HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010
Use the links to the left to read a past Month or Year... and then there is always your Backspace to return to a past page.
October 31, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
So much for Halloween this year. Too much crazy going on, it is on a small scale. Today brought such a total smle to my face! Everyone can contribute to help the worlds situation in a way that is fun for themselves, eh? We all need help right now well, most of us. Jane loves to knit hats, that is what she does, she knits hats. And of course, she does other things too! She had a years worth of handmade knitted hats... what to do, what to do, what to do. "Hey! The Piano Man can use them to distribute to those living on the streets. It is beginning to get extra cold at night now." So today... Jane gave me a couple hundred hats that she created. She's also willing to make more. So if you have yarn laying around or want to contribute to the cause, she has a booth at the Main Street Peddlers Antique Mall in the Downtown Arts District of Las Vegas where you can drop your contribution. Think about the support, the emotional comfort alone that theses hats will give to people who need them the most. Not only just from the personal care in making of them, but of my being able to gift them one on one to people as needed... verses just in a donation pile at a giveaway somewhere. Jane is here in the picture with her step-daughter Kristel and grandson Corbin and of course, Traveling Piano Dog Mo. We were having FUN! After the photo op, Corbin got onto the piano for his first piano lesson.
October 30, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I am so happy when I am exploring in nature, especially with Mo. It is crucial for our well being these days. I think I can cope with anything as long as I can escape into the silence of nature. We ended up in Lake Mead having no idea where we were going when we left my room. At the first pullout on Northshore Road heading north towards the Valley of Fire... I just parked and said to Mo, "lets walk into what we have been enjoying from the road all these years." The area was full of hills and turns, I was a little concerned about getting lost and also the sun is still strong. But, we found ourselves right off along a high wall that was all shade. The path was smooth and even to walk on. The colors, textures and earth formations were as good as it can get. We took a nap under a cathedral of rocks. I have some great photos to share of it. I'm thinking to give up on going to Zion National Park as I talked about in the blog yesterday. There is so much here to explore and I will spend the money on the candy canes for people. I could go just for a few nights but it takes three days for me to settle in anywhere in order to relax so it would be five days or nothing. I choose nothing.
Mo jumped out of the Traveling Piano truck today thinking he was going to lead the way for our hike. He ran up right a tall steep hill and was looking down waiting for me to follow at the top. I yelled, "that ain't happening." There were holes in the ground everywhere so I kept a look out for snakes but saw none. When we were laying down I saw a huge dessert rat for the first time. That is what the holes were about. When we were done I drove to the next pull off and created some music as the sun set. While playing Mo became attentive and then began to whine. A huge almost five foot long bobcat had joined us. It was too dark to get a picture but is stayed for about seven minutes just watching us. That was the first bobcat I've ever seen in the wild. Awesome! I told myself not to be afraid... Mo wasn't going anywhere and it certainly was not going to come over to the truck with the music and everything else. I read that they come out at twilight and use the same habitual routes everyday. I may go back to see if I can get a photo sometime. On the way home about five miles down the road a bobcat pup ran across the road and stopped at the side while we passed. Wow... two in one day for the first time! Nature is awesome.
October 29, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Today was especially enjoyable with Mo. Once I got going of course it was late in the day but there was still two hours to be had in Redrock Canyon. The park closes at 6pm beginning November 1st. In the summer it is open till 8pm and now until Nov 1st is open until 7pm. I wanted to spend time up high in the air at a specific overlook to create some music. Soon it will be too cold to do that up there. First, Mo and I went on a little hike in the Calico Hills of Red Rock. The temperature was perfect, just a slight breeze, we walked in the shade as the sun had already set behind mountains. It was glorious, comfortable, serene, relaxing, beautiful... I laid on a rock and mantrad' some gratitude. Mo sat by himself nearby. Then as it got dark we drove to the overlook and I created music in the dark with Mo, no one around and with the moon almost full and the lights of the city in the distance. It was awesomely relaxing and I was musically able to discharge some angst about what is happening in the world right now. I need to get a special coat made for Mo, his size is not conventional and he gets chilled in the night air now-a-days. On the way back I stopped at the .99 cent store. They have both the Halloween and Christmas decorations out now at the same time, lol. So much for Thanksgiving. I saw they have the 4' plastic candy cane decorations I had purchased for several years to put on people's apartment door knobs for Christmas at night without their ever knowing where they came from.
It has been my little secret present, decoration for everyone. Some people have just thrown them in the trash and then I go retrieve them to give to people who are homeless. In fact on Christmas day I gave them to the homeless every year since 2017. I could not purchase them last year as I had no money and I was almost homeless myself. Also, I did not get to Zion Park last year because of no money. Doing that had been a special ritual/treat for me every year, the only time I've ever spent money on myself. The day after Thanksgiving a deal appears online at the same motel, same room... every year. The room goes down from $120 to $36 if you stay more than three nights. It starts the off season for Zion Park. That is a time I love because there are no people around. So... I know those candy canes are not going to last long and I am deciding whether to go get them tomorrow. Storing them until Christmas is a huge problem as I have no space in my room but I need to get them before they are sold. They will go fast because they are a great deal. And then the motel stay for five nights... I have the money... its for a piano or to fix the truck if needed, or if Mo gets sick. I have it from the past fundraiser. In not knowing how long I will live, with the trump situation and covid and my age, etc... should I spend it for the sake of quality of life and enjoyment or stay with the quality of knowing I have the finances to keep a sense of security for when I may need it. Ugh, decisions. Lol, Thanksgiving is a month away, but the Candy Canes, I'd need to get a hundred. Thats probably going to happen.
October 28, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I'm not exaggerating when I say that I have been wanting to create a green bean casserole and have thought about it almost everyday for over three months! Two months ago I got the french fried onions, last month I got the cream of mushroom soup, a few days ago I got some fresh string beans and bacon and today was the day! It was awesome... so awesome I'd say it was worth the wait, delay, procrastination, whatever, lol. I could not even wait to take a picture before starting to eat it. Then came potato soup so I would not waste the potatoes I had. Too often I try and cook something and it is like... "eww." Usually it is either that or just fantastic and it is totally difficult to cook small... small kitchen space or not! Four gallons of fantastic potato soup for the first time ever with potatoes diced, mushroom pieces with carrots, onions, celery and more potatoes chopped and blended in with milk and heavy cream, some finely grated cheese along with thick pieces of bacon direct off of the frying pan... lots of salt and pepper, some flour for thickness with Italian seasonings. And... it only took eight hours!!! The "only" in that sentence is sarcastic but it all did actually take eight hours.
October 27, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
A good friend just had 60% of his Veteran benefits removed. He was contributing monthly for the Traveling Piano to help keep it going. So now, of course that must stop. Monthly food assistance for myself, 60% was taken away also this month. To date, almost a quarter million people in the USA alone, are dead from trumps "Fake" COVID... mostly older people with preexisting conditions. Where are all their benefits going? Aid for tax paying people in the Environmental Disasters are right now being denied by this present administration. Where is the American people's, the corporate, wall street tax paying money going? All the money is being funneled into a few American oligarchs while the American people at large are being murdered by their own... the oligarchs. Every single person voting for trump... they think none of this will affect them? Morons they are, to say the least. All those already filled with anger, feeling like victims in life while supporting trump... they will feel the ramifications of their irresponsibility first. Evil is upon us and those that know not of evil are too stupid to realize... as evil destroys, it will take them down and everything else down with them... in the worst of ways. Alas, whilst I reject evil I will continue to live and work as possible together with my friends in a knowing that we are all together through love. We will continue to care for each other in all ways possible. Trump supporters, stubborn, angry non-voters... not you.
October 26, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
So... today was to be all about distributing blankets day and night. With the temperatures in the fifties, the night will be especially cold for those sleeping on the ground and in the forties. I felt physically better than yesterday but I so did not want to go out to do the work. I have anxiety for many reasons these days and also, now it feels like Autumn which brings up just about every emotional feeling there is inside of me. After some meditation I felt better. My life is set up in ways that create the need to do what I need to get done. For example... I took all the blankets Eric and Mary purchased and stuffed the entire back of the Traveling piano truck with them. I could have just picked up a carton at a time from their garage. But this way... I cannot use the piano until I give them all out. There is no room to get into the truck to create music while 120 blankets are packed in the back. So that necessitated my going to work. I set my mind on the decision to do it with no other thoughts except that I am going to do it and do it until the job is done even if I need to work through the night. And so it began.
And as usual, everything began to kick in. I attribute that ability to the meditation I did today and also the fact the I got the job done in less than three hours without rushing! There are many, many examples of this kind of thing happening through the years on this website. There were thoughts that the blankets were really not going to have any effect because they are really just fleece throws you know, for like watching television and to have something over you. Then I thought to just give everyone who needs one, two blankets which does not stretch the cost of them very much. You would think that those with sleeping bags are warm enough but that is not the fact. The desert cold is especially harsh and the cement ground makes it worse and then there is the wind. Everyone, wanted one no matter how little they may help... there was a desperate feel to get whatever warmth possible. Then people began to tell me how useful they are. They are small enough to fit in their backpack easily to keep, they are used as scarfs, people wrap themselves in them and then pull their clothes on top or they wrap themselves over their clothes and then get into the sleeping bag.
I was told even though they are thin that they are warm. There was total appreciation from everyone. There are an easily hundreds of people on the street within a mile from where I live so... I was wishing I had more. I would drive down a back alley and see what would look like a pile of cloth but feeling there might be a person under the cloth. So I sat and watched for movement and then I yelled, "do you want another blanket." There was no movement or sound and the lump was very small but still, something said there might be a person underneath. So I got out of the truck and nudged a spot. Then a woman's head emerged, she had been too afraid to move but when she recognized me from the past, felt immediately safe and grateful and said, "yes, yes please, thank you, God Bless You, how are you, I always appreciate knowing you are around." To take some of the "do-good" aspect out of the giving I told many people that friends of mine found these blankets at four bucks a piece and purchased a hundred and twenty of them for me to distribute for everyone. Every single time... "Please thank them for me." I remembered also today when trying to create an equal playing field with people I must be careful.
With not wanting to come off as better then they are in anyway, I try to be just myself and sometimes it does not work. I must be very careful in joking around to create humor. One guy came up and said, "can I have a blanket" and I impulsively trying to kid around as I was getting it for him said "not for you" which he took personally and in a humiliating way. Then he refused to take it. My bad! Sometimes, I slip up. People living on the streets are suffering, distraught, living in humiliation and fear... it is not something you can joke about with them if you do not know them. I gave two blankets to a nearby woman and asked here to give them to him after I left for a while, saying she found them. She told me that she prays for me everyday that God helps me to do my work. Lastly... I voted today, thank God... it feels like this time around one of the most important actions I have ever made in my entire life. The majority of homeless people I talk with support trump. Does that surprise you? That comes directly from a lack of self-worth, self-respect, a leaning towards authoritarian need mixed in with mental illness. These are qualities that trump sows with vulnerable minds in order to "use" them for himself whenever and however possible. He feeds on people only to toss them away when he is done using them. No one can question the truth of that in looking at just the last four years alone!
October 25, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
The air was not right in my room last night and as a result I sucked in too much Mo dander and that is never a good thing. I was sort of sick the entire day. The climate is changing dramatically right now here in Las Vegas. For the next two nights temperatures are going down into the 40's with winds up to 35 mph and could occasionally gust over 50 mph. My friends Eric and Mary purchased 120 blankets for those living on the streets so I can distribute them, Mo at my side, with the Traveling Piano. Thank God for Friends who care for others as I do! I began walking late at night to give them out and my feet hurt so bad and while still not feeling good, I only gave out six of the blankets before I had to head back to my room.
October 24, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
We ended up at the overlook for Redrock Canyon at sunset today and I created music non-stop for two hours. I've been exhausted for a half year after creating fifteen minutes of music tops while thinking it is my age or physical condition. It was the heat and lack of nature! The temperatures are cooling fast and with the cool wind I felt completely rejuvenated. People were in awe with the Traveling Piano visual and the environment. The music created some very special moments for many. I wore my "fuck trump" hat which is bright red with the word LOVE written across the top and a bright red face mask with dark sun glasses so people would not approach us. The visual is very confusing for people because of the red hat and they do not know what to think of the word LOVE on it. Trump wears the same thing with MAGA on it and people wear "Make America Great Again" hats they purchase from wherever.
People wanted very much to connect and two different trumper's tried, one with a trump pin on. I told them to stay away from us without having a covid-mask on. I realize what I offer is universal to the human spirit. Those self-entitled "I'm ok the hell with everyone else" people are just going to have to respect my need for distance right now in this earthy reality... for the sake of universal human spirit. They can enjoy the music and visual... from a safe distance. The sunset and mountains were stunning. I was in heaven tinkering with notes of music and feeling and soul. It felt good, it was beautiful. It felt good to create music for people, I'm figuring this new way out. Still, it is on an individual basis. I had a conversation with two guys. This is new territory, the purposely creating music for myself and people at the same time without an agenda to connect for the conventional Traveling Piano experience.
October 23, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
In the four years I've been hiking around Las Vegas, I've not seen one wild burro. Today Mo and I came across fourteen, mostly three to a group. We even heard some hee-hawing! It was from a Jack telling us to move on so his Jennies would follow him, I think. They were on top of a cliff we wanted to cross and when they saw us, stopped and never stopped staring. I did not want to chase them or try and make them move so we had a stand off. We waited, they waited, their stubbornness kicked in and after about a half hour we took off in another direction. What amazingly beautiful animals in the wild! My feet are really creating pain for me. I'll need to see a doctor but will not hear anything good, that is for sure. In the meantime I am going to walk in nature until I cannot walk in nature! Same with Mo. He has no more strength or agility than I these days. Everything is working out perfectly for us. We are aging at the same pace as I knew we would. All is good!
I began to take some pictures. It is interesting how everything just clicks in once I can get going. Once I get going with the music everything I do becomes automatic. The same with hiking and taking photos and working with people on the streets. The trick is to get going. When I am not "going" I do not want to "go." I'm tired, physically ache, and I am on the verge of depression with everything going on in the world... but once I get going, all that negativity disappears. But I do enjoy sitting and doing nothing, lol! For a time, and then it becomes worse than zero fun... the doing of nothing. I can say two very positive things. THANK GOD! The heat is gone. I do not think I can make it through another six months ever like the last six months. It felt like early spring not fall today. That is because there are no falling leaves where we were in the desert. And, for this month I am financially secure. That is not something you will read often in this blog, lol!
October 22, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Mo has been an incredible source of comfort for these days. Sometimes, I just stop whatever I am doing and go lay next to him and then we just hang out together watching the sky for a time.
October 21, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I had lots of potatoes that I could not let go to waste, gave away as many as possible and then decided I had to make potatoes salad to take out onto the streets. That... probably the least desirable thing I wanted to do. Serving food is one thing, making it to serve is another and the time involved for everything. I never made potato salad, the energy is exhausting for me to cook anymore plus I need to save energy for distribution, interacting with people and the Traveling Piano's music... but, I did it. Boiled potatoes, mayo, celery, onions, pepper, salt, grated cheese and thyme. It turned out as good as it can get but then again mayo is like butter. If you use enough of it, you cannot go wrong, lol! And the picture... this is the complete size of my kitchen. I did it all in this teeny weeny space! I must say... it was all kind of fun! I may do it again? I have enough for two more batches. Please God, no. My neighbor Bill went out with me to give it all out, he did some of the giving while I created music. It was beautiful having someone with me and getting to know a neighbor... finally after four years!
October 20, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Making potatoe salad to take to the streets was on my agenda for today but it did not happen. I drove to the non-profit I was at a week ago to get some food and the CEO Anne said sure go get it. There were about 80 large cartons in the lot. I went to get them and the non-profit from next door comes out asking who gave me permission to take some, I told her (she knew me from the "field" where I was with the homeless for years) and she replied with... these are my boxes, this is my "buisness." I asked if I could have one or two (to feel her out) and she said no, they are all alloacted. Of course they were not. Then I asked about getting food for the future and she was not interested. The operative word "buisness."
It is rare to encounter a "non-profit" large or small that is not underhandedly for profit... or a self-serving agenda. I've been dealing with all types of them for almost 50 years. The fakes are equally as distasteful as any corporate business who works underhandedly or for self-centered profit. Service must be first in mind for me. I run into and then away from the self-serving minded non-profits no matter how much help I can get from them for others. Respect and ethics first, intent and motive second, service and generosity third. Sometimes I will deal with the devil but I do it as little as possible. The Traveling Piano stays pure and detached from the "nature of the animal" concerning non-profits because one-on-one giving without agenda is the way to go!
October 19, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Today was mostly a putz around the room day. It is very difficult to clean a small room crammed with stuff like food, clothes, equipment... I have lots of Traveling Piano Art photos and frames, etc... to store in as neatly as possible. If I want to take out the cleaning brush and bucket I need to move 20 other things to get to it and then put them back... blah, blah, blah... I've been watching television shows that I have downloaded through the years and also took Mo for his walk and we meditate as much as possible on the bed together. Staying motivate is a challenge.
October 18, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Crazy, crazy world. My feet hurt these days... a lot, need to lose weight. As soon as I could get it together and loaded up with about two cases of cold water for people living on the streets, Mo and I headed out. More and more I am being asked for the music more than the water, so... at three places where we stopped I crated music for everyone. That felt really good! Hunger is growing among the homeless and the nights are getting colder. Blanket requests are growing. I can only do what I can do. In driving past the auto shop where the Traveling Piano photo Art Gallery was pre-pandemic, there was what looked like a lot of smoke coming out of the garage. I knew they were being duffuses by spray painting a car with no ventilation. It was so much, someone called the fire department and a fire truck appeared. Denise the owner was sitting on the sidewalk eating and acting like nothing was happening as two guys from inside walked out of the paint smoke, lol. They are all so out of it... I would be dead in five minutes breathing nothing but that. It phases none of them. If my photos had been in there, they would have been destroyed. Before ending the day I stopped at my friend Sarah's store to create a little music on the street. Navigating this pandemic is totally difficult. Yesterday I had a piano playing friend on the piano. He was the first person to play since the pandemic began. There was no one else around so it felt ok. But, someone else I knew appeared and I shook his hand. I can't be doing that. Today, a couple came by and no one else was around. They were wearing masks and seemed like common sense people.
I invited the guy up onto the piano seat like in the old days. That was another first since the pandemic began. It has been so long I forgot my usual words my patter, a sort of script. Having had practically the same exchange over the years with at least a hundred thousand people... it only takes a few months for me to forget!? Feeling my way through these times with the Traveling Piano is the only way to go. I can't be inviting everyone up, cannot be encouraging people to be out and about do not want to draw people to me, even six people around me at a time even though it is outdoors and everyone is wearing a mask. It is insane how the situation is about to become more grave in the coming weeks than at the start concerning infections and deaths, and how we have become so used to the idea. It is unbelievable how many people could not care less. They will soon... but it will be too late. The are causing the economy to crash by pretending they are saving it by being out and about now. The situation is becoming objectified. Being responsible is more out of choice verses fear or forced closures as when it all began. I knew that before, all the casinos closing had nothing to do with the public interest that it was all about the money and legal issues for them. And as well the governor was able to close what he did by leaning on the casino factor. But even back then people were still out and about at all the large corporate stores like home depot, Walmart, the food stores, etc... Whatever... it was good to have a little of the old feeling of interacting with people today. I just need to stay super aware and not let it escalate back to any type of old normal.
October 17, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
After waking up as soon as I could, that is in the afternoon these days... I drove to where there was supposed to be a non-profit, homeless outdoor BBQ but no one was there. So, I went back to my place and packed a case of Gatorade and water to distribute on the streets. Then I called a new friend Dave Hull who connected with me on Facebook and also made a contribution for the Traveling Piano fundraiser. He set up a new working music, video studio for himself and invited me over to see it. We have a lot in common in different ways. He thinks of himself as a busker (musician on the streets) but he is also a pro and has been a strong cruise ship performer. I had mentioned "That's A Plenty" an old Ragtime Piece I used to perform and what a treat... he got onto the Traveling Piano and played it! I would call him a creative as he is not only a New Orleans Ragtime, Stride Piano Man, he creates video and other kinds of music also. I am hoping that he will want to play on the piano more often. The world needs more of what he has to offer. Tonight I was going to go and show some support for a homeless friend who just got a two night a week gig at a Casino doing card tricks. He used to play Hollywood parties for the big wigs. But... there are so many assholes out packing the streets without masks that there is no way I am going to put myself into those crowds of irresponsible, self-entitled, "I'm ok, the hell with everyone else" people.
October 16, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Eric, Mary and Eric's sister-in-law Barbara had Mo and I over today for a dip in their heated pool. They also cooked another grilled rib-eye steak dinner with an added treat of fresh apple pie. Wow, it was just so wonderful. And, they care so much for Mo. I need and want friendship. I trust them, they trust me. They contribute to support my life and it has been ongoing now for a year. I gave them the keys to my truck, apartment complex and room in case of an emergency. They will take care of Mo if needed. Now I have two different people to handle any needs for Mo. Also, I dumped a box of extra stones on them that I could just not throw away. They are stones I've collected throughout the northern hemisphere through the journey. I still have favorites in my room to enjoy. Also... my mothers night blooming cereus plant that I have been growing since I moved here to Las Vegas. My friend Barbara sent me leaves from the plant I gave here in Virginia and it has grown too big for the size of my room. I am so happy for them to take it. I told them as Mo is my child... the plant is my mother. They understand, totally. They also gave me a huge care package of home cooked food and left overs to take home. Barbara is a fantastic cook!!!
I really hope these friends stay in my life as I have been disappointed many times in the past. I gave my keys to two others and took them back since I moved here. Speaking of disappointment, the post I made yesterday to my brother's legacy page. It was taken down. Ahh... for the love of censorship and ways to get around that, lol. I am glad I posted it here on this website yesterday. My family really has a problem with the truth of spirit and keeping life on life's terms "real." It hurts. But the hurt will not last long. I feel more inspired to write a book from it. People have been suggesting that since the journey began. And, God puts people in my life for reassurance and to validate who I am, my character and what i am about with respect and the trust of truth for my worth... like the friends I spent time with today. The greatest gift of this journey... to be able to trust my intent in-spite of what anyone else in the world may think and... to have people trust my intent with respect and my ability to accept that trust from others. This, I never had before this journey, especially from immediate family. I understand. They do not trust themselves. They trust authoritarianism in what they are told to trust. I trust individualism through the truth of spirit.
October 15, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
It does not feel like I accomplished very much today. Cataloguing and framing about 80 Art Photos was it. One of my brothers sent a link to the legacy page of my brother who just died, no words with it. Against my better judgment, I felt an urge to say something on the page to create some comfort for someone in the family (ex-family)... while knowing it would be rejected by certain people. Who am I out to please? Reminds me of the Dr. Seuss saying: The people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind.” Here is the entry: Bill had a difficult life in many ways through torturous obstacles. With the vietnam war, the disease of alcoholism, family struggles still, his love in being a survivor and his core love for family, people and life itself always existed. I witnessed his showing of that both in person and from afar. Bill was full of desire for all that is good, for God's relationship with us all. Through him I have had the gift of relating with Iris, Lea, Christine and Alexis for fun periods of time. Bill had a love of nature. This is something we had in common and shared together along with the desire for love in general. We are all now Bill's heaven. Here's to the continued enjoyment of life, in the moment, and with memories of love... to keep my brother alive in spirit.
October 14, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
It feels strange but special that this week my friends Eric and Mary purchased cases of Poweraid to hand out, I served hot food for the first time ever, my neighbor Melvin went out with me to the streets and today Todd who has been giving me water to pass out brought eight cases over and another neighbor Billy went out with me to the streets. Like Melvin, Billy and I were interacting for the first time and what a turn around from the past! I have many neighbor horror stories I've written about in this blog from the last four years where I live. I went for a year practically not looking at anyone or talking to anyone because my neighbors were so crazy. Today was really amazing, I hope my energy was not too much for these guys and I hope that the help continues... in a manageable way for me. Concerning the passing of my brother yesterday, I've been doing ok with not letting past family dynamics take over my brain to destroy me but it has brought up how my family history before I was born has never been talked about and the family history since I was borne is not being talked about. It makes me want to write it all down and publish it because I know it will be helpful to someone who is interested. There is a lot of information to be set straight and knowing it all and my perspective may be helpful for someone.
October 13, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
My eldest sibling died today. I come from a family of eight. My baby sister Pamela died a crib death and then there is a sister who is the oldest and four brothers (now three) before me. It would have been nice to have had a relationship with any of them but that was not meant to be for my life. This brother, his name is Bill, we have not talked in twenty years and I do not think we have had five personal conversations throughout our entire lives. There were two major things we had in common other than the same parents. He was a full fledged, roaring alcoholic for his entire life and oh, what havoc the disease wreaked for his life and everyone in his life. But for the Grace of God, I found recovery, he did not. Also, a love for nature existed for both of us. He was also a Vietnam Vet who the government used in the worst of ways after he was discharged from the military. They hired him on as a Narc because he was willing to do anything they wanted him to do... when he was drunk. When his illness became so great that he was no longer any use for them... they threw him away the same as with all who serve.
Onward... Mo and I took a ride to Redrock Canyon to listen to the silence. It was a half hour ride each way for only about fifteen minutes because we got to talking with some people in the parking lot. So be it. The hiking is minimal these days not only because of physical strength but I can not get up early enough to get out before dark! So, we walk a little into the desert and I just find a spot to lay down in and we just "be." Mo usually finds a spot to burrow into. He really enjoys making holes in the ground to lay in. Tonight tho, he opted to lay on my stomach while I laid in the sand between rocks. For us both, it is total heaven, laying comfortably on the raw ground in nature without a sound. You cannot see it in the picture but he is grinning bigtime with complete love! Maybe every once in a while we would hear a bird chirp.
October 12, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I was sleeping as the phone rang twice this morning. I just let it ring while wishing it would stop. Scam calls stop after a few rings. It did not occur to me that the reason it rang so long long both times was because the calls were going to voice mail. When I woke up I saw two messages. One was from my friend Eric and the other was an unknown number. Eric had left a message about a dinner invite with his wife Mary and sister-in-law and a few other questions about Mo (who Eric and Mary really have affection for) and he wanted to ask me about some of my needs. The second message from an unknown number, I was about to delete as I do not listen to phone solicitations. Also the call was from back east where I grew up and that usually translates into political solicitation... but something just urged me to listen. It was from one of my brothers telling my that my oldest brother went into the hospital last month from a stroke and the situation does not look good moving forward. I let go of my family, separated totally fifteen years ago. This present journey resulted largely as a result of that. I've had no contact with the brother for at least twenty years, I do not think we have had more than five personal conversations in my entire life. It is what it is, sad but true. My relationship with all my siblings have never been worth very much unfortunately. The ways we are very different from each other well, I am glad I do not have to be in relationship with any of them through this trump period of history. They respond to authoritarianism as a whole and I respond to individualism as part of the whole in life. They know respect more as a demand and I know it more out of choice.
Still, there is no escaping family just as there is no escaping religion when you are indoctrinated enough through fear, loyalty, obligation and expectation. I have had to accept what they are about and who they are as part of my being and learn to deal with it accordingly throughout life... as detached as possible. I was raised as a fundamental, republican Catholic. Thank God I escaped the ideology and manipulation of it all. I have no respect for any of it what-so-ever, although I will always have a deep respect for the religion at its core. Same with my blood family, thank God I escaped the dysfunction of it all but I still have a deep respect for the idea of ""family in general. My religious upbringing and family upbringing were of the same type of indoctrinations all built around symbolism, title, hierarchy and with little substance or depth for my life. After hearing Eric's message first today, I knew it was a "God Thing" as I call it. His reaching out to me served to fill me with reassurance, caring relationship, nurturing and validation so I could handle the second message from my brother and not fall into old family dynamics that could have taken control of me in the worst of ways. Then I turned to my emails. The same brother had emailed me with more detail saying my oldest brother had also had a heart attack yesterday and is now moved into hospice care. And then the phone rang again, it was Eric. I wondered why he had called so soon again and had not waited for a return call from the original message. It felt unusual even though I've known him for a few years we are just beginning to relate outside of work. The call was full of more reassurance and validation, he had no clue he was doing that. After I hung up it felt again like a "God Thing" to keep me going strong after the email. I am being taken care of. We all are. All is well.
It has been very fortunate indeed, to be able to see from a spiritual perspective almost in realtime throughout my life how I am being taken care of. I cannot see it all the time. It takes work and practice to see it. I have not said this in a while... it happens because I acknowledge it, am grateful for it and then I share the experiences with others. There are literally hundreds of amazing experiences written in this blog throughout the years. They are amazing synchronistic and spontaneous experiences of every type on every level. By the way, I am still creating music outdoors almost everyday and have not been writing about it very much because there is nothing interesting or new for me to write about. How many times can I just repeat the same old, same old over and over? In the old days the change of environments and situations were constant. And then the varieties and types of people and experiences of personal relating were constant. Now, it is basically the same people in the same environments with me playing and not much else. The worth and affect the Traveling Piano has is as strong as ever but I am just not interested in constantly trying to spin that reality to make it exciting and different everyday. I just continue as always for better or worse to state everything as it is. This website and everything about it has never been about impressing anyone. And so, as I become less impressive with age or as the Traveling Piano becomes less impressive through images and words... it is what it is! I'm still loving doing it all to the best of my ability and I love that people care, no matter how few and if only one... that is enough. This pandemic has really been a downer for the Traveling Piano for sure. Still going... onward.
October 11, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Last night I was running around to all the supermarkets trying to take advantage of a rare power-aid sale but all the supermarkets were out of them! I came home and first thing, an email came through. Danny... we brought up all the power-aids left around town for you to share on the streets with people through the Traveling Piano! How awesome... Not only that, a box of large dog treats for Mo and a hundred bucks in food gift certificates for me. These friends Eric and Mary... Eric I knew from his years of volunteering at the Las Vegas Rescue Mission where he served dinners while I created music with Mo at my side. Every week he would have dog treats for Mo and every once in a while he would make a contribution for the Traveling Piano. But... we never connected outside of there until the pandemic began. They had me over for dinner a few weeks ago with their sister Betty and they have been helping to support the journey. If need be, they will take care of Mo for me as Mo has a personal connection with them all, especially now. So there are two options for Mo should I pass or become incapacitatedin someway. That... is very reassuring.
October 10, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I am really pushing my limits. Aside from the fact that I can barely walk because physically my entire body from waist down hurts like crazy all the time... I have this food that I do not know what to do with. Actually I do, there is only one option... cook it and share it on the streets. This, I have never wanted to do. Everything is either already cooked and ready to go or it is food that does not need to be cooked. It is too much for me to cook on the small burners in my room and then also take it out to serve but... I did it. I cooked five gallons of chicken chili and it went in less then five minutes. Also, I purchased cups and spoons, it was only five bucks but again something I've always told myself I did not want to get into doing, spending money to do my work. And sure enough... the first purchase was a trigger. After I was done with the chili and everything else I had, I drove right to the store to purchase gatorade that was on sale.
Luckily, the two stores in my area with the sale were both sold out! I do not have money to be spending on anything but necessities. But here is something crazy. My friend Eric and his wife Mary, they knew I wanted those to get those gatorades that were on sale. As soon as I got home an email came in from them. They purchased almost 200 bottles. That... is amazing God working in my life. That is why the stores were sold out. The synchronisity, the purpose, being taking care of, being shown that I am doing what I should be doing, etc... While on the street, I created music and that felt really good. Maybe I have never been downtown on a Saturday about 6pm because the wedding chapels were filled with waiting lines. I must have passed two hundred couples waiting on the streets outside of places to get married. That is not an exaggeration. I may surprise a few of these places with music next week if this is what is going on every Saturday and I have not known about it.
October 09, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
There are serious physical issues I have that necessitate my losing weight in order to deal with and I just do not want to. This life long issue, I've had enough of it. My weight has been a huge part of this journey. Getting into shape was a major component of it for the first two years. Now, I really do not care if it takes me down at this point. After Mo, eating is my joy these days! I still love my work with the Traveling Piano but it is in fact my work. It is a very complicated issue. On another track of thought... three different events I know of in just the last month here in Las Vegas where an organizations CEO or event owner said, "The Show Must Go On" as planned in spite of the danger for others concerning the Covid-19 virus... the show must go on UNTIL... they themselves get sick and end up in the hospital. Three times and... three times a sudden turnaround... "We Must Cancel the Event, it is too dangerous." These self-entitled, needy for immediate gratification, "I'm OK the Hell with everyone else" people who can only respond when they themselves are personally infected with enough self-serving fear... they make me very angry! Stay Home, when in public wear a mask and distance yourself from others. Stay out of places with a lot of people in them. Do not attend events when possible.
October 08, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Mo and I headed out into the desert to meditate some because I've been feeling tired and sick but... along the way Mo and I came across about a 1000 hard boiled eggs, with gallons of milk, yogurt, cottage cheese, potatoes, fresh cooked chicken chili, apples, bananas, oranges, grapefruit, cookies... and with it being a hundred degrees here in Las Vegas, it all needed to be delivered pronto to my friends on the streets before the sun and heat spoiled it all. A complete truckload emptied in two hours! What a maniac I can be when my passion for love and sharing surfaces. Who's a sick boy, who's a sick boy... I just do not understand how people see those like myself as do-gooders or special in anyway. Seriously, if there is an abundance of food, so much that it will get thrown away, (you only need to keep your eyes open for that) and there is a way to give it out, (this always exists) and people want it... and throw nothing but appreciation, validation, friendship and respect back your way... reassure your spirit as a result... why does not everyone do this? It is a no brainer. It is also a perfect fuck you to those who want just the opposite for people in need... to just die or disappear. It is an amazing way to act out on personal feelings of fear, anger, hate, helplessness, I could go on and on. So... I may have found a new source today for food to give to those living on the streets!
October 07, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
On waking up, I felt uneasy in every way. The first thing I did was meditate for a half hour. It was amazing how much better I felt physically from that. Still taking it easy, I worked on the Traveling Piano Art Photo Galleries. Later, I felt good enough to walk Mo. That... was a mistake. My hips and legs and feet... lots of pain. I stayed offline all for a few minutes. I do not need to see peoples comments on trump, the world, the election, the environment, the virus, etc... especially with views against my truth of spirit. All of that in my fragile mental, physical, emotional state right now is not a good idea. I looked into volunteering for the election today. Also, I went out to share water on the streets and create a little music. I remember back in the old days when I would get sick like i've been and I had a performance to do... I just pushed through and often by the time the performance ended I was completely healed. Truth. I think the energy i had to put out and the having the focus go 100% into my work verses feeling sick, all that would force my immune system to kick in. My performances took a tremendous about of jolting energy to accomplish.
October 06, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I was crazy sick today and I do not think it was from my sneaks. At my age I can now have ideas as to how my body works and when things go wrong they can be from the strangest of places. Some of my "syndrom" explained in this blog through the years was playing a part but through time this year, I'm pretty sure my kidneys have been a problem for many reasons from the color of my urine, to not being able to drink enough water in this desert, to what I eat... I know the kidney can give foot and leg problems, can be attributed to my lack of strengnth and being overly tired. So... I slept all but a coupble hours today, drinking cranberry juice, taking it as easy as it gets. I cannot say it enough, Mo... what a fabulous companion although he needs his walks and to get out of this small room... could not do it today. Also, I remind myself that everything passes, it has been much worse through the years and when its time to go, its time to go... everything is ok.
October 05, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
Wowee, I have a new ailment. I purchased a pair of walking sneakers, high priced as they were advertised as old people support walking shoes. The sneaker messed up my body alignment big time. In the middle of the night pain began in my feet that I never felt before going into one of the toes. Today my hips hurt like never before. Pain can be exhausting but after I took a shower and cleaned myself up I could at least stand and so I took the Traveling Piano out to the streets to handed out two cases of Gatorade and created some music for people on the sidewalks. That felt more comforting for me then the people... I think. It was very comforting for me. Then Amanda for the Las Vegas marketeers stopped by to drop off forty face masks for me to hand out to people on the streets. Need to just... keep going.
October 04, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
The nights are cooling down, thank God and now if only the days would cool down. It is still at least a hundred degrees every day. Most of today was spent creating and framing and cataloguing Traveling Piano Photo Art, specifically flowers. I am going for full flower power! There are many things I need to do this month. Get the truck worked on... again, switch this entire website to a new server for the first time ever and find a server, make sure my email account stays active without paying more money, fix the computer, find outlets to sell the Photo Art as I must make some money, continue onward with the Traveling Piano's music and Homeless Outreach, try and get into better physical shape, find a doctor and maybe a shrink that takes medicare, find out how to best volunteer for the election, pray that God takes trump away with the corona-virus... and I need to partner with someone to adopt the Traveling Piano for future needs and even to take from me after I pass on to keep the legacy of it alive. My friend Stephen will get the truck if not someone to take it to a higher level.
October 03, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
As soon as I could get it together Mo and I headed over to the Antique Peddlers Market on Main Street in Las Vegas today. The people who own the place were having a one day "pop-up" sale with vendors and I wanted to give the store some support. They asked me to do that, They support me! My energy does not last long playing these days. Of course the piano takes a lot of energy to play on as worn out as it is. The truck is dropping oil. It has not done that for a few years. I'll need to really take care of that soon... it pains me but I have the money from friends who gave to the fundraiser last month. Cannot take it back to the repair shop I just paid a couple thousand to, cannot do that, cannot do that, cannot do that... need to keep telling myself because they don't know what the hell they are doing! Inside the store it was crazy with people crowded in there. They must think they are safe wearing a mask. No one is safe wearing a mask! A mask helps. Wear one! But that does not mean it is ok to congregate indoors in groups, in rooms not well ventilated... morons!
October 02, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
I was driving down a back alley giving out water to my homeless friends and a guy doing a photo shoot for a calendar to create awareness for breast cancer asked me to stop so he could use the Traveling Piano as a prop for a few photo shots and of course I said yes. A homeless woman I know came up and gave me five dollars. The guy was like, "what, that homeless woman just gave you money???" He went running after her and gave her twenty. In continuing on, I parked the truck to create some music where there are about eight homeless people who gather to sleep against a wall, she was one of them and she gave me four bucks more! Lol, that just touches my heart so much and of course I take it because it comes from a desire to contribute, support and be part of. When people try to give me money in payment, as a token or because they think I am needy... just forget that, I refuse to take anything. Contribution... desire to be part of... support... YES!
October 01, 2020
Las Vegas, Nevada
The day was spent ferociously working to catalogue nature photo art prints so I can sell them and have a system, a sense of what I sell, need to replace, my inventory, where to find what... because of the way my mind works I must create my own system. It is time consuming, can be somewhat ridiculous to others but must make sense to me. Everything must be done so I have at least three options to be able to remember in finding and recording everything. So now I have 600 photos in a file in three different ways and categorized by type, color, file name, humber of photos, place it was taken, they are all numbered and more. Now I need to physically number the photos themselves, sign the frames, put the photos in the frame with a backboard, package each one in plastic and store the copies for easy access to replace any that I sell. I'll need to find places to distribute them for sale.