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February 13, 2018Las Vegas, Nevada
I had an experience today and am not sure how to talk about it. Mo and I drove to a dead end street so I could practice some of my old repertoire without interacting with anyone.There was a wheel chair with a dirty black tarp piled next to it. It did not look like anyone was under it but Mo went over and sure enough, there was a guy sleeping. At first I thought about leaving so I wouldn't bother him but then again... people are always in my space where I live so why should I accommodate them in theirs. Public space is public space. As I practiced, the fact that I was probably driving him crazy got to me. When I practice my old stuff it is the same thing over and over, nothing pretty about it. I could feel the guy under the tarp. He was the worst of the worst down and out, as bad as it can get, the worst I've seen ever. I thought about how people look at situations like this and I came to a conclusion that yes, that man is my responsibility. He is all of ours. We are responsible to give him some validity, reassurance of spirit, to show him some self-worth and to take care of him physically in the way he needs or wants it and not how we think he needs help or what we think he should get or deserves. The helping process is on an individual basis. But the thinking did make me stop practicing. What I could do is create some music for him to help soothe and lull him into a most restful sleep. My music always affects people in a good way although he did not go into a more restful sleep. The music brought him to life and he got up and came over to us. We spent some time. He did not want to get into the truck but he sat on the side and played some music from there. I jammed with him. We talked and took a selfie. I asked him about it because I don't want to exploit his situation nor do I want to be exploited as a do gooder or anything like that. There is some water in the back of my truck and I asked him if he wanted any. He thanked me saying no, he was fine.
His name is Lyle and he's in his forties. Amazingly enough I met his sister about a half year ago. I'm sure I even wrote it in this blog because it was significant. It was dark and he was laying on the ground. She found him while visiting Las Vegas and wanted to give him some love with total respect. She lives in another state and was visiting. She knows the area as Lyle has been living here for a long time. He is an innocent spirt. I got a feeling that he is living a self-image that was put onto him. Also, he had a serious accident years ago that has made his body and mind weak. The guy definitely is not an alcoholic or drug addict. Since everything is always about me... I realized that his interaction was so significant because of the fact that he would even hang out with me, interact, partake in my life and journey, just spend some time with me as a human being and with other agenda. I have a tremendous amount of gratitude for that. We were not afraid to interact with each other. He could tell I was not about pity or labeling or putting any judgement on him. As a child, this was the type of person I was raised to be most afraid of, raised to pity and judge from afar... to distance myself from in reality as much as possible. Always from childhood I knew that was wrong, wrong, wrong. Actualizing the truth as an adult moves my soul with total compassion, empathy... fun, friendship and respect. Even Mo could smell the truth. He kept reaching out for the guy with his paw and then when the guy responded he sat still on the piano for him. Often Mo will shy away from homeless people and with almost all people now moves to the opposite side of the piano. I'm glad Lyle did not climb into the truck. He would have permanently smelled up the piano seat, lol! He was really, really tired and hurting but knows of nothing else for his life. As with ALL homeless people I meet, they want to work to make their way but circumstances block the way. We shook hands, he looked me in the eye and I think we both got some reassurance of what is most important for life and that is love of individual spirit together as one.