Raggin' Piano Boogie


HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010

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January 31, 2010

Jeffersonville, Indiana

Boner and I went for a walk today and that felt very good for both of us. I must begin walking without him... I mean he can go for about twenty minutes but I need more for myself in exercising. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I will. Our daily walks together for years has been a favorite. Ahh... I'm projecting. I want to live in the moment.

I am lowering his dose of steroids by two thirds and changing antibiotics as of today. I made a decision to go the steroid route, it was that or chemo which would not have worked on the road but... he has been anxious with the steroids and I do not want that for his life... for my satisfaction... his longevity. I want for him to be comfortable with his life forever how long. I want music for us. Tomorrow it is supposed to reach forty degrees and we are going out with the Traveling Piano truck and that is that! If he gets too cold for him, Bo can hang out in the cab.

I've been very comfortable staying with my friend Melanie, gotta watch that. I keep a conscious focus on the journey, the journey, the journey. She's had the "hots" for me, ha... a possible problem but we seem to be getting through that. Ahhh.... relationships :)

January 30, 2010

Shelby, Kentucky

It snowed once again last night. Snow has been in my life for ninety eight percent of the last two months. The temperature is in the low twenties. The truck was fixed by interested guys from a repair shop named Camz in Jeffersonville, Indiana. I really appreciated their taking on the job in replacing the crankshaft seal without hesitation and being interested enough to head off the next breakdown that would have come from corroded belts. I would never had made it to California with what I was using. He gave them to us without cost. I need to remember I'm not in my rural little hole anymore. Ha. I need to shower and shave all the time with my being back in public and interacting with an urban environment. I took Boner to a vet to have him checked for my own reassurance. He has developed a new problem from the people food I had been mixing in with his dog food over the last month. Turkey and fixen's from Christmas, droppings and licking of plates from the dinner table, etc... No good. Something having to do with his pancreas. He is going on another medication as of tomorrow. I am going to have to come down very hard on future dog lovers that I meet, especially women. No non-dog food. People give me more trouble then the dog when it comes to food. They are always trying to feed him people food wether I say no one time or ten. My friend's conures... (tropical birds) I've been talking with them while I work. They say "whatcha doin"? I say, "working". They say, "ok". I'm trying to teach them to say "piano man".

January 29, 2010

Clark County, Indiana

Oh my God, we are destroying my hosts home. Last night when I was out taking care of my computer, Melanie my host, sat upstairs in her living room while allowing Boner to stay downstairs and bark incessantly because it was not bothering her. Problem was the barking drowned out the sounds of his scraping and digging deep gashes out of the wood that her very expensive front door. At least he could of scratched with the direction of the grain but no... he had to go sideways. I never had one incident at a hosts place in all our years until now. Ugh. I am sharing space with conures... two sun and one green cheeked. The Traveling Piano truck is in shop getting a new crank shaft to take care of the oil that has been flying out everywhere... its twenty degrees outside.

January 28, 2010

Jeffersonville, Indiana

My resourcefulness in finding "work arounds" to get to my emails and to post this blog with one computer down and the other one completely undependable... I find amazing. It will also be amazing if my host Melanie does not throw me out of the house after having her sit in the car for over two hours last night to keep Boner warm while I dealt with computer repairs in the local mall along with losing her main house key within the first twenty four hours and... last night, lots of oil from the Traveling Piano truck has leaked onto her driveway floor... hmmm, should I be nervous?

At the local mall I found an old lady playing the piano in a department store. She did not want to come outside on her break to meet Bo because she has allergies to dogs... did not want to see or play on the Traveling Piano because she was too old... I said, "how old are you" she said, "one hundred and five" I laughed and said, "me too"! She also did not want me to play on her piano... so it goes.

I'm jonesing to play music outside but it is below freezing and that would be ridiculous. Having Bo with me is the best and he loves our host and her environment. Luckily, he was able to stay home with Melanie while I spent eight hours today trying to iron out computer issues. He spent eight hours barking at the door for me to come back.

January 27, 2010

Jeffersonville, Indiana

We are staying across the river from Louisville, Kentucky... burr, cold! It was a 13 hour drive averaging 45 miles an hour... putt, putt, putt Traveling Piano. The truck... down hills using a low gear verses the breaks and lots of coasting while averaging 40 miles an hour up hills not to push anything. I was afraid to turn the truck off when we came to a rest stop. About half way, the truck began to sing with howling and harmonic whistling coming from what sounded like the dashboard. I have no idea... Its all about care, eh? I don't know how I'm going to play music anywhere it is so cold out! The earth is so beautiful even at night. I followed red trails of lights from vehicles a mile away while driving on route 79S. The road snaked sideways through and around hills. Drove through two snow storms, plows and everything. Now the truck is covered with both mud from the rural areas and winter road salt from urban highways. This does not make for a Traveling Piano pretty picture! The snaps holding the cover on are no longer holding. Bungee chords are now assisting. I enjoyed the dark silhouettes of mountains where I could see the depth of the valleys with snow covered ground. After about five hours, It was really an awakening when I discovered we were once again driving on a flat terrain. I had been in the hills for a long time. Boner handled the drive fine. We stopped about six times to stretch, eat and we also munched along the way.

After a few hours of travel, a major feeling of being out of my comfort zone began to overwhelm me. I thought, "you better get used to this feeling or develop a new definition for "comfort zone." We are on our last run with the Traveling Piano, Boner and I. Free spirits more than ever, I have now let go of all past material possessions. They have found their last resting place in my friends West Virginia cabin. I have my truck, piano, computer and hardrives with a bag of clothes and equipment hardware. I drove through the driveway gate of my new friend Melanie's home at three in the morning. Both Boner and I took to her immediately. How great it is to feel at ease and completely welcomed, both of us... into a strange environment, in a beautiful home and with a person whom we have never before met... and at three in the morning! Today it was snow showering and cold... again, so I gave Melanie her first play of music with a lit candle for ambience (ha,ha) on the disgustingly dirty Traveling Piano truck (because I have not had time to clean it yet), in her garage... and then of course she had a go at it on the piano for herself!

January 26, 2010

West Virginia


January 25, 2010

West Virginia

I plowed through a swamp like terrain to get the Traveling Piano out of the barn where it has been hiding through all the ice and snow. We are getting ready to leave tomorrow. The packing has been dreadful. I need to take everything I own that is important, my hardrives, equipment, archives, computer, living needs etc... and pack it all into a small 1987 Toyota pickup with no cab. I've obviously packed several times before but never without having a home base to return to in order to access belongings and never for what might be years. Then again it might be for only a week. So it is for living in the moment. Funny thing, the truck might not make it through another day with its fragility. Hahahaa... Diediedie... Whatever happens, so be it!

Without question the most difficult part of this journey for me is the accessibility of supplies. Unzipping bags to find a toothbrush or a specific hardrive wire, removing an item from a packed bag without messing everything up, putting it back neatly... remembering where it is in the first place... storing dirty clothes and then washing them while traveling, yikes. Carrying things in and out of the truck for use and safety every night... ugh, ugh, triple ugh! To work life this way, from travel bags packed to the hilt... takes a Zen like patience for me. Unzipper, zipper, remember where, unzipper, zipper etc... There was a time in my life when I had zero patience to work with any sense of organization and then I went to the opposite extreme of not being able to work because of being over organized and now... I just need to take my time, whatever time it takes to be careful and stay tidy.

I will be without my computer for another week so it seems. God I am so pissed off about that, not really... I just deal and stay in the present moment these days knowing everything is good. I paid bucko, bucks for the best computer so that it would not break down and so I would have a spare computer in case my old one broke down. *sigh.*

Basically I'm not going to pack tight but just throw everything in the truck because once I get out of this muddy environment I'll need to clean the entire inside and out before I do a final store of everything for use. I have stepped in dogshit thirteen times in the last fifteen days. Between Boner and the neighbor dogs, no matter how careful I am... between the mud, leaves and poop it has just been unavoidable. There is something to be said for living in a cement jungle.

With all that said, Boner and I are truly free spirits. We will have no specific agenda and we work our asses off to contribute what we have to offer for life. Without costs to anyone, and without commercial, political, organizational interests... we use spontaneity and syncronisity to create music for people to discover. No looking for audiences or egotistic attention... although I do hope people contribute so that we can continue. I began to cry with gratitude this morning for having found a mission, a purpose in life. I have known in the past what it feels like to have nothing to contribute for life. First thing I did when I got the truck was jump on the back of it to create some music. I felt pure validation and reassurance that life is excellent.

January 24, 2010

West Virginia

I was thinking... If God is everything, and God is all-good..... then how can bad/wrong/suffering exist in God? The idea of bad/wrong/suffering existing in God seems off the mark for me. So, maybe man who I believe is co-creator with God, through God... (sort of like God creating natural environments and man creating cement city environments) ...maybe man created the idea of bad/wrong/suffering and if that is so... then what purpose do the concepts of bad/wrong/suffering have to offer for man and creation. I think it may have something to do with ying and yang, polarity, etc... I do not think animals suffer. I think they desire only to live until there is no ability left, although... the idea of suffering can be taught to or transferred to animals through man. When animals kill each other they don't think its bad. I have been thinking about all this as I watch the animals in nature transition through the winter months where I have been staying in the woods.

In packing to leave for what may be years with... a pair of shorts, a pair of pants... I'll not have much variety in clothes. I should be used to that. I'm not. It has been taking up to a half hour after finishing a simple short task to find the where-with-all to move on to the next task. Bottom line is... I do it. I do what it takes. Thanks to the support of friends over the years, God working through them... I have been empowered enough to do any job whatever it may be, however difficult it may seem, no matter how long it takes... as long as there is no pressure, obligation or expectation! :)

Before I went to bed I thought about how thankful and appreciative I am for my dog, my ability to create music and my ability to affect peoples lives in a positive way. To affect people's lives in a positive way... I am most thankful for that.

January 23, 2010

West Virginia

Focusing on what really matters concerning money expenditures have really been weighing on my mind. What are my priorities? Am I going to blow what little money is left with bad decisions? I have no hesitation with thinking about spending money on a computer if needed... but to put out a large chunk of money to spend money on Boner for tests, exams and treatments that might not be of use, nada. What is wrong with this picture? I'm especially thinking of this in seeing that I did spend a lot of money on a computer and it is presently broke and of no use.

I have been telling myself that because my computer has broken down I am afraid to use my spare computer because it will not work. The machine will break if I try to use it. How stupid is that? Not use it because it might break like the other one did? In getting honest I realize and understand that although there are a multitude of problems with my spare computer I can still do some daily online work, somewhat. The truth is that I need to work in a different way which scares the shit out of me. Really, I've had diarrhea over it. Too much info? Also, I just realized that subconsciously I am creating a stoppage of everything that has been distracting me from doing what is needed to get back out and on the road. I feel a need to devote every ounce of energy in thought and action to getting out on the road. I have a very tricky mind, I do.

I was thinking... thinking is consciousness feeling. A thought is a creation, a concrete manifestation for the world.

I have used my alarm clock once since June. Sometimes when I wake up, I remind myself that I don't need to get up, there's no reason to get up if I don't want to. Then I feel gratitude for the opportunity to be this way, to be able to keep on sleeping. Do you think this way of life is easy? It is a lot of work to let go of all the pressures surrounding the conditioning of what I am allowed to do or not allowed, should or shouldn't do, conditioning to be part of what everyone else does... everyone? That's bullshit because there are many kinds of different people living in different ways throughout the world. There is no "everyone way."

January 22, 2010

West Virginia

I am learning how to feel. It takes practice. There is a trial and error about it. Learning how to feel is like developing an art, like learning how to do math. The way to move through this world experience is with feeling. The inevitable is coming. I can feel it. We will be leaving this cabin. The process of the smallest task can seem excruciating at times... to get moving, but once I get going it always it feels good. Being on the road totally free and without agenda will feel even better. Sometimes it feels like I am getting nothing done, like today.

But... I got my new GPS up and running, did some packing for the truck and storing so that the cabin is back in order for when the owners visit. Spent hours on the phone troubleshooting computer problems with a tech from Oregon who although I accomplished nothing with as far as the computer... I did establish a new contact for hosting when we get out West, a person who very much seems to be on the same page with the Traveling Piano's mission in living life. Cooked some hamburger with mashed potatoes, played with Boner through our usual routine. Did nothing?

I feel some angst about not having been in contact with friends around the world because of computer problems. I know people are concerned about Boner's health and my well-being. Hoping all my correspondence and work has not been lost on my computer hardrive that is messed up... will not know for several days. I am focusing on the feeling of fun and being ok in the moment while constantly re-evaluating what I want for my life, what is important, my commitment with what I have to offer for the world and how that relates to other people.

January 21, 2010

West Virginia

My neighbors Cindy, Dave and Pat came over for pizza. I felt really good about that, having people share my space. I must also say, I completely treasure being alone in my space! Ha. I started Boner on Q10 Co-Enzyme tablet, which is supposed to help strengthen his heart. This will be given daily along with his steroids, pecid, Lyme antibiotics, fish oil and multivitamin. When is too much? I have been trying unsuccessfully to install software on my backup computer so I can work it in case of an emergency. The store did not tell me when I had it serviced that... the new operating system would not work with any of my present software. All my present software is upgrades so now I must spend a thousand dollars to purchase completely new full software? Damm them.

I am feeling forward movement naturally and without projection, assumptions, the need for decision making and without excitement, anxiety, or over anticipation. This is good. Had planned to have been gone and on the road by now. Here I am sitting, watching water run down tree trunks as ice thaws from the trees. It is really kind of beautiful and different. Also in the snow there are amazing zigzag designs from solid four foot, thin pieces of ice fallen from the telephone wires above.

With no radio, television, limited phone, no computer, internet... wow, I can remember a time in my life where I could not stand to be with just myself. Well, I do have Boner for company but all in all... I love the silence, peace and serenity for now. I know what is coming with plenty of excitement and chaos once I get back to work on the Traveling Piano.

January 20, 2010

West Virginia

I wanted the life experience in having stewardship of a dog since age five. It took until I was almost forty years old. It took that long until I was ready to have my present life experience and "boy oh boy," having that now... is great!!! All this writing about Bo is not new. I wrote about him every day for the first year of this journey and posted it on a link I made for him. It was not a totally easy experience from the start. I had a lot of leaning to do and I want to share it all with other people like myself. You can find the writings on his website. I avoided writing about him on this present Traveling Piano link because I did not want to confuse people with the website link agendas but I have begun to embrace the fact that... all my experiences and relationships wether they are with creating music on the Traveling Piano or otherwise... everything I write about is part of this Journey of Peregrinating Musical Exploration. Today I don't know what to think so I don't... but I feel good so I feel :)

January 19, 2010

West Virginia

Boner has been staying extra close to me these days. He found a new spot on the ground behind my chair. Like myself he has always liked to mix up his life with variety in all ways. After about every half year... on the sofa, on the ground, in different rooms, on different surfaces, far away, close etc... He is like me. I enjoy variety and the desire to emote change of environment to keep life interesting. Last night he was too tired to give me his nightly tongue bath. When I went for the usual ritual after our "treat" game he plopped into a "massage me" position. It was like, "tonight you put out the energy, I not feeling up to it" and I did... gratefully. His meals have turned into recipes of cooking. For all of his life he has had straight, dry dog food. Now it is the same dog food soaked in warm water with chopped up string beans for fiber and something else like broth, gravy, cheese, or meats for flavor. Who knew I would come to a point in life where I would be cooking for my dog and enjoying it? Over the top? So what. I now cook for myself in life, (there have been very unhealthy periods of eating nothing but fast or prepared food) ...why not for my dog. We both enjoy that.

January 18, 2010

West Virginia

Last night fourteen year old Emily had a typical Traveling Piano experience without the truck. I had wondered into the local hotel on the way back to where we are staying to create music for a few minutes. There was piped in music playing in the lobby but that was not going to distract me. I needed to play some piano even if on a mediocre piano and with lots of distraction all around. After starting I heard nothing else but myself. Ha. When I finished I turned around to find this sweet girl sitting on the couch and totally caught up with musical rapture in the moment. Well, as anyone who has read through this blog throughout the last four years... everyone knows what happened next. Emily sat down at the piano to improvise starting with one note... embracing that one note, loving that one note, caring about that one note, listening with interest to that one note, etc... She said, "your talking my language, I am thinking that I was meant to meet you tonight."

January 17, 2010

West Virginia

My dog, everyday i've been talking about him... well, it is what it is. I have been lovin' him so. He is without question the main focus of my life these days. To be honest... I love most the fact that he loves me so much and that I can mirror that love back to him. The ability comes from a trust that I have been able to embrace. Every once in a while the fear or feelings of loss seep into our relating. The fear is mixed with the love but luckily I can be conscious of that happening. I experienced through Boner a few years back... that the definition of love for me... was attraction, abandonment and loss all mixed in as one. Feelings created from unconscious and unaware thoughts until I realized... "I am loving this dog so much why do I feel so lost in it?" The answer came. What an awakening that was! I've been preparing myself for this present transitional period of life ever since. Love in the moment with conscious pure love of attraction the only focus.

January 16, 2010

West Virginia

I have decided to kick up Boner's meals to three times a day. He used to eat once a day and then after going on steroids I up'd it to two times a day... and now I think it will be easier on his system and heart with three meals... same amount just spread out more. We all should be grazing all day long I think. The friendships we have made through the Traveling Piano has created an enormous amount of security and support to help with this period of life. I feel safe and if I feel safe then Boner feels safe. Thank God for friends. Hey, I've heard that somewhere before... the vintage pics I have been posting to the blog... some of them almost gross me out. Ha...

January 15, 2010

West Virginia

The word that comes to mind today is commitment and then feelings about responsibilities surrounding whatever I am committed to. No obligations... expectations... just overall commitment to a life of fun, friendship and respect with musical empowerment and inspiration. Boner's diagnosis says his chances of living past this month are not good but it does not feel that way. I am committed to loving every minute with him and sharing our partnership with the world... on the road soon I hope. The temperature went above freezing today for the first time since before Christmas.

January 14, 2010

West Virginia

Same old, same old. I keep saying I am going to do things and it seems that I am not doing any of them although I know in reality things are getting done. I am progressing slowly, just not trusting myself and wondering if I am deep in distractions. Trust... is my word for today. Time is relative and want to remember not in my time, or anyone else's time... the present moment and enjoying that... is all that matters.

January 13, 2010

West Virginia

My mind has choas and order both at the same time... feels like I am teetering on the edge of something or other... managing. It is like... "don’t go playing in your head Danny the toys are broken and there's no adult supervision" ... need to go to spirit. I'm ok with that. This keeps me moving forward. Everyday I say... fun, friendship, respect... musical empowerment and inspiration. To feel that... ha, that can take effort... and that comes from grace. Give me more of that there Grace!

January 12, 2010

West Virginia

There was a time in my life with just about everything I would think, "you have no idea what I am going through." My experiences have proven me wrong. I do not have unique problems. Now, there are people in my life who understand everything about me, who accept and embrace, adjust and change with me because... they understand... the tolerable and almost intolerable... about me, ha. My ability to now connect comes from trust. I got it! While thinking about people who are critical of me or my life in anyway a new quote came into my mind. Do not use me for your un-enjoyment. Ha, I love that! Don't get me wrong, I still get jerks in my life and I make mistakes concerning people with whom I originally think I can share a friendship. It is all trial and error, practice... sometimes exhausting practice but it is all good.

January 11, 2010

West Virginia

Our next host whom I have yet to meet has been willing to host us for many months now. I have been delaying... weekly even with every few days. There must have been at least... no exaggeration, twenty reschedules to date while realizing that she had a lot of anticipation and desire to welcome us for a visit into her home. I remind her that I am doing the best that I can and how much I appreciate her patience while (to myself) accepting totally that she may say... "enough, forget the whole idea" ...at any time. Ha! What she always says instead is, "I understand." Throughout this journey many people I have found understand. They seek to understand. Eternally grateful... me. People understand that I have given my life over to this journey for the purpose of life's enjoyment and to share that. It is what it is.. for now. They understand that life, this journey... takes different twists and turns and it has nothing to do personally with them and that "time" is not a priority in my life and for this journey. They accept these facts and support. Throughout the past four years I have experienced one hundred percent patience, tolerance and acceptance with constant delays, reschedules, cancelations and surprise last minute needs from friends as well as strangers who offer their support. Isn't that something? I think thats something.

January 10, 2010

West Virginia

Just had my coffee and a bagel. It is noontime. Bo is laying behind my chair, totally contented. I had to take his picture. He has not been eating his string beans in the morning (to help with poop) so I cut them up into ieeny weenie pieces to mix with his food. My neighbors after hearing he is having health issues gave me a major crock pot full of turkey broth and mixen's left over from our Christmas dinner. They had saved it for him and left sitting outside their back door ever since. It has been below freezing outside since Christmas.

Once I get going again my first stop will be in Indiana, a straight through ride which will take about ten hours. I called my friend Melanie to check in and report on my status as a sign of committment to myself that I am going to move forward. Tomorrow I will go to the Traveling Piano truck and see if it will start. Wish us luck. Today I am going to get as real as I can and think about what I need to take with me. I used to plan for travel as people did in 1910. Today in 2010 there are usually stores everywhere within an hour to get what is needed. Pack light is the name of the game. Everything left behind will get stuffed in plastic vacuum storage bags to protect from dirt, dust, bugs and mice etc.... I'm been getting ready forever. Want to stop doing that and just leave.

I was going to leave at the end of November. An opportunity present itself to move the rest of my belongings to West Virginia. Did that. Then came storing it all. Then came a water problem. Then came unpacking, repacking and storing it all again. Then I found a stink bug infestation with it all. Then came unpacking, cleaning, repacking and storing it all again. Stink bugs... what kind of distraction is that to bring into my life??? There were a few other ditties in that mix like Boner's health, my friend Pats visit... the holidays, etc... Ahh, excuses.

January 9, 2010

West Virginia

Went into the depths of sadness twice with confusion about Boner's health and his passing. Everyone is telling me something different. I don't know where to turn. Am I projecting loss? Is his health deteriorating or am I projecting that? It is probably both and from my life experience so far... usually is more projection than anything else. Bo wants to be near me all the time. Thats a good thing. I called three friends in training. "When I call like this (crying) please just be with me for about five minutes while I cry. No suggestions, sympathy, commiseration, distractions, trying to lift my spirits, etc... just let me cry and feel it all so I can go through it. If you cannot handle that... I completely understand but please just tell me up front." Sigh.

I began to improvise music on my keyboard. God, that felt good. I want to do this more often. I had a strange awareness. My right hand was being the musical foundation for whatever I was creating for the left hand. It is usually the other way around. I can never get it together what the right and left brain are about so there was no figuring it out. I just let it be.

Afterwards, Bo cleaned my face; not something I especially enjoy but he loves it to death. Ha, that wouldn't be such a bad way for him to go. After about twenty five minutes the word "rapture" came to mind. I was in the present moment with "The Dog of My Dreams"... the dog I had in my minds eye as a child since age five, I waited for him almost forty years. He is here with me "present" loving me to death. Nothing better... who knew? I used to think people who talked this way about their animals were over the top. Now I understand. Some people love like I love Bo... their car stereo's, sports, their religion, etc... I never got into sports that much but I do love my dog!

Before bed we played our new nightly "treat" game. I have these little biscuit chips and toss them around on the floor for about five minutes each night. It becomes a search and find for Bo one of his favorite things to do. It also creates some exercise to go along with his licking of my face! Our old chasing each other around the room has become a slow short walk around the room. Sigh. It is ok. What is important is that he still wants to "go for it." We just adjust. I love the new "treat" game and so does he. After his meds and giving him some Greek God brand yogurt a friend purchased suggesting it might help with his digestion... I tasted some. Oh my God is that good stuff! So I ended up eating potato chips and yogurt but... not together.

January 8, 2010

West Virginia

The deal I made with myself when this all began... In knowing that more than half of my life is over... and how I have suffered throughout life trying to deal with fear and the repressions taught... put onto me by people and society in general... I thought that I had better start having some fucking fun with what I do and can do... and while I still can! What would I have to lose? I'm going to be dead soon!!! Ha. I won't be going to hell because I don't believe in it and besides... I know in my heart and soul after twenty five years of hard therapeutic work on myself that I am a good and decent person. I now know that... no matter what anyone else may think. While reminding myself that I have no interest in traveling alone with my work and have never had an interest in doing that... (with Raggin' Piano Boogie I was booked for twenty years outdoors on the truck with paid performances in the same communities and mostly all within a days drive of my home) ... considering that I do in fact love to travel (have been to about seventeen different countries) and love to experience people, places and environments (natural and otherwise)... that I have a basic desire to be inclusive with all of life... I decided that it would be fun to explore and travel with the Traveling Piano... and Boner while he is still around. Bo would be the company with whom I would have the most "fun" with (not work) in sharing what I have to offer for the world. In order to keep it all fun, it was necessary for me to get rid of all obligations and expectations, any ulterior motives surrounding the idea... finances came to mind first. So, I decided that while Boner is still in my life we would do it all for free. Create fun, friendship and respect along with musical empowerment and inspiration... and to share our partnership with the world, our world, my world... with pure love (attraction) and enjoyment of life. I believe this is why we are all here on earth... to create, share, be part of ... to enjoy life.

January 7, 2010

West Virginia

I have been trying to get a vet to respond to some questions concerning medication for Bo. I am also ever so slowly moving forward to getting back on the road with the Traveling Piano wether I am ready... mentally or physically or not. The security of this cabin I have been staying in... especially with Bo's health... my illusionary needs concerning a functional state of mind... ha, what can I say about that? Too much... :) I need to get through the snow to see if I can get the Traveling Piano truck out of the barn it has been stored in. We are supposed to get more snow tonight. "Danny, do to not listen to almost worthless weather reports." I want to get Bo to a vet tomorrow. Need to put mouse traps around the cabin. Want to think about what is most important to take with me or leave here at the cabin when I leave. The cabin will not be straightened up like I would like to have it. The truck will not be neatly packed or clean (ugh). My supplies will be disorganized. What can I do? I do the best that I can and continue onward. The priority is to continue onward.

January 6, 2010

West Virginia

I do what I can, to avoid negative thoughts about Boner's health. I think about living in the moment and enjoying all of life with him. I enjoy feeling him, watching him, interacting with him. I enjoy his watching me, wanting to be close and wanting to interact with everyone in being part of the pack, his world, every single person we meet. Bo and I spent the day with a friend and went for a long walk for the first time in a long while. It ended up being too much exercise for him. He has been panting heavily daily. After the walk it seemed that he couldn't catch his breath to pant. He would pant and then stop, pant and then stop repeatedly. My friend Sherri helped with my thoughts on the way home. "He really loved, I mean really loved running around for the entire time." This was true and I have always said when he passes I would like for him to be having fun in the process. She said, "People as well as dogs have their good days and bad days, you cannot predict what will happen from day to day." This has been my experience, one hundred percent and absolute throughout life. I was sure my dad was going to die one night. Fifteen years later he was still alive. One day a nursing home called, "your friend Gertrude is on her last breath, get here quick!" The next day she called me on the phone with an enthusiastic, "Hi ya babe, what are you doing?" Bo did not jump at his food this morning to woolf it down as usual. With the steroids and antibiotics I've been thinking they have been controlling him and he has not had a choice but to constantly crave. The truth is that throughout the last fifteen years he has gone through periods of being sick and not eating for various reasons. Why would I want to get paranoid and fearful because he is eating with a different enthusiasm. Bottom line, he ate it all just not all at once. Man on man, Danny... relax!

January 5, 2010

West Virginia

We are transitioning and I am embracing that for all its worth. Boner with his health... it is fragile and we adjust. Me too, I am more fragile... the truck too! Today we do not go out to play music when it is cold. I prided myself over the years with being able to create music in sub freezing temperatures. Goodbye pride. Boner wore a sweater while sitting on top of the piano in the cold. Now if it is cold he needs to be able to run around in it to stay warm. No more piano top sitting in the cold for Boner and also... no staying in the truck without the heat on. He cannot tolerate the cold. When Bo was young I used to leave him inside the truck with a down filled comforter to stay warm. Today this is not possible and a challenge when I need to do an errand or anything for a period of time. Next... with the fact that we have always been together for fifteen years... at this juncture of his life... to leave him alone anywhere creates a lot of stress for him. He goes crazy and will rip a place apart to get outside to be with me. I adjust. With his being on steroids... no more staying overnight with people who have high energy dogs or around people who do not know how to handle animals with food. For myself in this time period there is nothing new with transitioning. I am always transitioning. The trick for me is to stay aware and not prepare. I can get stuck in trying to control, get ready, organizing to have clarity with how a transition will take place. The truck... can we talk fragile and falling apart? Lets not. All I can say is that.... Its still going! The window on Boner's side of the truck is the priority to fix. It will not go down unless it stays down. If we get into warmer weather it will need to go up and down for air.

January 4, 2010

West Virginia

The total for individual financial contribution in 2009 was under one thousand dollars. Does this bother me? It hurts a little when I forget my basic intent, my agenda... which is to share my world unconditionally. It is a challenge to stay honest with myself about that. One friend has given us twenty dollars a month through the Raggin' Piano Boogie contribution subscription page... another "one" family choose us for their tithing with two hundred dollars... another friend brought us a road mapping device and then another has been sharing their cabin and not charging for any of the expenses incurred. It does not matter how many people care financially. It only takes one to keep us going and that is the truth. Why? I don't know. The largest expense is travel... gas, tolls, truck repair. That expense has been paid so far from the remains my home sale. I sold it to help fund the journey.

January 3, 2010

West Virginia

How do the financial needs get fulfilled for this journey? Many people have thoughts about finances ...all the time... so this a question asked often... unfortunately, because... my financial needs have been fulfilled partly by not focusing or thinking about them. I am reminded of these thoughts when people bring it up. Instead, I think about my intent and motives, being connected with the world, what I have to offer, what I share... I think about how appreciative I am of peoples desire to include us in their world and share what they have to keep us going. Believe me... I can get messed up in my mind thinking about finances. One day at a time, life works... not in any one way but in a myriad of ways... opportunity presents itself and we take hold with awareness, gratitude and a desire to share everything.

January 2, 2010

West Virginia

The Journey of Peregrinating Musical Exploration's fifth year has begun... or is it the fourth. I cannot honestly get this together in my head. We began in 2006 so the journey is four years old and we are now in the beginning of the fifth year right? So do I say we are in our fifth year or do I say we have been on the journey for four years? I can get real confused. Fun, friendship, respect... musical empowerment and inspiration... a full time working career with no fees and at no cost, no solicitation for tips, no commercial or organizational or political interests! Hahahaha.... Go, go, go, go, go.... Anyway... it all is truly amazing. The Traveling Piano truck now twenty three years old, piano dog Boner now over fifteen years old and piano man Danny Kean, fifty-four years old. Hahahaha.... Go, go, go, go, go....

January 1, 2010

West Virginia

Been working ferociously to update the website for 2010. Have you checked out the archived menu links to the left of this page, the last four years... everyday? Ha, amazed and full of gratitude am I. How about a unique improvisational piece of music every day since 2006 on the "A Gift of Music Daily" menu... and then again also... 15,000 wowowowowow... Traveling Piano pictures in the "BONER THE DOG" link. I'll be back with what is going on daily in a day or two... or seven.