Raggin' Piano Boogie


HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010

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February 28, 2011

I am opening up with some deep thought. There are thoughts I tell myself should not be shared with everyone and then I realized that has no purpose. It is obvious that I am not out to please anyone with myself or this journey and that proven by the fact that I am not looking to get anything from anyone. I am out to share with my world my creative person for the joy of it. I got crazy writing yesterday. There is a realization I want to clarify and put into words... almost impossible. It is an opinion and you know what they say about opinions. Opinions are like... I'll try anyway. As my friend Shafia said, "this is a philosophical point of view that was recently inspired from a personal experience." It might sound too absolute for you but it is absolute only to my experience in the now... now. I might change my mind about it all tomorrow or even decide it is all complete crap... but I don't think so, now. I have discovered for myself that the energy in the basic feeling of relief from something... is the same energy that drives the feeling of gratitude. When I am looking for the feeling of relief, I am looking for the feeling of gratitude. They are one and the same energy.

I was watching the Stanley Kubrick, Steven Spielberg movie Artificial Intelligence. The movie hit a familiar core emotional button for me that I have been trying to identify forever. It has to do with a childhood experience of separation, fear and then reconnection. The feeling I had was both relief and gratitude at the same time. As I was experiencing my emotional button I thought, "you do not like this feeling, you need relief, the feeling is crushing for you, head towards gratitude." Once I embraced gratitude I realized that I just gave the same feeling of want and need (relief) a different identity (gratitude). The energy, the feeling, the emotion did not change. The thought words that gave meaning to the feeling changed. The word relief is simply a word that identifies the idea of a feeling. I use it when I am looking towards a sense of drama. The actual feeling of relief... minus desire, want or need is the same energy feeling as contentment and joy which is gratitude.

Feeling is simply energy. I am letting go of the idea that feelings sometimes are not facts and the idea that feeling something and thinking something is two different experiences. I now have experience that shows me that thinking and feeling are one and the same. I have up until now identified relief and gratitude as separate and that is a simple misunderstanding of how my life works. I do not feel gratitude for contentment and joy. When I am having contentment and joy I am having total bliss for which gratitude is not needed. Gratitude is simply an identity, energy. I can choose either word to identity the same feeling, the same energy. Did you ever try to create the feeling of gratitude? I ask myself, "what is the feeling of gratitude, how can I be sure I am feeling it?" Is gratitude when I am happy, aware of appreciation, simply when I say it is? I can show signs of gratitude and say that I feel grateful and feel good but I cannot identify gratitude unless I am in the actual state of feeling it.

Weather I feel that I want or feel that I want to get... or actually feel the "having" of something... it is all the same energy. I cannot want a feeling that I am not presently in the moment identifying with. I cannot think about anything without feeling it. It has been said ultimately that gratitude is the key for relief. Do I really want relief about, for or with anything? If so with my thoughts... I must know in my mind that relief and gratitude are the same and do something, anything that can be a sign of willingness for myself with gratitude and relief as the goal. This will without question bring relief which is what I want all the time. Solutions are simply an identification issue.

This all reminds me of when I realized that the "life energy" I was identifying as "compulsive and obsessive" is actually the same life energy as "highly spirited and motivated." Same energy... different identification of words and meaning. Back when I crossed the boarder with the Traveling Piano and Bo into Mexico for the first time ever I consciously experienced being in the present moment and the feeling was miraculously wonderful... the moment I sold my house to continue this journey and felt fear... I discovered the energy of "fear" is the same energy as being in the "present moment." Ha, I might as well blurt it all out and be done with it. My biggest realization to date happened at fifty years of age when I realized... I never knew I could continue to live while breathing through my nose only. I always though my mouth had to be open to help. I learned that there is no hell and that this world is heaven, a wonderful illusion to enjoy. Evil does not exist. There is no past, present or future, Einstein proved it I have experienced it. The world will not end and "all" (including me and you) will live on by transforming in an incomprehensible way. Don't hate me. Hey, look at the life (the history in this blog) that has resulted from these thoughts!

February 27, 2011

The day was really nice, the sun was out and so there was no option but for Mo and I to go out too. About three in the afternoon I decided to take a drive to Winchester, Virginia and meet with a new friend named Barbara. Panera Bread was the place to meet. They have internet access which I was going to use when we were finished. I had no idea I would be meeting with such an interesting person. We spent about five hours talking. I only talked for one of those hours because I could not stop asking her questions. Barbara owned a very popular vintage guitar shop in Washington DC, has made a living as an illustrator, rescues cats (she presently has nineteen) and works for FEMA She is one of the workers who often deals with very angry people. I asked her how she could stay with such a job especially since it does not pay that much. She is the type of person who figures it is worth it if she can just help one or two people throughout the course of her career. She was for real! Outside, I did a little Traveling Piano with a few people. The one guy who got onto the piano actually knew Barbara from Washington DC from many years ago. What could be the chance of that happening, the two running into each other in a ten minute space of time outside a Panera in Winchester, Virginia? Wow...

February 26, 2011

It is amazing that I am a creative person. As I continually accept this fact it feels very, very good. I have been writing something. I do not know what form it will take. Maybe it will be a movie script, a novel, comic strip all I know is that flashes and snippets of ideas are coming to me. I will not be afraid. I get very excited when they materialize in my brain. Characters, places, ideas, situations, plot... wow, this is happening to Danny Kean? Last night I watched a movie having absolutely no idea it would be about a guy who writes a book. I learned that I now want to stop writing "down" with my words and to write more with a literary sense. For example, stop using words like "stuff" when relating to things unless I really have a strong reason to do it. Shall I share with you the first line in my whatever and wreak, opps... destroy the surprise? Why not, ok here goes... Once upon a time there was a small boy. Hahaha, that will probably change a hundred times before I make a final decision concerning it. Today I focused on writing about my relationship with Mo on the Life with Mo link which I keep taking off and then putting back on the website. This link is found on the Boner The Dog link.

February 25, 2011

I ain't going anywhere today because the truck is under a double cover to help protect it from the melting snow and rain outside. The travel cover must be replaced before I go out again on the road for any distance. So here I am sitting with my thoughts. Upon waking up every morning when I am not on the road and in a place where I have been alone for a while and some time has passed and my mind is left totally to its own devices, my first thoughts tend to swirl around and with connections to personal inner issues. Along with my journey's mantra... anger always enters my thoughts within the first moments of being awake or without question by the end of the first hour. I'm learning to detach and simply observe this fact. I want to embrace it all so I can set my anger free forever. Ha, forever, really? I'm not sure about that. Anyway, with the exploration of why anger is so strong in my life I thought, "your angry about all the lies that you and other people have been told about life and how to live it successfully." The words I choose revealed a rebellious, adolescent and immature oriented thinking. In getting honest, I know that no one lies. They simply do not understand, are misdirected, unconscious and misinformed. God, I hate people like that! ...which is probably why I hate myself sometimes. Wow, the sun just came out for a minute and through the fog and snow it is awfully bright outside :)

It is now one in the afternoon. The rain stopped, the winds are high even to high to walk, the snow has melted enough... we are heading out of here and into town to do some business, like upload this blog!

February 24, 2011

I am embracing more every day the writing of a movie script and want to share the process of how I have been able to make the decision to do that. Where I am staying has no television or internet and so to not become crazy I signed up with Netflix to get movies in the mail. I really enjoy movies. They satisfy many of my needs in life... such as to zone out or become connected with, feel inspired and basically enjoy creativity. Humor is very important for this journey and I can experience that most with television shows and movies. Also, I thought about getting some Chinese movies to familiarize myself with the culture as I would like to take the Traveling Piano truck there. For the first time I began looking at the Special Features on the DVD's to get my money's worth and to also to waste time. The movie commentaries have turned out not been a waste. I am learning and they have been inspiring me to move onward with this journey... in spite of myself

There are certain possessions that have traveled with me my entire life for reasons of love, care, respect, value and inspiration. They repeatedly come into my consciousness and sometimes I think of them as heavy baggage but just keep moving on with these possessions. One of these "things" I purchased twenty five years ago, it was a book called How to Write a Movie in 21 Days The Inner Movie Method by Viki King. I have come across it every time I move or reorganize my belongings which has been many times throughout the years. So... while giving all my books away last months (all but about twenty) this book came across my path once again. I saved it... once again.

I was watching the movie, "Player" directed by Robert Altman about a Hollywood movie executive. There was a scene where the actor opened the desk drawer in his office and within a blink of an eye I saw the book, my book, it was one of the props in the desk drawer. I thought, "wow, I just saw that book laying around here somewhere." I got up, went into the spare bedroom and there it was sitting on the bed. As I start reading the book it talked about how to write a script which became very interesting to me. Like all these words I am writing now... I must take them down to just three and "show" not talk about. Ha, that will be a challenge!!! Anyway, I was thinking how I would need to get and study a script for its structure. Of all things... I happen to have a script... the Final Shooting Script of "The Usual Suspects." I have often wanted to throw it away for years, it never seemed interesting, I always wondered where it came from and also thought no one would want it but still... I could never toss it. I got up from my chair, went into a drawer and there it was on top. This blows my mind away because... I have very few belongings and the script is one of them? My inner subconscious is working very strongly arranging and working on my life. My job is to go with... and more importantly stay with... the flow. This is what I call "fun."

February 23, 2011

February 22, 2011

West Virginia

Snow has made its way into my life once again. I have been reading about how to write a movie script. Dreams... wow! Mo is being disciplined which means no laying on my lap (that bothers me as much as him) and no smiles, validations and hug breaks from work. (I need all that as much as he does) He peed on the floor. I must take responsibility and that kills me! Our relationship demands that I be in charge at all times and that can be a pain in the ass because I enjoy letting down my guard completely but every time I do he tests me. Damm, damm, damm. Either I stay a responsible top alpha at all times and accept his needs in the relationship... or I deal with his natural instincts to top dog me as in chewing something up, peeing, shitting in the wrong territory or taking a run on his own to somewhere when he is outside off the leash. Consistency is the name of the game for us. It is what it is. The learning will never end and thats ok, I guess. This dog is so handsome, cute responsive and sensitive... it takes all of my strength to stay the course when it comes to saying what I mean and meaning what I say. Staying srong when it comes to boundaries and limits is an absolute necessity. He is worth all my effort. It has been over a month and a half since he had his last accident. I could have been more diligent with taking him outside today. Having him with me demands constant practice with relationship, cannot get lazy. Have you checked the new pictures out on the Boner The Dog link? Anyway, this morning I did not take him out directly after waking up in fact it was about three hours after. I had forgotten and was surprised he had been able to hold it in until I remembered. Then we went out for a run and he did not seem to pee much. We usually go out in the late afternoon but I did not think it was needed because we were out only a few hours before. I was thinking I could wait a while longer. Maybe the problem was we got off the routine? Do I sound potty obsessed? Tomorrow is his first birthday.

February 21, 2011

West Virginia

My friend just called to warn me a half foot of snow is heading in our direction. It is raining now. I was wasting the day but that got me off my butt to run to the park to post this blog and get Mo out for some exercise if possible. So much for the warm sunny days in the forties all the way to seventy last week.

I can't resist posting this hysterical drama from a internet website... A Winter Storm Warning is in effect. A significant winter storm or hazardous winter weather is occurring, imminent, or likely, and is a threat to life and property. Stay vigilant for severe weather. ... all that for a few inches of snow... OH MY GOD, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

February 20, 2011

West Virginia

Surprisingly, I woke up with no sadness, no pain (my body ached a little) no remorse, sense of loss or emptiness. Today is the first anniversary of Piano Dog Boner's death. There was a tiny inclination to create some of the negative I just mentioned because it should be? I thought about forcing myself to revisit the feelings and visual nature of what happened. The thought was so unnatural and unnecessary and obviously not to be. As I write this and think about everything, very easily I could go into some drama for myself. The reality is that my spirit, my intuitable nature became one hundred percent clear as new piano dog Mo jumped up and into the bed to greet me calmly. This present dog is not with me coincidentally. Sometimes I am so afraid to say things because I don't want people to think I'm crazy but for sure it is too late to care about that with this blog considering what I have written in the past! So anyway, I cannot deny the feeling that Piano Dog Mo is in fact also Piano Dog Bo. The way Mo came into my life after being in Glacier Park Montana, when the necessity came about to return east, the feeling to stop in Berkeley Springs West Virginia, the spiritual connection from someone I had never met, (that was the pathway for Mo's entrance into my life) ...my not having named him and... Mo's was born three days after Bo died, his innate knowledge to have jumped into the truck and onto the piano without training and stay on top as a pup and within two weeks of our partnership... but mostly, there was no need for growth in relational intimacy from Bo to Mo. Piano Dog Mo has trusted me from the start as much as Bo trusted me at the end... almost total trust for both.

It occurred to me first thing this morning that there may be a spirit of dog. Something specific in of itself. As I believe we humans are of all one consciousness this may also be true specifically for each animal and living thing. On a deeper level everything is one big mass of connected and intertwined energy. (me included) I think about this fact every time I see the first picture of earth from space. It sits as my computer desktop screen picture. It looks like a completely amazing, wonderfully translucent complex ball of energy. The specifics of God is un-comprehend-able as far as I am concerned and it is not my job to comprehend God. The best I can do is to think, "To be with God is to be with life now and nothing more." Love is the definition of, and equals attraction. It is what makes the world go round. Everything that is the earth, dogs as well as nature, music, friends, a piano and truck help make my world go round. I believe that my work job concerning God is to create fun, friendship and respect in the moment with musical empowerment and inspiration while using spontaneity and synchronicity to create music for people to discover. Personally, my job concerning God is to "enjoy" everything. If I am seeing unenjoyable things... thinking about crap, feeling angry, holding resentments, not enjoy anything and everything I am not being with God. So it is, and it is that way a lot... hahaha! It is what it is. Damm... I just went to pick out three random pictures of Bo and me for todays posting and I lost my cool... the tears, the pain, the loss of love... just for a few minutes. My elderly neighbors invited me over for dinner and a movie... everything is good.

February 19, 2011

West Virginia

Full moon time again. Friends invited me to a music concert in town. I got to the front door and decided not to go in after planning my day around it and traveling the distance. I hope they aren't angry with me. I was feeling insecure. In trying to process what was going on I asked myself questions like, do I need to be the center of attention. The answer was a for sure... no, because when I am doing the Traveling Piano truck thing, the journey is front and center definitely not me. I thought a lot about different resentments playing through my head (not with my friends or the band), I tried to rationalize that fifteen bucks was too much to spend. It is a fact that I have been drifting away from being social in conventional ways which really blows my mind. My comfort zones are without question, changing. Is it an age thing? Am I getting clearer with how I want to relate to life? Bottom line... I was feeling insecure and copped out. I drove off, stopped at the supermarket, purchased a frozen lasagna, drove back to my nest, lit a few candles, curled up into the recliner with Mo on my lap and watched the Pink Panther starring Steve Martin.

February 18, 2011

Hancock, Maryland

I had a million non-Traveling Piano related things to do today but it was warm and sunny... there will not be a million days like today. I want to take every opportunity to enjoy beautiful days with new friends, my dog, music, synchronicity, spontaneity, etc... Winter is about to come back. We were in Hancock, Maryland by the Potomac river. Constantly these days I am making super interesting connections with people way too interesting to not wonder why. I am feeling a desire from the people I meet for a sense of community that does not exist and I am wondering why I feel so strong with desire to help create that. Berkeley Springs is without question a vortex and while here once again in a vortex I remind myself not to fight it but be aware so I don't get too stuck in it for too long. Eureka Springs, Arkansas, Sedona, Arizona, East Glacier, Montana... all vortex areas that I have found myself in. Before this journey began I had no idea what a vortex was and I did not care. I am now positive of their existence from personal experience.

February 17, 2011

Berkeley Springs, West Virginia

I know I can do many things... I have many positive choices and practice with that but still... I seem to have no where-with-all to get through February 20th, the 1st anniversary of Piano Dog Boner's death. I never remember dates of birth, big events or death not even the dates my parents passing but I suppose because Bo's passing was so public it is very ingrained in my head. I want to keep the drama and sadness of loss out of everything and just feel the gratitude. Everything is as it is. What I am most grateful for is to have accepted faith in a world full of provisions from a source greater than just myself... and to have "like" people to live with me throughout life. Also, "now" Piano Dog Mo comes into my picture of gratitude, then nature, then music, then my Journey of Peregrinating Musical Exploration.

I was in the parking lot of a pawn shop today and met this guy in his late sixties driving a 1947 chevy fleetwood in mint condition. He began to talk about his second wife from China who he had met from an online dating service. (the first one, he sent back) Then he went into talking about how Richard Nixon departed on his historic trip to China to open up ties with the country twenty nine years ago today. How weird is this? Read the blog from two days ago!!! His present wife came from the area above Mongolia where I would like to take the Traveling Piano into. He was saying that China does not have a civil rights issues as much as they have inside racist issues. (like who doesn't) The issues surround peasants verses city people. They despise each other and distinguish from the color of skin (peasants have a darker skin because they are outside more working and... the shoes of a peasant are a little bit wider then those who live in the cities. Crazy information today... anyway it hit seventy degrees today and what a pleasure it has been. Unexpectedly I ended up on the street in the center of town and met several accomplished piano players as well as others who tried out a piano for the first time. I could go on and on with stories today but don't want this to go on forever. There was a great quote someone gave me that I forgot, there was a guy from Moscow, there was this really cool American Bully dog...

February 16, 2011

West Virginia

It hit sixty degrees today!!! Woweewowowow. Hahaha... I love the snow but am glad to see it gone. Friends Kathy and Johnny hooked up with me to take a drive. My friend Shafia is celebrating her sixtieth birthday today. I drove John down the road to her house playing Happy Birthday on the piano. We stopped in Berkeley Springs and played on the street for about fifteen minutes beforehand and met new friends. Piano Dog Mo... he's the best! It feels good to be out and about with the Traveling Piano although nothing else in a day gets done when I take the truck out even for a few hours.

February 15, 2011

West Virginia

Two postings for February 15th. If you ask me what is going on I couldn't tell you. I'm losing track of time, days, months, years and the seasons. No harm is coming from the confusion so it is not a problem. I hooked up with new friends John, Kathy and one of their sons fourteen year old Davy to meet with some very special friends. Henry and Margaret a couple ninety years old and married sixty seven years. Gracious, giving and interested people... first, after only five minutes and knowing very little about the journey Henry says, "I want to contribute to your journey." He walks back into the house to write check. I was thinking he was going to contribute like ten or twenty five bucks, especially since they live in such a modest house... it was four times that amount. (stuff like this happens about once every two years) ...instant, spontaneous, mutual giving through trust and love. Wow!!! What interesting people... they both met in bible school in Springfield, Missouri coincidentally where Piano Dog Boner passed last year. He is a guy with a Wesleyan Methodist background and was a Presbyterian minister turned Pentecostal who is also a communist. Until recently he corresponded on a regular basis with the top guy over in China. He was a speech writer for the campaigns of Richard Nixon and George Romney. To meet and connect in such a loving way with always interesting people... I am so grateful!

We rode down a hill with John creating music on the piano and Mo on top to a small lake for some pictures. We were on a bridge and every time a car came by we needed to move. Crazy enough cars constantly came by... deep into and on a back road. Not all of the cars stopped but several did. A dad with his son in bare feet stopped, the mom came down later with her daughter. A woman who had met us somewhere last year turned up. Kathy made friends with her and even ended up going to her house while we were there. Another girl I had met at the park with her mom in October found us. This was soon after Mo came into my life. Her dog died two weeks after we met and as a result of having met us she is getting another dog in two weeks. Once again, we were off the main road in a very rural area. What were the chances of not only meeting new people but two people who had already had experiences with us.

February 15, 2011

West Virginia

Wow, I can't believe this. Somehow I got a day ahead of myself with this blog and it has been that way since February 11th. I thought yesterday was the 14th but today is. Very weird here, I don't know what to do. Anyway, I'll still say what comes to my mind... I can say stuff to myself or read and hear something a million times and it does not sink in. One person can say it under a set of circumstances and bamm, I understand there forever in me. As I write this blog it is so "on the fly" I sometimes feel apprehensive about what people will think because there are times when I am not in a great state of mind or might write something that I change my mind with a half hour later. I was reminded yesterday that anyone who visits me or this website in any way, who might be turned off by what I say and never returns as a result, this may be to my benefit because it helps filter out the undesirable and the kind of thoughts I do want for and in my life. Also, I trust that there are other forces working with, in and through me for my life that are stronger and more influential than what my mind creates in of itself so... I have nothing to worry about. Did you get all that? :)

February 14, 2011

West Virginia

This morning I woke up feeling a little nasty and not in the best of moods but definitely wanting to feel fun, friendship and respect. Right now as I am writing this late at night, I feel a little strange spooked even because between this morning and now I had a super unusual dose of fun, friendship and respect. My friend Shafia had called in the morning and mentioned that the temperature might hit fifty degrees. We can call that a huge heat wave because it has been so cold. Shafia said that seeing its Valentines Day a lot of people would be on the streets in town just in case I wanted to take the Traveling Piano out. That turned me off completely as my mission is for people to find me. I'm not looking to find an audience, or to entertain, or perform or to gift anyone with what I have to offer. That happens but not because I am trying to do it. I use synchronicity and spontaneity to create music for people to discover. I open the path within myself and then the journey takes over. My plans did not include the Traveling Piano truck today but I took it out because the opportunity presented itself. I wanted to go with the flow from yesterdays feelings of the journey taking more active control of my life and... damm the weather was good enough! Mo and I drove to the park. He got out of the truck cab and off leash jumped into the back truck bed and then onto the piano without hesitation. That thrilled me completely. He is used to running around in the area but sat contently with me while I created music for almost an hour. No one showed up which was fine with me. I was specifically playing for the universe. Afterwards I drove to another area to get a good walk going for Mo. Upon returning to the truck we met a woman with her son and dog. I invited the young guy onto the piano and then the fun started. It is difficult to keep this writing short with everything that happened.

A woman named Kathy appeared with her dog Charlie and then coincidentally Kathy's neighbor showed up with her son. Kathy had just left home to take the dog for a walk and had a song playing in her head from her husbands piano playing. This couple start their days off with music together at the piano. Pretty amazing... As Kathy was walking in the park she was hearing piano music in her head and then began to hear my piano music playing out of her head... and then began to get very confused as to what was real and what was not! Eventually she saw the Mo and the Traveling Piano truck from a distance while putting the whole scenario together she realized a guy was actually playing the piano outside in the back of a truck. Kathy's daughter showed up and then her husband John came. John created music as I drove him around the park and Mo, as a champ hung out on top. They invited me back to their house where I met two of their sons. Kathy and John have raised eight children. They create rugs for a business, worked with the Salvation Army for two years through musical outreach shows, and John has written four books with two published. The books amazingly enough, deal directly with how I live my life with this journey. He also does house remodeling. They live their life through "Provision." Did you ever hear of that? They don't work for food or money. They work for believing that God will provide. We talked about money and how having it can be mighty fine; a timely discussion after my thoughts about luxury last night. (wrote about that yesterday) Having been Pentecostal, they now have no religion but follow the bible and go to "House Church." Did you ever hear of that? There are people everywhere that hold church in other peoples houses. I asked their son what he thought about it and he said, "its ok, they have great food!" Everyone brings food each week. Did you know that the Pentecostal movement (religious people speaking in tongues) began in the early nineteen hundreds in San Francisco? This family is most natural, most interesting, most giving, most interested, most sharing... the way they approach music specifically with the piano as an instrument and life... talk about compatible!

February 13, 2011

After deciding to take a ride today, we ended up in Front Royal, Virginia. It is about an hour away from where we are staying. Can we talk frustration? Too cold to create music... nice place, want to return to create music! It is a tourist town as the Skyline Drive across the top of the mountains begins here. Surprise! Can we talk temptation? Want to take the drive down the skyline drive. I really enjoy having no idea where I will end up as did happen today. The gears are beginning to turn in the back of my mind. The road, this journey is calling me big time. I got lost on the way back in a large community full of super impressive multi-million dollar houses in Winchester, Virginia. Money is everywhere I go. When I see it like I did tonight it makes me want to live in luxury. As long as I do not become attached to it, having money should not be a problem. Need to make myself ready, prepare myself for a luxurious lifestyle... ahh, where to start? How does not making any money with this journey and having no income turn into living a luxurious lifestyle?

February 12, 2011

It is not natural to wake up with an alarm clock. This is what I thought this morning when I woke up naturally around 7:30 am. (totally rare) I have used an alarm clock about five times in the last year. This is a fact that I am very, very grateful for and that I do not take for granted yet it is a curse at the same time. I would be able to accomplish so much more if I was to get up early each day. Still... I believe all is as it should be. I fight a little guilt about my time table concerning sleep. I have always been a night person and it is not because I am a musician. Having worked most of my life performing (back before the journey began) on the back of a pickup truck well, you don't get hired for jobs like that late into the night. If I don't get enough sleep I can get sick in a day it has always been that way for me.

February 11, 2011

People tell me I am a good writer. Curiously, I have no real reaction to that other than to say thank you. It is very different from people telling me my music is wonderful, then I feel somewhat nurtured. When people tell me I take good pictures, once again there is something unique about it, a sort of validation os strongest. The writing all I can say is that the talent might be an ability to express myself honestly which has been developing for five years through writing a few minutes everyday. As far as structure, I'm not sure what a preposition is and I basically know that every sentence needs a noun but I don't think about that stuff. I as consciously as possible treat the words the same as I do everything else... "it is what it is". Sometimes after writing the blog and posting it, I leave it all a bit concerned as in, "what did I just say or write, maybe I should have revised it better or read it over a few times" ...naa. What is better? I do go through everything just one time and when I am writing sometimes revise in the moment. For me and this is just for me... seems everything I do is best... as is. When I start working to change something, the working on whatever never ends and I always end up reverting to what I originally did anyway. When I work to change things I just waste time.

February 10, 2011

Thought I'd scare myself with a picture today. While writing a movie idea and visually creating today I realized that I was thinking, "what is do-able and... that can't be done and... how could these thoughts I am having be possible on a movie screen, they can't... and also, financially too much" and then I realized, "damm what am I doing, I am only imagining here, I'm having fun, why am I limiting my dreams especially when I have not a clue to what is possible." My dreams are mine. Don't control your dreams! No person or situation can control them. It would be absolutely wrong for me to limit my imagination! That would be to take God out of my life... or whatever. Why would I do that? Then I remembered being told, "because thinking and imagination can lead to sin and evil, dreaming only leads to the sadness and disappointment of not getting something you hope for." Fuck! Ugly. "Dream on Danny... Imagine, have fun!!!" I've been doing pretty good with this journey considering where I came from, eh?

February 09, 2011

I was watching Al Gore's movie An Inconvenient Truth a few days ago and was introduced to the first picture ever taken of the earth from space. It has been forefront in my mind ever since. Our swirling eclectic ball, a twisting spiraling mass of amazing translucent and dimensional energy; I have been spell bound by it. I also have begun to write a movie/serveral books/calender I have no idea what forms it all will take. Maybe all of it will happen because I have never been someone to do anything on a small scale. Now the trick will be to keep it going and not get derailed from the focus... hahaha, wish me luck. Outside, you know its really, really cold when the dogs pee does not melt the snow! Thats the way it is.

February 08, 2011

I miss being out in the trenches as in working as in being with new people all the time, the truck, travel and the music... also all the nature in the world but I don't miss any other part of it all! Like where am I going to stay, where are my socks, what do I eat when and where, need to wash my clothes, etc... It is so cold right now. I am tired of saying that. Many reasons keep me here in West Virginia right now. Mo is sitting next to me in the truck shivering even though the truck is running with the heat on and he is wearing a sweater. Wish I had internet access back where I'm staying! I've been reading, writing, finding inspiration, creating music, exercising a little, playing with Mo, cooking my meals, making a few friend connections, keeping the house clean, all the peripheral journey stuff like this blog, etc...

February 07, 2011

Weird... At the superbowl party yesterday I knew ninety-eight percent of the people there. Reaching out to make new friends is difficult for me but the actual making of them is easy. Gratitude... I really needed that social experience and felt a little lonely when I thought about going back to the cabin with just Mo and me... where's the friggin' balance? Maybe it is that when I am at the cabin I am working. I don't like to work alone. How do I change that? Being by myself is work! No kidding. Mo was allowed to attend the party and he did a great job. He was on leash at all times. People would take turns in holding him. I took him outside about four times to do his business. I watch him as he observes other dogs and people's social behavior all the time. He is amazingly interested. I love him, we are a perfect match. People used to say, "you are lucky, a dog so special like Boner can come only once in a life time." They were right about that and now I can say the same thing about Mo. How is it that two perfect dogs of the perfect size for the piano have come into my life? Hmmm... anyway, the whole superbowl thing... I just must let it be and allow it to swirl into reality over time.

February 06, 2011

Does anyone reading this blog know that this journey began with the pursuit of my WIldest of Dreams? Twenty-five years ago when I started my career of playing the piano on the back of a pickup truck I woke up one morning from a dream where and I had just finished a streak (clothed) across the superbowl field playing wild boogie woogie piano music on the Traveling Piano for entertainment. It was a dream... it was total fun... the most fun I ever could have imagined. Five years ago when I was burnt out of my work and feeling like a loser, the dream came back to me. I decided to pursue it... for fun. At the time, my life felt like it was ending and so I thought, "why should I care if I make an ass out of myself with other people concerning this idea, they don't care about me now, I don't care about me now, so I need to care about something before I die." Boner, my dog helped to keep me alive. It felt like I had nothing going for me except Bo in life so what did I have to lose? I had absolutely nothing to lose. While I was thinking I looked over to Boner and said, "Bo your getting old and are not going to be around much longer. While your still here lets you and me together enjoy each other and life to the fullest no matter what and while we still can. Lets travel just you and me with total abandonment and "be" together." So the pursuit to manifest in life... "all" my Wildest of Dreams while living in the moment... one day at a time began.

Piano Dog Boner who passed away almost a year ago was not in the superbowl dream because the dream was before his time. The superbowl dream remained alive when the journey began but my active focus became the journey's fun, friendship, respect with musical empowerment and inspiration while using synchronicity and spontaneity to create music for people to discover. One month after Bo died last year the dream came back once again. My camera broke. (everyone must know how important my camera is to this journey with the over 25,000 pictures on this website) ... I was in Dallas, Texas and the only store that said they had my camera was sixty miles from where I was staying. I had to drive to Arlington, Texas to get a new one. The store did not have the camera. Boy was I pissed but... the store coincidentally just happened to be two blocks away from the superbowl stadium. I sat and played the piano for about a half hour outside the front doors until the guard came up and asked me to move back into the parking lot. Can we talk surreal? The next place I stayed was in Limon, Colorado and the young girl who lived there was dating a boy who works setting up the superbowl. The next place I stayed was in Denver Colorado coincidentally with an executive sales director of one of the superbowl sponsors. Ha... on and on. I was going to stay in the area and work the dream as hard as I could but thought, "Dreams are not supposed to be Work!"

February 05, 2011

The book idea and wanting to include and have other people's input... its not going to work. I'm not willing to put the effort out needed to get people's input. Whatever, it feel s a little stupid to put the idea out into the world and then realize blah, blah, blah. It was a short lived experiment. I'd like to settle into a single focus of doing one thing but that does not seem to be my style. Seems I can only do one thing if it consumes me. I have not been able to choose in life to focus on my own. Maybe I'm never looking at the big picture. If I look at the big picture of this journey... I've been totally focused for over five years now.

February 04, 2011

I just took Mo out for a run. There is no way would be getting any exercise if this dog was not in my life. I love to watch him have fun while running. I’m not sure what I am doing here. Well, to be honest yes I do. I am writing a book and creating an anchor with and through friends to help keep my focus. I would like your imput. Read yesterdays post. I have is a desire to connect with other people in order to share, be part of, include, experiment, create, have fun… Book Question 2 of 30… Second Question: Other than Religious Context (see the first post for Religious) Philosophy, Spirituality, Atheist, Agnostic, Jungian, Darwinian and all others.. what textbook phrase or sentence comes to mind first… now, concerning the art of living life.

February 03, 2011

I am thinking about words and ideas for a dog book. Will you collaborate and connect with me, as I want to include you in the process? This will be for a one-month period. To keep it simple; all requests will come from me and you can email me with your input. There is a Contact Link to the left of this page or you can Click This No commercial, organizational or political interest here... and please, no censorship.

I will not be replying to any post so you can say anything you want... brief comments are in order. Every thought has worth so with that in mind I am so very interested in ideas from people who I have never heard from and also from those who might feel they have nothing to offer. My motto: "It Is What It Is".

First Question: Religious context only (I'll be asking for all other in follow-up posts) ...Hindus, Buddust, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Every Religion... what sacred textual book phrase or sentence comes to your mind first... now. This might be your personal favorite, for the world, for another human being, animals (especially dogs) or for the Journey of Peregrinating Musical Exploration.

February 02, 2011

The drama of life is reality. My job is to keep that in perspective. I woke up thinking about pulsing blood from watching the movie Sweeny Todd last night. (one of my all time favorite musicals) It has been rainy and dreary and cold. I switch back and forth from being motivated to finish work, write a book, create... and then I lose the motivation. All that is possible is to mindlessly organize pictures. This is a safety mechanism I use to keep from going to any extreme "bad" place in my head. ... so much for my thoughts on "there is no bad or good"... With no inertia I concentrate on not bringing in pressure, obligation, guilt, shame, etc... I watched the movie Pear Harbor for four hours! All this drama and romanticization of blood and gloom can destroy me. I was thinking... I got to get outta here, do the journey with the Traveling Piano. While watching how the movie was made I was thinking, "I could never do that, (make a movie with all that work) I wouldn't want to do that!" Then I realized that I was thinking in terms of doing it all myself. Hahaha... this is so typical of my mind when it is dis-eased.

The sun came out for the first time that I can remember. A new dawn, a new day a new... what are the words that come next? Feeling ok, I sit in my chair thinking of how I need to cook some food but not feeling like I have the where-with-all. I realized... when I am alone in my head without any outside stimulation, non-connected, non-immersed with work or play or rest... my mind becomes completely vulnerable. Alone with myself and no outside stimulation, going it alone... I have no control of where my mind goes or what it says. When this happens I become uncomfortable. I turn to old illusionary comfort thoughts, patterns and behaviors. Not many of them are useful. In fact, most of them are down right destructive for me. It is very humbling to except that I cannot control my mind at all times, that I do not always have the ability to choose productive thoughts when there is nothing else going on.To accept that fact (having no control sometimes) has been my only solution. This is where the word "connected" comes into play. Connect with what? I sent up a prayer to be "connected" with a higher power greater than myself because I can not go it... or do it (life) alone. I am thankful for the awareness. The awareness is pure grace and well deserved from years of practice and desire. I am thankful, humbled even although it feels uncomfortable, a little bit embarrassing and weak. The next step is to connect with another living person. Naa... Then I started to visualize cooking some food and suddenly the idea was do-able, desirable and natural. I sat down to write this blog and now I'm a gonna go cook some good food to enjoy. My asking for help is simply not wanting to go it alone. When I am not alone I am empowered. Everything depends on trust and with whom I am not alone!

February 01, 2011

There can be a lot of good said for the idea of "same old, same old." In realizing that I have exactly what I want presently in life, I began to explore why. I am thinking about the home I have been staying in. First and most, I created it this place I have been staying in. This has happened between Traveling Piano jaunts. A friend owns it and rarely uses it. The place was a dirty, disgusting, pit. They empowered me to fix it up as I saw fit. That fact in of itself is huge. Empowerment helps to inspire. With a lot of grunt work, a few possessions from my home, (the home I sold to help pay for this journey) problem solving for toilet issues, rodents, mold and funding from my friends bank account along with a little bit of funding from my journey (money that would have been spent on motels and gifts for hosts) ...I have created a really nice environment for myself. The operative word is "created." I made myself a home again for whatever it is worth... for however long I get to enjoy it... for however short periods of time I get to use it. Plus now, my friends have a really nice place to enjoy for themselves. Ahh... to go to sleep and then wake up in the same bed everyday. To throw on my robe with nothing else on and step out the front door to let Mo do his business without neighbors seeing what I look like. To have a clean, orderly and familiar space. (my idea of what that is) To work without distraction. To have food around and not have to think about on road supplies. To sit down and create music when ever I have the whim. To rest in peace and quiet with appreciation of my mom's ornately decorated cookie bin sitting on the kitchen table with fresh cookies inside that I baked the night before. (the bin has been with me for my entire life and was painted by my aunt) To make a cup of coffee and drink it out of the cup my dad used while sitting in my own personal chair. To watch my favorite plants grow day by day. To know where all my comfort needs are and have easy access to them all. (toothpaste and brush, a change of clothes, a candle to light, a movie to watch) Everyday... same old, same old. This is a lot different than living on the road! Both lifestyles are fun in their own ways. Although, the bottom line is that things happen and I could lose this space in the blink of an eye... been there, done that. I have no home that I can truly call mine. This was a choice I made for the journey. Nothing is permanent anyway. The security of having and owning a home is an illusion, not that there's anything wrong with illusions, they serve their purpose at times.