HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010
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March 31, 2013
A dark and rainy day, this is probably good because I would have gone out again with the Traveling Piano even though yesterday is taking its toll on me physically. Today I created my second slideshow video of the Traveling Piano trip up to the north of Canada when Mo and I were heading for the Top of the World Highway in Alaska. It is full of nature photos from along the road in Calgary, Banff, Edson and Jasper Canada throughout the Alberta, the Canadian Rockies and Dawson in Yellowhead County... Buffalo, Antelope, Moose, Mountains and Water...
March 30, 2013
One sunny day before it gets dark again or so the mostly wrong weather reports say. In any case I wasn't going to miss today. The question was wether to travel to a place I had never been or settle for the same old, same old. Seeing as I did not get up early... the same old choice won out. The next question... lots of people or maybe none as in the center of town or the park. A "me" day won out so we drove to the closest spot in the local park. The day was perfect in every way. Sun, warmth, time by myself to record music even with people getting on the truck to mess around with the piano before me... dogs arrived for Mo to play with and he found himself in the lake as well as rolling around on the ground. We met people of all ages from locals, new local transplants to the area... a young guy visiting from Iran with his twin cousins from Washington DC....
People who had been hiking in the mountains while listening to the music came down and found us. People from Argentina, Ecuador, Costa Rica and a few other countries discovered us. Doesn't that sound crazy to meet such an array of people in a small rural state park in West Virginia? It was fun. It also felt easy and smooth... I began to get into telling "journey" stories a few times. That began to drain me. While creating music I was looking at my arms and hands in the sun while discovering how old my skin is becoming in every way... time for skin lotions, no more elasticity. Ugh, if I am able by some miracle of God to once again... get into shape before I die, the result may be more energy and better feeling but I sure as hell ain't gonna look like a tight, good looking spring chicken anymore... thats for sure!
March 29, 2013
I read that a person should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day unless they are too busy;
then they should sit for an hour. Ha, another one: The matter with all the matter is, that there is actually no matter... speaking in energetic terms of course. I've been getting down to the basics of what I give and get etc... with the Traveling Piano and how I want to continue onward. As from the start of this new way of life I want to work with someone. At this point it is the only way there will be a future along with the necessity to lose my present "portly" look. When it all started I said to then piano dog Boner, "lets go have fun with the time we have left in life." That had nothing to do with any agenda like the now Traveling Piano mission statement. I had no purpose like to create music, sahre the piano or work as I now do for and with relationship in life through the Traveling Piano. What comes to mind is someone who once said that my work and what I do does not define who I am. They said that to lighten my load but today the statement confuses me.
March 28, 2013
Wow, the gray, dark wet days are beginning to get to me. They are pissing me off or maybe I'm just feeling impatient with myself. I think the sun was out three days this month so far. I was going to create music anyway today and then I got hailed, snowed and sleeting on. Everything got wet, damm hate it when that happens. I posted pictures into the gallery today (2013 picture gallery) from when I was out with the truck earlier in the week and was reminded of my favorite Traveling Piano scenario... a bunch of people, strangers of all ages who have never met before... huddled up on the piano together making musical sounds and having fun. That amazes me every time I see it... total uninhibited joy.
March 27, 2013
There are big dreams yet. Even though I may have already wrote them down several times before, I am going to to it again. To be physically in shape as much as possible, rebuild the Traveling Piano truck from scratch keeping the same size, look and basic components with modifications for all terrain travel and be able to transform for driving regulations in different countries as well as have convenience built in for basic use... visit China to create music. That is a strong as ever as well as the Superbowl dream. Connection and relationship with other people, more travel and the sharing of nature. I want to continue but not alone. There are strong thoughts for a television show. The more thought that goes into that the more complex work I am finding it to be. Merchandising has always been in the mix for example a little remote control toy Traveling Piano truck! One or more home bases that are comfortable, safe, clean, private and secure are needed. Is this all delusions of grandeur? I know for a fact that it can all happen. The question is wether I am interested enough to make it all happen. Maybe not and maybe my interests will change. Can I change my interests or not stick to them and also not question or guilt myself over what I did not create? Can I get honest enough to know and accept my choices even if they fail?
March 26, 2013
Thoughts of saving myself from delusions of grandeur swirl in my head. Grandeur is possible but am I really honestly interested enough to do whatever my grand gestures would take? The idea of legacy has also been swirling in my head. Thinking about future legacy is not as important as thinking about the present. I'm not sure legacy is important at all. Ideas and people from the past inspire but through time all inspirations fade and are replaced with new inspiration. Like everything else, there is nothing permanent to create in a legacy. From what I can experience... there is not a particle of my spirit that wants to die. Sometimes there is not a particle that wants to live. Ha, this is true. Its not depressing, does not feel sad, desperate, lonely, needy... it just is what it is.
Having purpose... where does that come from when not out of obligation or expectation. It certainly does not come natural for me. When I get it... holding onto it takes my all to remember, keep going and be consistent. That has been one reason why I have bloged everyday since the journey began, to help keep the purpose in spirit. Purpose in staying around for people or even the, "my dog needs me" mentality has been swirling in my head. No one, no dog, nothing "needs" me. I have always said, I do not believe in need. Feelings are not always fact comes to mind. It will be sad when what I have been doing ends also maybe when my life ends but does that mean the Traveling Piano or my life should never end? Ahh... back to delusions of grandeur. These thoughts are important for me to have. They serve as a great distraction! Hahaha...
March 25, 2013
I have written about why South Florida has been on my agenda. Now part of me does not want to go. Fun being a very operative word in this journeys mission... going to Florida to get a picture of myself with the Traveling Piano on a beach with palm trees, out of shape, tired and fat... there is nothing fun about that for me. The picture specifically is what has been motivating me to go. Can I go and not get a picture just go for the journeys sake? Thinking in those terms, why not to Hollywood and also other places on the bucket list? This has nothing to do with vanity, God knows... just look at some of the pictures I've posted of myself here on the website and through the years... it is about my basic self image. Been here, been there, being fifty eight years old, a life time of working on self image along with over thirty years of pyscho and other types of therapies (which are responsible for my achievements thus far) God knows, I know what to do and what not to do about everything. The question is wanting to do something or not. That is quite simple. Thinking about why or why not can get complicated. Sometimes my brain just does not function not because I don't want it to or am repressing thoughts or feelings... I simply become emotionally void in thinking. Of course all this makes me just spin in circles. Without question my life has always been cyclic. Some might think that is not so good but... the progressive cycles always grow and since the journey began the regressive cycles well, I'm at a point of holding. I am at square one and don't want to "minus out." My life's cycles used to become as regressive as they did progressive. I'm at a holding point. My present cycle in this journey could for the first time go into regression. If it does, that will be the end. Then what comes to mind is... it is what it is, so be it, I'm ok with that, etc...
Snow is here once again... I headed to Winchester, Virginia to pick up some dog food and also food for myself. I ranted and ruminated in my mind the entire time about how selling and purchasing necessities, how it is all constantly becomes more manipulative. It can drive me crazy. (of course it is about my driving myself crazy) Two, thirty pound bags of dog food is now a hundred bucks! Advertised is five bags of dog treats for twenty bucks, 20oz. The trick... they are not the usual 20oz bags of dog treats as in five 20oz bags... they are five 4oz bags that equal 20oz. Another piss off... offering new customers twenty percent less in price than the regular customers? Also, charging 20 percent more to travelers or visitors without a loyalty card? Online the most ridiculous manipulation yet... they will ship items to the local store (that are always in stock anyway) ...for you to go and pick up without cost!!! All this begs for me to ask the question... what would life be without distractions from what is really important?
March 24, 2013
Even though it is still cold the sun was out and I wanted to take advantage of its warm feeling. I headed into Berkeley Springs, West Virginia to have dinner with a friend. I have been missing social contact. Also, I wanted to play with the Traveling Piano on the street which I did and everything was great as usual. I became very aware of how "alive" I am in "working" in the moment with the journey but have no feeling about wanting to stay alive or become more alive... it just was what it was... completely enjoyable with all the connection and gratitude that comes along with the feelings, thoughts and actions of what I am able to do. There is no question that I am disturbed with my present state of not being able to decide on life in every way... or not simply "be." Still I feel really good spending time by myself and with Mo in comfortable and safe surroundings. I know with creating more music, exercise, eating better, reaching out more to people, etc... I would feel more alive, creative, energized, accomplished, move forward, etc... but cannot attach feelings to the thoughts in order to emotionally or thoughtfully move forward. When the fear of not needing to get out of where I am does not exist or future concerns with money do not exist I am very content and comfortable to be watching hbo, hanging out on the internet, eating and enjoying Mo. To be honest a lot of time is wasted on beating myself up over my physical health issues. Maybe it is a distraction... like the fear of needing to find a place to sleep needing to leave or money issues, all of that thinking is merely distraction.
March 23, 2013
I have written about why South Florida has been on my agenda. Now part of me does not want to go. Fun being a very operative word in this journeys mission... going to Florida to get a picture of myself with the Traveling Piano on a beach with palm trees, out of shape, tired and fat... there is nothing fun about that for me. The picture specifically is what has been motivating me to go. Can I go and not get a picture just go for the journeys sake? Thinking in those terms, why not to Hollywood and also other places on the bucket list? This has nothing to do with vanity, God knows... just look at some of the pictures I've posted of myself here on the website and through the years... it is about my basic self image. Been here, been there, being fifty eight years old, a life time of working on self image along with over thirty years of pyscho and other types of therapies (which are responsible for my achievements thus far) God knows, I know what to do and what not to do about everything. The question is wanting to do something or not. That is quite simple. Thinking about why or why not can get complicated. Sometimes my brain just does not function not because I don't want it to or am repressing thoughts or feelings... I simply become emotionally void in thinking. Of course all this makes me just spin in circles. Without question my life has always been cyclic. Some might think that is not so good but... the progressive cycles always grow and since the journey began the regressive cycles well, I'm at a point of holding. I am square one and don't want to "minus out." My life's cycles used to become as regressive as they did progressive. I'm at a holding point. My present cycle in this journey could for the first time go into regression. If it does, that will be the end. Then what comes to mind is... it is what it is, so be it, I'm ok with that, etc...
March 22, 2013
I'm have serious dilemmas. For example with this blog... how upfront, intimate and personal do I get? A person can always go deeper and deeper but where does it stop serving purpose? What is this about? My health... if I am to die or the journey ends because I do not, or can not do what I think is needed to take care of myself... do I write about that? The thought of going to Miami to get the final picture of my visualizations... fat... (in my minds eye) is almost intolerable especially after the success I had for the first two years of this journey concerning it all. It would take a while to feel good enough about what is left of my physical looks to feel good about a picture. There is no patience that I want to have concerning the time it would take to get into shape. It does not feel like I have enough time. When I was young I could make it happen quick, and did several times. This is no longer the case even if I can make it happen at all. I do know that I must keep moving in order not to stop. I have not used the time I have had to get my act together like I thought I was going to do, like I thought I wanted and still want to do. This is enough...
March 21, 2013
The feeling to get going again if only for a short while is happening. Miami is still on my agenda and I'm conflicted with desire as to wether I want to stay with strangers or not. The finding places to stay with strangers part of this journey... I just don't know if I want to do that anymore. If someone showed desire and asked us to come stay with them somewhere, yes but it almost never just comes to me. Always, I seem to have the need to seek out and ask. People do invite but never with the timing that works in the moment. For example, I'm looking now towards Florida and someone in Canada says... hey, come here! I would do that but it takes setting up places on the way and on the way back which is becoming more difficult through time. I am not sure if it is the way of todays world with people being less open, visitors being less convenient or... I'm burnt out from it all or... both. Every time I spend money like for a motel room down in Florida that just translates into less possibilities to do something really big like rebuild the truck (already the funds are not there for that) or just leave the country forever with no money... or so thats what I tell myself. Then again, I could just rent out a place to stay and start hustling money for survival. Really? Posted today: Traveling Piano nature photos from along the road in Calgary, Banff, Edson and Jasper Canada throughout the Alberta, Canadian Rockies and in Yellowhead County.
March 20, 2013
The walk in the woods the other day really took its toll on me physically. (probably along with the climbing and lack of eating in a healthy way) Still, I am able to create another slide show and it is number fifty! Flight of Peregrinating Musical Exploration music and picture slideshows... fifty of them! How great is that. It is very, very great as they are all created from gratitude.
March 19, 2013
Ok, there are now two definite... I would quit this journey situations. One as has always been said from the start... I would choose my dog over this journey and now two... after four days I have decided if I had to choose between dieting for the journey or my present body weight... food wins out. Thats the way it is. It is what it is. I will just continue to do the best I can with the acceptance and knowledge that I would rather die or have the journey end from eating too much food than from dieting. Mo and I romped in the woods today for a few hours and I came home famished and un-famished myself. Over the last few days I could not stand to listen to my music, I could not focus and was down to the most simplest of tasks to get through the day. I ate spinach, ricotta cheese cheese pasta with a large piece of chocolate cream pie tonight. Thank God for Chocolate cream pie! Below is a flower and video slideshow of random mostly wildflowers pictures. These flowers were discovered throughout America from this Traveling Piano Journey... Flight of Peregrinating Musical Exploration with my music of course...
March 18, 2013
Movies, music, all people move into obscurity as far as I can see. The money, influence and names stay but the feelings of all does not create inspiration in of itself. I can use money, influence and names as a tool to help create inspiration for myself. It is about "me" doing and I need to keep a clear distinction concerning that. The rituals, obligations, expectations that I adapt from the worlds life experiences I need to be consious of. All inspiration and feeling comes only from inside myself in the present... now. When I woke up this morning one of my first thoughts, shit... the ground is covered with snow again. I don't mind too much it is just that I have been thinking in terms of spring. All the internet weather sites are reporting forty degrees and sunny. Heavy snow is falling. Looking for news or weather reports... the less the better. Then I thought about hunger... so I ate some peanut butter and jelly on a toasted slice of bread while remembering that when I began this journey I was not thinking, "go have fun so you can give and share that fun with the world." I was thinking, "fuck everything go have fun because Bo and you are going to die, enjoy life before that happens." So now... I must get to that point again where I am doing everything for me and let off the "work, share, give" tags or any another purpose because... that is how I have been able to... nope that is wrong... because that is why and how the world has benifited from the Traveling Piano and my Spirit. It has been by thinking about me first and foremost.
March 17, 2013
On twitter there are over 4000 Danny Kean followers. I follow everyone mutually. Everyone is from all over the world and that feels good. I posted a visualization of the Traveling Piano in Finland with single words to convey what is going on with a piano in the back of a pickup truck and a dog sitting on top with different people playing. It was cloudy, dark and cold again today. Mo and I went for a walk in the woods and I sat on a tree stump listening to running creek water and watching Mo rustling in a pile of leaves next to me dismembering a huge tree limb. There was no greenery so the hills were matted in a brown with trees growing upright every few feet apart. Life could not get better in those moments. I was watching the animated film, The Pirates! Band of Misfits. There was a line... What's the best part of being a pirate? Well it's not plundering and it's not cutlasses, it's ham day of course! ...last week I was watching the animated film Wreak-it Ralph... Sweet mother of monkey milk, a gold coin! Ha, sometimes a movie line will really hook me in! Ham... because enjoying food as I have been... is over for now. Don't know whats going to happen about that but today is my second day. I focusing on becoming healthy... once again.
March 16, 2013
West Virginia
It is dark, dank, drizzly and cold today. What I write about I do consider greatly. Remembering that my goal is to communicate my process in life for better or worse, I must stand up for my truth. That is partly why there is no affiliation with the journey. The need for consideration and responsibility that comes with affiliation and association... none. Always I am thinking about the possibilities for change concerning that and also how I may be digging a deep hole for myself away from working with other entities because I tend to tell everything deep and personal but... so be it. There are plenty of examples of peoples lives contrary to my purpose for the world. I am not one or the other, simply me. A while back I decided that I want to die healthy. Not necessarily while getting healthy but simply... healthy. Being healthy has been an issue my entire life especially concerning weight. My being out of shape was partly why this journey began... another attempt to become healthy. It was a major success and written about every day in this blog. I lost around two pounds a month for the first two years with great attitude, exercise and while eating healthy food. Well, here I am again... I watched myself slip for the last four years. I may crash getting healthy once again, but either way... I'll crash faster ending the journey if I do not. I see major public figures in life who have done it in their older years. They are inspirations to look to. Today was day one. Yesterday I had eaten enough food for three days so I have some reserve. Ha! It won't be as embarrassing for me as the last ten or so times in the last two years if I fail again while writing this blog. Each time I fail the stigma of humiliation wears off.
March 15, 2013
Shohola, Pennsylvania
I drove six hours into rural Pennsylvania yesterday to check out a home. I am done or so I think with living on the road, or in temporary digs for now. Not being sure what I am going to do, I am sure I can no longer just roam. The trip to Pennsylvania was a waste of time. Hate when that happens. More so how I can be disappointed in people. Hate that. There was a really nice waterfall where I was and a roaring gorge that someone fell into and died just last week. It was very... easy to fall into. I know it will bother some people to say this but this blog is not to appease anyone. I am going to try and stop eating tomorrow. After driving back six hours today to West Virginia... with how I feel physically I must either get rid of the weight I have put back on over the last few years or die or at least end the journey. There is no patience for gradual... at least for today. Everything is an experiment. Putting this kind of stuff in my blog scares people and probably keeps a lot of potential interest at bay. I have more interest in simply being truthful. It is what it is, for better or worse and my truth is what I have always wanted to convey and what this blog everyday... now in the eighth year has always been about. Its not like I have never been where I am in my brain with todays feelings and thoughts. Been here done this many times in my life so I will just need to see what happens. I think that means I do not have a feeling of control and I want that. Give me control over life... the wrong way, the right way... just gimme, gimme, gimme!
March 14, 2013
Traveling
March 13, 2013
I have been thinking... alot, along with the usual stuff.
March 12, 2013
A guy from New York City who took a picture of the Traveling Piano back in 2008 emailed me. I was in New York looking to garner support to get the truck to China... in Chinatown but more so, I was there to have fun. It was FUN! He was wondering if I ever got there. This morning when I woke up the China agenda was one of the first thoughts I put into my mind while remembering the process is more important than the goal. So this guy... his name is Luis had a facebook page named "New Yorkled State of Mind". I posted the picture here, the bigger and uncropped version is there.
March 11, 2013
I am worn out from the last two days of being out with the Traveling Piano so Mo and I are just hanging out. When Mo entered my life I was not sure wether I could acclimate another dog to a life on the road. I asked myself if I had to choose the journey or another relationship with a dog like I had with Piano Dog Boner which would I choose. I choose dog. Mo immediately acclimated himself in every way to the journey. From the start when he needed to go to the bathroom that was a no brainer and now if he needs to throw up... he goes to the door and waits for me to let him out to do it. Where ever we are staying he innately knows the property boundaries and keeps to them while finding the right spot to do his thing. I purchased a toy for him. It is a cube that you put treats into and he is to roll and push it around to get the treats to fall out. I put his paw on it twice to show him how to turn it over. Two times, that was it. For the last hour he has been throwing that thing around, using both paws to hold it and turn it and get the treats. I showed him once to keep it on the rug because it makes too much noise on a bare floor. Every time it goes on the bare floor he pushes it back on the rug to work it. I am totall amazed he is so smart. I am not kidding, less than a minute it took him to learn the manipulation.
March 10, 2013
Shenandoah Junction, West Virginia
Staying up to date with this blog... something has been going on with that. Today, I am writing about yesterday and today. The sun was out enough to need sunglasses and the temperature perfect for using the Traveling Piano so yesterday, I headed for Berkeley Springs because I knew the streets would be clear of snow. Having been here many times over the years people now know the Traveling Piano. They are genuinely happy to see us... show it and say it. I don't know why that always surprises me. There can be no reason other than negative residue from growing up. Even the meter lady said something nice while not looking at the parking meter. She gave me a ticket a few years ago! I was curious as to how I would handle the situation while getting everything set up. All sense of newness is gone with what I do even though I am still one hundred percent interested with full passion. It amazes me that people who have no idea what is going on or what they should do... simply drift into the situation without hesitation and with my suggestion to climb into the truck and start playing the piano even though they have never tried one before... they just do it. Makes me laugh every time... with joy.
A group of Mennonite women having a bachelorette weekend together happened along... they all jumped into the truck and I drove them through the streets while the bride to be played the piano with Mo hanging out on top. The same thing happened with a group of older guys, but I don't think any of them were getting married. They were sober too! Ha. I met a young guy named Josh in a nearby park two weeks ago but did not have the piano set up in the truck. Mo and I surprised him as he arrived for work at the local Mexican restaurant. A local woman was reluctantly arriving home from a month in Australia. She said I saved the day the Traveling Piano being her first experience back. It was a great day.
Today, I woke up exhausted from yesterday, drank my morning (it was afternoon) coffee and headed out having no idea where I was going. All I knew was that the sun was out, snow was melting and the temperature was perfect. After driving about two hours and wow, through some really amazing West Virginia rolling hills one after the other close together... up and down, up and down like on a roller coaster ride... finding two community parks that were closed... (whats the matter with people, warm sunny sunday afternoon with a closed park) it was getting late. We were mostly driving around in Jefferson County. West Virginia has a lot of small and totally raw cluster settlements in their original states. They are little villages of maybe ten to twenty houses each just falling apart. They are pure in character. If I had the money I'd purchase one of these towns to fix up! Having established my intent for the day of Fun, Friendship, Respect or Whatever... Mo and I hit the jackpot. We pulled into a park with large open fields, not to many people and... and... found that we were driving right up into a parking lot for a great dog park! It was all just perfect especially since daylight savings time began today so we had extra daylight time. We created music, shared the Traveling Piano with people and their dogs all afternoon while alternating with play in the dog area and walking.
March 09, 2013
We are in Berkeley Springs, West Virginia
A new slideshow for today... The slideshow program I have been using which cost a hundred fifty bucks... is giving me shaky frames and the quality is a hassle. I'll need to find something better to create these. It is a learning process. The Traveling Piano has visited a neighborhood in Fallsington, Pennsylvania USA where the neighbors know each other and have been hanging out together as friends since they all moved in. The Traveling Piano has visited every year. It is in my nieces neighborhood and she is the only family member I hang out with. I divorced most the rest of them all. :( Ha, maybe someday if one of them ever invites us to visit and stay with them things will change. Fat chance on that and good for me. No resentment, no drama... after fifty eight years of it all I know what works and what does not, I think.
March 08, 2013
On Twitter I have been collecting new friends from around the globe. Three thousand so far. My goal is to communicate my agenda circumventing language barriers. I've been using online translation applications and have no idea if I am using the correct whatevers... I have been creating visual Traveling Piano pictures with Japanese and Korean words just like I have done for China. The basic words... Dreaming, Fun, Friendship, Respect, Dog, Man, Piano, Truck, Traveling, Music, Empowerment, Inspiration. The biggest dilemma is how to say there is no entertaining, performing or business agenda.
Along with all that writing yesterday I have been posting to social sites. Everything I say should be here on my own website first and foremost but... whatever. Two quotes came to me one after the other and I want to remember them. One was from Confucius... "It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop." Is that me or what???!!! The other from Winnie-the-Pooh... "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." Love it. The ground covered in deep white snow outside that makes it bright inside (where it is comfortable/warm) gives me a feeling of being completely alive! I want to share how little things can be significant... It is known to many that I sold my home and gave up most everything years ago for this journey... kept about 20 small items here at my friends place where I am staying temporarily. One of those items happens to be the cake knife my mom used all my life. She passed, 30 yrs ago. :) It was used for my 1st Birthday cake. About once every two years I make a cake. More icing than cake is most important! I baked a cake today and used the knife. The knife broke. Another "thing" bites the dust. Ha, it will live on... immortalized in a picture on the web.
March 07, 2013
People often suggest that I use Kickstarter or some other fundraising venue to keep going and I have always been cautious and unclear as to why I am resisting. The first feeling that comes to mind is failure because I am still "smarting" from the lack of money raised when I sold my house and ended up getting practically nothing for my belongings years back. But about that... I must be completely honest. I have never really been interested in making money to fund this journey. I have always wanted for people to give and contribute money without my needing to ask... be on the journey "with me" ...give for the sake of giving because it is right and natural... be part of and naturally support. There are people in the world like this just in case you do not know. I'm one of them and people like myself have kept me going. Giving "purely" for the sake of giving is what I have been striving for in every way. Believe me I have no problem in asking for money, there is nothing wrong with that except for my being burnt out from asking and again, that is not part of the journey makeup.
This is a difficult concept for people because have been taught to barter, purchase or have a non-profit exchange of some type. Still, it is all selling is often confused with sharing. Kickstarter is called "Crowd Source Funding" for a good reason. It is all business, the funding of business... kickstarter gets a cut, the fundraising campaign gets a cut, everyone who contributes gets a cut or something. Even peripheral products to the campaigns are offered/sold all along with communicating a feeling, the idea of sharing but it all has strings attached... not that there is anything wrong with that but none of it is simply giving for the sake of giving and that is what I am interested in.
Still, when I see these successful fundraisers... desire wells up and I actually must consciously fend off jealousy. That comes from an illusion that the fundraising success are happening because people care about other interests more than mine. The reality is that if people are going to care about my interests and participate along with me, my interests must be sold to them. I must work to create an emotional expression specifically in terms of money. This is not to be confused with the desire to create awareness. Awareness in of itself does not create anything but awareness. In the old days when people would try to book Raggin' Piano Boogie for an event saying, "you'll get a lot of exposure that will create business for yourself." Ha... never! It is a tool to be worked for business and nothing more. In of itself there is no business or funding to be had from awareness unless your selling along with it.
I understand that giving is an emotional response. So easily I could create a the need for people to give to my journey through the... save the children or help abused pets approach or the... I need help approach. The purity of my personal interest in this journey would become diluted with that type of manipulation... not that there is anything wrong with that, it is just not what I am interested in... although I must keep my options open, ha. Some would question what is wrong with saying I am needy. Needs constantly morph and not projecting future needs (which is so very difficult to do) is one of the fundamental challenges I have embraced for this journey
Never have I seen myself as a jealous person but of course the possibility exists to develop some. The fact is... I tend to want to create an illusion about fundraising success, that it just "happens" and people get lucky. Although I am sure that happens mostly it happens from very hard work and a team of people to get the big numbers. I am also sure it is like winning the lottery. I'll most likely die from spending my life waiting for that to happen.
People say, "do something like Kickstarter to get yourself a new truck... it is like saying. "get a new dog." The Traveling Piano now 27 years old is part of who I am because I have embraced that and made it so. Any classic car enthusiast can easily understand that. Also, fundamentally, this journey is about non-dependence on money. I have made no money to live this journey to date. Money has come to me. (not much but enough that I am still hanging in there) I have used sources to create needed money (my own sources) and I made several unsuccessful attempts at fundraising. It is becoming clearer that the attempts were unsuccessful because money is not my focus and to accomplish whatever goal I set out for takes "all" of my focus. Thats just the way I am. It is what it is.
March 06, 2013
Do not usually quote, but these two hit me today... It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop. -Confucius ...and... People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. -Winnie-the-Pooh. I was up until five in the morning and could not go to sleep because I was enjoying a thick snowfall through soft light in the dark so very much. It is the kind of snow that clings to every branch and twig. I thought, "I may never see this again. This morning, out the window at least three hundred thousand feet of snow! It does not get better.
March 05, 2013
Mo and I left West Virginia today to help scope out a home for my friend Cindy to purchase so it can be used as a home base and I can have some security which is feeling like a priority these days. What happened to the free spirited wanderous wandering... It may continue but I mean come now it has been years of wandering and wandering and wandering. It is easier to wander when you can wander back home. I needs a home feeling. It was sunny and bright, not too cold out. The roads had been recently sprayed for a snow or ice storm which seemed weird because the internet said the weather would be clear and it was. Then an hour into the drive travel advisory signs began to appear. I was like, whats going on here, so I turned on the radio and it said some snow for each of the next three days. It was bright, warmish and sunny but there was no way I can take a chance leaving the truck out in a snow storm for days. We were heading for rural Pennsylvania. Back at where we are staying at least there is a truck cover for the piano cover which is not much but its something. Two hours into the six hour drive I turned around to head back. We stopped at the park and I created music and recorded in the sun until it went down. No snow, no clouds... it is now after twelve in the morning and snowing. I made the correct choice but I am noticeably less "ballsy" these days. It is a must, the truck is twenty seven years old, the wood piano facade is falling apart more and more and the electronic equipment has been enduring extreme states of moisture, dryness, cold and heat for the last few years.
March 04, 2013
West Virginia
The dream to take the Traveling Piano to China is still a dream. I don't actively pursue it very much but it is always very much on my mind. I watched the movie Flight, starring Denzil Washington last night and the memory of it is still lingering. Nailed was everything a moment of acceptance can be. An incredible surge of emotion was created for me at the end. In acceptance there is an all knowing of freedom and what freedom is, a release of all need to care about anything. Must say... having no need to accept anything is also incredible. Ha, also today I found two quotes one after the other that felt good... 1. It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop... Confucius and... 2. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day... Winnie-the-Pooh.
March 03, 2013
In the beginning, as Raggin' Piano Boogie was morphing into the Traveling Piano, there was a... Musical Traveling Piano - Harp Jam in Newtown, Pennsylvania USA with a loverly gaggle of Bedside Harp Angels. That was six years ago!!! ...or seven. Today was too cold to play music outside and I need to record some improvisation for this website, also need to find a home base and also move on with what is to come... whatever that may be.
March 02, 2013
West Virginia
To date I have created forty seven slide shows of this journey. Pictures along with my musical improvisations. To be able to do... and to have accomplished all this this is beyond my wildest dreams. Creating my own music, then pictures, the connecting with people, the travel, the self image and confidence to share it all with the world... almost unbelievable for me. They are on two separate links found in the menu to the left or just click here... Slide Show Videos 01 ...and... Slide Show Videos 02 here. Oh, what FUN!
March 01, 2013
West Virginia
Mo and I went for a walk in the woods and I was really enjoying that along with the water streaming across the earth. Then my mind became distracted from enjoyment as I began to think about self entitlement and related feelings that I was identifying as fear. Damm I hate when that happens. Then anger entered into the feelings in thinking that no persons or company owns the world or anything on it. To think otherwise is pure illusion. No one "owns' water or "access" to it. If society is to provide roads to use and education without cost so it must be, concerning water. If laws for society are necessary then it must made illegal the purchase of water... which is a basic necessity. There is no roads to be had, no education, there can be no healthy functioning society when money comes first... in order to have a drink of clean, fresh water. I have watched the process of water being turned into profit through the years and marketed as I have watched access to water disappear in public as well as private space... unless the exchange of money is made first and foremost. I am seeing people needing to purchase water from shopping center parking lots and from inside stores because their drinking wells are becoming contaminated. People in cities are being forced to purchase it in plastic bottles because government is not caring how disgusting the water is... coming out of home facets. Fresh water accessibility must be without cost... let us all enjoy fresh, clean water as well as access to it. Make it the law! Damm... what a distraction from Musical Fun, Friendship and Respect.