HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010
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January 31, 2009
continued from yesterday, last one... The time line for the Journey of Peregrinating Musical Exploration is all happening from a place where times does not exsist. Everything is being determined through God as I understand, and the universe. The process is really amazing.
Do I create a new Traveling Piano truck, fix up the old one or just continue as I am. it all comes down to... what do I really, really desire and want. To know what I really, really desire and want has been a huge learning process in my life. I feel full of gratitude that I have been given the grace to even "try" to be consciously aware of my own desires and wants. Growing up, my desires and wants always came from the "minds eye" of others. I was never taught to explore my own "minds eye" in fact I was taught not to look there, not to trust myself, to trust only the experts. (the "minds eyes" of others) I have been building, exploring, making my way, a path to my personal life experience with my significantly individual, spiritual "minds eye" little by little and step by step for a long time now.
The truck... I have realized that I want to continue using my present truck because I love it, I know it, we have a history together. On the other hand I want a new truck because my dream has always been to move the Raggin' Piano Boogie (now also Traveling Piano) entertainment property to the next level. This can be accomplished with a new setup no matter how small or large the next level turns out to be. No person or commercial business is going to lift me to the next level. It has not happened for over twenty years so... It seems that I see people being picked up all the time and moved to the next level of whatever in their lives but this has not been the case so far with me concerning my career. I have given way too much thought as to why it has not happened or why I have not allowed it and how to create or attract someone in my life to serve the purpose etc...
The bottom line is that there is a seed that has been sitting in my head and it has sat there for my entire career. Part of me wishes it did not exist, another part says it is my destiny. The seed says, "in the end you will need to invest everything you have concerning your money and security in order to create the success that you want and desire." Where did that thought come from, who put that thought into my mind???!!! Damm.... ugh. Do it. A new truck setup is practical, I deserve it, I want to present in my world the best that I can create, not just work with what I have to work with... I want to present simply... the best I can create.
January 30, 2009
continued from yesterday... So, now I am present with the Journey of Peregrinating Musical Exploration. I moved out of my home the day the Olympics in China began. It is clear that I was not meant to be in China at that time. (another story) Since I left my home I took the Traveling Piano overflowing with personal possessions to Canada to contribute for a good cause. Wow, was that a wonderful time! A little over two months later I returned from Newfoundland. I was given by the Canadian people clarification over an issue that has plagued me with frustration since I stopped performance for fees. The issue was about tipping the piano man and donating verses contribution. "Tipping the piano man" a few bucks is like giving the monkey a peanut. (that says it clear for me from every perspective) Donating is an exchange that happens on a level of satisfying a need or neediness. The Canadian people contributed to my journey. It came from their hearts. They clearly exemplified contribution through validation, support and a sense of joining me in being part of the journey spiritually, physically, financially and emotionally.
People now are asking when this... when that... what am I doing... where am I presently... where am I going next... I discover the answers for myself daily and write them in this blog. I have not given up on any of my dreams, they are all happening, I can feel it. This present life of mine began with the desire to move the entertainment property Raggin' Piano Boogie (in the commercial sense) and the Traveling Piano (in the non-commercial sense) to the next level. My dream is to have fun, experience joy and abundance on every level possible, have the world meet Bo, share our partnership with the world while he is still around, head for the Superbowl with Oprah's involvement, Hollywood, Alaska, China and the world with the Traveling Piano truck to create fun, friendship, respect and to musically empower and inspire... So this is clear what I want and it is all in the mix of my life and ever present. continued to the 31st...
January 29, 2009
continued from yesterday...The Virginia Tech leg of this journey gave me all the faith needed in order to continue. I got real with the fact that I was building a lot of debt and not getting very much financial support. It is important to insert here that the people who have supported this journey, they have validated me with the courage to continue. I am very grateful for them. I thought, "when you leave for China it will be for a long time, you need to do something about your house, so sell it". The house had flooded while I was in Virginia Tech. Remember the floods of 06' on the east coast? I could not be leaving for a length of time and still keep it anyway. My debt had to be cleared, it was time to become responsible and have a clean slate while moving forward. My house was security and my possessions were full of love and memories. I made the decision to let go of everything with respect and fun. I wanted to bring value for the journey from it all. The house was sold for a two thirds of its worth. I created www.bonerthedog.com to garner contribution. It was to be a fundraising non-profit venture to liquidate the house contents. There was a house yard fundraiser for months with the house contents outside all around the house. I never before worked so hard in my life. The rain and heavy sun, the wind was horrendous day in and out. It all added to my letting go process. I worked out my emotional feeling physically by running around everyday covering and uncovering tables, three hours every morning and three hours every night.
The Traveling Piano was in my backyard everyday for neighbors and visitors to enjoy. The newspaper came, the television media came... Listings were created for online communities to promote and garner volunteer support, flyers were distributed. After that there was a huge fundraising weekend in a local church yard and parking lot up where my new home base is. In the end I held a going away weekend fundraiser. It took a year to let go of the security I had known and most of my material possessions. As far as fundraising, well that did not pan out very well. In fact in all total the journey raised about twelve thousand dollars out of what was worth a good hundred and fifty thousand. And that money paid the bills throughout the year? I ended up giving away seventy-five percent of what I owned. I realize everything was about the process. Thank God I had the ability to let go of everything in the best possible light. I was able to allow support in my life and I did everythingl in a way that I could cope with and in a way that allowed me to physically express my love and gratitude. All the while I continued working daily with the Traveling Piano. continued to the 30th...
January 28, 2009
continued from yesterday... I made it to Mexico, not Hollywood. Something better happened. Backtrack... on the second night of my journey I ended up in Blacksburg Virginia where Virginia Tech is located. The only group I connected with down in Katrina was a group from Virginia Tech. I stopped by to play on the student plaza and say hi. Two months later, one day from my goal of Hollywood... Virginia Tech's tragedy happened. (there is much more detail to tell but I will spare you) The student union called me and asked for some Traveling Piano support. On the way back East I thought, "I did not get to Hollywood for the world to meet Boner ...or to relax and record some music in Brcye or Zion National Park, something I was really looking forward to, I wanted to take some personal time for myself.
As I was driving back east I was thinking about a conversation I had with the last person I had stayed with. They had just returned from China and told me that now is the safest time in history to go there because the country wants so much for everyone to feel safe for the Olympics. Then I thought, "If I take Boner to the Olympics the world will surely meet him"! Then a thought... that has been in my head off and on for the last twenty years pushed through to full consciousness. "The people in China would love your musical energy more than anywhere else." I have really thought this many times.
continued to the 29th...
January 27, 2009
continued from yesterday... I said to myself, "You would never do anything like this, travel such a distance alone, so while you still have Boner continue the joy as you did with Katrina. With the time you have, create as much fun as possible with Boner and share with the world your partnership." I decided we would travel in Mexico and then I would take Boner to Hollywood to have the world meet him and also to share the desire for my Super Bowl Wildest of Dreams and blow both ideas out into the world big time." (visa was the temporary financial passport) Then I thought, "You can't just drive across country on a lark there must be purpose. Visit communities where musicians rarely visit because there is nothing in it for them. Play for people who never get to see a piano man. Offer the opportunity for people to have a Traveling Piano experience, especially if they never tried a piano before... invite everyone to play on a piano outdoors on the back of a pickup truck with an incredibly wonderful dog on top. Give to them the feel of it all. Keep it free from any commercial, political or organizational agenda to help support intimacy and trust. Just go for it... fun, friendship and respect!
continued to the 28th...
January 26, 2009
continued from yesterday... With the success the Tour of Synchronistic Wonder, I thought... "what's next!" With Boner in his older years, me too... and Raggin' Piano Boogie almost burnt out in my mind, I thought... "I want the world to meet Bo before he retires, I need to move forward with the Super Bowl dream, I want to continue to include people, I'd like to keep traveling." I rarely traveled with Raggin' Piano Boogie as I was booked with local return engagements through the years for most of my career.
I always had a fun visual in my head of playing piano for an Eskimo village on an iceberg in Alaska. (see the animation in the menu on this website) I was thinking about driving across country to Alaska and then a friend of mine named Cory (who's home is in Canada) from the Action Hero Network... a guy I met down in Louisiana contacted me with the suggestion that I visit him and his crew to share what I have to offer down in a little fishing village called Roblito on the West Central coast of Mexico; a village Cory sort of adopted for several weeks every year to create a sense of world community.
continued to the 27th...
January 25, 2009
continued from yesterday... Discovering my own music resulted from allowing my spirit to fly high! Support from well wisher's gave me a sense of audacity to continue on my path. I gained enough courage with practically no money to share my music and spirit, Boner's love and joy plus the Traveling Piano with people down South in Mississippi and Louisiana after hurricane Katrina. Except for a Mardi Gras parade that I had booked, I had no idea where I would go or stay from day to day, or how I would accomplish my goals. continued to the 26th...
January 24, 2009
I would like to review my agenda. I was turning 50 three years ago, and I was completely burnt out. Around this time I became inspired to enjoy the rest of my life before it became too late. I decided to pursue my Wildest of Dreams. I had a specific dream that came to mind that was completely, uniquely mine and real! I dreamed I saw myself (clothed), streaking for fun across the Super Bowl field with a wildly screaming stadium full of people as part of the games festivities. I decided to let go of fear and repression and my strict measures of appropriateness to accept my desires and embrace them no matter what others may think. From the beginning of the process I began to pursue and allow other people into my life to be part of, and share the dream with me. continued to the 25th...
January 23, 2009
Fairless Hills, Pennsylvania
I did not know that it could get better than having my piano to create music, the truck and my best canine buddy hanging with me on a sunny day by a lake. Today it got even better. My niece's son Shane who just turned four years old joined Boner on top of the piano and all three of us had a time of it.
Shane tried on my hat and sunglasses while he improvised some music. We played piano together for a good amount of time. We took a long walk around the lake, Shane walked Bo and we all sat in the sun together. I gave this tot my camera and he explored his newly found picture taking talent. She shot the picture posted today that looks like it was taken three feet from the ground :)
I ended the tonight with a spontaneous Traveling Piano appearance for the Fairless Hills Village Park Elementary School Inaugural Ball. About 350 parents with children, a senator and the local new station came to have some fun and celebrate the American political process. Boner and I hung out at the entrance and set the atmosphere.
January 22, 2009
Off to Pennsylvania today with a bright sun but still cold. The truck chugged for the first half hour but after that there were no problems. I am still adjusting to the gas tank costing half as much to fill as it did a few months ago. The last family that I have stayed with... I want to mention that I had contacted them only a few days before I was to arrive in Washington and when I did arrive it was hours after they had just got home from vacation. This is a family that values people and relationships. Bob told me they did not want to pass up the opportunity for me to contribute whatever energy I might be able to add to their home and lives. I've said it before, this is the kind of people I have sensed even as a child that I would want to be with for my entire life. I am staying for the first time ever with family tonight. Tomorrow it is supposed to be warmer, in the forties so I hope to get out to create some music.
January 21, 2009
Silver Spring, Maryland
Today was majorly out of sorts for me. I went for a long walk with Bo to handle that. Not having access to the internet is a problem to solve. So is playing music in cold weather with the Traveling Piano. The constant readjusting of my life with no specific anchor is a major challenge. Posting my daily blog can be an anchor. Creating music daily can be an anchor, a long walk everyday or anything consistent like meditating etc... What is my present anchor? Daa... I don't know. I am very, very grateful that I have been meeting and staying with people who give me a lot of space to think and figure out my life. My present hosts, what a wonderful family. I have been meeting fantastic families who demand nothing of me. They do their life go to work do activities and have created an environment for me with absolutely no restrictions. We connect when we can to talk, have dinner together. The relating with other people part in this journey is the foundation for my joy. This has been the first Jewish family I have stayed with (I'm pretty sure) and who knew?... people who are Jewish say grace (a blessing) before meals? :) With all the Jewish friends I have had through the years this has never happened outside of a holiday. Miriam and Hannah, two daughters in their teens, wow what beauty and they play guitar, tuba, trombone, piano, their parents are very much into contra folk dancing. Bob has been a life long school teacher and is also a well traveled biker,Tali his wife, a nurse, both my age, (Tali could pass for being in her thirties) they both grew up together in this community.
January 20, 2009
Washington, District of Columbia
My alarm went off at 6AM, and then every 15 minutes after until my host Bob yelled down, "Good Morning". He needed to get his bike out of the room as the family was heading for the inauguration. I tried desperately to decide what to do, how, when... to feel my way etc... I had concern about leaving Boner in the truck... what am I doing here!!! Everyone left the house, I had breakfast and then turned on the television to watch what was happening. I just want to "be." I am glad to be here in Washington on this historic day. My intent is to personally support the energy of change. The temperature is in the twenties. As far as the Traveling Piano I just wanted to put myself "out there" and take hold of opportunity if it comes about. I did a lot of soul searching as to my motives. Was I looking for attention, did I want a piece of the action, be part of? It was difficult to trust my true intent which was simply to support and be.
While driving to the white house without a problem I snuck in between two embassy limousines and pretended I was part of an entourage. We traversed prohibited streets until I found a parking spot and then I began to walk. Boner was the only dog I saw at the event for the entire day. We walked towards the parade against a tide of ten's of thousands of people walking away from the swearing in ceremony. I thought, "I'm not really interested in watching the parade, did that done that hundreds of times in my career." I decided to just call it a day and headed on out of town. That was not meant to be. On the way out I caught the eye of two students who had just been turned down for ride and asked if they wanted one. That turned into them playing the on the piano as I drove down the street which turned the Traveling Piano into a free musical taxi service where people would jump on and off, we would stop at street corners, it went on for quite a while. Probably a hundred pictures were taken from my camera with dead batteries in it. Ouch. People were saying things like, "you made this the happiest day." I was just so happy I had the opportunity to utilize the Traveling Piano for the Presidential Inauguration without having had a setup or plan!
January 19, 2009
Chevy Chase, Maryland
After six hours sleep, this mornings alarm went off to wake me up at 7am. It is almost impossible for me to get up this early but I needed to get outside to my truck before the meter maid ladies got to it. I want to get to bed before 3am and out of bed as early as possible. This morning I tried to guilt myself, manipulate, threaten... "how much do you want to live this journey" ...I reset the alarm to 7:30am and then I got up and hit the road.
While driving, it snowed. On the highway there was more salt from salt trucks flying all over the place than snow. Once I arrived, I just wanted to play music but it was on and off snow showers all day. I have been noticing that there are a lot more people taking pictures of me and the truck while driving on the road. I took the "Driving to China" and "Need Support" signs off the piano. This was a big move. They have been on there for a year. I took off one side and a few hours later took off the other side. I am not letting go of the China dream. The signs just do not feel appropriate for the present time period that I am going through.
I am right next to Silver Springs Maryland. Funny how I never thought of Maryland having any cities other than Baltimore. I drove down to the White House in Washington to scope out the area for tomorrow. I'm having a good time, I must say it out loud because it is true. It is also true that angry feelings keep emerging from stupid stuff like not being able to iron out little issues like... getting on the internet and the fact that sometimes I don't want to be the one to make my own choices and decisions because I don't want to be responsible for the outcomes if I screw them up. I want to remember that this is all an experiment and to be playful with it all, this I want to remember, this is the goal. Have fun. The highlight of my day was to meet my new hosts family Bob, Tali and their beautiful daughters Miriam and Hannah. Wow... how amazingly trustful to completely open their home to both Boner and I having never met us before. When we arrived they all had to run to pre-scheduled appointments so they left us settle in at our own pace. Thank god for people like this. People who will share their lives, homes, families... with a stranger for the purpose of understanding people in general, better.
January 18, 2009
The Traveling Piano is sitting on a Philadelphia city street over a snowy night. I need to have it close to me and I did not want to pay the expense of an overnight garage. I am staying overnight in a high rise condominium and could feel the journey kicking in all day. Wish I had internet access, everyone is afraid to share their lines and I do not know the password for my friends system. I really hate to disrupt my daily website uploads. I met a 19 year old guy who is working the building reception desk and offered for him to jump up on the piano when he was done working. 11PM at night I get a call, "I'm off work and ready." The truck had a half inch of snow on the cover but I did not care. The opportunity to "do my thing" I was not going to pass up. He played on the street while waiting for his dad to pick him up and he was an amazingly good pianist. The piano sounded really nice at night in the snow on a street lit city street. I'm hoping someone doesn't think to lift the tarp off the truck to sleep under it tonight or anything else... I am not exaggerating while in the building lobby and on the street today Boner has attracted no less than 50 people and it would have been more if I had had the time to stop for everyone to say hello. People are drawn to him from across the streets!
January 17, 2009
Man, fun does not come easy when your not having it or maybe I am but not focusing on it enough to feel it. Thats ok, I flew the coop again today. I am in center city Philadelphia staying at a friends place who happens to be away from home on a cruise. Feelings are weird I do not know what to feel. I feel fat. Ha, it is true. I used to complain that I never had anyone I could stay with. Guess I was wrong. I am at Ed's house, I just came from Charlie's, I can go to my nieces for a few days, my friend Cindy's (cat allergies) ...I am to meet two new friends in Maryland on Monday. I had a meeting with my "pimp the piano" man and we added another member to the team. Looks like I just may go for broke and pimp the entire Traveling Piano. I have the best designer and he has the best people to help him. It was not easy to leave the farm. I get so entrenched. I had to put the piano and stuffings back into the truck which was SUCH a pain in the ass but I did it and I am happy because now I can get back to work with music if... the temperature goes up from the single digits which I hope it does soon. I was afraid to bend a wire thinking it might break from being frozen. It was eight degrees outside when I woke up this morning. In the house where I am staying it was eighty eight degrees. My friend Charlie put in a new huge wood burning stove! It heats all of his house and water and cooks his food.
January 16, 2009
Life is in such a flux. I choose this life style that I am presently living because it helps me to stay in the present moment. In the present moment is where I experience the joy of life... for real! The real-ist-est truth is that living this way is forcing me to live in the moment. It forces me to use my survival skills of faith and trust. It has worked so far. I am choosing to force myself into my Wildest of Dreams. Hahahaha.... With the decision to "pimp my piano" (buy a new one, fix it up for travel) I must constantly remind myself that everything is good, safe and ok. I sold my house to have the money to do this, I have the money, this is what it is for, I'm carrying through with the plan, walking the walk, nothing is wrong, enjoy... enjoy... enjoy. I have been steadfastly stepping into life deeper and deeper. It was one thing to sell my house and leave it and all the furniture etc... now to let go of the financial security from selling the house..... ahhhhh.... yikesssss. Pimped piano...pimped piano... pimped piano. My truck is getting used to sitting outside in zero degree weather. It probably misses the old warm garage it lived in for 20 years. I miss it but only a little. The pictures for today's post are from Bell Island, Newfoundland in October with a bunch of kids from the local school band.
January 15, 2009
Laurel Springs, New Jersey
Today I drove to visit my friend Cindy and her family and also to get ANOTHER cell phone service. I did not take the Traveling Piano truck because I do not trust that it will work. I am saving its use for Washington. On the way home at 12:30AM I drove by the house I used to own saying to myself, "Why are you doing this to yourself!" Boner is growing old as such a gentleman. He has been taking care of himself very well, communicating his needs, boundaries and limits. Handling other high energy dogs within confined areas he just cannot deal with. Taking walks at night he will refuse because he cannot see or hear my commands. We do not use a leash. I may in the future if I can feel out he is more comfortable with one. His appreciation and care is still being communicated stronger and stronger everyday. There is a contentment and acceptance in just "being" for him. I can sense this and also that he would like to be playing around with me more so. Guess I need to work on that.
January 14, 2009
New York City
Ended up in New York City today with the Traveling Piano truck. I have decided to have my buddy Brad Pressman, Pimp My Piano. Brad is a brilliant architect, designer, and creative long time Raggin' Piano Boogie friend. I'm building a new setup that can be taken out of this present truck and put into another truck if ever need be. After this task is finished I will be looking for a "Pimp My Truck" makeover.
January 13, 2009
I sat down to practice the Carolina Shout piano transcription by James P Johnson, a great original Stride piano player. The Stride piano popular time period came about sort of between the pure Ragtime and Boogie Woogie eras. The style can be fast, jumpy and tricky stuff to play. I had performed this piece in the old days but never really felt comfortable with it in my hands the way I am with pieces such as the Maple Leaf Rag from Scott Joplin. I decided to change that and with my trusty metronome starting at 62 beats whatever... and moved up faster and faster, one notch at a time. At first it took patience with myself and tolerance that this way of learning... the same as when I first began... I still feel a need to do. (not that there is any better way or it is any different for anyone else) It took exactly one hour to bring the music up to a speed of 162 beats. I played about four lines of music over and over and over. (the whole piece is about thirty lines) In the end I was amazed that I did it. As the speed went up I had to keep reminding myself to loosen my ass muscles. I tend to want to hold energy inside myself physically as it builds. I can get really stuffed up and sick from doing that. I can get so tense my body just breaks down from too much tension. As I kept control over the notes the practice became a balancing act to keep control while loosening up at the same time to let go faster. From beginning to start I kept reminding myself to stay involved, stay interested in what I was doing. I had to think! Ha... When I improvise, "feeling" is front and center as I am thinking in the background about what I am doing or whatever thoughts are creating the present feeling. Today's kind of practice was the other way around. Also, I was reminding myself to have fun, that I would only learn and improve if I was enjoying it like play, as in PLAY THE PIANO.
January 12, 2009
This morning a dream woke me up. It was about my old house. I have specific cycles in my life. It takes two days after serious intense physical labor or exercise to catch up to reality and for my body to feel it. After a significant lost or change in my life it takes six to eight months for my brain to begin to realize it fully. In the dream I had just come home from a Traveling Piano venture and had fallen asleep in my recreation room on the floor. (weird) Then the next morning I heard knocks on my front door and wanted to ignore them but they would not go away. (in my dream minds eye this was probably a utility company that still after all this time has not cleared my billing status from when I owned my home) When I thought it was safe I got up and went into the living room with Bo and saw there were people still standing in the driveway. I laid down on the floor amidst the furniture in my living room a bit disturbed and then the guys came up to the window while looking in to see if they could find anyone. I took comfort in holding Bo while wondering what they wanted. Then I thought, maybe they are workers wanting to get into the house to work on it ...and then I remembered that I had sold the house "what are you doing here in this house you do not own" I asked myself, "what is the furniture doing here your outta here its all gone its over" ...and then I woke up :) As I sat with my morning coffee I read a quote that I really agree with as I let go of the concept of past, present and future now in my life. "There are only as many days in the year as you make use of."
January 11, 2009
It snowed and barley covered the ground. Damm! I want to get some snow covered pictures of this area before I leave. In the house practicing today I reverted back to my childhood. Even my friend Charlie commented, "you sound like one of my students practicing." (he has been a piano teacher) I sat with the metronome to keep slow... tick...tick...tick...tick... reaaaalllllll slow using my old falling apart sheet music. I would like to keep at least a few of the Ragtime and Boogie pieces in my hands. I cannot even remember how to play eighty percent of my old repertoire and the hand muscles are weak! My performance is sloppy. When I slow any piece down I have no idea what I am doing. I play my old stuff by rote with no thought, only feeling. If I try to think about what notes I am actually playing or what is coming next... clueless, it is like I new saw the sheet music in my life and the notes I am playing are for the first time. I think this is crazy but it is what it is.
January 10, 2009
I'm feeling like a full moon today, yes I have always been affected by the moon there is a tendency to shut down because I tend to vibrate without the ability to control my mind, body and spirit. Hahaha... something like that. It is true that I am "different" when the moon is full. It is a coincidence that I had planned to post my picture of a full moon for today. This was an actual photo taken from the highway while driving in St. John's Newfoundland at the end of November. It was so amazingly big and beautiful! The white dots are the city lights in the background. I just zoomed with my regular camera and photoshoped it a bit.
January 9, 2009
The computer busted. I had to deal with it today. I started out meditating for a few minutes with my morning coffee. I thought about feeling good with the fact that I have the funds to buy a new one along with a new piano setup, truck etc... After all, this is why I let go of my home... to have the funding... even if it means I will have no financial security as a result. Hell, I have never had financial security and I am in my fifties, I've done ok with my life up to this point in paying for my life, a house and several cars, never paid a bill late in my life... all with zero financial security. I have spent useless time during many a life's period with worry and what a waste that was. I have no reason to worry and every reason to have faith. The proof is in my past history, the record. I turned the days events over to living in the moment and taking what comes, however that may be. At the store I found out the computer needed a new battery and it was replaced without cost after waiting only ten minutes without an appointment in a store where the sign said it would be a three hour wait just to talk with someone.
January 8, 2009
My goal... to have fun... have everyone meet Bo before he retires from the Traveling Piano, share our partnership and what we have to offer together with the world. I realized today that while I am not out playing on the Traveling Piano truck these days, the goal is still being accomplished. I have begun to connect with online communities like facebook, utube, flicker... and friendships are happening, a significant amount of people are learning about us from all over the world, the goal is being accomplished and I'm having fun doing it. Sometimes I am not conscious of what I am doing and thoughts that I might be off track or just at a dead end start... then I am saved with a graceful thought of reality. The goal is being achieved in a different way these days. I don't need to care how it happens as long as it happens. I have no reason not to be constantly thrilled and I want to develop this kind of thought process daily.
January 7, 2009
These pictures are from October in a town named Sackville in New Brunswick Canada which is near Nova Scotia, south of Newfoundland I'm trying to find something to write :) Well I went out to look for a new Traveling Piano truck and I wanted to get another Toyota because my present one has been so amazing for twenty one years. Problem... Toyota no longer makes seven foot truck beds and the new ones are not long enough. I need space between me and the speaker in the back and room to move around a little, room also for storage. Another issue is the truck needs to be low to the ground so that people can reach Bo to pet and say hello to him from the ground. This knocks out most American trucks. I've thought of solutions like creating a plank for people to stand on but hey, I need to keep things simple. Also, my present small truck has been able to squeeze into some mighty small spots.
January 6, 2009
It is difficult to explain how I see my life I suppose I'll get better as I write? I've no clear clarity as to where I am going with the Traveling Piano but I knew today I wanted to move forward as much as possible and to consciously enjoy life. I've been getting a few hours of work done a day and the rest I spend in la la land so it feels. Lala land could be better enjoyed. Sitting in a theatre with no one in attendance or practically no one, and to get lost in a movie is one of the ways I can take care of myself. I've been trying to do it for weeks and have been craving it for a year! The last movie I saw was a year ago. Two weeks ago there was a special movie that I was willing to drive a couple hours to see before it left all the theaters but I just could not get the oomph to do it. Wasn't feeling good, too lazy, stuff to do, etc...
This morning I was able to sit myself in a chair and"just be with myself" for a few minutes just long enough to say, "your going to the movies today, it is a priority for you to enjoy your life." This was a decision. Online, I checked out what was playing, the nearest theatre I knew was thirty-five minutes away. The movie that I had wanted to see (I didn't even remember) popped up on my computer screen showing in its last few days and it was playing twenty minutes away in a small theatre that I did not even know existed! How did I miss that two weeks ago? Bottom line... I know in my heart that as soon as I made the decision that I was going to take care of myself and enjoy my day... this is when what I wanted came right to me. Almost up to the end before I left there was resistance... "its dark, getting late, too much effort, it is icing outside, the roads are too dangerous" ...just like every other time, thoughts to sabotage the opportunity to love and have what I want. I drove anyway without any problems thinking, "how perfect... the night was so miserable and dangerous the theatre will be empty." It was... perfect.
January 5, 2009
January 4, 2009
Boner and I had a major fun time in New York City during August playing on the streets, sharing the piano, doing crazy things throughout the day and night. You can read all about it in the archives if you can find the month, ha. My job today is to feel good. I really don't have anything more to say for today except... get a new Traveling Piano and Setup and get out there Danny!!!
January 3, 2009
Working to be conscious not to create a distraction out of Boner's age is not easy as in, "I can't do this, I can't do that, he can't handle it, I can't handle it." There is the reality of his being fourteen years old and what is involved in my stewardship concerning his comfort and quality of life, the longevity of our partnership, fun together etc... and then there are the illusions I can create from negative projection, lack of desire or laziness, the fearful ideas of others, etc... Bottom line, I want to continue to share what we have to offer as a team with the Traveling Piano and I will just keep working as much as I can to strive for and create a balance of happiness for both of us.
January 2, 2009
I ask myself what do I want for my life? Part of me wants to go to a place like the South of New Zealand and just enjoy nature, live carefree without hassle and real simple like. In reality I know I can live that life in the present moment here and now. Also, I enjoy interacting with people. I want relationship with as much as life will afford which means more than just the flowers and the trees and the bees :) The "fast life" city folk, the entertainment mediums, feelings of luxury (not that I've had that much) still hold interest within me as much as nature and the rural life. Being involved with life is the goal and I forget that so easily. It's crazy. Music, sharing what I have to offer... when I am not doing it... I easily fall down and into the wrong rabbit hole. And then I ask myself questions like... why do I have to share to be happy? Yikes. To share is just another word for being involved, to interact with life... it is a natural desire of mine that does not come naturally for me unless I am doing it.
January 1, 2009
I'm trying to figure out what to say or do with this blog!!! I've been under the weather but getting better. The truck and equipment needs to be replaced. I want this all to be easy but my mind is traumatizing myself... or should I say dramatizing myself over the idea of creating everything all over again while not moving to a higher level most specifically in not working with othersl. Alas, it is what it is. I think about my priorities and move forward with all the effor that I can muster. I gotta get outta where I am! For one reason... piano, music, fun, miracles, respect, empowerment, inspiration, Boner, travel, people, exploration, life, education, adventure, gifting, spontaneity, friendship, well... maybe for more than one reason. I was playing music for this cow in Canada in October on a diary farm in Memramcook, New Brunswick so I took his picture. She was like, what the....