Raggin' Piano Boogie Daily Blog

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June 10, 2018

Las Vegas, Nevada

With two recent celebrity suicides, it has made me think that I've never personally known anyone who committed suicide who was not an alcoholic, drug addict or both. And most people did not know that they had the disease of addiction. I've known too many people in my life who have committed suicides, at least 20 the first being a piano misc teacher from my college years. These thoughts about suicide may be helpful for some people. Concerning others that it is not helpful for, this is not for you.

I think of suicide often, almost daily for at least a moment or two. When I speak about it people often freak out. This is mostly because they fear death themselves. I've come to terms with my true self in spirit. I do not fear death. Also, I know that death is simply a transition of spirit that I choose to have hope and faith in. Being able to talk open and freely about thoughts of suicide to others will save more lives than anything else.

Concerning mindfulness, I am also aware that I have a psychological "death drive." This is often a helpful survival mechanism. Look up the definition if you do not know what that is. Lastly, in reality as long as I work to stay true to spirit I have no choice in the matter. I will be alive as long as I am serving purpose to be alive. That, is an individual truth known for me personally and only through the grace of god as I understand god or... as some people say, the universe.

Some people think they are being helpful when speaking out against suicide when in fact it only creates guilt and shame for those who are thinking about it. Honestly, do you think anyone is going to talk about it or get help when your making them feel wrong, bad and horrific about the idea? Or maybe you think that by seeing your compassion and empathy will heal? And, with the generic posts online about caring oh yes, how intimate and personal... not.

A suicidal mind is feeling self-centered and so that is how people are perceiving your attempt to help. They are seeing you as self-centered in wanting to help them. Also, telling people they are mentally ill and need medication... just don't do that. Then, there is the selfish component of suicide created from many states of mind organic and non-organic. If someone is off the wall from too much alcohol or totally apathetic as a result of smoking too much pot, you have no control over it whether you want to or not. The worse for me personally... when people perceive, assume and transfer their own thoughts and fears about the possible suicide of someone they know... onto that person, ugh.

I work on simply not judging and that can be difficult. When I see someone is having mental difficulty, I let them know I care. Maybe, I ask if I can help in anyway and I had better be ready to follow through with whatever help they ask for. Sometimes I probe by asking, "how bad is it." Never do I discount the scenario or try and make them change it... unless they specifically ask for help. If the situation is right in the moment... I share my own experience, strength and hope. If they reject me or are not interested in anyway, I move away because I will only make the situation worse.