HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010
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March 31, 2016
After waking up I did some online posting and then drove to Cave Junction to meet up with Otter, Charmaine and her mother Joan. After Easter dinner with them I did not get a chance to share the Traveling Piano with Joan and it was a priority for me. Also we were going to check out the Oregon Caves which is really something to see but it was too late in the day to get started on that so we drove to a meadow in Takilma for the music. At first it was a very nondescript area, totally rural and after a short while began to feel magical. There was a small river flowing through it with water cascading over boulders that created constant ripples of white against clear turquoise water. As soon as I began to improvise two young kids literally living in the woods appeared. One was nineteen on his own since fifteen and the other guy was 25 having been on his own since thirteen. We talked about how police are sweeping towns more and more and forcing people without homes into the woods to fend for themselves. They were awesome human beings. We talked about survival and they told me how the universe always provides for their basic needs. Their detailed examples were amazing. Then another guy came out of the woods from the opposite direction, defiantly a hippy and I was not sure whether he was camping or living in the woods.
Then a dad came with his son and daughter, everyone walking towards the music and the three of them played articulating with intense, exploration, intent and wonder. That was amazing, especially the six year old boy who had the spirit of a full grown man. None of these people have computers or the internet. I played music with the little boy and girl and also played some Ragtime and Boogie Woogie for everyone. My improvisation, I got very deep into emotion with it and went places with these people where I rarely go to for myself. While creating the music I kept asking myself if I really wanted to "go there" get more personal and intimate with people around. I went pretty deep. Once back at the motel, I ate, packed to leave tomorrow, clean up and shaved, wrote this blog and posted a few things on line... that was my day, no time for anything else like to find a place to stay or do some fundraising or any networking. I have no idea where I will be going tomorrow and its the weekend so there will not be any motels with a decent price. Motels now are beginning to charge different prices every day, whatever they want to charge wether it is fair or not and there is no consistency.
March 30, 2016
Grants Pass, Oregon
What a beautiful day. It was in the high 70's and with it being spring, anyplace can look beautiful. Originally I was going to go out just for an hour or so with the Traveling Piano but that was not meant to be. I got back to my motel room after dark. There was a strong urge to play on the downtown street. That happened but only for a very short time and late in the day. So much for taking it easy although it all sure was fun! A slight possibility for a small studio to rent in Langlois, OR has entered the mix of my life and I am trying to stay cool and calm about the prospect. There are many hoops to jump through. It is a month to month but I would need to get apartment stuff and then, its also being rented by a rental company which needs an application with background checks, etc... Ha, good luck with that as I have no proof of income or any savings to prove ability to pay or past places I've stayed other then my home that I sold many years ago for this journey. The Traveling Piano lost a hubcap today, there goes fifty bucks. Every time one goes I must replace all four because there is no room to store one of the old hubcaps as a spare for the truck!
March 29, 2016
It felt good to wake up in a clean space, rolling mountains outside the window, interstate traffic noise (not good), full sun, Mo by my side. I just can't let myself worry about money. My energy is very low. Along with sucking in mold last week I wonder if pollen has anything do with it. In a supermarket parking lot two guys approached us from New York and we spent some musical time. People being happy brings me to life. Mo and I went for a short walk "outside" a "public" county park. We parked outside the park... along with about six other cars because there was a fee to enter. How stupid and wrong is that? Very. And of course the park was 98% empty. The entrance was guarded by a large spiffy, outfitted rv with all kinds equipment, a four wheeler, etc... along with confederate flags, stand together, america first, pro gun stickers all over the rv. A public park for all the people, inclusive and welcoming, right? I really am getting old. I found out Grants Pass is another retirement spot like Bandon was which is probably why its clean and feels good to me. The other side of that coin is I've been told twice already that the cops terrorize poor people. Damm... if I had to choose dirty and poor people over repressive and clean... I guess I'd take the dirty and the poor... I've already chosen that. I just hope that enough people continue to contribute to this journey so I can stay poor enough to function but if that doesn't happen, that will be ok too, I'll just die! Lol, trust me, I'm ready. Bottom line, I'm not so sure that I'm running this show alone anyway, so dying is a none issue even though I think about it.
March 28, 2016
Josephine County, Oregon
Crazy energy was happening today. I woke up relieved to be on clean white sheets in a private room with no one to consider and then after a few hours I began to decompress which is all about becoming exhausted, uneasy, chaotic in my mind, etc... until I reach a bottom and can start anew. The day was so nice I had to go out and work with the Traveling Piano if only for an hour. Immediately interactions began in the parking lot where I was and then we drove to a local park. Like a switch, it turned cold and windy but not too much, and then about ten people appeared with bread and then pigeons, ducks and geese began to land and a feeding frenzy ensued. We had fun with people there and then drove to a local skateboard park where a kid come up to me and said he doesn't smoke pot and had about 6 grams, would I like to have it. I told him I don't smoke either, thanks anyway. Wow, I have been so drawn towards, have found myself sucked into, have had to rip myself out of addictive behavior all around me over the last half year! I wonder what that is all about. While in Arcata the other day I went into a stone and shell shop because it was the biggest I've ever seen and I am a stone and shell lover. The interesting thing about it was that there was a four by four foot glass case full of purple amethyst crystal in the store that I had an indescribable connection with. It was a little frustrating because whatever was going on was new and I didn't know what to do with it. There was an overwhelming energy of sorts, enough that I felt compelled to purchase a piece to have, should I want to explore the connection farther. I've never been into crystals or stone concerning energy. Later, I looked up online what the crystal is about and it is best known as a protection against addictions, a very protective stone for the psyche and provides calm for balance on all levels. Whatever... I don't negate much of all that any more in life but also don't look to attach myself to it.
Grants Pass... for some reason this city has been in my consciousness for months but with a sense of, "there's no reason to go there, nothings there" but I kept thinking about it and here I am. My first impression... clean. Its really a nice place, I like it, the kind of place I could actually live in. The surrounding mountains are gorgeous. Oregon's mountains in general are distinctive from anywhere else in a beautifully lumpy way. All of Oregon has surprised me tremendously. The natural environments are diverse and all significant. The picture in my minds eye of Oregon was dark, miserably wet with a barren tree type landscape. Well... it may be my most favorite state in the union concerning environment and scenery. The people who live in the pacific northwest from what I have experienced are more of what I perceive human beings should be like. They do what they want without being pushy or intrusive. There is more individuality then anywhere I have been, yet respect in our common oneness as human beings. There is less pretentiousness and practically no differentiation of class more than anywhere I've been. Of course extremes exist but they don't assert their pointed heads unless provoked which just does not seem to happen. That is where staying to your own business enters any relating. My camera fell out of the truck onto hard cement again and it was one time too many times. The protective lens cracked again and I cannot get it off, shooting pictures is now a constant work around. I heard a statement that really grossed me out. You have to save and manage enough money to pay for your life. That is just so wrong! That is the last way to perceive and prioritize the need or desire to live.
March 27, 2016
Cave Junction, Oregon
We departed from... where were we? Anyway, we drove up through Jedediah Smith Redwoods State Park from California to Cave Junction, Oregon in order to have dinner with some new friends and possibly stay with them. The Smith river color was intense and amazing. You could see fifty feet down into the water all the way to the bottom, as clear as can be. While driving, I thought about friends who have passed on in my life. What I miss about them most is not being able to love them in person. Charmaine and Otter in Cave Junction, I met them on the beach a week ago and they invited me to dinner. I asked them if they had a place I could stay or know of anyone. The dinner was full of love and appreciation. They were concerned that their home might not be a good choice to stay in considering the creature comfort level I might need. After the last five days in a wet moldy rv, they were right. I need to recouperate. The house was fine but small and they live with their mother, sister, six dogs, two cats and a pregnant cousin living in an outdoor shed with her dog. My option was a van parked outside. No can do. Earlier, a friend who was also over for dinner said she had a cabin I might be able to use but wanted to meet me eye to eye first. We met and she said no. Lol, she said the place was not ready for use, probably meaning it was a mess. I appreciated the honesty but had no sleep last night as it was raining inside the rv and... it was getting dark and I am exausted with no place to stay so that was frustrating.
I checked out a local motel for $65 bucks which was small, smelly, bad internet and no windows to open and if there was, it would have been very noisy. I asked the guy if he would take $50 a night and I would stay two nights he said no. I almost thanked him for saying no! Mo and I drove an hour more to Grants Pass, Oregon where for $20 bucks more I got the kind of room I need. Otter and I talked about options as did Larry my past host. People are always suggesting I camp or get an RV to tow the Traveling Piano truck, etc... After ten years, trust me I've thought all the options through. Who can live in a tent and work full time? Lol, the Traveling Piano is not only full time it is all the time. An RV is not my style and I'm not interested in making it my style not that there is anything wrong with an rv style. There are many reasons why they don't work for me and it serves no purpose to explain in detail why. Someone who sent me $20 via GoFundMe, asked for a refund and the site gave it without my authorization leaving me with the burden of dealing with the loss. I can't be accepting money in good faith, then spend it only to have it taken back from someone else's contribution! What if I don't have the money to return? This is very risky business with no protection for myself and I am not sure I want to leave myself vulnerable. As soon as I got into Oregon today it hit me... oh, my God its dry... dry weather, dry land! I've been in wetness for over a month. Onward...
March 26, 2016
Today in Arcata, the Humboldt Permaculture Guild had a seed and plant exchange in the community center. My present host Jerry was organizing the volunteers. Permaculture is a way to use modern and ancient techniques to implement self renewing and self perpetuating systems of land management in order to create self sustaining communities. Got that? It was the guilds 18th year and over a thousand people attended. Seeds and plants are given away and traded. If you take seeds, the deal is you plant them, grow the plants and then bring back some new seeds to share with others the next year. Nothing commercial, this is an all volunteer community effort.
The attendance was overwhelmingly young adults... very fantastic. It was drizzling so I parked the Traveling Piano under an overhang at the opening. At first the organizers were a little taken back by my driving the truck onto the cement right into the middle of the opening but they totally went with the flow. As I began to create music I witnessed what seemed like a religious event with humans gathering from all directions to be together and share resources. It was really wonderful. People bringing in plants and seeds and leaving with plants and seeds and talking about plants and seeds... a woman offered me a taste of red oxalis also known as wood sorrel and from my upbringing known as a weed. It is edible and tastes exactly like plum. I would really like to learn more about eating edible wild growth.
The people in this part of the country are truly unique, unlike anywhere else. The place reminds me of Miami, Florida. A culture, style and way of living exists in Miami and it is like a world unto itself from the rest of Florida. Same here in Humboldt county California. Never in my life have I seen so much individual style when it comes to clothes. The main dress is with grunge, rag type materials of cloth. It reflects a life style that is easy going, even tempered, unique, open minded and dare I say... liberal? In any case, it works very, very well for me. People in well dressed materials are almost indistinguishable from those in totally tattered materials. (like me) I met a mom with her sons from Bucks County, Pennsylvania where I came from. Such meetings are always fun. I've been really enjoying the people of the pacific northwest. Many in northern California consider those living in Oregon more isolated. I don't see any difference except for the numbers of people and maybe less commercial resources.
March 25, 2016
I wonder if I'm dying from the mold and mildew (drama) in the rv where I am staying in... I feel a lump in my throat. I don't know what I enjoy more being by myself in nature with Mo or interacting with people and the Traveling Piano. There is not enough time these days and I feel slow. We went to drive to a state park that charges $10 to enjoy planet earth which many people know pisses me off. On the way I found a lookout. Its good to remember there are non restricted places just as beautiful as those the park "industry" has restricted with fees. I mean really, ten dollars? Maybe two or three but ten? Anyway, I never got to leave where we first we landed because so many interesting people stopped by.
Creating music over the ocean with waves splashing over large rocks was just more than awesome and the best wave splashing spot yet! There were local guys around my age born and bred laid back Californians, families, a bunch of college kids on break, I met a guy named Mark who lives in his van who is a terrific musician, singer songwriter and we spent hours together. He wanted to do nothing more than connect through creating music with me using his guitar. Before sunset we both drove to a local park and met more people and a few of his homeless buddies. I just can't get used to the fact and I should never... concerning how the numbers of homeless people are rising. I tried to call a few friends but there is no cell phone reception for me here. Isn't that unbelievable for here in America in 2016 in a place that is not rural. It is because of a fight between Verizon and T-Mobile. They just won't cooperate to give service to everyone even though the money is flowing for companies. I feel like an old person who complains a lot!
There is still a little light out at eight in the evening and that is just soo.... nice. Just a few months ago it got dark at four in the afternoon where we were. The Traveling Piano is really serving a good purpose in life and I hope who ever reads this post will send a contribution to help keep it going because resources are without question needed now. The urgency feels strong especially today because of the people who expressed how life changing the spontaneity and synchronisty and everything else the Traveling Piano has to offer... is, and how the Traveling Piano with music has inspired them significantly to live, get out of any rut, open up, explore, trust themselves, move forward and enjoy life more. The day began with Kai, a little boy living on the property where we are staying, his mom told him to go outside and see how the goats were doing and he ended up watching a baby be born all by himself. He's going to make it a life long friend and I got some pictures with him two hours after the goat was born.
March 24, 2016
Redwood Forrest, California
I've wanted to see the redwood forests all my life and today was the day. This is the only place in the world these kind of trees grow. The humongous circular length of the trees along with the amazing textures made me dizzy. It is truly an enchanted forrest and I was the enchanted one. I walked six miles, three of them were up hill. I'm going to feel all that for sure tomorrow. Talking to trees was constant, I kept telling them individually how beautiful they were, lol. I thought, none of these trees give a shit about Donald Trump they just all "be" and do their thing, and weather the storms, and keep going. More than the size was the numbers. One huge tree is major but hundred's of thousands of humongous trees is super major. There were many trees with openings with hollow insides that were big enough to be little houses. In early times they were used to house farm animals. The road to ride through them was closed so I walked it and that was so good because it was a rough road where I would have been concentrating on being careful with the truck the entire time and also you need to really be in it walking, not seeing it from a vehicle. Before heading up I recorded some music, met people and shared the Traveling Piano with them. When I was creating music I could feel how different it was from the usual. The music resonated with the magic environment I was in. A heard of elk crossed the road on all sides within ten feet of us.
March 23, 2016
Humboldt County, California
Last night after all the activity yesterday I was too tired to deal with my present living situation which is not easy and just fell asleep. Been through it all before, nothing new except maybe my willingness to deal. I'm in another rv that has not been used for a while. Larry my host took the time to mow grass around it and cleaned up somewhat, set out flannel sheets for me to use... but has had no reason to check things in detail seeing no one has used the rv since fall. He knew it had a leak but did not know how bad. So the place is very grimy which he does not mind but I do. The mattress could not be used because it is soaking wet, the walls and corners or filling with mildew and mold, the carpeted floor is soaking wet, etc... I slept with my clothes on and slept on a foldout couch that felt like wet rocks. While waking up in the middle of the night several times my face was in a strong smell of urine from the rv wall... from mice pee and poop. Larry woke me up in the morning and the first words out of my mouth were, "Larry I can't stay." Here's the thing. This is the best he has to offer and I cannot stay in his house for several reasons which we both agree on. Some people would take the attitude of, "be grateful for what you have and deal with it." Well, my goal is to function... so "grateful" is not appropriate here. Other people would say, "Ok, sorry it didn't work out, goodbye" but not this guy Larry. His type of guy is to jump on the problem, create solutions. He is why I do this journey, the kind of guy I seek to connect with in life, he's the type of person I want to share with the world. His reaction was, "Ok, lets work with this, lets see if we make make other arrangements, if I can find another place for you, etc... He is a man who extends himself for others and believes in making the best possible of all worlds with what there is to work with.
He runs a non-profit to prepare people to live under the conditions that climate change is creating. I clicked with him immediately as he grew up in New York City, his family moved to Philadelphia and lived two blocks from where I used to live back at the same time in the late 70's. His ninety year old dad lives next door and Larry has a busy wife who works hard and needs her downtime in quiet and silence. Boy, do I get that! We talked about using a small tree house he uses as an office but it is real small and it would be a pain in the ass to get Mo up and down from the sleeping loft. Mo sleeping with me gives me a feeling of security. He called friends to see if I could stay with them. He switched out heaters because the one used was drying up my throat. I pulled my sleeping bag out from under the piano in the truck to help with the couch and smells. Now, at least I know the mildew smell from the sleeping bag, where came from, its mine. I cleaned some of the counters, found a few electrical outlets that work, kept the heat on all day to help dry out the place. My cell phone doesn't work here but the internet does. We talk a walk. Larry has a redwood forrest on his property. We are somewhat in a rain forrest. A helicopter flew over doing a test warning for an earthquake. They want people to call in to see if they could here the megaphone screaming from the helicopter "your all going to die in a minute or two"
Larry has tenants and I met a mom named Erica and her son Kai and his friend and a newborn baby one and a half months old. Wow, were they fun! The baby laid down on the piano top with Mo still to young to roll so he was safe. The kids got onto the piano to play from the top... two pet dwarf goats got onto the piano top with Mo! My dog is so amazing that he deals with and allows so much diversity in his space all the time! The friends mom got on the piano then Larry... I could not think I was so exhausted so I just felt my way through the entire time with joy and on automatic pilot. I'm going to try another night in the rv as my new friend gave me the vote of confidence in wanting for my comfort and to stay. Together we can deal with it. Thats a great thing, the fact that he is willing to help me with my discomfort and embrace the fact without feeling put off. It gives me the ability to compromise my needs. I took a drive through Eureka and it seemed a bit nondescript. I saw a sign at a red light saying it would cost a $498 dollar ticket for going through a red light. That is such a "tell" for a place. The "tell" is for repressive government and politics. It was verified with neighborhoods as poor and deplorable as can be, typical for a repressive local government to have laws that punish the poor as much as possible and use laws to make money for themselves. It gives those with an upper-hand an illusionary sense of control. In Trinidad I'm beginning to see nice cars, nicer than up north which is a sign of heading into a more urban culture. They are mostly vehicles traveling through the area.
March 22, 2016
We connected today with a couchsurfing guy named Larry. It feels very important to keep the tradition of strangers taking in strangers, travelers... and giving them a place to stay simply for the sake of hospitality, alive. The concept of giving and sharing for the sake of giving and sharing is what holds us together in reality. Friendship and relationship with what we have in common as in being human beings as one is what I am about. Larry, me and Mo took a short walk across the street to the ocean and down to a cliff... more sea stacks! I drove to Collage Cove and took a hike down to the beach and back up. It was kind of strenuous but the difficulty did not stop me. I felt providence with me the whole day. Larry suggested I put on boots (which are a pain in the ass to get on) to walk across the street and I thought it was a waste of time but followed his lead. Then once I got back up the hill from the beach there were three kids sort of stopped like they were waiting for me and I asked them if it was possible to get to the most outward cliff. I followed them through thick brush which I would never have found myself and we walked through ankle deep mud.
I realized it seemed like I was putting the boots on for Larry but they were in actuality on another level of reality for the mud and the kids were right at the turn in the path to make sure I went in the right direction and to take me where I wanted to go. When I got back to the truck I began having some Traveling Piano fun with a few surfers and then in perfect timing the kids came back to spend a few moments. This area of the country is the hot spot for growing pot as they call it now-a-days medical marijuana. Nowhere in the country does it grow better than here and it has turned into a huge money making industry. I was offered to "dab" a few times and that is to smoke a joint so concentrated with resin its almost like a hit of heroin. I passed up on all of that. So much for the days of smoking a joint as a relaxing leisure activity! They then took me to the beach for sunset. Again, more Traveling Piano fun. A long day of travel, meeting new people, strenuous hike and the Traveling Piano work... I'm shot! (as in depleted of energy)
March 21, 2016
Gold Beach, Oregon
I woke up and it was pouring rain, a day to get some serious work done as in organizing, find a place to stay, processing pictures, working towards the future, cutting my hair... then at noon the sun came out. There was no way could I stay in the room. One last walk on the beach was the agenda and... take it easy. It began to rain again but stopped as soon as we parked the truck for a walk it stopped. Then it began again once we were done and got back into the truck. By nightime my energy began to fade. I'm glad I did not push myself too much today. The idea of moving on tomorrow... difficult, but ok.
March 20, 2016
There are so many pictures I want to post here on this blog. They will all be in the picture galleries so I hope you will check them out. It was raining heavy when I woke up and so I thought it was going to be a day of work on the computer but then the rain stopped. We will be leaving Oregon soon (sad) so I don't want to miss any opportunity to see as much as possible. We drove to Bookings which was only supposed to be a half hour away but hours later we were still on the road. There were so many places along the way to stop. I fell into a daze everywhere with the magnificent awesomeness of nature. There was one ten story high rock on a beach that you could climb up and into. It had a natural seat from high above to sit and relax and watch the ocean. People we met along the way shared our love for the present moment. I never even actually got into the town of Brookings because the state park right before it, we couldn't leave.
Rain finally forced me out and also, it was getting dark. There were a lot of people around, like twelve at one time and it felt like too many! Lol, what am I going to do when I get back into urban areas. I'm sure I will adjust but do I want to? In the old days I could deal with a crowd of people easy. Not anymore, the where-with-all is not there. Maybe its a matter of practice or like riding a bike. On the beach in my head I was like, "people, get out of my picture." Ha, I have become so used to no people at all! Everyone with the Traveling Piano... we spent the the day with one hundred percent interested and friendly people! I couldn't leave until I absolutely had to. On the way back, I stopped to check out a place someone said had monthly rentals. Nada, but a girl there had seen me drive by on my way down and was super interested so of course you know what happened. The tarp came off again, etc...
March 19, 2016
Last night I was too exhausted to move, my entire body was a big ache yet I could not fall asleep until after one in the morning because of all the day's wonderful stimulation. I've spent just about all my time here in Oregon on the ocean so before leaving I wanted to see a little bit inland. Also the Rogue river is renown for its beauty and I wanted to see that. Jet boats are needed because the river is shallow with rocks and the season for jet-boats has not started so driving through the Siskiyou National Forest was the only option, and that way I could see some of it. Mo and I headed east to Agness, Oregon. It was what local people call a "full meander." To get to Angess I drove over thirty miles east and it was total curves the entire time and full of awesome beauty, unbelievable, as good as nature can get and way beyond anything I have ever seen in "lushness."
On the way I saw a bridge but there was nowhere to pull off so I stopped at someone's house and asked if I could take a picture from their property. That resulted in taking off the piano tarp and having some music all around. It was a misty, rainy day but the sky cleared just long enough for a good time with everyone. The last three miles into Agness was on a one lane road. Everything kept narrowing down, getting smaller, going down into this tiny little place in the middle of nowhere. Agness has a post office and general store, thats it. Mail is delivered by boat. The place reminded me of Kennecott, Alaska but it is even smaller. In Kennecott the mail is delivered by plane. There was a real feeling of remote isolation but it felt safe until... a guy began telling me how there are many rednecks in the Oregon woods. He married into a family that has been there since the 1800's so they deal with him but he'll never be one of them. On arrival he had long hair and they told him to cut it or they would do it for him. Back in the early 70's the sheriff in this county took control for himself and his boys. Hippies and black people had moved in and he terrorized them all with jail and threats.
Then he made them work up on a mountain for two months, paid them, drove them to a nearby bridge, let them off and told them to leave and never come back. I was told the Oregon redneck territories have more backhoes (for fallen trees) and guns then anywhere else. The rednecks live in little clicks. If someone needs help in an emergency they all gather to do what is necessary to help each other but no friendliness results. When done they simply retreat back to their huddles. The owner of the general store gave me a large home made loaf of oatmeal and raisin bread. His wife was not there as she is sick and also a graduate of Juilliard, a concert pianist. The rain stopped again so I was able to create more music. After about ten minutes I arrived a car pulled up with a mom, her daughter and cousin. They said, "hey, your famous." Lol, they work across the street from where I stayed in Bandon (almost a hundred miles away) for a month and never got to meet me. There was not one car I saw on the entire drive to Agness. What a chance meeting this was and the fact that they were traveling the same route not far behind me was crazy interesting!
March 18, 2016
Gold Beach, Oregon
At exactly 11:00am room service knocked on my door to remind me that check out was at 11:00am. I said I know and looked at the clock saying it is just now 11:00am. She said its 11:01am and I told her she was going to give me a few more minutes! Lol, Mo and I departed from Brandon and on the way south and checked out an apartment in Port Orford. In knowing the girl who showed us the apartment was curious about the Traveling Piano and drove a half hour so show the apartment... we spent some musical time together. I'm trying to do what is right and best for my life in looking for a home-base while continuing the journey. Deep down I know my focus must stay prioritized on working with the Traveling Piano in connection with other people and not on lost feelings of need. We booked into a Motel6 in Gold Beach because I did not want to spend the day looking around for something less expensive and I don't want to pay extra fees for Mo. The last Motel6 experience was worse than bad. There was a very interested and happy, easy going guy who takes care of the rooms. He jumped onto the Traveling Piano for a minute. It is so enjoyable to experience people who see something new and easily join in, want to be part of and embrace opportunity for more happiness in their life. Then I decided to drive into the country and a bit up the Rouge River. Most of my time has been spent on the ocean. We found a corner store with a bar and some very crusty people were sitting at the bar who were really fun and down to earth. These were the kind of people I really enjoy! I asked them if they have been sitting there since yesterday (St. Patricks Day) and they said they are always sitting there and just pull down the blinds when the store closes.
The countryside... magical came to mind with the mountain tops, depth, meadows and green lushness. I stopped at a small pull-off just to create some music for myself and two guys stopped by. One asked me to drive the Traveling Piano to the Silver Hook Restaurant and Lounge on the other side of the river to play for the owner Lorraine. With that on my mind I knew it was a good idea to tend to the commitment immediately. Lorraine invited me into the restaurant and without thought, treated me to a fantastic rib, mashed potatoes and gravy with broccoli dinner and a salad. I sat and ate in the most amazing scenery on the Rogue River. This restaurant in Gold Beach has not yet been open for a year and its going to develop into a destination for sure! The friendliness, good food, service and wow the beauty that surrounds this place... the world needs more establishments like this, places that extend generosity to others. They made me feel special! The bar blended in completely as to not interfere with the natural family environment. Lorraine, her husband, the cook and waitress all came outside to get onto the Traveling Piano just as rain began. Once back in the motel room, I shut the world out completely. The last place was more social even though there was little interaction with people. Maybe the openness with nature was part of that. I lit a few candles, put down Mo's rug and set my things out to help make it feel like a comfortable space and not just a sterile motel room. The window opens and even though it is noisy with traffic, that helps. The only noise in the last place was ocean waves.
March 17, 2016
I woke up and thought, "oh my God what am I going to do, where am I going to go, where am I going to stay." (concerning my leaving tomorrow) Then I thought, "your priorities are out of order, your first... supposed to think, "Fun, Friendship, Respect with Musical Empowerment and Inspiration." Once I got my priorities in order the day began correctly. While being very conscious to enjoy and not rush anything, I made a ham, egg and cheese sandwich and then sat down to do some computer work. My decision, the plan was to hang out and enjoy this motel room for one last day because chances are this experience may never come around again. It was full sun and warm for the first time in over a month. I figured I would go out in the afternoon onto an empty beach and create music for about an hour and then just hang out in my room with the doors open and full ocean in front of me for the rest of the day.
Well, that didn't happen. There are sea lions that hang out nearby and I wanted to get a good picture of them before leaving so I went searching. They were not around but where we were parked, a terrific piano player from Canada appeared with his kids and so the musical fun began. They were all from Vancouver and he plays with members of Vince Guaraldi's band the guy who wrote the Charlie Brown Peanuts Cartoon music that is very popular at Christmas time so, we recorded it. My camera card died but luckily I had my new backup with me. Then a couple with their dogs who we met on the beach last week found us. We were meeting all kinds of people and several brought up an artist who has come up in conversation from other people over the last few weeks as what he does, I suppose his intent resonates with people in the same way as with what I do.
He creates labyrinth designs in the sand for the public and was doing it today so I wanted to meet him which I did. We were meant to meet I have no idea why maybe it was just for the experience of meeting each other. He has also had a paradigm shift later in life like I have had but his has been stronger from my perspective and now in a new life its starting to work very well for him. He is involved with the Center for Spiritual Living and is man of religious science dedicated to the discovery of our inner power and spiritual tools. A friend who helps him was there and saw me with the Traveling Piano earlier. He had been at home reading this blog and began telling me all about my last few days. Ha, that felt really good and as a result I had a feeling of connection in not being alone. He told me how some people might have reservations concerning what I am about from reading this blog but he "gets" me totally with what I write and why I write it. People receive me in all different ways and all those ways are none of my business... except for the ones who "get" me in whatever way works! Lol... I met many locals today and we had some really good fun. For the sunset I sat in my room overlooking the ocean, totally exhausted in a good way.
March 16, 2016
Gold Beach, Oregon
Its getting closer to moving on time. I don't know whether to spend my last hours fundraising, working with the Traveling Piano, looking for a place to stay, or enjoying the nature. I choose nature and drove to Gold Beach. Then, the feeling to create music in the environment was a must but the speaker did not work. Oh, God what a fucking pain in the ass! I thought, "Are you going to spend that last moments of this fantastic time in Oregon trying to get the piano to work? The day was spent in the most unbelievable scenery skewed by the fact that I may need to be on the road moving from place to place with no way to repair what needs to be repaired. I met a couple who have been missionaries in Papua New Guinea for twelve years and they were super interesting. There was not enough time to spend talking with them.
I scheduled a stay for the day after tomorrow with a guy I've never met in Crescent City, California with his two young children, a few other people who were going to be staying with him and his two elder cats in a small house. Leaving my present scenario and going into that environment, what a jolt but I'm ready to put myself out there full force to manifest strangers becoming less afraid of each other. I phoned him and found out his cats shed allot because they are old and also sleep in the bed I would use. Deal breaker, allergies... onward. It will be the weekend when I leave with spring break starting so motels are going to be booked. I reserved the weekend at a local Motel 6 most reluctantly as the last one had bed bugs and they put me through a huge ordeal to get my money back. I can always cancel as a friend suggested. If I get into a pinch, the room is there. Breath! Enjoy Life! Breath!
March 15, 2016
I have been having one of the best times in my entire life. Staying on the ocean with the views, the comfort and privacy without need to worry about agenda has been completely wonderful. Am I glad I stayed around long enough to have the experience? Yes. Does it motivate me to stay around in life longer to have even better experiences? No. My ability to cope with not good experiences in life is waning. To pull myself out of them is becoming more taxing. Never the less I have been milking what I have been able to give myself through God... for all its worth. I'll be here until Friday morning and then what... I have no idea. I began to pack because its going to take days for me to orient myself to being on the road again. On a trip out to the truck two sisters appeared and showed interest so, of course that interest manifested. After they were done I created some music a minute for them and realized that I needed to do more so I drove to a spot close by and did just that. Like the muscles on my body the muscles in my fingers are disappearing and I can feel the fragility and lack of power I can put forth through them. Also, I have several screws in my one hand and I don't know with age whether I am feeling the humidity or its the lack of muscle but... I feel the difference when I try to move in certain ways on the keyboard.
I took Mo for a short run on the beach as he was feeling very rambunctious and needed it. While walking I came across my very first giant sea turtle in the sand. Unfortunately it has passed and that felt very sad. Back at where I am staying I finished a double backup of my archives and looked at one of the video tapes I sent to Oprah for support with my Wildest of Dreams back in 2007. I sent a fresh video tape everyday for two years. Lol, I couldn't even get through watching one of them... know wonder no one ever called me. It was painfully boring, drawn out and slow but I was practicing on being me. I had never done anything like that before and was very uncomfortable always. Mr. gregarious Danny Kean, not. My goal was to put forth the real me and I did for better or worse. It was what it was whether I seemed out of the ball park with any possibility of joining the Harpo team with a project or not. It was fun, I became more comfortable in my own skin as a result and the entire process created an anchor for my process forward in life... this journey I have been on. Seeing Piano Dog Bo on video warmed my heart. I have very little video of Bo or Mo.
March 14, 2016
I felt better today, went for a walk on the beach while consciously separating, not attaching any sadness of leaving with the present joy I was feeling. It also rained so I hide inside by closing the curtains to the parking lot and leaving a no service sign on the door. That felt good. There is a huge difference between rain with or without wind. Without wind creates a sedentary or boring mood depending on what I choose and with heavy wind its all about exciting stimulation or aggravating chaos again, what I choose. Over the last week I have found myself fumbling like dropping something and going with the flow as its falling and I try to save it. While trying to pick stuck tin foil off the bottom of a pizza I began to mess it up and it fell apart all over my hands as I made it worse but I just kept dealing with it in slow mo' until I unraveled myself from the mess. Things like that are truly comical but I remember times in my life where instead of going with the flow of my fumbling, I'd try to push through whatever and as a result cause a lot of damage. I've been fumbling through life, no question about it. I'm a fumbler and always have been. It is what it is.
March 13, 2016
Ok, Now I know what everyone has been talking about with the storms here. They can be super severe and several times a day, all day long and even with the sun out. Although, its forcing me to stay in doors and get some work done. I must decide where to go, find places to stay (that is on a list I'll never get to) file pictures and send them to people (that I always do because it keeps me fresh with purpose and it is fun) fundraise for contribution (that is a must and I've been making something like three bucks an hour) ...backup data (if I wasn't so confused all the time I could set up software to do it for me in one third the time but then again doing it manually helps me to remember what exists) ...and other stuff. Bottom line for today... I am sick, real sick with a syndrome I get. Its the second time since I've been here. The runs, headache, depression, cannot keep my body warm, chills, waves of pain in my groin area beyond belief, inability to stay awake and function with my mind... a total shut down. As I get older every tendon and muscle in my body weakens with pain when this syndrome comes along. I know it is because I pushed myself physically too much yesterday. How much is too much has always been a problem for me. The cure is to lay flat out on my back and do not move, no movement, completely still for as long as it takes and also sleep, lots of deep sleep without moving. As thrashing in my sleep is a norm, the constant waking up to stay still creates long periods of need to sleep. Turning to either side while sleeping makes it worse.
Onto better... I had enough energy to cook dinner for myself. The place where we are staying has a kitchen and I purchased some corn beef, cabbage and carrots. As I have few utensils and room... in a small pot I cooked the corn-beef. Took it out, added more water to the pot and cooked the cabbage and added sea salt and cyan pepper. There was just enough room. Took that out and cooked the carrots. Then found a big plastic bowl and combined it all while adding some butter. It was a perfect amount of everything to create an even mix and all perfect size pieces. Nothing was too crunchy or mushy and it was a hot, perfect and delicious meal of perfection exactly as I had dreamed about. I thought about and enjoyed how good it tasted until I fell asleep. Wow, I did enjoy that. Also it was fun to make due successfully with the limited kitchenware I had to work with.
March 12, 2016
Cape Argus, Oregon
Making the decision to hike verses play music verses stay in today and do some computer filing... too many decisions but finally I choose hiking because it was too windy for music, my time here is limited and the rain stopped. Then the day was spent dodging rain. First I headed south then north ending up at Cape Argus which I wanted to visit one more time before leaving. In places like this there really is no hiking its more like meandering around in a mindless, wondrous daze with all the colors, sounds, movement, textures and the power of nature. I think I pushed myself too much physically without being aware because I was totally immersed in spirit. On the way out I stopped at a lookout to take a picture and a family was interested in the Traveling Piano so I tore off the cover and we had some fun time together. Then back at the motel I remembered severe storms were forecast once again and I wanted the safest spot for parking which was taken. An older guy came out of his room and immediately asked about the Traveling Piano and I asked if by any chance he owned one of the vehicles parked where I wanted to park. He graciously gave me his spot and then his newlywed wife appeared. He eighty two and she seventy they were just married a few hours ago. When I can catch on the ride of people in a special celebration with the Traveling Piano there is nothing else like it. I am very much adding to there special time and as a result my spirit rises to a level of elation that cannot be topped. Marianne is a nurse and Keith had been a school music teacher. Wow, were they fun!
March 11, 2016
The sunset on the beach by the rock formations yesterday was magnificent. I'm glad I spent some time out because today it rained for most of the day. It was a good time to look for some funding. I sent emails out to everyone, anyone who has ever emailed me even the recent people. Part of me worries that it will take away from the experience I've given to them freely but again... inserting projected negativity does not help anything. There will always be a full spectrum of how people feel and what they think and it all is usually related to what is going on in their lives at any given moment. People will think what they want to think about my asking for support and what they think is none of my business. My intent is all that matters and I have good intent. It is important for me to remember that I'm out to connect with like minded people who are giving so I can continue to keep giving with them.
March 10, 2016
China Creek, Oregon
I've really been allowing myself to shut down. It has taken weeks but its happening. Doing what I want to do especially if its nothing, is a treat. Usually, there is obligation and expectation, responsibility about life that I put on myself daily. Handling any of that from other people is a huge challenge anymore as I give myself enough pressure to live this life. Pressure is not good but it is what it is. Taking a nap during the day, binge watching a television series, sleeping in as long as I want... feels good. Before the sun set we did go out because there was no rain. I found a most magnificent spot directly on the ocean, a wide open area with nothing around but nature. I recorded music and people would drive in and out. One guy Tom, he got onto the piano to explore some music and we had a really good exchange. It will be easy falling asleep because I created music for a long while all by myself and that is exhausting because I don't do it very often anymore.
March 09, 2016
Wow, it was windy and rainy all day. I guess this is what they talked about concerning weather in Oregon but still, it was awesome at the beach and in a dry secure, warm, comfortable place. Although, after about six hours of crazy wind the constant noise, it got a little nerve racking. At night I was thinking how it was the worst storm I've ever been in with wind gusts of eighty miles an hour and thick rain swirling and slapping everywhere. All I could do was hope that the Traveling Piano truck cover would stay on. I parked it in a corner by some trees earlier because I knew it was going to get really bad with the wind. These buildings built in the 30's are amazing to be able to withstand the weather although water did begin to seep in from the ceiling at one point. There was one storm I can remember that was worse. It was while driving through Newfoundland with the Traveling Piano to the east coast. That was down right traumatizing but what an adventure to live through and be able to talk about!
March 08, 2016
It was a putz around day with rain and putzing. Thank God I can give that to myself and not have constant urgency in life. Sometimes I need to just shut down without sleeping. The ability comes through the support of other people, faith and knowing how important it is in life to be able to be a putz once in a while.
March 07, 2016
This morning I did some soul searching as whether to change course and settle down, find a way to die or just keep going on with life as a total uncertainty in most ways. What came through is to stay the course and just keep going on with life as a total uncertainty in most ways. So, I decided to let go of what I have been holding onto in case I find a home. Things like toilet paper and soap from motel stays over the last half year, some miniature lights to help make a room feel warmer, the spare piano and speaker, a special teddy bear my dad gave to me before he passed, a down feather comforter full of love the security and comfort my friend Orinda gave to me while in Newfoundland, a truck battery start charger which I have never used and the double outdoor truck cover for severe weather with longer stays in one place at a time. All of that has been taking up room in the truck and I can't keep lugging it around until whenever. I cried a little and then the women I recently met Susan, she said she would accept stewardship of everything for me and that felt good as want everything to go to a kind and loving person. After the decision, I looked out the window and there was a rainbow in the sand that began right in front of me. I did not make any connection to it other than that it was awesome. Then I decided to book my room here until March 18th because I want to. It is important, crucial even... to enjoy fully this experience staying oceanside.
Soon after as I was carrying stuff outside from my room one of the house keepers approached and asked me to keep a lookout in my room for her keys as she lost them. I looked down in the grass in front of me and there they were. Then I realized something was up, that I am in tune and connected spiritually in the way back when the journey began. As I think now, it has to do with trust and knowing that I am not alone, am being taken care of and there is more to this physical realm than meets the eye. It rained in the morning and then the sun came out so I pushed myself to enjoy the day. There has been too much focus on "what do I do", "where should I and where can I go, how can I keep on living or do I want do." There has been a constant from people here in Bandon over the last few days. People I have run into have been happy, they talk about fun. It is a conscious decision for them to live life in joy and I see them walking the walk. Mo and I took a drive up Langlois mountain road. It was lush with green hills and meadows full of cows and coats. Then we drove through forests of trees and I found it difficult to imagine everything being even more lush in summer than it is now in winter, lush without leaves on the trees. We drove through areas where you could see forrest, meadows, rolling hills, mountains, lakes, the ocean beach with its waves and the full ocean all at the same time!
At the end of the road were several very unwelcoming private property signs. When I see signs such as this I just want to smack silly the idiots who post them. You just know they are the same kind of people who constantly shout land of the free (for themselves) and say that they live in God's country. (without realizing God owns it, not them) Onward... we drove to Floras lake and beach as I wanted to create some music. I did that and behind me were a couple but I ignored them because I just wanted to play by myself. It was the first time I was using the new speaker. Afterwards while walking on the beach I met a woman visiting who was trying to decide whether she wanted to move here. I also met a couple that I thought was the same couple trying to connect back at the truck but was mistaken. They looked identical. I had wanted to apologize for ignoring them and to offer some fun when we all got back. So... I went back alone and as I arrived the original couple was leaving the parking area and as they were passing in their truck I asked if they wanted to get onto the piano. There was a super strong pull from them. We had a good time and at the end I created some music. They both broke down crying while telling me how they recently lost their daughter and my music got to them. That was God, the Universe or whatever's love connecting with them through the music. I was the catalyst and felt honored. Without question as I know from past experience that their daughter was reaching out to them through my music to validate and reassure that everything was good and alright and that they were doing the right thing in coping... they were enjoying life for her. By enjoying a walk in nature, wanting to connect with the Traveling Piano which is something new, fun and different that has crossed their path, a new life experience... they were walking the walk, faking it till they make it, doing everything necessary to continue living life in joy without their daughter present. We were meant to connect. Love was to be manifested all around. It was not the first time for something like this.
Then on the way back I decided to meander onto another mountain road to the west and passed two woman pruning apple trees. One woman had a baby on her back and they both looked too interested not to turn the truck around and go back to offer some music for them while they worked. They asked if I would go to their house down the road to give the experience for their children and a friend who was trying to decide whether to stay in the area or leave tomorrow to go back to Vermont. Guess who the woman turned out to be? I had met her on the beach earlier. I'm in a spiritual groove that manifested tangible validation and reassurance today and it has been a long while since its been as clear as it was today..
March 06, 2016
A local woman named Susan from an email sent to her from someone else trying to help me find a place to stay phoned to ask if I was looking for a job as her church needs a musician. Of course there's no chance but she was very friendly and so we connected. I actually went to the church service. Any opportunity to extend myself cannot be passed up whether I want to take advantage or not. It was a Unity Church service and amazingly I've never been to one before. From playing in thirteen different religious churches between the age of fifteen and twenty one and also attending the services of many Traveling Piano hosts with them throughout the last ten years, I've experienced a huge number of different denominational churches but never before a Unity church. What struck me about today's service was how everyone in attendance wanted to be there. It did not seem like anyone was present out of obligation, expectation or habit. They were all happy people and old. Ha, Bandon is a major retirement town! I was treated to lunch after afterwards and then we went to Susan's home with her friends Kris and Bill where I played some acoustical piano for them and recorded some. Here On YouTube
March 05, 2016
There was not much sleep to be had last night. When I got up I had some terse words with one of the managers where we are staying. Damm, wish that had not happened. I really like most everyone here and its been grand. It reminded me how we will need to move on soon and how I really need a home of my own again now after ten years. It rained all day so Mo and I hunkered down and just kept low. I don't remember much of today it is pretty much a fog.
March 04, 2016
Coos Bay, Oregon
It was not raining and I was trying to decide what to do. We ended up driving into Coos Bay to pick up my speaker. The music store really did a favor for me in servicing it right away, and the speaker is now back into its half working shape. They charged me forty five bucks which I really appreciated. Still I did not have sound and after about an hour of trouble shooting figured out one half of a cable was also bad. When all that was done an older guy came into the store and he was so interesting looking, a real character and proud of it, I just had to talk to him. He looked like he was out of a fantasy book with a pegged leg, tweed suit jacket, dungarees, seafarers cap, a walking stick and huge white beard. He was with his son and we spent a good hour together talking about all sorts of things. They were a very interesting duo and then as I drove back to Bandon part of me wanted to go create some music but I was just too drained and exhausted. Also, it is hard work to consciously enjoy what I have to work with concerning the speaker. All kinds of adjustments are needed in how I create any music to have even half decent musical quality.
When I got back to the motel the manager pulled out the new speaker that had arrived. It is always difficult with new equipment as I must override thoughts of the expense to enjoy anything. A couple staying in the room under me was very interested in the Traveling Piano and so of course an exchange began and that became very satisfying and interesting also. Another couple came over with their three month old son. The friendship with people today stood out strong and I thought how much I enjoy being with people having fun. At first I did not want to interact because as I said I was very tired but because I pushed through not only did I have some good friendship as a result I also created music with the new speaker for the first time. That was totally cathartic for my sense of well being and I felt grateful that even though it took another notch out of what little financial security I have left, the quality of my musical life is most important. The people who stay at this motel know the place. Most that I have met have been coming here for years. They come visit just to get away from where they live for mini vacations. Most everyone I've met live about two hours away. When I see other people taking care of themselves it reminds me of how important it is to take care of myself, treat myself more than worry or spend time conserving because of needy concerns.
March 03, 2016
It was a most sunny and beautiful day. Dealing with the speaker created anxiety but getting outside was more important and the beach here is totally magical and magnificent. Once I was in the french countryside and found a castle where I walked around exploring through chimney stacks on the roof. I was reminded of that today while I walked around stone stacks exploring textures and colors with waves splashing everywhere. Although by the end I was feeling very ill from an unexplainable condition I can get. This morning I could feel it and then the walking did me in. Even though it was beautiful and sunny I was in bed by four in the afternoon and slept until after sunset in total pain the entire time. If I had the choice between enjoying the few hours on the beach to avoid getting sick... I would still have chosen the beach. There is a little sense of urgency to enjoy every moment I can and whatever the consequences so be it. The Traveling Piano is down because the sound system died. I'm working on that. These pictures are from the last week or so.
March 02, 2016
Sunset Bay, Oregon
Spending time with rain clouds, sand dunes and ocean waves while tucked high up inside a comfortable room overlooking it all is awesome. Today we were driving around in Coos Bay. Rain on dirty asphalt and cement with commercial buildings and traffic everywhere, can we talk depressing? Mo and I did spend some time between the drizzle in Sunset Bay on the coast. The colors and rock formations were colorful to say the least. I was thinking about how my pictures are often with dark skies or when it is getting dark. Then I process them to make them as real as possible because the camera setting is always on automatic and does not let in enough light for the photos. I dropped the piano speaker off to a repair guy and that will cost $35 bucks to see if I want to spend more just to have it repaired. If I do spend the money to repair it, I'll probably have to gift it to someone just like the spare piano I have with me. I can't keep carrying it all around and cannot see just dumping a $900 dollar broken speaker that can possibly be repaired for a $100?
March 01, 2016
Last night before bed, in the dark I took a short walk in my slippers with Mo to the ocean's edge and stood in the darkness with awe that the moment was happening. This morning I woke to how people have been telling me the weather can be in winter with sustained gail force winds and thick blowing rain across sand dune grass waving frantically in the air. Along with that bill of fare were ocean waves crashing ashore from every direction. I thought about how powerful nature is with its strength. Strong storms I enjoy the weak ones make me weary and are a drag. I sat on a sofa with a hot cup of coffee in front of a large picture window and a few feet away heat came up from the floor in front of it. The room I am in is perfect, nice and clean and I'm feeling safe and secure, satisfyingly private and I just hung out alone with my buddy Mo. After a few hours I cooked up some hot steel cut oatmeal with a fresh apple, sugar and cinnamon.
There is a little hesitation to write the good stuff here as many people will not understand how important this comfort level is for me right now especially in seeing as I may be homeless and out of money when I leave here. The reality... this is the journey. I refuse to spend my time (when I have enough clarity of mind) looking down the road with worry, projection and urgency along with ideas of awful consequence as a result of my decisions and choices. That is not the journey. The ten year success I have had is filled with zero of that kind of input from me. Then some may say well, now its catching up to you and you see the results. If I had followed that kind of thinking this journey would not have been. As a result of letting go of that kind of thinking, ten more years of a fantastic life happened in fact I have lived more in the last ten years than all fifty before it. People contribute money for many personal reasons whether it be out of fear that I "need" or for God, for the fun of it, and also for me to bring happiness to others. I must choose happiness for myself in order to do that. I am appreciative for contribution no matter what the personal rational. The people that hold me together are the ones that give because they want me to be happy for myself, on my terms and with my definition of happiness. That is unconditional love.