many people feel too suppressed to speak out about the matter because of the pressure from people who use it. All talk must be spouted with glorious praise of pot. Ha, I'm still spinning from the experience of the guy I hung out with yesterday. It was a tipping point for the need for me to speak out.
July 13, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
Oh God, the heat! Met some new friends today. Hung out with a neighbor and need to be careful with that. Getting to know people now living in one place after not having a home for almost twelve years... I want to take it nice and slow. People are crazy. I have gained a lot of maturity since I lived in one place, when I owned a home back many years ago. Now, I am much more sensible, realistic and I am aware of limits and boundaries that I need for myself. I hung out with a guy around town last night who turned out to get absolutely insane as the night went on with his pot, drinking and more. I had to separate and go my own way as he began to include me in on his insanity. He is without question at a tipping point of no return and I felt really sad and angry for him at the same time. His paranoia about aliens and surveillance and cops... it was really sad. I came home and wrote this: I have been meeting more and more people as the years go on who's minds have become demented as a result of pot addiction. Most are younger than 50 years old.
There is nothing funny or humorous about it at all. The dis-ease created from smoking too much marijuana cannot be recognized within the addicts own self. The denial is very sad to see. It shows through paranoia and need for validation, an unawareness... but is communicated clearly to others who experience it. Acutely sick pot addicts are embracing the conspiracy theory industry more and more as that sickness gains profit through people like alex jones. Conspiracy theories are the largest evil in the world today as it dehumanizes our existence through gaslighting. Being high all the time hides true feelings of disempowerment which magnifies the manifestation of denial in reality by simply... not caring. The potential for actualization of potential... non-existent. I'm not talking about people who smoke pot for recreation or for health measures as people who are not alcoholics do with drinking.
Most commercial pot being sold today does nothing for health measures even though that "sell" ...is the "pink elephant" to access it. I'm talking about pot addicts and no one else. They are the most mentally ill people I run into, worse than heroin, meth or naturally mentally ill people. I say this with over 30 years of every day experience with all types of people... both functioning and not, living homeless on the streets and not. As the pot industry which is all about money and nothing else... helps to destroy humankind... this perspective needs to be told out loud and strong. What does this have to do with the Traveling Piano? It is something I must keep clarity with, establish limits and boundaries with for myself... in order to stay responsible with myself, my work and how I relate to people, who with... when to comes to compassion and empathy... or not. I do not want to get lost in the sickness myself because I would not be able to contribute to my world as I now do. My contribution would be nothing for nothing.
July 12, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
I don't know what feels better, seeing this picture from 1995 along with Piano Dog Boner when he first came into my life... when we were working a parade in Marcus Hook, Pennsylvania performing Ragtime and Boogie Woogie music... or the fact that my work has been memorably enjoyed enough for someone to keep a picture of it, scan it into their computer, look me up on the internet and wonder if I'm that guy... and then send it to me in appreciation almost 25 years later. Being enmeshed spiritually (that means in all the good ways) with people, not only those I've met personally, creates a lot of joy for me. As I live in a world today where the mind of humanity is spinning out of control, I work to not judge and I do that by remaining vigilant of who I am in spirit so that my mind personally does not destroy me. There is a lot of "crazy" all around me. But, tonight as I was walking down the street I saw a guy stop a car, go over to a fence to say hello to a dog and then get back in his car and drive off. That... is the kind of "crazy" of the spiritual kind. That is the kind of crazy I want to be.
July 11, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
Sometimes people think I should stop this journey. Everything has its time they say, lol a beginning and an end. People have been saying it for the last ten years. Its always as a result of not being able to tolerate or hear about my struggles and they never imply I should stop when everything is flowing perfect. What does that tell you? I struggle with the question myself often. The base facts remain... if something better came my way of course I would stop. If I was given a clear sign of no option, of course I would stop. I have no desire to do anything but what I am doing in the present moment. I am not going to stop living life because it is difficult or I cannot accomplish as much as I want to or as much as I have done in the past. The Traveling Piano, my work in purposeful. I enjoy it when I'm doing it. No... that is an understatement... I love it more than life itself. I was driving to Lee's Canyon the other day and met a lot of people at a pull off. We must all get out into the world to meet and connect with people in person. Life works best that way.
July 10, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
Several birthday items came in the mail today and they made me feel very good! A day late as yesterday was Sunday with no mail delivery. It was a pleasant surprise. It Rained here in Las Vegas today! I have not seen rain in almost a Year. And, it is still ninety eight degrees with the rain. I was thinking, I'll feel better with the rain, it will bring down the heat and then I opened my door and it felt worse! Lol... there's only one thing worse than a temperature of 100 degrees and that is a temperature at 100 degrees with... 100 percent humidity! Can we talk try to breath? Blah, blah, blah, always something to complain about. The color popped everywhere with the moisture. All green plant life doubled in vibrancy. When it rains, thats the time to get out into the dessert for some photos but... not when its between 100 and 120 degrees.
July 9, 2017
Mt Charleston, Nevada
I think I'm over birthdays, I felt nothing today. Also, I've been saying I'm 62 for the last half year so in my mind I reached the number awhile ago. The idea of being sixty two is unsettling to say the least. Once I was able to gather my thoughts I got going with Mo for a drive to Mount Charleston. The weather is very difficult to deal with and I need a change of scenery for sure. We stopped to get gas and the cashier was instantly interested in the Traveling Piano so of course we had to share it with him and his co-worker. Once we reached the destination I started to feel relief like I wanted to cry. It has been a while since I smelled green growth and was in a temperature that felt normal to me. The park industry wanted to charge $18 for the three more hours they were open and so I told them to shove that.
The government park industry controlling peoples enjoyment of nature incenses me with anger. I drove around the town which is very small and began to reminisce with the houses, the environment, my past life... I had to stop because my spirit began to sink with desire for the comforts I once new. I began to explore a road to Lee's Canyon and found a pull off with not only a great view it was shady with cloud cover. Three minutes did not go buy before people began to stop and I had the usual very significant encounters with people more than just musically... significant as in strangers becoming less afraid of each other and getting to know each other a little. As I got back into the city, the heat (it is always between 100-120 degrees now) was actually painful after having been in such a comfortable temperature of like seventy five degrees!
July 8, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
A new fish taco restaurant opened in the neighborhood and so I took the Traveling Piano there as a welcome gesture. The time did not last very long with the heat but it was mission accomplished and the owners invited me in for a fish taco dinner with beans, rice and cheesecake for dessert. I had a Bajamar battered fish taco with salsa fresco, red cabbage & chipotle cream sauce as well as a Lucus taco, made with Monterey cheese, a huge grilled California pepper, sauteed shrimp & chipotle cream sauce. The sauce made it the most special. Everything prepared fresh. Nom, nom, nom... That made my day and it was about all I did all day except that I took a bunch of their promo postcards and dropped them off in different motel lobbies along the strip as I took Mo for a walk tonight. Its really wonderful when people share without agenda. There was no feeling of payback with the dinner. God knows, after all this time I can "smell" the difference. People who are of the "what can I get" "paybacks are a bitch" "what do I owe" "I must pay" mentality have no ability to understand the sharing and pay it forward thinking of today.
July 7, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
Today was the hottest day of my life so far. The thermometer outside my door topped 120, So... I just had to see if I could go and create music in it! Full sun and 120 heat on the strip in Las Vegas, Nevada... now that I did it and know I can do it, I won't ever have to do it again! God, I hope it doesn't ever go up to 121 so I feel the necessity to test myself with that, lol. The umbrella for shade began to melt. Mo... what a trouper he is! At night it was the cities First Friday celebration event and as usual I parked out on the street down in my neck of the woods for neighbors and visitors passing by. My neighbor Bobby stopped by and played a few tunes, there was a lot of action with strangers becoming less afraid of each other through music, inspiration, empowerment... fun, friendship and respect on the streets of Las Vegas Nevada in the Arts District with no other agenda tonight! ...in heat of over 100 degrees I might add and all through the Traveling Piano and of course in my neighborhood.
July 6, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
I have days from time to time, where it just seems impossible to take care of myself. Today was one of them. It is what it is. I did hang out with some friends for awhile, soaked in the bathtub with olive oil and epson salts, that created a "nice zone out" but basically I don't feel satisfied with myself. My birthday is in three days and I'm sure thats playing into the scheme of things. I'll never get past how my mother made my birthdays special and since those days really... nada. There have been a few through these journey years that turned out really nice but they take effort for me and thats just... I don't know, blah, blah, blah.
I turned off the comments on facebook last year and think I will do it again. I used to get like 700 birthday wishes mostly from people I don't know and then I would thank each one individually. Lol, thats how I would process the day. Some people thank everyone all at once and that seems really hollow... as are most of the wis... I need to stop, this is all bullshit. Fact is... I know, nothing. There now, I feel a lot better. I know nothing, I know nothing of what other people think and why they do what they do. I just know that I don't want to deal with any of it and can't seem to deal with anything... today.
July 5, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
Everyday is between 100 and 120 degrees. At night sometimes it dips into the upper ninties. When I walk outside the feel is not possible to ignore but I do try to normalize it in my mind because... it will be like this until the middle of September so I am told and... I've no money to go anywhere else. Mo and I walk at night. I've been having a little anxiety about his getting old and leaving me. I'm used to feeling good about the two of us getting a lot of exercise which of course is not possible and its taking its toll, I am afraid. So... I want to start thinking about how he came into my life and how it was so obviously a conscious miracle. In knowing that, I can also know and feel one hundred percent assured that he will be around as long as he is supposed to be around. We are one in spirit along with Piano Dog Boner who has passed. Also with the heat and not so much Traveling Piano activity its a good time to focus on getting him cloned in China. Yep, you read that right. Lol, its not a new idea by any stretch of the means and I have thought about and looked into the idea long before he was born. Enough on that right now but I have written about it extensively over the years in this blog. It costs $60,000. It costs $2000 to freeze his DNA for the future. Maybe I'll start a GoFundMe for it, lol!
July 4, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
A friend invited us to a Las Vegas Style 4th of July pool party and it felt really good to have something to do, a place to go and people to hang out with even though there were moments when I separated myself from everyone to hang out and soak alone for a time in the luxury of laying next to a pool under shade trees. People asked me for some Traveling Piano time and that felt really good. Some neighborhood kids stopped by as I was leaving and they happened to be from the Las Vegas Arts high school. They will never get a music lesson from anyone else like I gave them, lol. It was about music, expression, spirituality and history in a way no adult could possibly deliver in a formal school setting. We had fun.
As it was getting dark I drove around with fireworks going off everywhere and I'm not talking small neighborhood fireworks, I am talking huge pro fireworks in neighborhoods, for miles in every direction. They were going off twenty feet from us in every direction on the streets while we drove for miles and miles through neighborhoods in fact we drove over them at one point... quick and fast! Las Vegas is basically flat so if you find a high point you can see everything, everywhere. We found Cushman park where a baseball game was going on and got in to the parking just before the barriers went up as the lot had filled with locals there to watch fireworks go off after the game. I created music while overlooking the city, had a few exchanges with people and could not resist getting some photos of fireworks closeup. Mo was amazing in his ability to handle it all. As long as he is on top of the piano he is set in his ability to stay there. And, that is with no training ever, miraculous.
July 3, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
There was a guy on Charleston Boulevard waiting for a bus last night in Las Vegas, Nevada. There were several people there. I decided to create some music for them while they waited. Immediately, I heard one guy telling the others about me and how he first heard my music in a local park. He kept holding his hand to his heart while describing the true nature of it in spirit and how it soothed him and everyone around and how much he appreciated it. Another older, 70 year old guy came over almost crying as he told me how the Traveling Piano, the experience he was having was one of the most special he has ever had. With his cane, he felt inspired to climb into the truck for a picture... along with an intense desire to get close to Mo! It gives me a lot of joy seeing people put out the effort they do to get into the truck to connect with, join in and be part of the Traveling Piano experience.
The fact that there was no other agenda but Fun, Friendship and Respect overwhelmed this guy. The music as he said, made his heart sing. He wanted to give me something back, kept asking if there was a fee, wanted to buy me some food, a drink or something. I was like, "No, your going to take this experience and just fill yourself up with it, nothing more." You see, this is because I know the filling up of this guys spirit with love, that of Fun, Friendship and Respect... will result in his going forward to give it to someone else. I was getting filled up myself simply from the joy he was sharing with me. Let me tell you, it was more than plenty of joy! I began to focus on the fact that I was there specifically for the one guy only and that was enough for the entire day.
July 2, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
Trying to disconnect from the fundraising of last month is difficult. I was so focused, now I need to let it go and move on. I miss playing the piano. It has been a few days. The heat is really limiting in every way, especially for Mo. It is always over a hundred degrees day and night. I miss nature as in the beach, lush forests, etc... Having raised as much money as I did, I am sure it was my attitude which I managed to keep upbeat and the fact that there were three sources people could choose to give through. I saw last night another piano guy copying my every move. He began a fundraiser and is wording it like mine was. When people begin to clone the Traveling Piano they create distance from me. That is too bad because if they connected I would support them whole heartedly.
The problem is that what they are doing comes from self-centered ego so they feel a certain level of "guilty" and therefore think I would disapprove. There are now three bonafide copy cats of the Traveling Piano that I know of as fact, lol. Also, there have been many pianists through the years around the world inspired by what I do who have taken their pianos into open air environments in different ways. I also know for a fact that pianos on the streets of cities was inspired by my work. And then there are those who have done it and have never heard of me. I'm fairly certain no one has done it for over thirty years and continuously full time besides me. I do enjoy being unique a bit and also a "first" concerning the specifics of my work makeup. There is no way another person has blogged their piano journey every day for twelve years with a unique piece of improvised music and pictures, lol!
July 1, 2017
Las Vegas, Nevada
My month long fundraiser has ended. It was exclusively on facebook. I think only one contribution came from this website. That blows my mind. It is what it is. Anyway, on Facebook I wrote... THANK YOU... to the 74 Traveling Piano contributors over the last month... friends, who created a final total tally of $4382.00 raised to bring the Traveling Piano up to snuff! You exemplify for the world that the Traveling Piano in fact has worth and deserves support! After all matched contributions and fees deducted from the fundraising sites, (GoFundMe, Facebook Itself, The Traveling Piano Website) I will have the money to replace the trucks carburetor, brakes, tires, give it a tuneup, get the inspections, tests, registration, replace the music speaker, repair the broken camera used to share the pictures with the world... all is good. I love you all and again want to thank you for your appreciation of my life and work through financial support. I live 100% on contribution from individual people, not through work fees or tips, savings, investment, not through organizations, commercial entities or government assistance. So please contribute if you have not yet done so. There are ongoing needs... for example clothes right now. Also, the truck needs a paint job and then there are conventional living expenses such as rent, food, gas. What a month! Now, I need to stop and take a breath. Let it sink in, this latest accomplishment, let go of un-needed immediate financial concern, enjoy the moment, enjoy the Fun, Friendship and Respect I have been given, enjoy the fact that my birthday is next week... *hint* *hint* ...lol, can't help myself. Contribute!