Raggin' Piano Boogie
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Since 1987 |
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August 11, 2026Las Vegas, NevadaThe idea I gave myself in having "a measure of success" with everything in my life and never a total success is just nothing more than perspective. When I dissect everything and especially compare it to others yes, I always achieve nothing more than a measure of success This is how life can feel for me. I've had a measure of success with everything I've done. But, if I look at the whole picture, my entire life, what I have accomplished and my individual process of manifestation and creativity... it has been a total success. It has been totally unique in a way. When I compare it to others it is nothing of worth. Especially when I see what other artists in every genre have accomplished. But I also know they did that along with many, many others along the way. Connecting with others to work with them, I've not had very much success long term. But... maybe that is just not my life or meant to be for my life. Does my life need to work the way other people's lives work? Must I be successful in the ways I see in others? Not really. |
August 10, 2026Las Vegas, NevadaI worked with small step goals concerning the Traveling Piano Art Gallery this time around. In knowing the situation might not work out I set them up as simple as possible. I first wanted to use the space I was given in order to file every photo piece I had, know how many photos of each image I had and how many were framed. The second step was to create panels for the display wall and fill them with photos and to create separate files to be able to find and sell the photos quickly. The photos filed and placed were separated into color, types, textures, perspectives, the good ones verses the ones not printed very well and the photos to be displayed in store verses online. They were placed with creative thought on about twenty large art frames with fifteen to twenty photos on each frame. Two large informational frames were created to explain everything about the Traveling Piano as the centerpiece. All frames were strategically placed on a wall. Product was stored in labeled cases and boxes. I had banners for outside and large sidewalk signs I had accumulated over the years. |
August 9, 2026Las Vegas, NevadaI want to call the last attempt at a Traveling Piano Photo Gallery, the final setup and I left it all behind. But now, I am having second thoughts about just having just walked away from everything not that I want to create another gallery. It is just that I have in a sense thrown away all the work. I left it all behind at the end of last month because the person giving me the space to use, although I knew I was dealing with addiction and major dysfunction, I wanted to trust that I could make it work out and also hopefully be helpful and be nurturing with a friendship in the process. Well, it became so toxic that I just had to leave it all... again. It did not work out the first time several years ago. I knew better but tried again anyway. My attempt came from neediness no matter how I tried to rationalize in ways. Working with someone in active addiction never, and I mean never... works out. I take total responsibility. Now, everything is just sitting in the store to be thrown away as I just can no longer deal with storing and working with it all. It has been almost ten years I've been trying to create success with a working and functional gallery. I've had a measure of success several times. That feels like my life. I've had "a measure" of success with everything I've done. |
August 8, 2026Las Vegas, NevadaContinuing this journey into the future, my work with the Traveling Piano, I'm pretty sure I can make it to the 40th anniverasry which would be 2027 but to continue in any satisfactory way for myself I need to begin making money again. I need to feel worthwhile from what makes me feel worthwhile. I need the tools I need to work with. My strength and the fact that the truck and equipment is so beat makes for no fun. I cannot give to people what I do not feel for myself. The enthusiasm of sounding good musically and with any ease, full of energy and sitting on the piano stool in the truck feels like I am dressed to perform like someone who lives on the streets and has not had a change in clothes for a month. I do not feel fresh and clean being on the truck because the truck is not fresh and clean. Creating music on crappy equipment, just no. It does not matter what others think. I must be having fun myself to give that to other people. |
August 7, 2026Las Vegas, NevadaI've lost about 25% of my physical strength since Mo passed. There was the lack of being able to exercise as in take walks with him and then the ligament I torn in my leg. I think I was holding on to strength in order to take care of Mo but I pushed myself too hard in trying to carry him. Thus, the ligament tear. Now in my seventies I need to keep a constant reality check that age is taking its toll on what I used to be able to accomplish or how much. The journey, creating music and interacting with people has always been physical. I must transform once again with this journey but have no clue to how or what. I do not think it is possible to totally leave it as my commitment to everything it stands for and the fact that well, to say there is nothing else I can think of doing or want to do is just being cowardly. To continue as I have been doing I need help but I am so worn from asking for help. It is like when I became worn from what it took to book gigs twenty years ago. it feels like I am done with it all. |
August 6, 2026Las Vegas, Nevada
I've been with just myself in life, a half year was the longest stretch. There have been many relationships but not where I was able to feel total trust or where any trust lasted. My parents were my original rock of trust in life and Traveling Piano Dog Boner came into my life right before my dad passed. My mom had passed twelve years before. Bo and I grew to totally trust each other. When Bo passed it was less than six months before Mo came into my life. Those six months were like it is now. With Mo now gone, there could not have been a stronger rock for me in life as in feeling grounded and safe. Mo was pure love and security for me. There is zero chance of another dog coming into my life for several reasons. And as relationships with people fail again and again well, I see no light at the end of the tunnel concerning a decent rock like relationship on any level with another person. Also, I'm realizing that I am not good at being social. At the same time I do structured groups well and I am fantastic when the center of attention as with the music on the Traveling Piano or in giving all my attention to others with compassion and empathy. But to just hang out and have fun informally with a group or a friend, I'm not good at that. I do have friends as close as it can get. We hang out on the phone when they are around but they are not a rock as in my parents and my pups who I could depend on always being present with me. |
August 5, 2026Las Vegas, Nevada
I must not look back on my desicion to walk away from the Traveling Piano Photo Art Gallery. It was not easy to do... at all. I will be processing it mentally, emotionally and in every other way for a while. Aside from the personal issues surrounding it all, I knew that when the gallery took off it would consume my life and journey, take me away from the music. And there would be no one to help me run the management, replenishment of stock, framing, etc... The music is still my priority even though I flirt with other options for my life right now. I let go of all the product. A huge part of me wanted to give it all away one by one with a personal gesture from the truck when I interact with people. I did that with more than a thousand music cd's, cassettes and Raggin' Piano Boogie posters left over from my performance career with the truck in the beginning. And also basically with everything I owed, which was significant. There is just no space to store all the photos and that was the bottom line. I was not willing to clutter what small space I have with more clutter at this point. In the beginning I ended up trashing some really valuable furniture and belongings as there was actually too much to give away. It would have taken another year. So it is now with the photos.
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August 4, 2026Las Vegas, Nevada
Politics, creating awareness, taking a stand as in speaking up in public forums, I must let go of all that and allow the torch to be kept alive by others if possible. I give it all up to God, ask God to direct our thoughts, have trust and faith that all is ok and will carry on with or without me through time and reality. Sometimes that comes across to me as giving up, that I must fight for myself and others until the very last moment of my life as in fight the evils I see in society. I've come to accept that there is disease that exists in the human mind in the worst of ways. Evil is a word that can be used to describe it. Evil can infect and destroy spirit through the mind here on earth just as spirit manifests through the mind. AI is an evil. I've said it since it was first taken over for the sake of profit. It is infecting the human mind. I believe spirit works through both our minds and our feelings. |
August 3, 2026Las Vegas, NevadaIn the beginning of this journey and throughout, so many happenings, crazy synchronistic and spontaneous moments, miraculous and astonishing unexplainable life events have manifested. That still happens all the time but now, everything is more about life and death than for me, so it seems. Mo passing... everyday I think of how he never in a million years could have lived through this heat. Just in the fact that I would not have the strength to carry him across my walk way and then up and down the steps to go to the bathroom. The ground would be impossible for him to walk on even a few steps as the temperature of cement can be more than 170º right now. Also with his physical body, it just became unusable naturally, with age. His spirit was alive and intact and he still had mindfulness in spirit until his last moment but, he had to go. I have a tendency to say it was just the two of us through that letting go process with no help or support but in reality, I had someone to help setup and pay for the vet and his cremation. As I walked out of the crematory a friend randomly appeared who knew nothing about what was going on and I had help getting through the rest of the day. But most of all I had a surreal sense of serenity and clarity to do what had to be done with strength, courage and mindfulness throughout the entire time. As I walked away from Mo's body for the last time I tripped and fell on the ground. For me that was obviously an act of "i'm done I can now collapse." I had finished that process though the complete assistance needed from God as I understand God and time to move into the next stage of life. |
August 2, 2026Las Vegas, Nevada
I am in a process of letting go of life while at the same time living life that exists to the best of my ability. Actually, we are taking in life and letting go of life all the time. What I take in and let go of concerning my age specifically is what I am dealing with now. God, as I understand God is helping to move me along. Most of it is subconscious. I realize the facts of God in my life after the fact. I live with trust and faith that I am with God manifesting my life in the present moment. The tricky part about is in knowing, deciding and being honest with myself about what still is possible for me concerning this Traveling Piano Journey. We are all striving whether we realize it or not. Live cannot exist without striving as in working to achieve goals. |
August 1, 2026Las Vegas, Nevada
I went out in 122º heat today. The vehicle I am using has air-conditioning that cools the air to a tolerable temperature. I have ice pops to give out to people on the streets. I see no one out and about helping people on the streets because it is too hot for people. When there is no one else, that is when i feel the most purpose. During covid, I was the only one out sharing food, water and resources like socks and blankets. The ice pops are perfect. I freeze a bunch at night and take them out in a cooler bag with a chunk of ice. They are fun, something to have with flavor, cooling, hydrating and when they are given to a few people at the same time it becomes a communal experience to all share together. I can't do it for the same people everyday else they look for me and begin to depend on my coming around to help. That would be too much pressure for me these days and I do not feel safe enough physically everyday to be out in the heat as an old man now. |