HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010
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June 30, 2015
Holmes Circle Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
It rained today, I think. This blog is being written a few days after and have no new pictures for today so I assume thats what happened. My commitment to this blog is slipping a bit. It feels like that because I've been letting days go by between updates. That usually means I have nothing exciting to share for myself. I have an always want... more, more, more button that can get out of control... why not? That way of being has moved me into the tenth year of this journey. The question now is, how do I stay interested now. It has been a long time. Do I want more or is it time to switch into a different way of living life again. I took the truck to another repair guy, need to drop it off at the end of the week. While there, people were coming to pick up their cars at the end of the day. One guy recognized me, "hey I was on your truck two years ago with my granddaughter," Another guy, "hey, I interviewed you for my radio station in Hatboro (an hour away) about twenty years ago." These encounters still amaze me. Have I really had interactions with so many people through the years that this should be the norm? The timing of them, the randomness of where and when. Being back in the area I was born and with a lot of not good emotional baggage, I want to keep in mind the enormous success that comes with the idea of forgiveness as in "for-give"... to "give-for" and I am thinking it may be the purpose of life.
June 29, 2015
I get out usually as it is getting dark now-a-days, the sun and heat is too much to deal with. Also, I've been getting up around noon because I can't get to bed before four or five in the morning. That has become an issues in the last five years or so. There is a perfect spot to practice which I've been doing on and off again. It is in a parking lot behind a local school. There is no way I can practice where people frequent. They all want to interact, of course. My time now cannot be totally devoted to simply sharing the Traveling Piano. There are other needs. When I got to my spot tonight there was a young kid detailing his BMW with a friend. He said he remembered us from a few weeks ago when he was hanging out with other friends and he got onto the piano for a short spell of music. His friend jumped into the vehicle to wait. I appreciated his trusting me and willingness to have a musical experience especially being from Pakistan and young... those guys tend to keep to themselves.
June 28, 2015
Core Creek Park, Pennsylvania
I went to visit and have dinner with my friends Pat and Lance today. We've been friends since high school and Patty gave me the original idea to do the Traveling Piano way back when. Afterwards, it was still light out so I stopped at the park across the street from them. I really don't want to be back in this area to revisit the past but I'm here and it is what it is. I really enjoyed being with my friends. It is very rare for me to read a past blog entry on this website because I have no reason or time really to revisit the past. It is done, it is gone. Although, sometimes it can be fun and a joy to connect personally with people that I've had good experiences with. In the park today someone came up to me asking if I was the guy... I jumped in with "yes". I know they have seen me somewhere in the past and with this woman, I had created music in her community of Langhorne, PA on halloween many years back. Then, a woman and husband who had an interaction with us in 2007 about an hour away at another park found us. They now have four kids. I love interactions like those.
Mo waited for me in the cab last night while I went to the movies in the old neighborhood where I owned a house many years ago... I found a message on my answering today from the police about that. It was raining and about 68 degrees, with the back window open for air, the cab is a den for Mo and he was fine. A random dog fanatic called the police to complain. The police called me on my answering machine to say I'm not allowed to leave my dog in the cab. Stuff like that, one idiot can so easily create trouble. I would like to create a law requiring muzzles for over the top dog fanatics always looking for trouble. They have no clue of their self-centered concerns. And the police... I am so glad I did not answer the phone or have contact with them. Why are they required to pass on the ridiculous complaints of others. I would have told them that I can in fact leave my dog in my truck! People can be so out of control with authority, fearful assumptions and sticking their faces into situations they know absolutely nothing about! They cause problems where none exist. Truth be told, I was raised with super fear of authority figures so that cell message really affected me in a negative way. Especially now at this point in my life. It seems I am losing my patience with injustice and stupid people. Fear underlies a lot of anger! Thank god I have a way to express my emotions... fears and joy etc... I do it through writing, pictures and music and all negativity gets healed through the people I meet with the Traveling Piano.
June 27, 2015
It rained all day and made for a good excuse to do nothing. The Traveling Piano has been sitting out in the rain with a cover. Everything is so old now, even the piano wood is falling apart. I got the blog up to date today and have been eating a lot of toasted bagels smothered in melted butter (see yesterdays blog) and have been enjoying them no matter how bad they are for me in excess. Cream cheese was switched for the butter at the end of tonight. Lol, after giving a ride home to my friend Pat's health aid I went to see the movie Me and Earl and the Dying Girl and left feeling thankful people still make good movies. Last week I saw Jurassic World for twice the price and it was a waste. Brian Eno's soundtrack for tonights movie was worth sitting for until the very end of the credits. I feel good about being able to give that to myself, to see two movies, do something other than the Traveling Piano, allow myself to be separated from Mo if even for a short while. He waited for me in the truck cab which is like a den for him. On the way home the truck's engine began to whirl constantly up and down. It will need to get tended to immediately because it will soon go up and down and then to an unknown place... very soon. This after just having $1000 worth of work put into it.
June 26, 2015
Northeast Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
I got some journey going today and that felt good. It took effort to give into it but it always takes effort. Once I get going it gets easier and better, easier and more fun. Mo and I first went to the park and met new people as well as people we have hung around with on several occasions now. One of the guys is a retired caterer so I asked him where I might find a good bagel in the area. I've been craving an east coast bagel for a year! Ha, he told me of a small hole in the wall on the the way back to where we are staying that is open twenty four hours the guy there must sleep on the floor, he makes and sells bagels wholesale so there I went. Next door was a restaurant that advertised live entertainment so out of curiosity I went in to see if they had a piano. They did, so I hope to go back when there are no customers and play a little on it.
My music is definitely not for restaurant entertainment. On the way in a group of people sitting outside engaged me in conversation about the Traveling Piano so you know what happened then. A graduation party was going on inside the restaurant and some of those guests came out and found us. I worked hard to keep a sense of control with the energy, it was a lot. I gave away about twelve posters today and want to be conscious of not just dumping them. I want for people to appreciate and take care of them, not go home and throw them away or bend them up! Its supposed to rain tomorrow so before calling it a night I stopped in my hideaway spot near where I am staying in a school parking lot to practice some for the Fourth of July even though it was almost midnight. I wish I was not so conscientious about commitments because they take so much focus and attention in my brain. Fact is I'm living in the future too much these days.
June 25, 2015
We got out and drove to a park near the Delaware river and spent some time before it rained. Almost immediately two guys came over from a distance to check out the Traveling Piano and then I drove the truck over to where his friends were because they really wanted for me to do that and one of the friends could not walk very well. They were celebrating a birthday, life long friends forever from the lower Kensington area of Philadelphia and they were the real thing! We had fun and today I began giving away Raggin' Piano Boogie posters I found in my archives from my past career. Two hundred and fifty left, I was saving them for maybe a future fundraiser or for when I become famous but really, I've done enough fundraising and wanting in my life. I would pass it all on to someone who might want any of it, but there is no one so... if it is meant to be the world can archive my life at some point. For now its all going to leave my hands. The last of my cd's and cassettes will be next.
June 24, 2015
Staying in the present moment while preparing for the future... the balance of reality with spirituality that is what I must deal with in order to live. I haven't really felt like playing music anywhere in public here or sharing the Traveling Piano because I've already been everywhere in and around Philadelphia through the years. Part of my fun comes from new environments and many past environments in this home town of mine now do not bring back fond memories. Plus the energy of it all, it feels like too much for me. If I was able (wow, is this an old worn out thing to say) to get to bed earlier and up earlier I would accomplish a lot more. It is what it is. When I've always seen pictures of landscapes I've been in over the last few months, I've never thought of them in reality and then to see it all for real... wow! This was from Utah in April with the Traveling Piano. Mo and I would randomly stop in places like this and I would create music! The mountain is massive in size. You really can't see that from the picture.
June 23, 2015
If the sun and heat on the Fourth of July is like it is today, I will not be able to do the parade I have been planning to do for a friend. The house air conditioner broke where I am. In the attic where I stay, I purchased a small window air conditioner for it. Forfeited... for the folks downstairs so I tried to sleep in a hundred twenty degree humidity last night. You probably can figure out how that went. As my friends are allowing me to stay here and eat their food unconditionally, I want to give them as much of myself as possible. In the attic I have been spreading out and must keep that in check. It is important to stay somewhat packed to get back on the road, cannot get too comfortable and let me tell you... it is not easy! The more I spread out and settle in the more I lose the journey happening in my head. I've been spending time washing and folding clothes, cleaning my space, dusting and vacuuming, cooking, doing store errands, preparing food for myself and my friends. There is not enough time or I am just too slow to be able to focus on work and a domesticated life at the same time. How did I do it all in the beginning of this journey?
June 22, 2015
The heat and humidity well, there was a time I could handle it better. There is no way I can work with the Traveling Piano with this weather. I spent the day working around the house where I am staying. It takes one hundred percent of my time mentally, phisically and spiritually to work. My time not outside is usually spent inside processing pictures. I'm now getting April's pictures from Utah together. Days would be better if I could split up my time with different tasks. It seems that I can do only one thing at a time these days and that one thing takes all day. So even with this blog, it is being written two days later because my mindset was so other than the music and people and blog. I need to keep the reality that I cannot stay where I am right now in Philadelhpia and where... am I going to go? I'm living with nothing to fall back on, I'm sort of lost. There is one friend who ... but even that does not feel secure... the truck does not feel secure, blah, blah, blah nothing new.
June 21, 2015
It feels very strange to have not gone out onto the city streets of Philadelphia since I arrived with the Traveling Piano. There have been too many other priorities like... being careful to not go crazy in my head. There is very little room in the back of the Traveling Piano to transport anything so moving the last of my archives and personal belongs up from South Philly to Northeast Philly from my friend Stephen's house has taken many trips back and forth. I finished the task tonight. Now, I must reorganize it all and deal with what is left one last time after like twelve times over the years of letting go. I've been practicing the piano in the driveway where I am staying when possible while using headphones with the piano in the truck. The heat and humidity has really made it difficult to do much playing anywhere. I've been heading out after dark. For anyone reading this who is in denial about climate change... get your head out of your butt. Lol, maybe don't do that. It might open up the possibility for a lot more gas to escape into the atmosphere and the earth doesn't need any more of that. Anger has been in my repertoire these days. Can you tell?
June 20, 2015
What has happened in Charleston, South Carolina hits me to the core, the mass murder (with a gun of course) of nine people over pure racial hate. I've been intimately involved with two mass shootings and two unjustified high profile racial murders through the Traveling Piano's journey. Part of me wants to take the Traveling Piano to Charleston as I have done with other tragedies to show appreciation for the forgiveness family members and community have been putting out to the media and also to show support for love over hate but, I'm not going to do it as there is too much anger in my heart and it would interfere with empathy and compassion, my love. I do not want for my Fun, Friendship and Respect to be motivated by anger. There are also other reasons. I am still dealing with "stuff" here in Philadelphia. Karen, one of the health aids for Pat and Marie, two of the ladies we are staying with... she jumped onto the Traveling Piano seat in the driveway for a few moments.
June 19, 2015
I scope out spots to hide in and create music all the time and then try them out once it starts to get dark. I need to actually practice to get my hand muscles in shape to do a Fourth of July parade and along with remembering old repertoire... getting my level of performance energy up and going and then to keep it going... wow, not easy any more! A few days ago I drove to a perfect spot in an empty school lot and found a group of Indian kids already there hanging out, getting high, etc... They didn't mind us being with them. Tonight the same thing happened but with another gang of young kids. One was interested and got onto the piano to play but did not want his picture taken. After they left another group came up and one of them was a kid I met three weeks ago in another Philadelphia empty school lot. As he said, "its Traveling Piano take two." We had fun, they took an Instagram for me and put in the comment, "ya Boys takin the shit over feel me follow us." Lol, earlier Mo and I were walking in a park. I missed out on a really hot threesome... its been so long since anything, my mindset was trying not to be disgusted as I walked by while being invited in... once I had passed and it was too late I thought, damm you idiot! Lol, I'm getting old.
June 18, 2015
I'm feeling out of sorts... it rains for a short while almost everyday. Its hot and muggy. I've been traveling back and forth from northeast Philly to South Philly almost everyday giving old belongings away and moving career archives into my friend Cindy's garage. Mo and I spent some time with Tina, Cindy's housemate and her family. Lots of dogs and people... Mo was loving it all.
June 17, 2015
Pennypack Park, Pennsylvania
We found a new place hidden away to hang out today. There is a lot of park to explore in this area. Developers have been chomping at the bits to destroy it but people have been holding tight. Unfortunately, everyone is getting old and no one is stepping up to the plate to take their places. One guy found us and without a thought came over to drop a buck into Mo's water dish thinking it was a tip jar. Lol, I told him to stop that and to get onto the piano to try some music. I met another woman while walking but she was to shy too get onto the truck and I think got spooked when I mentioned the word picture. So be it.
June 16, 2015
Today was spent doing everything I've been doing over the last month, blah, blah, blah, nothing new... practiced some music, created some music, shared the piano, moved stuff, gave stuff away, did online work, data backup, processed pictures, constant priority foucusing, letting go of fear, assumptions, presumptions. etc..
June 15, 2015
It been raining on and off. Yesterday was spent giving away more of the very end of my personal belongings to Stephen, his friend Cory, Cindy and Tina here where I am staying... its been pretty easy going, especially when they want what I have to give. I had kept enough to furnish and have a small place of my own again if ever that would happen but it doesn't look like thats going to happen anytime soon. I can't keep moving it all around from place to place anymore. The recliner I've used with Mo since he was a pup, I gave it to Stephen's friend Cory for his house and I got to sit in it. Mo jumped in with me and you could just tell how much he appreciates that "knowing" feeling of being in our "element." Afterwards, I purchased a special pie at a local diner for Cindy and the rest of the clan living where I am staying. We are staying in the area of Philadelphia where I was born. That seems crazy! I was born at the hospital five minutes away and the diner where I got the pie... it is across the street from where both my parents are buried, I have a spot in there for myself in the same grave plot.... the house I was raised in is one block away from the diner. It's crazy my friend Cindy ended up buying a house in this area and it is where I was born and here I am staying (for a short while) sixty years later I'm back here! It is what it is.
June 14, 2015
June 13, 2015
Pennypack Park, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
The truck still needs to be dealt with, I don't know how to get it repaired. Really, its fear about trusting people's abilities. My thoughts about moving forward, very conflicting. Also about where to go, where I can stay and what to do when there is absolutely no money left. I'm at the point I've always talked about where I would just spend that last of whatever money I have on a hoorah for myself and then disappear if no one steps up to the plate. The end would have already happened if not for a friend. It feels like that "well" might run dry. Mo and I took a walk far enough into the park where no traffic sounds could be heard. I practiced a little of my old repertoire by simply not looking at people while wondering why I did not go to the other end of the parking lot where I surely would be left alone. Next time I'll do that. The people we met, I appreciated our interaction and I created music into the dark with them. At the end I actually went into some performance pieces and was relieved that I can still do it. (have not done that in a year) Frazzled, physically and mentally was what came to mind afterwards. I'm used to an easy, slow none manic energy now and the old Boogie Woogie, Ragtime pieces are the opposite of that. This park is an easy place to meet people for neighborly friendship.
June 12, 2015
Pennypack Park, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
It was in the nineties today so I wasn't going anywhere but then I did. After the sun set we headed back to the nearby park, a new spot that I am being drawn to. There will not be any privacy here because it is a smaller area and people congregate but we can walk, be with other dogs, in water, in a large field... it is very beautiful. The people are kind, neighborly, friendly, diverse and inclusive all of which I do not find very often along with such beauty of nature. Everyone hung out with us and that felt very good. I need to become conscious of holding the camera more steady when its getting dark. I've been shaking more and the pictures come out blurry. It is very warm and everything feels like childhood in my old home turf, in the summer. That is not good or bad, its interesting and nice.
June 11, 2015
Pennypack Park, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
It was too hot to do anything. Mo and I went to a park and enjoyed some nature, thats about it. I'm trying to strike a balance with relaxing while moving forward while taking care of day to day tasks.
June 10, 2015
Pennypack Park, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
I must like to torture myself. As I was waking and saying my usual first thoughts of fun, friendship and respect I consciously said "don't say that... you know the music will happen whether you want it to or not if you say it" and it did for a short while at a place where people let their dogs run about fifteen minutes from where we are staying and it is a beautiful spot that I've been to before but never with Mo. It was al most dark, there was only one other dog there. Mo is losing interest in playing with other dogs, its sad to see but it is what it is. We had a couple interactions with people there. One guy had seen me perform a few times twenty five years ago and remembered when and where!!! Lol. I have to keep saying it until I get it out of my system, it feels crazy being here again in Philadelphia especially with my past history. Its difficult to get a grasp on the fact that I stopped performing almost ten years ago, did it full time from the truck for twenty years before that and worked full time as a musician and teacher all throughout the area we were in today since age fifteen. That guy who knew me starting having an intimate conversation about what was going on in his life, it felt like he was sharing confidence with me because he knew me.
In objectivity observing people around with the Traveling Piano lately, it is becoming totally clear that people need to see other people show kindness to each other in real time and without ego or agenda. This is very much needed everywhere and for all human beings... to witness acts of kindness with each other... not hear about, not read about but to witness kindness in person. Earlier in the day I went to meet with Stephen and his friend Cory to deal with some of my old belongings, like from when I was born. Cory in just being a good friend for Stephen drove with him to West Virginia to save what I have left. It was a tremendous amount of work for both of them and they did it just to give of themselves. You can read all about that from past posts. Anyway, I was able to give them a lot of things to enjoy and use and that made me feel so good, I began to randomly give things to neighbors sitting outside on their stoops and the stories that go with everything. I gave one of the neighbors a vacuum cleaner almost new. Cindy who I am staying with wanted some of my most precious memories. Years ago, nobody wanted nothing, now they want it all! I appreciate that but all that matters is that I'm able to let go of it all with fun, friendship and respect.
June 09, 2015
The River at Linden Ave, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
The truck finished its second return to the shop and they re-did their work. Its working better but still not up to snuff and that makes me absolutely crazy! I will deal with it one way or another, eh? I drove to another old spot I've been to many times by the Delaware river. There's really not any place new I can find here in my old neck of the woods so to speak. I've been around the block many times. Anyway, I wanted to practice some of my old sheet music which I have practically, totally forgotten. No way. People were super friendly and not shy at all. Someone from my past found us, neighbors, visitors to the park... one lady went home to get treats for Mo. I had an enormous amount of resistance to want to interact with people but I pushed myself and I can never regret doing that. Interacting with people keeps me alive especially when I am not absorbed in nature and dealing with crap like the truck repairs. One thing I am becoming more aware of... I can offer people the piano seat but if they resist... I go into persuasion mode a lot less than I used to. It began to rain so I put the truck cover on and then it stopped so Mo and I took a walk. Every time I visit this place over the years, the types of people become more diverse and some, more nefarious. I'm so trying to take it easy. Dealing with the end of my belongings in my friend basement is a dilemma. Letting go of the very last of what I own, and my career archives, etc... is really putting myself out into the universe as raw as it can get.
June 08, 2015
Wow, I had chronic pain in my mid section last night and am really thankful I had some meds to help get through it. I just know that dealing with the truck repair caused it. No matter... exercise, meditation, talking to a friend, pushing through whatever... often I can't escape the physical manifestation of stress or stress in of itself. I was thinking how the other day when I finished paying out the butt to have the Traveling Piano repaired, the first thing that happened on the first drive out was for it to stall when it was idling. As rage came forward an old Italian guy came over to the truck window to express his interest and joy about the Traveling Piano and I was forced to suppress my rage to not destroy his pleasure. Lol, that was not easy at all! Anyway, the truck is now back in the shop and I think they are interested in setting what is wrong, right. The neighborhood I am in is full of very small houses, thousands of them and I have not seen one that is not cared for and each one is unique in its own way. There are not many places in the country where I have seen this. Spending time with my friend Cindy and her family and friends has been very comforting. I met neighbor tonight and had a nice talk with them. Keeping my life in perspective... that I have more to do with this journey before settling down... is difficult although I do think if a I had home base to return to when needed that would help allot.
June 07, 2015
Tyler State Park, Pennsylvania
When I woke up and felt like hiding. This truck issue... I must keep reminding myself that a prayer was sent up out loud before finding a place to do the repairs and would deal with whatever happens no matter how difficult so there is no excuse for the angst I feel. In my super taking it easy today at about 5:30 in the afternoon, Mo and I took a drive and we ended up in an old spot with nothing but good memories at sunset. People found us few guys belonging to a jeep club named the 215 Jeep Crew, a young couple laid out a blanket in front of us to enjoy the sunset on a grassy area, a Russian family found us and the mother played an old Russian melody she had learned when she was young... in a short amount of time, we met quite a few people. Mo was pissed off because we had no time for a walk.
June 06, 2015
Delaware River Park, Pennsylvania
For the past few days I've driven to the very back of a nearby river park and played for about an hour. People find us, not many. The encounters are always full of fun, friendship and respect. Many people I meet in parks do not own a computer. Those people also usually frequent parks on a regular basis and have been doing so for most of their lives. In cities often there are small groups of people that meet and bond and have life long friendships with each other, the parks being the catalyst. One guy I met is a truck driver who makes deliveries on a regular basis to the state park in Berkeley Springs, West Virginia where I have created music on a regular basis since the journey began. I'll probably never return there again. The place is a vortex and I am a vortex magnet and I feel I have been finally repelled out of it but still... what are the chances that I would meet someone here in this northeast Philadelphia park who knows so well and frequents that little crazy spot in the pan handle of West Virginia. There is a bald eagles nest near where I was parked. It gives people a reason to connect. They come and watch the birds and take pictures and have conversation. The Traveling Piano also gives people a reason to connect. While in Philadelphia when I go out I must decide whether I want to be just by myself or interact with individuals, or use what I have to offer for people to connect, especially strangers as I enjoy the idea of strangers becoming less afraid of each other. Mostly... I just go out and whatever happens... happens.
June 05, 2015
Delaware River Park, Pennsylvania
The truck repair... its still a problem. Ugh, I'll deal with it but it exhausts me so. I mean, really exhausts me. I know I'm getting old when I'm ripped off with a business transaction and its too bothersome to fight it. Who Hoo! A friend just signed up to contribute $5 a month to help keep me going. It was a contribution to be supportive and part of. You may or may not know the Traveling Piano does not solicit fee's, tips or have any commercial, organizational or political affiliation when interacting with people, nor does my website have ads and what is shared online is without cost. That... is the brand so to speak. It is what has made the Traveling Piano unique and most enjoyable for almost ten years. The intent and agenda is pure Musical Fun, Friendship and Respect. So... with those facts and that now, I am out of personal money which has mostly funded the journey since the start... the Traveling Piano truck this week... a half years insurance and repairs cost $1400.00 dollars.
I'm still on this journey because of a power greater than myself. Much of the emotional support has come from those who have contributed financially no matter how small the amount. I have a computer to connect with you and have stayed in motels this year so far because of one specific person who has helped but they cannot fuel all the costs which are growing as time moves on. I have no home or home base. Also, people are no longer inviting us into their homes as they once did. Thank God for the friends who have done so over the last year. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Some info, I just looked it all up... There are 9 people who contribute monthly which comes out to $4 day. Nine other people have contributed this year separately which comes to an additional $8 a day so... you see, I need more support. How about a few bucks a month? Without question I do not have the where-with-all to fund-raise. Contribute
June 04, 2015
I was driving around aimlessly hoping to run into the auto mechanic shop that glued my engine together a few years ago. My friend Larry who sent me to the guy, has since died. After a while I gave up and sent a prayer out to God. Please help me to find someone to take care of the truck, I can't deal with worrying about who, if they are any good, going to rip me off, etc... Very slowly I turned a corner to see if a place I had stopped at for something years ago might be a mechanics place. It was an oil and lube spot but as I was turning the corner again I sort of drifted into a place across the street and the driveway was on a slant which would be perfect for them to see my problem. I can't get the gas fast enough when letting out the clutch on a hill and it doesn't seem to feed when I start it in the mornings. Out of the trees from the back of the building comes a guys asking if he can help me.
I asked if he was the owner and he said yes. I began to tell him how I was looking for a place my friend Larry Nulph sent me to... and he asked how I knew Larry. Larry had hired him at a workplace some thirty years ago. So it felt like Larry from above sent me to this guy to repair my truck. Its in the shop now and so far the cost is a thousand bucks which makes me squirm very much. I'm going to have to ask for help for that bill. While waiting I walked through Pennypack Park where my mother would take me and neighborhood friends for lunch picnics when I was very young. The park has not been maintained and there is a lot of trash in it but the beauty of nature still exists there. My parents graves were very close by so I visited them. Back at my friend Cindy's place I became domesticated as I once was... pulling weeds in the yard, mulching some and placing rocks around garden boarders.
June 03, 2015
With about two hours sleep I got up at 8am which is for me like 3am. I had an appointment with Dr. Dibello. The commitment to get up was what kept me from sleeping along with angst over telling him my ailments throughout last year and also the feeling that today will be the very last time I'll ever see him. He told me that I lost seven pounds and everything physically seems ok. I'd prefer hearing that to him finding something wrong with me. I'm fairly sure I cracked a rib which he said would heal. I might have had a heart attack and/or concussion and issues from breathing in a lot of black mold but... there was nothing wrong today so that is that. The seven pound loss was a major plus to hear. Afterwards, I stopped at my childhood bakery and stuffed myself with cream donuts. Yep, it is what it is and it is crazy that I've been getting back here to Philly to were I was born almost every year since I left. My doctor is my original doctor. He delivered me from my mom's womb sixty years ago.
At 87 years of age he still operates out of a small office on the bottom floor of a Philadelphia row home and takes cash. He has never once diagnosed me wrong. Dr. Dibello is head honcho at the local hospital he has been affiliated with and... in all his sixty one years of practice has never missed even one Christmas in spending the day there with his patients. We took a selfie together. His secretary absolutely freaked out when I went to take a picture of the waiting room I used for sixty years. She screamed, "there must be some kind of law to prevent that." I told her she was ridiculous and living way too fear based. Afterwards I drove to south Philly to pick up some of my archives from Stephen's basement to store in Cindy's garage. They will have to be moved again, given away or thrown out. Ugh. After sitting on my friend Cindy's front house bench with her housemate Tina and her mother Marie and a health care helper, they were all being bad girls smoking cigarettes... I sort of zoned out to bed needing to get up early once again tomorrow. My time sitting with those three woman, that was pretty funny!
June 02, 2015
It rained all day. I hope I can get the truck started tomorrow. The second half of the attic space where I am staying has been the bedroom of a young guy named Tyler who has not been using it because he's twenty two now and out "sowing his oats." I spent about four hours cleaning his space. (while remembering that I was also a slob and my room was a mess at his age) Now I can spread out into it even if its only for a few days. Then, for the rest of the day I processed pictures from Los Angeles in March and felt angst about the future. Yesterday, I drove the people who handle my debit card crazy because I had to pay my car insurance and could not find the billpay account. After about two hours I realized I've been paying the bills using paypal. Then I paid the cost of saving my archives in West Virginia and moving all that and the rest of my personal possessions to Philadelphia. That cost, well all together with the car insurance came to a thousand. I'm dwindling financially, actually dependent more and more on other than myself now. It does not feel comfortable. I've described two different sets of people I've stayed with through the years. There are those who spend their time working a conventional job to get the money for what they need or want and then there are those who spend their time working the land itself for necessities and now I'm realizing there is a third... me. I have been working "myself" for the necessities of life. It has been through love, faith and gratitude. Thats changing... I'm getting to the point that in order to keep going I can't do it myself, I feel to old to start working the land and how the hell would I ever go back to working conventionally at this point or unconventionally for that fact? One day at a time... I don't think I want to stop doing what I've been doing, I enjoy it and still have the passion when I am in it.
June 01, 2015
South Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
It has been pouring rain. For the last year where we have been, all rain has been short passing showers, quick downpours or drizzle. These are long periods of rain. It is what it is and the piano and speaker under a cover in the back of the truck will either be wet or dry, there will be no in between. I drove to see Stephen who with his friend moved all my stuff into his tiny row house cellar from West Virginia to South Philadelphia. I don't know what to do with it all but it can't stay there. I already gave some stuff to them but my belongings fill a space of 8x9' ...the end of my life's possessions like my career archives which no one wants. I'm sure people will regret that years from now but... it is what it is. My spare piano is down there and I told Stephen and his roommates to use it but the power chord and pedal were not in the box. There was absolutely no way it was to be found or even reached with the way everything was packed in. I just sat on the cellar step looking at it all trying to absorb what was there and what to do.
We were going to go through some of the things but I just couldn't do it. He asked what was in a white styrofoam container in front of us. I looked and it was a blue outside tarp I used in West Virginia to protect the truck from weather at one point. Then I very slowly suggested to just look inside the cooler that was there in the front. I opened it up and there was the piano pedal and power chord, nothing else. You may have had to be there to know and feel what that was like. It was remarkable. We hooked up the piano, there was a drum set next to it and Stephen and I created some music together. It was a surreal feeling and afterwards Stephen told me how when he was a little boy we had once done that together and it was one of my first time's ever improvising with someone else. Maybe with the rain, I can get to processing some of the pictures from the last few months traveling across the country. The one's posted today are from a road I was driving on in a place named Crystal Geyser, I think that was in Utah.