HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010
Use the links to the left to read a past Month or Year... and then there is always your Backspace to return to a past page.
November 30, 2013
I'm going to finish off the last week of this month with a gratitude list. So here goes... I am grateful for all the friends who are making financial contribution for support in order to continue with my life works contribution to society and the world through love, respect and fun... and not money. Although goals are fun and good, I am thankful that reaching goals are not so important to me. I am majorly thankful that I don't want to destroy everything about myself because of the how slow it can take for me to get things done in life. Although it has been very difficult and caused problems in my life I am thankful that I am dyslexic because I think much of my creativity is directly a result of it. I am thankful that I had the courage to ask my facebook friends for help financially and establish boundaries and limits for my personal self respect concerning that. I am thankful that I am not afraid of people like was for my first 50 years... for the smell and feel of the ocean breeze which I will experience sooner than later in the near future and I am grateful that every difficulty in life passes, that my needs are always met... or they pass... and to be living the reality of my dreams and illusions. I am grateful for my life at age 50 my own musical voice began to speak out... I thank the universe for no self centered ego in my music or work... to be able to call myself a musician in being able to appreciate music. I have gratitude for that and that the Traveling Piano truck is still running... I am thankful to have finished this thoughtful, honest and sincere gratitude list (without too much effort, I might add) of a hundred things I am thankful and grateful for.
November 29, 2013
I'm going to finish off the last week of this month with a gratitude list. So here goes... I'm grateful for access to toilet paper... for the warm sock slippers I'm wearing right now in this frozen place and for the small space heater that is keeping it basically warm where I am. I am grateful my computer works and I have a real time connection with the world (for what its worth) While in Newfoundland a very close friend had an amazingly clean, white and totally comfortable goose down comforter for me to use while visiting and then gave it to me as I left. After all these years and without a home amazingly enough, I still have it and woke up warm and safe under its protection in this mornings cold air. I have a toilet to use. I was really getting tired of using "out houses" in rural areas when its cold! When I began creating my own music I let all my old sheet music (most out of print, one of a kind arrangements) blow away in the wind. I was done with it all for good! Now, maybe I will need to perform again at some time to create funding or help build a musical bridge to communication in another country. I've forgotten how to play my old repertoire. With nothing less than miraculous help, I have replaced 90% of what was lost and am practicing. Thankful! I am thankful to have learned I can breath through my nose without opening my mouth. (learned that through yoga at age 50) I am thankful that I can die knowing I have had a life bigger, better, more than I could possibly ever imagined. I am thankful for the many years I spent in therapy learning to trust myself. I am thankful for my simple morning ritual of having coffee.
November 28, 2013
I'm going to finish off the last week of this month with a gratitude list. So here goes... I am thankful that I can feel good on a holiday like today for no reason, not knowing why, just because... that I still play like a kid, that I have been able to live my life... my way, that I was able to recreate my most favorite childhood autumn, thanksgiving experience today... walking through, feeling, smelling, hearing the sounds in deep piles of fallen leaves, that I have affected people for the rest of their lives through music and the spirit of fun, friendship and respect with love and that I no longer have a desire to be a porn star. I am thankful that when in life I have failed miserably in relating with people. the repercussions have not been severe enough to destroy me. I am thankful that there is more to life than what meets the eye, for the amazing dinner I had today as well as for hotdogs. I am thankful for "shows" as in entertainment in all its forms to escape into, the creativity of art and science... for the changes of environment, season and weather and that the Traveling Piano truck started today. (after only 4 tries in this cold, nothing short of miraculous) While walking today I realized my pants were buttoned (first time in years) and I needed to use my 4th belt hole, I am becoming lighter an absolute need in order to continue with the journey... gratitude. I am grateful for surprises.
November 27, 2013
I'm going to finish off the last week of this month with a gratitude list. So here goes.... Not having the need for a time watch for over twenty five years, thankful and for candles and firelight... how I have learned to gloss over advertisements, commercials, banners and other distracting noise in life and that I owe no one anything and... have no debt. I am thankful that I owned a house and paid it off from my work and thankful I do not have it now, oh my god... the upkeep, did that done that and having been able to survive eight years and running with this journey I have been on, I am thankful. I am grateful that I still have the faculties to walk down a steep hill in total darkness... just did it. That I can feel my body, the depth of the moon at night when I look into the sky which is one of my favorite things, that I have not had to take a drink of alcohol in over 31 years. (not that there's anything wrong with drinking... for others) :) and to have visited countries all over the world for all that I am thankful and grateful. I'm grateful that I don't have any "battle of the wills" with Piano Dog Mo and that he trusts me. I am grateful to have been able to trust that Piano Dog Boner totally 100% loved and respected me and he as my first dog ever, in my minds eye since age 5, manifested finally at age 40 and that we lived a full life together, over fifteen years! I am thankful Piano Dog Mo does not need a leash 95% of the time. I am very, very, very thankful that I can enjoy being by myself and that I lost the feeling of being alone forever when this journey began. Sometimes I feel lonely but know I am not alone. I have found acceptance for who I am.
November 26, 2013
I'm going to finish off the last week of this month with a gratitude list. So here goes... I am thankful for the awareness and enjoyment of breathing, for my son's love and knowing I made the right decision through adoption. I am thankful to know peace. I am thankful to know there is every kind of people everywhere in the world and for whats going to happen in my life next. (it better be good) I am thankful for the possessions I have and for the grace to have an open mind and be inclusive. I am thankful that I realized what some people would call my being obsessive and compulsive is truly... and really... a highly spirited and motivated nature. Thank God for that. I am grateful for the dysfunctional relationships I have been able to let go of, for my tenacity, to always be learning and to be able to ask for what I want in spite of fear or rejection. I am grateful the world has met Piano Dog Bo and Me and now Mo... through over 16,000,000 hits on my personal website alone through the years. I am grateful that the Traveling Piano journey to China will manifest (soon I hope) and thankful I have the funds to get a new Traveling Piano truck engine. I am thankful for the people who serve, create, manufacture, transport, grow, distribute, etc... everything that I enjoy and could not create by myself in life. I am thankful for the ability to have courage, acceptance and wisdom when needed to have peace. Total major gratitude and thanksgiving that I can wake up get out of bed whenever I want. (80% of the last 20 years with crossed fingers) I am thankful that today I enjoy healthy and real food cooked in recipes or raw more than processed junk, fast or frozen food.
November 25, 2013
I'm going to finish off the last week of this month with a gratitude list. So here goes... I am thankful I do not need to live with some of the people I have met in life and grateful for people who give others the benefit of doubt... also, for other people's gratitude and to have escaped thanksgiving family dinner obligations. That was tortuous towards the end of those relationships. For knowing that people care about me, for that I am thankful... to be able to trust that. I am thankful that I still have an alive, close feeling connection, communication with friends, loved ones who have passed... my mom and dad, baby sister pam, aunt and uncles laura, marty, dave, elenore, jerry, thelma, onie, ray, my aunt who i was never allowed to know, an uncle who had a secret death, all my grandparents who I never met, my close friends, neighbors, gertrude, her sister mary, mike, sam, bob, arlene and kathy. I am thankful for having had the happy thanksgiving day experience in many ways over the many years and for all the friends I have had even those who are no longer friends. I am thankful that I can choose to be happy and know how helpful laughing is for me in every way. I am thankful for friends who want what I have to offer, who reach out to me to stay in touch, who support and simply "be" with me when I need just that and nothing else. I am thankful that I am creative and can enjoy that, can connect with life, feel part of, contribute and take. I am thankful to have been given the feeling of unconditional love and to have learned how to honor respect. I am thankful for the diversity of life in nature, people, even politics and religion, traditions, thinking... everything. God, I'd be so bored without it all. :)
November 24, 2013
I'm going to finish off the last week of this month with a gratitude list. So here goes... I am thankful that I know where to get reassurance and validation when I need it and... it is always available I am thankful tha I am able to see signs that I am cared for. I am thankful that when I ask for help I get it, if I am clear ... its a feeling and... that I know and have what I want more than anything else in life, my relationship with Mo. When Mo came into my life I said, "if you only had one choice, the journey or another relationship with a dog which would you choose. Even when I sometimes get caught up in illusions, I am eventually able to clarify reality and be honest about it, I have a set of tools to get through life that works for me, there are people in my life who trust, understand, tolerate and have patience for me. I'm thankful for every person who I was originally a stranger with who opened their home for my dog and I to stay in, over one hundred and twenty five different people ...I have realized my life long dream of accepting and being accepted by different kinds and types of people. I am thankful more than anything else in life for grace. To know and have grace is amazing. Piano Dog Mo is grace personified! I am thankful to sometimes know that whatever security I create is an illusion, there is no such thing as security and also, nothing wrong with that fact, gratitude for my innate insights into life... from the past for the present and future. I am thankful for the empathy and compassion I have as well as see and experience from other people. I am thankful that I have learned to not get caught up in media drama and hype.
November 23, 2013
Wow, I am feeling so insecure in not knowing what to do, which direction to take, feeling the need for a secure place to live or the means to be on the road without needing to find places to stay all the while keeping in mind that I don't think the truck will make it through the winter in the cold but going south means finding a place to rent because I just don't have it in me to keep roaming anymore after all... its been how many years? I began to cry and you know what Mo did? He threw up. This dog is ultra sensitive to my state of being. He always has been but even though his nerves are racked he will still want to play through it verses shut down. Below is a short piano improvisation from years back under a bridge in the pouring rain.
November 22, 2013
I'm trying to put out as much info as possible to get support. The Traveling Piano needs to be restored and I need support to continue on another year if it is meant to be. This was a Canadian television interview from 2008 while in Newfoundland at the most eastern tip.
November 21, 2013
Another collage, pictures with people and their dogs with Mo and the Traveling Piano. There have been many situations like this. Mo is always a good sport about sharing his space. For the last three days, I've created music for people one-on-one through headsets. It feels like I am finding my way into something new but what, I am not sure. I purchased a new domain name... MusicSpaTherapy.com There is desire to create and package one-on-one self indulgent music sessions in high end spas. Its too cold to play outdoors and also, I've been working about a half hour a day on playing some of my old stride piano music.
November 20, 2013
There have been many a syncronistic kiss between couples on the Traveling Piano. I made a collage of a few. These days my mind seems to naturally focus on keeping things from happening much more than allowing things to happen. I have always very much created my own reality, all relationship in every form. A fact of my life is that in order to create the kind of relationships I want with anything... action from myself is needed to start things off to get what I want in all ways. Anything that has come to me naturally or has already existed from my past is usually dysfunctional in some way. Dysfunction seems to come naturally. Anything progressive or serving a good function for my life I must allow. Fear blocks my allowance. There is a need for me to consciously allow myself to be aware of my fears and then not care about "anything" especially the fears and then be willing... and then just go through whatever is needed to have what I want.
November 19, 2013
A few days ago I found a great paper wasp nest while walking in the woods. Today, I brought my music indoors. I am experimenting with an idea. When creating music outdoors I have found myself becoming more and more one with the music. My eyes are closed more often and all there is... is music. A friend came over to lay comfortable in my recliner with headphones on as I sat at the piano, also with headphones on while creating music. I am looking to see of there can be a special connection between just the two of us both hearing nothing but the same music, at the same time. We both connected with the music but I don't think the music connected us. Exploring... experimenting...
November 18, 2013
While growing up every time I asked for something the answer was always no. Then after tugging, pleading, cajoling, a lot of pain in the ass begging always... I would get what I wanted. I would ask why I had to go through the process every time with no exceptions and the answer was always negated. The reason I bring this up is because sometimes I get very disappointed with people who say they want to contribute, offer help, support, say they are going to contribute without my asking and then do nothing. I've had people tell me to pester them, that I must stay in their face about it, that its their way. Well, it is not my way... I had enough of that while growing up and now I demand respectful relating so, I just let it all go with a lot of disappointment. It is amazing how many people commit to doing and then do nothing. It is on my mind today because of the truck engine. I'm waiting on people who offered to do something and are doing nothing. So how long do I wait before moving on?
November 17, 2013
I spent time with my friend Jeff today in Berkeley Springs, West Virginia with his daughter, girlfriend and dog, and with other friends along with having had some pizza in a modest house on a hill with an amazing view. You don't have to be rich to have a home with a beautiful view that is for sure! How to keep the passion going for this journey is what I have been thinking about these days, how to stay interested, involved... what am I passionate about? The Traveling Piano is such a good thing for the world and has been a way I have found to personally contribute to life in every way. It will not continue without contribution so please drop a few bucks in our direction. Contribution If you need an address for mail, email me here... Contact
November 16, 2013
Everyday possible I want to be with the Traveling Piano making the most of life and sharing it with as many people as possible. We drove to Hancock, Maryland in the afternoon to a usual area on the Potomac River where we could create some music, meet some people and get some exercise through a walk along the C&O canal path. I met a guy named Sam, a family with a son going to school for piano who unfortunately was not present, also Mo and I spent some very special time with a guy who was completely enamored with everything about the Traveling Piano. We found our selves in an intimate conversation about gratitude, moving forward with living life. His wife of 37 years was shot to death last year in Washington DC. The idea of guns made be think about hate and how hate creates such a nasty withdrawal. Hate eats people alive. With love... that creates expansion. Love is expansive, in an experimental and explorative way.
November 15, 2013
While the weather is still not too cold... off to the park we went. More and more I find myself closing my eyes when I create music. A van pulled up next to us. It sat there for a few minutes and then the doors opened. Mennonites with caps and dresses began to filter out in a steady stream, and a long stream it was... all one family with a mom, dad and seven kids.They were traveling from northern Indiana to a wedding down south and wanted to stretch there legs. They were mild, sensitive and kind with interest. It was a first for many of the children to see mountains as they live on flat land. The kids were shy, so mom climbed into the truck and got onto the piano seat first, then dad and of course all the kids followed. They did not want their picture taken which was fine with me although it would have made for a wonderful visual to share. Afterwards, they all went on a hike bunched together while walking across a path along the lake. Then up the mountain and around the lake in single file while I created music. It was a beautiful sight to see. One of my favorite things in life is to experience parents sharing nature with their children.
November 14, 2013
My friend Jeff called me about three in the afternoon and said, "get outside, its beautiful out." I wondered how he knew I needed a shove. I just stopped everything including my brain, put on my coat, drove to the park, created some music and then went for a walk. The trees are clear of leaves, it was dark with the moon shining bright (not full)... we were walking down a mountain and I was feeling for the first time ever... waves of warm air rising into the night air from down below. The area at the bottom was all lit up due to the reflection of the moon on a large lake. With just Mo and no people around it was even better!
November 13, 2013
I put out money for a new piano today. It felt like the right thing to do. I could be wrong. I've been so focused on leaving where I have been staying while not really leaving and holding back in many ways with with my life about many things because I am constantly on the verge of leaving in the meantime... I'm still, always leaving... so the present moment is where I want to be and right now while I'm still here I want to "practice" my old repertoire in case I have to go make some money and also, I want to experiment with an idea in my head which involves one-on-one relationship with other people and communication through music, indoors and through headphones. I can't practice in the cold weather outside and it is also much for Mo to just sit and not move around in the cold. Short periods of time in the cold creating music no problem but in general, I can't take the cold like I used to.
November 12, 2013
I have had a pure feeling of simply "being" in relationship with nature. With Piano Dog Boner I experienced for the first time ever a "present moment" ...the space of total peace, security and contentment. Last night for the first time ever I had a total immersion of simply "being" in spirit with Piano Dog Mo. When thinking about hate today it creates such a withdrawal. It eats you alive. With love... that creates expansion. Love is expansive in an experimental and explorative way.
November 11, 2013
I hung out inside today. Its been a week of trying to do little things with no success like cutting my hair, switching my clothes from one travel case to another, packing dog food into travel size bags... I'm always working it just doesn't feel that way. I cooked a great whatever... with too much pork picnic slow cooked for 12 hrs with chicken breasts in ketchup, ginger, sea salt, cyan pepper and 5 other seasonings with brown sugar, chili powder, beef bouillon, string beans, fresh brussels sprouts, rice, pinto beans all mixed on a whim, another experiment... wow, can we talk flavor? Of course, several gallons of it... A really funny thing... Mo lays on the recliner with me between my legs as I work. Do you know how a dog jumps to attention every time it hears a loud sound? Well, he has been almost jumping off the recliner every few minutes. Can you guess why? The beans from my "whatever."
November 10, 2013
My head has been spinning, jamming, feeling insecure, trying to work through life... I drove into town to visit and create music for friends who have contributed to my journey, they were not there. I pulled into a school parking lot to let Mo run a bit and then created some music in the freezing cold. A couple of guys playing ball in a field with a kid stopped buy on the way out to say they really enjoyed the music and one of the guys tried out the piano. Then a mom and dad stopped with their kids to play on the swings as I was about to leave. I asked if they wanted the kids to have a go at the piano and they jumped at the chance... the parents, not the kids. The boy and girl were content to play on the swings and has absolutely no interest otherwise. The mom said she made them stranger proof. My music is becoming more meditative and in the moment. It is definitely meant to be heard live and I think it is ready to be shared more one on one, maybe indoors and intimately in relationship. I know that sounds strange and will be able to explain it better as time moves forward. I may be into focusing more with awesome, therapeutic, healing, oneness feelings.
November 09, 2013
It almost feels like today did not happen. Mo and I drove to Winchester, Virginia to get some dog food, touch up paint for the truck and some coffee filters. I stopped in the park which was mostly closed and the dog area for members only... you know how I feel about that well, I drove into the closed area anyway to create a little bit of music even though it is pretty cold out. Some people strangely enough found us while disc golfing in the park. It was a group of friends visiting from Nicaragua. Then a friendly couple found us. What motivated me most to drive into Winchester today was a truck that I saw in the dark last week while walking through a neighborhood. It was a perfect truck to switch to if I cannot get the engine replaced for the present truck and if money ever came my way to pay for a new one but alas, I found in the daylight it is a well kept old chevy model probably in worse shape than mine to drive.
November 08, 2013
I'm spinning in ma' brain as usual and almost numb about finishing the hundreds of little pieces of paper cleaned up with addresses, notes and info on them that I have been saving since 2010. It just means I'm a step closer to leaving for somewhere. The need for a new truck engine lurks in my brain constantly. If I don't start the truck for two days it has a major problem starting with white smoke (carburetor and engine) spewing out. It can stop running at any time but I've been saying that since 2006. I want to get some of my old piano music repertoire back into my hands just in case I ever need it to perform again or to use as a bridge of communication in another country like China. The problem is I do not have a piano to practice on as the cold weather is here. Do I leave now for Florida... as I must go there. It is the last place in the United States I want to visit on my bucket list. Do I just go anywhere, to keep myself going? Do I make sure my "house" mentally, spiritually and physically is in order before I do anything? Do I stay put and look for money or... spend the rest of what I have and deal with the issue once I am penniless which will be soon. My mind fluctuates constantly when it comes to asking people if we can visit and stay with them and also ask people for money. It is excruciating at times and feels so wrong. Then, sometimes I know it is totally right and appropriate. There is a difference between commanding money as a representation for my work as I did on the truck for twenty years verses asking for money so that I can work now without agenda. Its now all still work just more fun work than before. That last sentence has something for me to think about in it but I do not want to think anymore right now.
November 07, 2013
The fall color is basically over. I'm glad I saw some of it. Finally, I'm making headway with cleaning out pieces of paper with information, names and addresses that I have been saving since 2011. Its depressing me a bit because I think I may be wasting my time filing it all away. Ah, who knows, I just know it feels good to clear in all out. I've been trying to register my vehicle for the next year online with yet another home base address for the system. Its really disappointing to have friends who act as safety nets for me and then life changes for them and then as a result our relationship changes. Online, with social networks I think my having opinions as I've had in the past, that needs to stop. People don't want to hear my opinions they want to hear about my musical fun, friendship and respect. There are only so many things I can influence in life so I want to choose a few things to focus on and want to stay focused on them for as long as they are influential. That would be my Fun, Friendship and Respect and not homeless rights, the right to clean water, to enjoy nature without cost, the educated taking advantage of the ignorant, people owning automatic machine guns running amuck, etc... Creating musical fun, friendship and respect... that is where my influence is strong.
November 06, 2013
The temperature was in the 70's today. I was not going to miss the opportunity to get out and enjoy it in the park.
November 05, 2013
It was just Mo and I today in the park and it was cold enough for Mo's sweater. The sound of music is changing, it echoes with most of the tree leaves now on the ground. I am so grateful for the change of seasons. When I was young, I used to watch the seasons change through the years on the streets of Philadelphia and now I have seen them change several times here in West Virginia but in all of nature. The collage I made today is of girlfriends on the Traveling Piano. Friends that include park rangers from Denali, Alaska... people in Whitehorse, Canada... Dawson city in the Yukon... ladies from Japan in Las Vegas, NV... girls on the street in Philadelphia, and also Schuylkill Haven, PA... nurses working after the tornado in Joplin, MO... friends in Cacapone State park and Berkeley Springs, West Virginia... witches from Washington State... new age friends from Tucson AZ... and a couple of gals from Geneva, Illinois.
November 04, 2013
I was thinking, I am always thinking... about how it does not matter what or who you love in life. All that matters is that the love is through gratitude. There is no greater "high" in life than to love something or someone intensely. My dog Mo, supplies for my need to love more than anything else in life including this journey. I would say that the love is totally self-indulgent because he simply mirrors my love back to me but it is not self-indulgent as the love comes through gratitude.
November 03, 2013
Last night Mo was sleeping next to me and I breathed in his dander all night. I'm allergic. That meant achy body, slow brain and a headache all day as well as cleaning up dog hair, washing the bed sheets, etc... around the place where I am staying. The cold weather is back so I didn't feel like going outside. I told my friend John I'd go with him to hang out for an hour with people in the Martinsburg, West Virginia hospitals looney bin wing having not done that for years. I feel very comfortable around people who are wacko... probably because I consider myself wacko. When we were leaving there was a kid having a drug overdose laying on the wheel of my truck. He was almost gone but still breathing. We got him in a wheel chair and hospital staff took over. Definitely, I had no feeling about it which means there is probably a tremendous amount of feeling stuffed away somewhere especially since its on my mind strong enough to write about it now. Spending time with my friend John felt good.
November 02, 2013
After being pampered by my friends for two days, Mo and I drove back to West Virginia. We drove through some intense autumn color. I thought about how much I needed the love and care they gave to me. Dave cooked and served me breakfast and dinner both days, Bonnie cleared out a room for me and made up a bed, they both listened to me rant a bit about my life and I left with a delicious sandwich for on the road. Before that we created some music on the sidewalk outside their house, a neighbor came over, Bonnie brought some sheet music out to play and as she began to play the first piece I noticed it was ragtime. Then I thought, "I know this piece, its not Scott Joplin it might be Joseph Lamb." Then I realized, "Oh my God its one of the pieces in my old repertoire!" The Harlem Rag, it is a very obscure piece of music. When I began searching intensely a few months ago for copies of the twenty songs I played over and over for twenty years... this piece was the one piece I thought I'd never be able to find! It so funny that she had it and was playing it in front of me. Now I have a copy of it.
November 01, 2013
This entry marks month number eighty three of this blog. I dropped off the truck first thing this morning for the guys at Shoreline Awning in Pasadena, Maryland so they could make me a new cover for the trucks piano and equipment. They worked almost twelve hours on it straight through the day in knowing I am always on the move. This company had helped me out a few years ago without charge so I felt really confident in having them do the work. They paid attention to detail in every way with my needs and I can't put into words how much I appreciate that. We are staying with my friends Bonnie and Dave who live close by. My mind and head is all over the place, the journey is not so easy as when we first met years ago. Bonnie noticed that I am "all over the place" in my head as always... the only difference is now everything is "all over the place" in slow motion. Yea, I'm moving very slow. The muffler now needs to get replaced and the engine can go at anytime. I have the funds to rebuilt it, just need someone interested, knowledgeable, fair and who can do the job as the guys did today.