HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010
Use the links to the left to read a past Month or Year... and then there is always your Backspace to return to a past page.
January 31, 2016
I could say it is officially ten years tomorrow for this journey but I looked back (which I rarely do) and see that I actually left my house for the first time on February 19th and that is when this blog begins. Then again, this whole process started personally in June of 2005. So, part of me wants to have a specific date to celebrate but the music, the journey, the sharing, the travel all started on different dates back then. So anyway, its ten years going... I spent half the day organizing my belongs to pack into the truck and then Kellen and Katie who I met last night treated me to dinner and we had some fun in the dark with the Traveling Piano and Katie's dog Clifford and Mo before it began to drizzle rain. It rained all day. This young couple is queer! That used to be a very derogatory term but they told me the gay community has taken it back to use in a positive way because of all the new gender identities in the world. Queer now takes in gay, lesbian, homosexual, transgender, anyone who considers themselves sexually dissident. Kellen is very out about being a Christian and transgender which means Kellen sometimes feels like a man in a woman's body which has nothing to do with body parts. Kellen does not like to be referred to as female or male. We had some deep discussion about it and I very much appreciated their friendship and sharing.
January 30, 2016
Life is moving very slow. That is the feeling I deal with when I'm packing, going through everything, deciding placement of supplies in the truck for accessibility, what to leave behind, remembering what I have, etc... There are things that take up a lot of room that I have not used in ten years but I know as soon as I dump it I'll need it... for example a starter/charger for the truck battery. There are many things I must have with me... enough clothes to get me through a week, plus for all seasons, my computer equipment, backups, spare equipment, dog food, personal needs, hardware, some kitchen wear for motel rooms, general equipment, etc... It is truly painful to go through every item over and over and over. Finding places to stay and allowing myself to spend money on motels and even worse... paying additionaly for Mo over and over and over... that is even more painful. And then this happens... I take Mo to the dog park and jump on the truck for a few minutes to create music and a girl walks up to me to hand me some money. She just wanted to connect, thank me and tell me how beautiful it was. After we talked for about two minutes then she got serious and said oh, let me give you fifty dollars. Lol, the bottom line is that people really care about the music and the Traveling Piano and then me once they begin to learn about what is going on. How can I not continue even though it is so difficult? That ten minutes of joy today was worth more than the ten hours of excruciating frustration, confusion, exhaustion and anxiety. It is what it is.
January 29, 2016
The day started out with a steady rain. We drove off the island for the first time to try and get new keys made for the house. I lost the house key. That went thank god smoothly and then I purchased a new electric pot to boil my water in the morning for coffee while on the road. Good coffee in the morning is one of the few consistencies for my life. The pot I had been using lasted ten years and finally burnt out the other day. There are none on the market like it anymore so I purchased a similar one but its white verses black and comes in two parts. "White and parts" to deal with is not good for travel but the only other alternative was a larger pot with parts. All these little details are important when I must deal with time, space and the need to carry everything in and out of the truck every time I'm in a new place. Then I replaced my windshield wipers. Now for at least a month until they wear in, I won't have static loud rubbing on the window that doesn't really clean the water off as I drive when it is raining hard. Then I went to see if I could get the speaker for the piano fixed. Nope, and the new one's are up to a thousand bucks and made so repair is almost impossible. Getting ready to move on again in the next few days takes me several days of getting the where-with-all to do it. I would like to stay and make Anacortes a home base but that would take all of my resources mentally, physically and spiritually. Another part of me says continue onward and down the west coast.
January 28, 2016
I tossed and turned so much while sleeping that Mo left the room last night. I woke up in the afternoon because I wanted to stay under the comfortable sheets with light outside the sliding glass doors less then four feet away and enjoy, soak in the comfort I have right now as much as possible and also hide from the reality of doing what I need to do to enjoy life, which is to trust. Then I went to my website to find out the GoFundMe Team that handles my fundraising account sent me a $1000 contribution. What a powerful tool of support and encouragement this is for me! Now I want to raise enough money to make sure they get back twice that much from my funding fees! "Congratulations on being selected for GoFundMe Gives Back! My name is Lauren, and I'm a Customer Happiness Agent here at GoFundMe. I came across your's and Mo's campaign on the site and I was really touched by your cause. I nominated you because I think it's amazing that you're helping to spread happiness through the power of song to those who need it most."
Is that wonderful or what? But, I want to say that it is "in the giving" not how much is given. So I appreciate the contribution that came in before the $1000. That was for $10. Then I went out to deal with the lost key, ugh still dealing... also, I wanted to see if the piano speaker is dead ($800) after working on it last night. So I pulled up to a park on the bay. It is broken. The high end is gone. Still, I had to spend time and create music for awhile. I am finding my music less and less melodic and more simple and trance like. People enjoy it just as much maybe even more than in the past. After that I began to have some really fun exchanges with people before it got too cold and dark. The night ended with having pizza with my friends Pat and Mary. Please contribute to help keep the Traveling Piano going. I'm living off that contributions. GoFundMe sent a strong message of worth and I hope you will pick up on that and also help pay forward for yourself some Musical Fun, Friendship and Respect for others. Click on the green link.
January 27, 2016
I took Mo out for a walk and lost the key to where I am staying. I kept checking my pocket every fifteen minutes or so to make sure its still there and it must have slipped out one of the times I was checking for it... onto grass in the dark... somewhere. Fact is I was constantly worried about losing it, thinking about losing it, and look what happened no surprise. No phone, forgot Coralie's last name, no contacts, all proof that I'm supposed to be staying, locked inside the house and I'm locked out for four more days! I called the police and it was going to be a real problem until I realized that Mo and I are in a small town and asked the police officer if they by any chance knew my friend Pat who I stayed with last. Of course they did, he handles the finances for many people in town and then he got a phone call to get the info needed. Then I waited an hour for the police guy who could pick locks (who could not pick the lock) then I waited almost two more hours for a locksmith who got it open in less than 30 seconds with seventy five bucks. Luckily, today was mild in temperature because it could have been a cold, cold wait. In the meantime I sat and clarified for myself a plan of action for what is to come with this journey... which will probably change again tomorrow.
January 26, 2016
It has been cloudy most days but not always raining as people claim it does here at this time of year. I'm feeling emotionally unstable its not like for the first time in my life. I know what to do about it and thank God I can. I took a walk with Mo in the woods and by the water. Afterwards, I binged on cinnamon buns. Also, I keep working. Not with the Traveling Piano because the speaker is busted and I need to get the where-with-all to take it apart and hopefully fix it or find out its dead. This place is so beautiful, I'd really like to stay. If I rented a place the reality would be... I don't know what the friggin' reality would be, thats my challenge these days... be happy and stop trying to create a reality of what will be. I had a talk with God while walking as we have had talks in situations like this before in life. I told him I need help because I can't do this on my own and want some clarity as to what "this" is and I can't feel my way forward without help because I also know that feelings are not always fact for me. I'm really ok in the moment I'm just letting it all out here because it serves no purpose to complain to any friends not that they want to hear it anyway. And the one's that do... they just worry for me and thats not any good either.
January 25, 2016
The challenges I have chosen in life are very big to me but very, very small when I look out of myself towards other people and their challenges. My present challenge should be to stay happy but I've been cluttering up the channel with a lot of self imposed limitations, uncertainty and indecisions. On the whole the fundraising I'm doing is going well considering that less people contribute these days and what my life and mission is about... most people have a difficult time understanding in order to rationalize giving. The way I present myself is from my point of view, lets all experience fun together verses a point of view that is more relatable with the idea of giving support financially, basically out of need. Oh my God I am needy, it feels desperate but that is not the route I want to take when relating to others. Thank God I have Mo for companionship and a place to stay for the week.
January 24, 2016
This place given for me to use where I am staying in for a week... the first night I laid on the floor and cried. It is so perfect. The energy is so clean. I felt total relief. The second day I felt wonderful healing with the privacy. Every day so far I have fallen into a deep trance like sleep for a short while on the floor. You cannot get the feeling of private space from being in a motel room. This place is so perfect in every way. Every item has conscious thought involved with its quality, usefulness and placement. You cannot get the feeling from being in someone's home. Even though this is Coralie's home, everything feels and looks as though it has never been touched by anyone. One of everything for a house, new visually, tactically and with feeling.
It is as though it was all set up and ready for my personal use and I am the first one using it all. The size of the house is very small but it is all I need. The house I had owned before this journey was a four bedroom, two story, full basement, two car garage suburban corner lot property and I could never envision myself living in something small and cramped. Now I see that "small" and "cramped" are very different. Small, high quality and efficient can work perfectly. The place has a fireplace and the lighting can be set in every room to create several different atmospheric feelings. Everything is as progressively organic, environmentally friendly and energy efficient. Last night I slept without ear plugs for the first time in ten years. I felt an impulse to simply stand on the bathroom floor in my bare feet for a few hours today. It is a heated floor!!!
January 23, 2016
I've really enjoyed interacting with people here in Anacortes by sharing the Traveling Piano. It has been very stimulating especially with the awesome scenery but it all must stop at least for a time or so it seems. It feels like I must go back to the life style that I lived ten years ago and was not working for me. That was the "working to pay for the necessities of life" through conventional ways. This present life was facilitated by what I had to fall back on, security blankets... my own finances, home, the support of other people sharing their homes and resources and friends who had told me their home would always be my home and then their life situations changed. Now, there are no security blankets and I am back to "show me the money." I'll be homeless and without money in a couple of months as of today!
There is not enough time to do both, work with the Traveling Piano and work for contribution to create a home base and continue. I will not work for contribution from the Traveling Piano truck as the entire Traveling Piano concept is contrary to that. The Traveling Piano is without commercial agenda as in tips, fees, commercial sponsorship, etc... I did insinuate contribution from the truck continuously for the first three years with signs on the piano and flyers handed out to create incentive. That netted... get ready... zero! I've almost given up but I'm still going for the contribution angle just not while working with the truck. There is not enough time to do both look for contribution and go out to create music and share the Traveling Piano. There is just not enough time in the day for me. Age is a factor. I'll figure this all out one way or another!
January 22, 2016
Friends I met back in the beginning of this journey, Deval Premel and Miten are international musicians with accomplished careers in spiritual music. Deva's voice helped to transform my life during the paradigm shift for me that created this journey. They have contributed not only musically and spiritually but also financially along with their resources. It especially means a lot to me as there have been few musicians who have supported the Traveling Piano journey. It is like five, total? Lol... It has been my experience that musicians stick together when it serves them as it is with all other groups and like minded people no more, no less. As has been said, its not the number of friends you have but the quality of them. Thank God I have some really good friends that also happen to be musicians and who I know are quality people... and "like" minded. Here is the link to their newsletter: Deval Premel and Miten Newsletter
January 21, 2016
I spent the day pondering what to do and where to go as I must leave Anacortes soon and I am living off the funding which will not last long at all. Also, I created a database to keep track of all the contributions and am amazed I remembered how to do as much as I did! I've been out of the money making, tracking game for a long time. I'll be leaving Pat and Mary's place in a few days and have been hanging out at Coralie's place a few miles away. She is a complete stranger we met on the street who gave me the key to her house as she left the country to visit family for a few weeks. She has a small back yard where two deer hang out. It was amazing that they did not run with Mo's excitement. The deer, Mo and I, we all hung out laying around, walking around, eating a little here and there for hours within 20 feet of each other. A door separated us and at one point as the sun set one of the deer came close enough for this picture without a zoom!
January 20, 2016
Mo and I go out to enjoy nature, create music and share the Traveling Piano as much as possible. It is what we do. A home base is really needed to continue. Everything takes longer than it used to. There are a hundred places in the area I would like to visit but the days go buy to quick that we must stay close to where ever we are staying. Thank God the nature everywhere is so stupendous. We drove up to a bluff and played. Less people stopped than did yesterday, they walk by and wave. Its mostly retirees getting their exercise. When it began to get too cold we drove to the bottom at the bay where we were a few days ago. Lots of people joined up with us there. There is time in the day to take out the Traveling Piano and do everything else that goes with it... but not drive an hour each way to different spots and do it. Also, familiarity breeds complacency immediately these days. I find a good spot and want to just keep going back to it instead of stretching my boundaries to explore different areas. Someone online who has followed me for years asked if I was looking for contribution to continue my holiday. A ten year holiday ok, yes please... help me keep that going!
January 19, 2016
I've spent several hours of the day zoned out doing nothing the last few days. It is a relief to do that. 98% of my time is spent in the journey whether it be working on the blog with pictures, writing or music, online fundraising, out being with people and the truck or working to be organized and figure out what I want to do next with my life. Thank god for friends who are giving me space to do that physically, financially and emotionally. Mo and I spent some time in the woods on the edge of the island and I thought practically no one would be around. As it turned out there are people who walk in the area everyday and of course everyone was interested. Several were going through difficult life transitions and we talked. I was appreciative of their trust and friendship especially as strangers in sharing their lives with me. Music and the Traveling Piano was the catalyst. Several times it was mentioned how surreal and perfect and part of the whole the music was as they listened to nature on the beach with my music as part of the experience.
January 18, 2016
The fun in my present fundraising is in connecting with people. There have been a few not fun experiences along with all the non-responsive... but the "gems" the doers' are just so amazing and fill me with love and joy. People who share their love and joy with me through financial contribution at this point wether it be $3, $300 or $3000 keep me going. I am aware that acknowledgement and validation is a huge part of my needs psychologically. As a result of not having a very responsive family in a traditional sense to fulfill my needs, I get my needs fullfilled from helping people in different ways. Strangers and friends are my family. The sharing of my experience, strength and hope both the good and bad and the example of my actions and behavior in life towards my "world" family happens through my mental, physical and spiritual upkeep, through music and sharing that with as many people as possible all one-on-one and also through online sharing with my writing, pictures and music. Any resulting acknowledgement and validation well, the financial contributions sure do help most right now in a practical sense.
January 17, 2016
This morning I woke up with my Fun, Friendship and Respect mantra and thought, I don't want it for the first time... maybe because no contributions have come in lately and I've been sending out quite a few requests. It is important to keep everything light, remember that I am sort of fishing. I want to keep negative emotion out. Put out the requests and don't focus on where the replies will come from just focus on why I am doing it and the end result. A commitment has been made to take this route so I must honor it and follow through to completion. My mind spun around for a long time with what I want to do at this stage of the game and this is a stepping stone into the next stage of whatever. My mind wants to go into rationalizations that it is a waste of time, will take too long, not serve any purpose, I will quit before its done and punish myself as a result, etc... but the reality is I know I can accomplish this goal, it may or may not take a long time and other things may come into the path to deal with along the way. My sense of tenacity will win in the end and I enjoy drawing people into my life that are givers more than the money in of itself. That is the main motivation and intent of finding financial support in this way although... if it all came from one person it would make my life a lot easier and I could move onto another type of "working" this musical journey.
January 16, 2016
I've been needing a fresh smoked salmon fix big time and got it today at a very popular fish packing outlet. When we were in this area back in 2010 in Seattle the fish was so good that it has been on my mind ever since. This is the place for fresh fish for sure! I had an interesting conversation with a woman who works at the store and as we were talking she mentioned how she belongs to a group of woman that knits sanitary pads for woman in developing countries. They deliver them by word of mouth via people who travel to where the necessities are given directly to the communities that can use them. I thought, "what if everyone did something uniquely small like this, a gesture that would be helpful to others everywhere, especially in their own communities. It reminded me of a guy who takes a sewing machine to the streets to mend peoples clothes as as a way to connect, be helpful and hang out with those looking for friendship or just need someone to talk with for awhile. Find what interests you that others can use, create it... and then deliver it personally instead of using an organizational middle man. How great is that? So, after I purchased my fish I headed up Mt Erie park in the middle of Anacortes to the lookout. It was way, way up and Mo and I had a moment with music, a local guy and his mom who were on a hike together.
January 15, 2016
Washington Park, Washington
Today I found a perfect park! No fees, no attitude from park rangers and amazing scenery. It was dark, cold and gloomy and that made it even better for some reason. I parked on the water and there was a constant flow of small fishing boats docking and undocking. The place has everything. Forrest, rocks and coves, meadow areas of grass falling over cliffs... there were pullout areas for just one vehicle at a time which is perfect for the Traveling Piano. If I return then people can find us one by one as they are walking through nature. At first there was no chance I was going to create music it was too cold. Then I walked by two women who were burning papers and stuff and I jokingly asked if they were burning all the "evidence." They said it was bittersweet and I asked if in a loving or angry way. They said loving and so I said I'd like to add some music to that love. Mo and I returned to the truck and so it began. This park is a Traveling Piano gold mine. Local people hanging out, diverse natural environments, not crowded, plenty of places to play without being intrusive not that anyone would mind as everyone was very pleased we were there. As I took a walk with Mo I felt high with the natural and surreal feeling of what I was experiencing.
January 14, 2016
Bowman Bay, Washington
The day was perfect until a park ranger came into the picture. There is nothing new about park rangers when it comes to bad attitude. They can be really good at creating it. America, land of the free what a joke. I happened into "park industry" land today open to the public at a price. Believe me after ten years, I know "all" of the rationalizations for charging money to enjoy nature. None of the rationalizations work for me. The bottom line is all about revenue income. Don't call it stewardship when charging fees and paying salaries. If I am going to be forced to pay $10 to see a sunset on state park land, rangers must respect a "before, during, and after" sunset period. Everyone should not be rushed out of the park as soon as the sun disappears from the horizon because a ranger wants to close up shop! The regulating of and paying a price for the policing of this country on every level is making me more and more paranoid as the journey moves forward. Our freedom to self regulate our own movements and actions are disappearing. The over reach of authority figures and influence by a few is very disconcerting and creates fear for people in general. The "if you don't do anything wrong you have nothing to fear" idea is now ridiculous because if the police want to cause trouble for you, they now have so many laws on the books they can find a way.
Earlier in the day I did some email work, researched work for the future (possible sponsorship to get the Traveling Piano to China) and then I took to the road for some Traveling Piano fun. We found a perfect spot on the water. I created some needed music for myself and shared the piano with people. Mo and I met a guy named Nick with his dog and we all took a walk. There was a beautiful path onto a high cliff peninsula. It was one of my favorite nature scenarios. At sunset Nick set off some sky lanterns that were awesome. They were about three to four feet in length made of biodegradable materials, a paper hot air balloon with a small opening at the bottom where a small fire is suspended to get it moving into the air. There were little kids around who were about to get onto the piano and create music while the lanterns floated into the sunset but the bad man (ranger) came and scared them and their mom away. It was really funny because the last lantern got caught in a tree just as the ranger came and as he asked who set it off. Everyone around just shrugged their shoulders. I said, "I don't know anything" and then everyone else repeated the same words one by one. As I process the pictures of it all, the negative distraction fades and the joy of the day wins out.
January 13, 2016
It has really been wonderful meeting my friend Pat and Mary's family and being witness to routine and habits. It is helping me because I want some more structure in my life. I need it in order to survive... I think? I've been sending out emails to everyone I know with no holds barred because I now know that people attitudes about money, sharing, the Traveling Piano and me personally change and are different according to circumstances, times periods in life, reasons none of which I can guess about or be sure of, and in all cases... are none of my business. So I just do the footwork that is necessary and ask. How they respond... the same applies to what I just wrote concerning the asking. I'm staying very conscious to keep emotional thoughts and feelings out of the fundraising. Gratitude... everything about that stays in.
January 12, 2016
Even with the clouds, cold temperature and sprinkles of rain I still had some synchronistic and spontaneous Traveling Piano fun with people today. I ask myself how did that happen? It is fairly certain it happened from how clear my intent was in waking up with the feeling of desire for fun, friendship and respect. It was a decision made first thing in the morning. Do you know that people exist who will freely offer their home to a stranger for use without question, apprehension or fear? It happened for Mo and I again today... a really, really nice place. We met this woman with the Traveling Piano and she said if I ever need a place to stay I can use her house. She is going away for a visit out of the country for a few weeks. She did not offer it to us for house sitting... she just shares what she has with others. She told us other people may come over to use it while I am there. Her home is an oasis for everyone. Life is so much better with strangers becoming less afraid of each other! Two beautiful houses to use. Now to create some permanency concerning that. I wonder if I can create it for my life as I once did. Of course... but I need more clarity as to whether I really want, deserve and am willing to accept the responsibility of what settling down entails.
January 11, 2016
The view outside of where we are staying is very special. It is all windows on three sides with views of the bay and mountains through evergreen trees. I try not to wonder how long staying here will last and even more importantly if I want to create a home base in this area. I'm feeling my way through everyday and stay conscious of the present moment. When people share what they have with me I think, "how can I repay them" as I feel so much gratitude. The only way is to continue being who I am and sharing that with the world. It feels like I've never been in a place like Anacortes before. Life is slower as it is on an island but not too slow. The people I've met are simple in a smart way. It is always wet but there has been a lot of sun. I really like marine type people, there is an evenness about them. So far, people I've met don't have a guard up. I think that comes with the territory. There is little diversity concerning ethnicity not that anyone would mind that... ha, probably until it happens. The people I stay with (how welcomed I feel), the comfortability of environment as well as access to other people and resources are very powerful influences as to where I want to live if I settle down but there is almost a guarantee that my present experiences will always change which makes knowing where I would like to live very difficult to decide.
January 10, 2016
We had fun today with the Traveling Piano and music. It was pure joy with kids and dogs but the parents asked me to not share the picture. I think this is only the second time in ten years with thousands of interactions with children that an objection was made. I don't like mistrust and fear associated in anyway with what the Traveling Piano shares with the world. Whatever... After two days of sun and today with partial sun I figured to get out with some music if only for a short time. Afterwards, I got really tired and I mean really tired! Still I was able to process about a hundred and fifty pictures from 2015. Check them out in the top picture gallery. There are still more but right now you can pull up some beautiful nature pictures from Montana in the snow.
January 09, 2016
It was very difficult to get going today. I woke up from dreaming in fear. You would not believe how afraid I am of people who don't treat me exactly how I feel I should be treated. They ruminate from the past, present and future in my head if I allow myself to go up into my head with negativity when thinking about me, me, me. There are a lot of broken toys in my head. Why do I go up there sometimes to break them even more, lol! So... I stay out of my head when possible and in the present moment. I do that with gratitude. Then I try my best to hang around with "like" people that I can feel safe with. Those... I must look for constantly, especially since I am on the road all the time. I'm out constantly seeking "like" spirit for validation and reassurance for myself and to share my life with. That is the main reason for the fundraising right now. To connect with people like myself who enjoy paying forward the love of life. After getting my act together to rightly relate with the world and with the sun out... Mo and I began to drive around and found a dog park. We ended up staying there until after dark walking around and playing with other people and dogs and music. It was all fun!
January 08, 2016
I woke up and the sun was out. As I began sending emails for fundraising, my mind wondered into the sun and I begn to hear myself repeating over and over to out go do what I do and forget the cold the sun is out! It didn't take long and I was on the road meandering to wherever. I was wondering if the piano was going to work. Its been sitting in zero degree temperatures and snow for several months, the longest time ever. I found a lookout spot high up above the city on a big rock. The piano worked! Immediately we started to interact with people. Mo was so happy he licked me from on top of the piano. We were doing what we do best, what we enjoy doing, what we are supposed to be doing at least for today in life. After a while we took a break and went exploring around on moss covered boulders and trees on the island. On arriving back at the truck no one was around so I began to create music for the sunset just me and Mo.
I told myself it was for the glory of god, the universe which was pretty strange because I don't usually think that way. The thoughts came from a place of gratitude. Then people began to arrive and I did not want to get distracted by interacting with them and miss the sunset with my music. It was not easy because I knew everyone was curious and loving their synchronistic and spontaneous find. (The Traveling Piano) I just focused on giving the entire experience to God and knew everyone would enjoy it through the nature of being alive in the moment, together. It was just so amazing to think I was playing for the sunset at Coronado beach in Southern California almost a year ago, traveled back east and now I am back on the northern pacific west coast playing for the sunset in Washington State. A guy with his daughter insisted I take a gift from them. It was a hundred bucks. He said what I am doing is very special and his contribution gave me a very validating feel for today along with the ability to just do it all as in live.
January 07, 2016
It felt really good to get the website set up for 2016 today. I remember ten years ago it would take a full day to do it and I was so proud of myself. Today it took only a few hours and was reminded how if I just keep at something I am able to do it faster and faster through time through understanding, although slower in time through age. I was talking with my friend Pat about fundraising, my past and how disappointed I was in this and that, about the lack of support and he cut me off abruptly saying, "I don't want to hear your negative shit." Wow, that really stung and of course I'm feeling vulnerable because he's letting me stay with him and we don't know each other all that well yet. Fact is he hit me squarely between the eyeballs and I am glad he did. I impulsively told him it was all coming from a place of fear and then wondered if I was just trying to work him with my insecurity. As I thought about it what I said was true. I'm afraid that I won't be taken care of and was trying to validate the fear with proof from the past. Fact is, I've been taken care of my whole life not just the last ten years from a power greater than myself that's for sure! So I need to just put one foot in front of the other and keep going to be taken care of. Sounds crazy, I know. The main solution for the fear is to get real with gratitude. I must live gratitude. So here is one example... I've been using the word "work" with what I do in life to placate and satisfy those who cannot seem to understand my life and contribution to the world. There are people who do not want to believe in life as a playful situation. I use the word "work" to validate the serious nature and importance for what I have to offer for people. Fuck that. I'm out playing with life and having fun with what I do and thats the true fact. I have not been working, I've been playing and I only want to be around people who want to see me playing especially with others. Yea... I'm asking for people to send me money so I can play with life. Anyone who does not want to support that for whatever reason... those are people who would not support me for any reason anyway! Lol...
January 06, 2016
More people than anywhere else I have visited, specifically in the Pacific Northwest they have made an effort to stay in touch with me. Mo and I were in the area back in 2011. The friendships have very much been appreciated. One couple, Pat and Mary have said to me twice... "how can I help you." It has felt like such a loaded question I've never been able to be clear and sure about how to answer. Well, I need a place to stay and here we are. For how long I have no idea. We started out from Spokane today and I was very anxious about getting through Snoqualmie Pass on interstate 90 which has been closing down every few days because of snow and ice. Last week four feet of snow fell in two hours. It was a breeze to get through. There was snow and rain along the way but the road never really iced up. At the top of the pass the sun actually broke through the clouds. Snow was pilled on the sides of the road higher than the tractor trailers that were passing. Of course the nature was awesome. Dark blue grey clouds against ten story high evergreen trees of vivid green (they are greener here than anywhere else I've seen in the world) and every dropping tree limb held two feet of snow on it from the tops of the trees to the bottom. Some of the sides of the road were covered with thick cascading blue ice against dark smooth mountain rock. It was just amazing. Then in almost a blink of an eye on the other side of the pass all snow disappeared completely. Ha, I have been in all snow for months and then... once in Seattle their was even green grass! Once it got dark I could barley see the road; my night blindness was so bad. I'm feeling almost totally disoriented with what is going on in my life, where I am, the change of environment, not being so sure of myself, blah, blah, blah. I do know that Mo and I are with good people and they have a new dog named Charlie who knows how to play with Mo and thats great! I've been writing the blog everyday since the New Year but I have not created the pages for it yet. Everything takes more time anymore. I'm going to try to get this up tomorrow. No pictures from all the nature I saw today, I was to focused on keeping the truck on the road and getting from point A to point B.
January 05, 2016
I've been trying to take it easy while not freaking out that I must drive out tomorrow and onto ice and snow across very treacherous mountain passes that are so difficult to traverse that they may not even be open to traffic because of the weather conditions. God forbid it takes too long and it becomes necessary to drive in the dark. My night blindness is getting worse... faster. And then there's the idea of just moving forward once again. Its all about fun, eh? I can do it!
January 04, 2016
I've been visiting some vintage Traveling Piano moments from 2007 while chilling out in a hotel room. I cannot rush leaving here and my natural life cycle of sleep which is 3am to 11am... what am I going to do about that? I've talked about it often. I don't know whether I can ever change that or will want to. Taking life as it comes is a challenge. Facebook has begun to give me trouble in posting the fundraising link to friends pages. Most people simply tag and I have been reaching out individually to people. Either way its like the rest of life. A thousand people can like it, three complain and fear related to compliants wins out whether in the majority interest or not.
January 03, 2016
Outside, it is very white with a white mist. There are many deciduous trees verses all evergreen trees where I was staying before. Every limb and twig on every tree has at least three to four inches of snow covering them. That along with the evergreens covered in snow, everything is just really "white." We are in a motel with a neighborhood of small quaint houses and I'm enjoying all the snow but getting a snow phobia concerning the Traveling Piano truck being able to start in almost zero degree weather. The piano and equipment out in the elements for so long and being able to drive with absolutely no tire traction is unnerving. We are heading west but not today. I'm working with online funding while looking at white outside (its so white, lol) and watching movies on my motel room tv screen. For months I've been using earplugs and my small computer screen to watch movies. There is a big difference. A care center is on the other side of the motel fence where we are so I stopped over there to hang out for a short while with some of the residents and create music on a piano there. I thought about how some people in life call me an opportunist and they do not mean it in a good way. I am so thankful to be an opportunist. I have worked on allowing myself to jump onto and into opportunity for my entire lifetime and not until this journey was I able to totally embrace the true intent of that... to take advantage of 100% pure opportunity in order to enjoy life for myself and others. I realized today that this is my first time visiting Spokane, Washington. More and more conservatism, religious pro-gun mentality (do not understand how the two can go together) and how homeless people do not deserve help comes into conversations with random people and without instigation. When I talk about strangers becoming less afraid of each other... people are now more vocal with their opinions as to how fear is warranted and necessary along with gun ownership. My staying focused on the journey's Fun, Friendship and Respect by keeping my mouth shut with ten years of hands on experience throughout the country with all the issues... that is becoming a huge challenge. Whereas people in conservative areas used to bond simply over Jesus in conversation, they now also include gun ownership and the need to be wary of anyone who might be different.
January 02, 2016
Pan Handle of Idaho
Driving across Montana, Idaho and into Washington State today with the Traveling Piano was spectacular. A couple months ago I was thinking how I've seen the best of nature and there really isn't more to see but today I was reminded how I can see the same scenery everyday and it can look different depending on the weather. Up, down, in and around fantastic mountains... this time for the first time they were covered with a deep fluff of snow. Wow, it was joyous to say the least. I thought how it would all look totally different again if I was seeing it in the early morning. Ha, to be up and driving around at sunrise? I don't think so but never say never, correct? My friend Pat told me to take a short side route west on route 12 to save time. I stopped to get gas and realized I had been in the very spot somewhere around six years ago. I remember I was on a ride to get lost and had a magical time in mountains along a creek with trains passing everywhere right in the area where I was. So, I was having a great time until it began to get dark. The roads became wet and then froze right at lookout pass on route 90 in Idaho. I drove as slow as the slowest truck could drive. All the fun disappeared and fear took over. Then I entered from rural to urban, suburban sprawl. While I was driving I thought how I spent the first ten years of my life being babied, the second ten years trying to figure out what was wrong with that and the next ten years exploring new ways. In my forties I practicing the best of new ways and then my last ten years, I have lived life as my own person, the way I have wanted the way I've always known my life should be lived even before I was born. Now what?
January 01, 2016
Great Falls, Montana
Really... It is 2016? I woke up and felt my aloneness for the first time in a long time and missing the knowing that my friend Becky is near. Also, there was daylight. The bedroom I had been using in rural Montana had no windows and was down a back hall on the lower level of a house. Re-adjustment... I don't know what to think right now. An enormous amount of work and effort and also what funds I have left went into trying to make my friend Becky's place a home-base. We both worked for that. I'm relieved to have left, sad, disappointed that it not work out. It was my choosing to leave. It was necessary for many reasons. Mo and I are now heading to see a friend we stayed with back about five years ago but I must have a few days alone to get a grip. Thank God for the people who have made contributions so I can do a motel room and found a good deal, a dog friendly place. Mo is the biggest issue with staying in motels and concerning costs. I've used dog friendly Motel 6 for many years but after my last incident with them a few months ago... I cannot give them my business ever again. No more bedbug level motel stays for this journey for as long as it lasts and I have a problem paying for Mo to stay at a motel.
He's not a person. I'd rather sleep on the street at this point. While talking with a stranger in the motel lobby the subject of homeless people came up. I really understand the individual plights of homeless people... the choices they make and also how confusing life can be for many people without a home. You would not believe how difficult it is for me to keep everything I travel with assessable when everything is always packed. I spend a lot of time trying to stay organized and clutter free because it helps me mentally with my head. Same with homeless people. Have you ever seen a homeless person on a street with a shopping cart rummaging through things and it looks like they are mindless and lost? Maybe like me, they are simply trying to create some organization in an environment that does not lend itself to staying organized. With Mo's stuff, my computer, hard drives, wires, camera stuff, etc... clothes, toiletries, coffee, little things like a small humidifier, fan, heater, ionizer for motel rooms... I do not travel light. I travel with a million small items that are all necessary to stay connected with the world, the journey and my life.