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March 09, 2018Las Vegas, Nevada
When I have a commitment for work, it takes up my entire day to be ready in mind, body and spirit and especially now-a-days. I'm sure part of the need is because of age. If I am not of clear mind it shows through my music. Mo and I went to the Las Vegas rescue mission today to create music for dinner and I did not have a clear mind. While playing pieces of music I have known for a life time I get brain farts forgetting where I am and what I am doing. It has to do with focus, sometimes ruminating thoughts and sometimes getting carried away with what I am doing in the moment, I lose control. Interestingly enough, when I am improvising nothing matters because no thinking is involved. The manifestation is all feeling through spirit and one cannot miss when life and energy is happening solely through spirit. Living in an environment with a lot of mentally ill, drug addicted, alcoholic neighbors does not help. I left them all back at my apartment complex slithering around corners with the hope that no one sees them, wheeling and dealing with each other on the sly, so they think, while at the same time oblivious to anything outside of their diseased minds, self-centered in the extreme.
That is not a put down it is just plain fact. It is the nature of disease. Their minds manifest noise and chaos in their heads that they do to want to feel or think and it is manifested through playing loud electronic or rap music, talking a hundred miles an hour at the top of their lungs, constant banging of doors and constant back and forth walking in front of me as well as throwing up outside on the side of my truck which happened last night. To give whomever credit, they did try to clean it off. We all live in amazingly close quarters that has a small balcony walkway and my door and window is always open as I sit and do work about twelve feet from it all. At the rescue mission none of the craziness comes into play. All the people living on the streets and all the diseased minds are being satiated with food, love and music and I feel nothing but joy and gratitude in being able to be part of it all especially the nurturing part. Wow, to have a job where I am constantly receiving validation and appreciation, it is very fulfilling. Sometimes I'm sure people think I am getting paid or something but... whatever. The bottom line is that they enjoy for themselves the short time we have together.